Behind the Mask
by Penelope Cough
Summary: Kurt has been hurt by Karofsky so he goes to Dalton for a new life where he meets Blaine. Will Blaine be able to help Kurt open up? He meets Wes, David, Jeff, and Nick.  There will be romance between Wes and David and bromance between Jeff and Nick.
1. Dalton

**Kurt's POV **

"HEY HOMO!" yelled some jock named Karofsky as he shoved me against some nearby red lockers.

I just sat that for a moment in deep thought about how much I hated it here at McKinley High. The jocks ruled the school strutting around in their tacky red and white letterman jackets no matter what the season. Red is such a bold color and should definitely not be worn every day like that. Who picked out these school colors? Plus we live in Ohio but really? I mean really, every day it's cold enough to wear a letterman jacket? No, but those jocks have to show their dominance somehow whether it be wearing distasteful clothing or shoving the nearest, and only if I might add, gay kid in the entire school into something.

My white designer jeans were probably ruined along with my hair. I sighed and grabbed my spare outfit out of my locker along with some hairspray, of course. I quickly went to the nearest restroom and changed into a pair of rather tight black skinny jeans, a white short sleeve button up shirt with a pair of black shoes to match. I quickly fluffed my short light brown hair to perfection and added a touch of hair spray. I stared at myself for a brief moment finally happy with my choice and headed to glee club.

Being gay got me shoved into lockers, thrown in garbage cans, and verbally harassed, but being in glee club got me "slushied." This of course means that while I am minding my own business walking down the hallways in the latest Marc Jacobs couture, a random football player will splash me with an extra large slushy. Not only is it a burst of freezing cold ice that stings my eyes and drips down into some pretty dark places, but the drink stains my clothes, ruins my hair, and makes me look like a complete idiot. I've learned to just bring extra sets of clothing to school every day, but I shouldn't have to. It's starting to piss me off.

Glee club was exceptionally boring today. The director, Mr. Shuester, just gave the two soloists more solos. Yaye! Not. You know it would be nice to actually sing for once in a club I've been in for a year. I should be happy though since one of those soloists happens to be my step-brother and The Finn Hudson, quarterback of the football team. I would think that since Finn, being my brother and all would help me with the whole his teammates shoving me into things, slushying me, and calling me deplorable names, but it doesn't help. He doesn't help. I'm sure if he wanted to he would make it stop, but he doesn't. I guess even though we're brothers, we aren't really that close even though I would like us to be.

I'm so glad glee is over for once. I stayed late practicing a song I planned on singing to prove to Mr. Shuester that Finn is not the only male lead in this group. It was getting late and I kind of wanted to go home so I called it quits after one run through. All I could think about was getting into my shiny black navigator and going home away from this hell hole. I slammed by locker door as the football team passed by. I shut my eyes hard and braced myself to be shoved as hard as possible but it didn't happen. I guess I'm invisible late in the afternoon. I turned the way they came and almost ran right into Karofsky. Gosh I hate him and he smelled so weird. He just stood there and stared at me as I backed up just a little bit. Then I suddenly had the wind knocked out of me and my head hit the lockers so hard. He kneeled down and whispered in my ear, "I don't like your kind dirtying up my school, fag." He got up and laughed and started to walk away. There was so much rage inside of me that for once I got up and yelled "HEY!" as I chased him into the locker room.

"What the hell is your problem?" I screamed.

Karofsky looked around the empty room and asked, "You talkin' to me homo?"

"Yes you idiot!" I yelled.

Karofsky looked at me and laughed. "Whatever get out of here, Hummel. I don't want you sneakin' a peak at my junk."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you're definitely not my type," I laughed.

"Is that right Hummel?" he asked.

"Please you're a huge, sweaty football player who will probably be bald by the time you're thirty," I replied.

"Man fuck off!" he yelled and his voice was so ragged and angry but I pushed anyway.

"Gladly but you know what? You are nothing but ignorant and just so you know you can't punch the gay out of someone asshole!" I yelled proudly regretting it shortly after.

"You are gonna get it Hummel," Karofsky said as he got closer to me.

"Bring it," I said scared out of my life. "Assho-"

I was cut off because out of nowhere he grabs my face and kisses me hard. It was disgusting and his breathing was so heavy. I shuddered as his hands moved from my cheeks to my lower back. This can't be happening. Is a first kiss supposed to feel this terrifying? I pushed him away as hard as I could. He looked so sad but only briefly because his frown and teary eyes turned angry. He grabbed my hips hard and pulled me into his body. He leaned down to my ear while unbuttoning my shirt and whispered, "If you scream right now, I'll hurt you and you tell anyone about our little "date" and I'll break your neck, Hummel." I realized that all of the glee kids and football players were probably gone so even if I did scream, no one would even hear it. I cradled my hands to my chest crying. He ssshed me and licked my neck and proceeded to pull me in even closer by grabbing my ass tightly making me jump. He started sucking and biting my exposed shoulder making his way to my collar bone. I breathed in sharply in pain and cried harder.

The door bursts open with Finn standing there just staringshocked at what he was seeing most likely. Karofsky quickly pushed me down, grabbed his bag, and left the room pushing Finn out of the way. I sat on the ground staring into space thinking, "_did__that__just__happen?__ …__no__I__was__…__.then.__I__didn__'__t__He__didn__'__t__..__"_ I felt hands shaking me, and then suddenly a voice too calling my name. I zoned back into reality and just snapped. I yelled at Finn. I don't know what I said or why but I just yelled for him to stop touching me. He looked completely bewildered at me. I got up and ran. I had to get to my car. I had to get home. I had to get away from here. I had to get home. I was safe there.

I drove home as fast as I could not stopping or paying attention to anything in the way. I tripped up the porch stairs fumbling with my keys with tears obstructing my vision. It was dark when I got inside meaning that no one was home. It was only 4:30pm. So, Carol and Burt wouldn't be home for another hour or two. I ran to my room and threw my bag down. I locked myself in the bathroom, turned on the shower, and just stood there thinking. I tried to forget everything but I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about his hands and that kiss. I stood there for what seemed like hours trying to get clean. The water stung my entire body. I finally got out, wiped the mirror and looked at myself. I had finger prints on my hips. His fingerprints. They were so big. And my shoulder was a horrific purple color with bloodied teeth marks around it. It looked like it should hurt, but I couldn't feel anything. I wasn't even crying anymore. I was so numb. So, I got in bed and buried myself under the covers.

A little while later I felt a hand shaking me awake. "What?" I whispered hoarsely.

My dad looked down at me with worried eyes. "You were yelling… having a nightmare. Finn told me you got hurt at school so I came to check up on you. Are you okay?"

I looked away and started to cry again. "I dunno. I don't think I can go back to that school. I can't do this anymore, Dad. I can't. I just—"

"Ssssh, Kurt," he said hugging me. "It's okay. We can talk later. You just sleep it off okay kid?"

I nodded. I felt him get up from the bed. I missed the comfort. I was so scared I would dream about _him_ all over me again. I sat awake and wondered what could have happened if Finn hadn't showed up. I didn't go back to sleep until early the next morning.

"Kurt!" I heard my dad yell as he came into my room carrying a tray of food. "Carol made you some lunch."

"Thanks," I said as he sat the tray on my night stand. There was a pamphlet on the tray as well. I picked it up looking up at him.

He answered my questioning look "That is a pamphlet on your new school: Dalto—"

"Dalton Academy, a private high school in Westerville, Ohio. They have excellent academics and most of their graduates attend Ivy League schools." I said cutting him off.

"They also have a zero-no tolerance bullying policy," Burt said with a smile.

"Westerville is a 2 hour drive, Dad. And I'd be driving back late every night and gas would be so expensive and—"

"Which is why you will be boarding," Burt said. "They have dorms there where students who have a long commute can stay."

My eyes went wide. "Boarding? But isn't the tuition there expensive enough. Plus, it's the middle of the semester. No, Dad, I can't let you do this. I'll be fine."

"Carol and I have the tuition already worked out. We talked to the principal or dean or whatever he is and he said your transfer is all in order. He just needs your answer by Friday morning," Burt sighed. "And Kurt you are not fine. I've never seen you like this. Lately, you've been in pain from getting shoved all the time. You eat even less than you normally which is basically nothing and you don't talk as often or shop. You love shopping! And now your eyes are all red, you haven't freaked out about your skin or the fact that for lunch we made you pork sausage, and you're just not you. Let me do this for you, Kurt. I want my son back to his happy self and if this school will do that then I don't care what it costs."

I smiled. "Thanks, Dad."

He got up from my bed and said, "Well, it's Tuesday so you have 3 days to pack, so you better get started kiddo."

**Blaine's POV**

I adjusted my striped tie and added more gel to my hair. I grabbed my blue blazer ready to show the new boarder around along with his family.

As I quickly jogged down the staircase, I laid eyes on the most beautiful boy I had ever seen talking to a man and woman. He wasn't in uniform so he must be the new boarder. He was wearing a white long sleeve button up with dark grey slacks. I guess it was so he wouldn't look too informal in this place. Wow. I had no idea he would be so perfect. His skin looked like porcelain and so soft. His hair was perfect and went well with those gorgeous blue eyes. Oh crap they all stopped talking and looked over here. Was I staring? No, well maybe a little, but he's just so-. No. Blaine you have to show him around.

"Hello, you must be Mr. and Mrs. Hummel. Welcome to Dalton Academy," I said with a smile. "I'm Blaine Anderson, and I will be showing you and your son around."

Please, call me Burt," said the boy's father as he held out his hand to shake mine.

I shook it firmly in agreement. I turned back to the boy who had me breathless just a few moments before and said with a sigh, "And you must be Kurt. It is wonderful to meet you."

He shook my hand and looked at me strangely. His hand was so wonderfully soft that I just didn't want to let go of it. Oh gosh, I did something strange. I'll fix it later. He will like me later. Not that I like him or he likes me. I quickly let go of Kurt's hand and turned to start the tour. I showed them the grounds covered in statues of great people who attended Dalton. We passed by both dorms: Vanderbilt and Dartholme. Burt said that Kurt would be staying in Vanderbilt, and I smiled so hard explaining that I lived there as well. We traveled through the four wings of the academic building as I explained each wing and staircase lead to different subjects. I showed them the dining hall where Kurt would be eating all of his meals. I was quickly bombarded by friends since it was dinner time on Friday so everyone was excited that the school week was finally over.

"Hey, Blaine!" Wes yelled. "I see you used extra hair gel today. What's the occasion?"

David followed and said, "Yeah, do you have a new love interest, Blaine?"

Nick and Jeff were close behind and Nick yelled, "WOW! Congratulations!"

Jeff patted Blaine on the back and said, "I'm glad a boy has _finally_ taken interest in you Blaine."

I was so angry with my friends for their rude comment and finally said, "What do you mean 'finally'? And my hair gel is at its normal ration for today and just fyi Jeff any guy would love to-"

Burt cleared his throat to remind me that they were still here.

"Right, I am currently giving a tour and this is Kurt Hummel and his family. He will be staying in our dorm," I said confidently.

Wes, David, Jeff and Nick shared a common "ooohhh" and apologized for interrupting and excused themselves to eat.

"Sorry about that. They get excited easily," I said with a blush going across my face.

"Oh no Blaine it's fine!" Mrs. Hummel assured me. "Burt and I have to be going now anyway since we already moved Kurt in."

Burt nodded in agreement. "Yeah we better hit the road. We got a two hour drive ahead of us. You be good Kurt and called me every once in a while."

"Alright, dad, I will," Kurt said as his parents walked away. His voice was so light and high pitched like an angel. It made me smile. He sighed of relief once they were gone. His lips were so cute and pink. I wonder if they are as soft as skin is. I mean if his hands were that soft his lips had to feel amazing. If only-

"Blaine," Kurt said looking straight at me with his head turned to the side with those blue eyes breaking my train of thought. "Um, I haven't had dinner yet, so, um, do you want to eat with me?"

I looked at him with my mouth slightly open. Did he have to be so cute when he asked? I haven't felt this good in a long time. "Kurt Hummel, I would love to have dinner with you."

He smiled at me. At Me! I grabbed his hand and led him to the food area. He went to the salad bar while I grabbed the juiciest burger I could find along with fries and pizza. I paid for the both of us using one of my guest meals remembering that Kurt hadn't gotten his ID card and wouldn't until Monday.

I led him to a small round table hoping we could be alone, but of course Wes and David bombarded us.

"Are you really going to eat all of that food, Blaine?" Kurt asked me in a curious manner.

Before I could answer David said, "Of course, Kurt. Being as small as Blaine, you need your nutrients. If he keeps this up, maybe one day, he'll grow."

I glared at David so hard. I hated everyone's cracks about my freaking height. I mean was I really that small?

"Hey, Blaine. Hey Kurt," said Wes with a smile. "Geez Blaine aren't you going to introduce us properly?"

"Oh how rude of me," I said, my voice very monotone and laced with sarcasm. "These are my two good friends Wes and David. They live in our dorm."

"Nice to meet you, Kurt," David said with a half smile. "I am actually the student residential assistant of the dorm, so if you are having any problems let me know, okay?"

"And let me know too!" I interrupted slightly jealous of the way Kurt was looking at David so thankfully.

Wes looked at me strangely and said, "…why would Kurt let you know if he was having dorm room problems?"

Crap. I can't say because I think he's the most beautiful creature in the world and would love to spend some time with him and that he could talk to me about anything. "Oh you know," I said slowly, "So we can talk and get to know each other and maybe become friends and all that."

"Oh…" David said slowly, "I see."

Kurt laughed. "Thanks David I will let you know. And Blaine I will let you know too and I would be delighted to be your friend."

Did he just say what I think he said? He would be delighted to be my friend. I sighed full of happiness staring off into space. I would have to show him my favorite place to get coffee. Does he drink coffee? I can't wait to talk to him more with his voice being so lovely and all. I heard laughter and tuned back into the conversation. I saw that a blonde and a dark haired boy had sat down at our table next to Kurt.

"Wait when did Jeff and Nick get here?" I asked confused.

David laughed and Wes slightly answered, " They got here like 10 minutes ago where were you?"

"Jeff was just explaining his new Justin Bieber haircut as a part of his plan to 'get some' this year," David managed to get out only laughing a little bit.

Wes said, "Oh you left out the best part," to David. Wes turned to me and said, "After Jeff explained that everyone loved Bieber, he did the famous Bieber hair flip and then Kurt asked 'So are all of you gay?'" Then the table erupted with laughter. Even Nick cracked a smile on his face and he was never happy.

I laughed saying to Kurt, "Umm no. I mean I am but these guys aren't. Wes and David have girlfriends: Emily and Caroline. Jeff and Nick are straight but single."

"Please, single is the way to be Kurt," Jeff said as wrapped his arm around Kurt. "Plus I'm more of a lady's man. Relationships aren't for me."

"Are you sure that's the reason you aren't in a relationship, Jeff?" asked David.

Everyone laughed. I noticed that Kurt winced a little bit when Jeff put his hand around his shoulder. I wonder what that was about. Kurt got up quickly saying he needed to finish unpacking or something and that he would see us later. He was in such a rush to leave that I wondered what was going on in that head of his.

I zoned back in and realized everyone was staring at me. "What?" I asked.

"Yep, Wes, you were right he's got it bad," David said.

Wes smiled and said, "Told ya so."

"You got bit by the love bug hard," Jeff said as he shook his head.

"Can someone please tell what is going on?" I asked confused.

"Kurt," David answered, "you like him don't you?"

Well hell. Had I really been _that_ obvious? Sure I stared at his captivating eyes a little longer than I should have and thought about his skin and maybe I did hang on every word that came out those adorable lips of his. "Shit, you're right!" I yelled. My head fell in my hands. "I have a crush on Kurt."

They all "awed" and threw fries at me. "Don't worry, Blaine," said Wes, "we got your back."

"Yeah! We could always come up with a plan to get you two together," said Jeff.

"No," David said, "we are not doing one of your plans, Jeff."

"Yeah," I said sadly. "Plus I bet he didn't even pay much attention to me. I mean it's a new school, new friends, and new everything."

"Don't worry too much about it, Blaine," assured Wes. "Come on let's go. I'll bake you a chocolate cake in the dorm kitchen."

I smiled and followed them out. Great. If these guys noticed, then, of course, Kurt did. Maybe that's why he left so fast. I wonder where he is now.


	2. Jealous

**Kurt's POV**

I can't believe I found my dorm again. Blaine is a really good tour guide. I mean sure his voice was so sultry and I repeated everything he said in my head but still. He probably doesn't even think of me in that way, or any way for that matter. We just met today, but I get the feeling that he was staring at me too when he was coming down that staircase to start the tour. But maybe I was just doing that slow motion thing like in movies where the beautiful girl comes down the stairs in her dress before prom and some sappy 90s love song plays. Either way those golden brown eyes were to die for.

I know I brought my phone with me. I just can't remember where I put it. If I had friends, then, I could just wait for one of them to call me and hope I hear it ring. But I don't have any friends that would call and ask me how the move in went and everything. I sighed and went into the bathroom.

I unbuttoned my shirt and took my right arm out exposing the grotesque bite marks and bruise Karofsky had given me. I re-bandaged it and cleaned it up a little bit. I got the bruise Monday and now it's Friday and it still hurts and still bleeds a bit. It's disgusting; it's like he marked me. Everything happened so fast. It's best I just don't think about it. I still haven't told anyone what happened. They just think he beat me up or something like that. I just can't tell anyone. I'm sure Blaine wouldn't wanna date me if he found out about it either. He deserves better than me.

I heard a commotion down the hallway. I go see that it's Wes in a white apron with pink flowers on it and David and Blaine sitting at a table next to a boy with a strong chin and dark brown hair like Nick's.

"I'm just saying," Blaine said, "if Harry got into a fight with superman, then, Harry would be the victor."

"Hey, Kurt," Wes said. Then everyone turned around and stared at me.

"I didn't mean to interrupt! I just heard the noise and wondered what it was," I said.

"I'm baking a cake!" Wes shouted proudly showing me the bowl and spoon.

"And it's just us being, well, us," the dark haired boy said with a smile. "I'm Thad by the way. I room with Blaine just down the hall from you, looks like."

I smiled at this. He lived so close by. "Nice to meet you Thad," I managed to say and took a seat at the table in between David and Blaine.

We ended up continuing their discussion about Harry Potter versus Superman, then Harry Potter versus Batman, then Harry Potter versus Spiderman while Wes finished mixing the cake batter. I was beginning to think Blaine had some sort of obsession, but I didn't question it. The discussion quickly changed back to school and such, which I dreaded.

"Kurt, if you don't mind me asking, it's the middle of the first semester," Thad said. "what made you decide to transfer?"

My smile disappeared and I wiggled my hands in my lap looking down at them. "I, um, got bullied a lot at my old school for being gay, so my parents thought it would be safer here because of the no tolerance bullying policy," I explained looking at my hands.

I felt a hand on top of mine and looked up straight into a pair of sympathetic, honey-colored eyes. "Me too," he said understandingly. It made me feel like I wasn't alone for the first time ever. I finally had someone I could talk to.

"Nobody will ever hurt you here Kurt," David said. "If they do, we're here for you."

"Yeah!" Wes shouted as he threw his arm up that had the cake batter spoon in it, so of course he got chocolate on his face.

I laughed at him and thanked them.

Wes reaches his tongue out as far as he can in hopes to get the chocolate off of his cheek. "Am I close? Am I getting it?" he asked, positive that he was close. We all laugh. David stands up leans over, grabs Wes's chin pulling it up, and licks the chocolate cake batter off of his cheek. A large smiled stretched across Wes's face. "There," said David, "All clean."

Were these boys really straight? I highly doubt it, but they say they have girlfriends. Thad laughed again and said, "Yeah, if I didn't know any better I would think you two were in love with each other."

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Thad on that one," I said.

David laughed, "Sorry to disappoint you guys, but as hot as we are, we are definitely straight."

"Darn," Thad and I said simultaneously and laughed.

A security guard came in asking for a Kurt Hummel. Crap that's me.

"I'm Kurt Hummel….what can I do for you?" I asked hesitantly.

"There's a young man, or at least I think he's young. He's rather tall. Anyway, he is downstairs for you and He says his name's Finn and he needs to see ya," explained the security guard.

I sighed and stood up telling the boys that I would see them tomorrow and followed the security guard to the front desk. I signed Finn in and gave him a visitor's pass while completely ignoring his protests of "Kurt, why aren't you answering me?" Blah. Blah. Blah.

I unlock my door and close it and say, "What do you want Finn?"

"Dude, don't look at me like that I was worried," he said looking away.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Cus you haven't been answering my phone calls and I thought that maybe something happened or something…" he trailed off.

"Oh," I said smiling, "thanks for worrying about me Finn, but I actually just lost my phone somewhere in my room."

"Oh," he said embarrassed. "So how is everything here?"

I sighed and sat on the bed and he sat at the desk looking at me intently. I told him about the tour and how much I loved that I didn't have a roommate. He stood up quickly and so did I giving him a questioning look. He hugged me tightly too tightly. I groaned in pain. He let go shocked.

"Kurt, are you okay?" he asked worried.

"Yeah, of course," I lied. The bruises on my back stung from the locker shoves and my shoulder was killing me, but Finn didn't need to know that.

"Kurt, I know you're lying to me," Finn said looking at the floor. "Please talk to me Kurt. I mean you haven't really said a word to me since that day in the locker room. You haven't been you, Kurt. When I walked in it looked like his was …I don't know…. It just didn't look like him beating you up."

I started tearing up. "What did he do to you, Kurt?" he asked me. I looked away.

"He kissed me and stuff," I answered.

"What do you mean and stuff?" Finn pushed.

I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing was coming out. Finn looked so angry. I guess I had to show him. I slowly unbuttoned my shirt showing Finn the bite marks on my shoulder. Finn gasped a bit as I sat back down on the bed and he returned to his chair with his head in his hands. We sat silently for a while.

"Kurt," said Finn suddenly, "so that's what the nightmares have been about? That bastard! ….what are you gonna do about them here? You know you can call me and we can talk until you fall asleep and I—"

"Thanks, Finn," I smiled cutting him off. That's right Finn had been waking me up at night when I had them and helping me fall back to sleep. What _was_ I going to do here without him? Then I realized that I'm safe here. "I don't think I'll have them anymore here. I feel safer here than I've ever felt at home."

Finn rolled in my desk chair toward the bed until he was right in front of me. "That's my fault that you never felt safe. Kurt, I know I may not have been the best brother while we were at McKinley, but I want to make up for it. I mean I can't do much while you are so far away, but I'll always be here for you. I'll be here in a heartbeat if you need me okay?"

I don't know when I started crying again, but I was and all I could do was nod. I leaned foward and hugged him and he hugged me back more gently than the first time. Then, there was a knock on the door. I quickly withdrew from Finn's embrace and held my shirt closed at the collar with both hands careful to hide my bruises. Finn looked at me and yelled, "Come in!" for me.

"Hey, I'm David, Kurt's student RA. I'm sorry but visitation hours are up so I'm going to have to ask you to leave," said David.

"Okay, thanks," Finn replied reluctantly as he started to get up from the chair.

I guess I panicked because I let go of my shirt with one hand and I clutched onto the back of Finn's shirt as he turned away from me, still holding the collar of my shirt closed with the other hand. I looked down at the floor and asked, "Can he stay…please? Can he…stay with me?" I bet I sounded pathetic and of course David would say no.

"Sure, Kurt, sure," I heard David say and then I heard the door close.

"I'm sorry I just I don't know," I trailed off.

I felt Finn move so I let go of him and he sat on the bed next to me. "Kurt, it's fine. I'll call Burt and tell him I'm staying with you." I watched him smile. "Plus, I'm your big brother, Kurt, it's what I'm supposed to do."

"Thank, Finn," I said wiping away my tears. "but Finn I get that you wanna be my protector and such but I'm older than you so technically I'm the big brother."

Finn laughed. "No, Kurt, I didn't mean in age. I mean you're so small and fragile and I'm so much taller and bigger than you so I'm the big brother."

We laughed together. He called Burt and afterwards we just talked. We talked about everything really until we fell asleep. I even told him about Blaine. It was nice. I had a big brother, a protector, and a friend all in one. Finally.

**Blaine POV**

Well, it's 10:30pm. Room check is fun and awful at the same time. I mean was it necessary for them to make sure we hadn't escaped the building every night? It's kind of annoying that we all have to stand outside of our doors at 10:30p.m., but the adult RA usually doesn't get here until 11pm. It's stupid but, room check also means horse races! Thad was the referee, David and Jeff were the horses, and Wes and Nick were their riders. I mean sure it's the same thing as piggy back riding, but we call it horse racing because we're not five. I normally bet on Jeff and Nick, but I knew Jeff's new hairdo would obstruct his eye sight so he wouldn't be as fast.

"Riders, you will ride your horse to the end of the hallway and back. Whoever passes Blaine, aka the finish line, first, wins! Do you understand the rules?" Thad asked.

Everyone yelled, "Yeah!" at the same time and Wes explained to David that horses can't talk. David had a goofy grin on his face. I'm starting to regret betting on them.

"Riders, mount your horses!" yelled Thad.

I looked up from the floor at Thad with a smile. "Really, Thad, of all the words you could have chosen that's what you chose? You're ridiculous."

He just smiled back at me. Jeff bent down and let Nick carefully wrap his arms around his neck and hoisted him onto his back as he stood up. David started to bend down to do the same for Wes, but he looked beside him and noticed Wes wasn't there. I saw Wes a few doors down and, then, he started to run towards David. Wes jumped and straddled David's back wrapping his arms so tightly around David's neck that I don't think he could breathe. I saw Wes whispered something in David's ear that made his legs falter a bit.

"Okay, we're ready now!" said Wes with a smile. David was still looking down. He looked flustered. Shit, they're gonna lose.

"Ready, Set, Go!" Thad shouted and quickly moved out of the way as Jeff charged forward holding Nick tightly. "David, it's started. Go!"

"Crap," David whispered. I sighed as he finally got out of his trans and tried to catch up with Nick and Jeff. Of course, my team lost. I'll never put my faith in them again. Not only did I lose a bag of chocolate to Thad, but I had to watch Jeff's victory dance. It looked similar to a twitchy version of The Time Warp with an extra pelvic thrust, of course. It was just so disturbing.

"Sorry, we lost, Blaine," Wes said patting my shoulder.

"Oh, no, it's cool," I said. "But, um, what did you say to David that made him get all weird?"

Wes just smiled and walked away from me saying, "Oh nothing important."

For once I was so happy when the RA showed up cutting off Jeff's dancing. He called all of our names from the end of the hall and we waved at him to let him know we were there. When he got to Kurt, he looked at the clip board like he was reading something. I watched him open the door and look in. He scribbled something down and then left the hallway. I guess Kurt had fallen asleep after his guest left him.

I barely got any sleeping thinking about Kurt and who his mystery guest was. Nick and Jeff kept me up later, anyway, discussing using a headband next time for Jeff's new hair because they can't always rely on Wes to fluster David. I really wasn't paying attention to their rambles. All I know is today we are going shopping for a headband and then possibly eating. My job is to wake up Kurt and drag him along.

I checked to make sure I had everything and decided to wear my lucky Converses today along with a white v-neck and some black jeans. I headed down the hall and knocked on Kurt's door. No one answered. I opened it slowly and said I was coming in and there he was sound asleep still in yesterday's clothing. He was curled up on his side with his shirt mostly unbuttoned and untucked. He had one hand on his pillow and the other to his chest. His lips were parted slightly and I could hear him breathing. It was the cutest thing ever. I didn't want to wake him. I reached down to brush a hair out of his face and I heard the bathroom door swing open.

"Who are you?" asked the rather tall boy and he rushed to Kurt's side.

"I'm Blaine," I said. "Who are you?"

The boy let out a sigh of relief, which confused me, as he sat on the bed next to Kurt. "Oh, I'm Finn," he said stretching out his hand, "nice to meet you."

I shook his hand and heard Kurt stir from his sleep. I looked over and he sat up, eyes still closed and let out a big yawn from his small frame. I smiled so hard. He was just so cute. "Finn, what's going on?" Kurt asked as he leaned onto Finn's shoulder. I frowned.

"Blaine's here," Finn said. Kurt's eyes shot wide open in panic.

"Blaine," Kurt asked, "what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Jeff, Nick, Wes, David, and I are going to the mall later and wanted to know if you would like to join us," I explained still looking at the way Kurt was leaning on the taller boy. Who was he to Kurt?

"Yeah, sure!" Kurt said excitedly. "I'd love to go."

"Now you've done it," Finn said. "Kurt will shop you to death if you let him."

Kurt playfully pushed Finn saying, "Shut up!" They both smiled. I couldn't watch this anymore. I told them I'd see them later and I left quickly.

I went to Wes and David's room and beat on the door furiously. After a few knocks, I just opened the door and turned on the light. Wes sat up instantly. "It's so early," he whined.

"Why are you in David's bed?" I asked confused.

"I got cold and lonely so David let me sleep with him," Wes answered cheerfully.

"Wes, go back to sleep," David mumbled in his sleep.

"I can't. Blaine's here," Wes said sadly. "And he doesn't look too happy."

David yawned, sitting up looking at me with an irritated look on his face. "What's up, Blaine? What is it that you want at 9:30 in the morning?" Wes sensed David's irritation so he hugged him.

"A. we're supposed to go shopping today and B. why didn't you tell me that Kurt's guest from last night stayed the night with him?" I asked angrily.

Wes let go of David. "Wait, what? Kurt had a boy over? Maybe it was his boyfriend or something."

Oh no. What if it was Kurt's boyfriend or something? Surely, if he had a boyfriend he would have mentioned him by now. They did seem pretty close.

"It's really none of anyone's business, but yes," David answered. "Kurt asked me to let him stay. Kurt looked pretty upset about something so I let his guy stay with him."

"What do you mean 'his guy'?" I shouted. "Did he say that guy was his boyfriend? What were they doing? Why was he upset? Why didn't you—"

"Blaine, stop!" David yelled. "I know you have a crush on Kurt, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you but it wasn't my business. No, he didn't say the guy was his boyfriend. They looked like they were talking….I guess. I don't know. Kurt's shirt was open and he was holding it pretty tightly closed when I got in. Sorry Blaine."

Damn it. Kurt was taken. It makes sense. How could someone so captivating not be taken? "It's fine, David," I finally said. "I was being naive to think that he didn't already have someone. I'm gonna go back to my room."

I opened their door to leave and Jeff was standing outside the door about to knock, clad only in a pair of green boxers. "What's all the commotion, kids?" he asked, eyes still closed.

"Nothing," David said. "Well, since we're all up, we might as well get ready to shop for this ridiculous headband."

"Good idea," Jeff said. He looked back at his doorway and yelled, "You cool with that, Nick?"

I looked at the doorway to see Nick slowly creeping out of the dark room and to nod at Jeff.

"Yaye!" yelled Wes. "We'll meet up in Kurt's room at noon sharp!"

"M'kay," we all said.

Jeff headed back to his room. As I closed their door, I heard Wes scream something about getting the first shower and David groaning. I got back to my room and there was a note on my nightstand.

_Blaine, _

_You wake me up, you die._

_Love,_

_Thad_

I look over to see him sleeping peacefully, so I grab a book and head down the main lobby in hopes to keep myself alive. I kept opening and closing the book. I couldn't stop thinking about Kurt and his…boyfriend. I hated the thought of someone else with him. I shook my head hoping to rid myself of thoughts of Kurt and started reading "The Woes of Mrs. Weasley." I think the fifth Harry Potter book is my absolute favorite out of the seven.

As I got through a few more chapters, I saw Kurt and Finn coming down the stairs. It made me a little sick. I don't know how long it would take me to get over this boy. I guess they didn't see me on the couch because I was lying down. I couldn't make out everything they were saying, but I did hear Kurt tell the other boy to call him when he got home safely. I looked up from the couch to see the taller boy hug Kurt tightly. The taller boy left and Kurt stood and watched until his car left the parking lot.

Great. Kurt loved this kid. I was thankfully taken out of my thoughts by the loudness of Wes, David, Nick, and Jeff running down the stairs scaring Kurt.

"Hey, Kurt," Wes said, "we went to your room, but you weren't there. So we came down here!"

Kurt smiled, "Yeah, Blaine told me the plan. I'm ready to go, but where's Blaine?"

Crap. Now he's gonna know that I was lying here the whole time like a creeper. I was reading. Maybe I could pretend to be asleep or something. I look up from the book in my hand to see Jeff looking down at me.

"Hey, guys," he yelled. "He's over here reading Harry Potter. He probably didn't even notice we were here. You know, since he's _obsessed_."

"I am not obsessed," I explained. "I just appreciate a good book."

"Psh, yeah, whatever," David said. "You're obsessed. Come on, let's go to the mall."

Well, I hope Kurt bought Jeff's explanation because if not then I'll never get a chance with the boy unless he is into creepers which I'm not. I was just eavesdropping when the situation presented itself to me while I was innocently reading. That is my defense.

We piled into Jeff's SUV, or Bessie, as Jeff like to call it. Kurt marveled at how large it was, and I didn't blame him. The thing was monstrous and white. It could hold seven people plus the driver. David sat in the very back by himself wanting to lie down to stretch his long legs. Nick automatically got shotgun so, Wes, Kurt, and I were squished together. Kurt's hand brushed my hip frequently while he struggled to buckle his seat belt. This was going to be a long car ride.


	3. The Mall

**WARNING: triggering for abuse self harm**

**Nick's POV**

When we got to the mall, Kurt nearly fell out of the SUV because it was higher from the ground than he remembered. Blaine caught him quickly and they both blushed. Normally that kind of romance would make me sick to my stomach, but for some reason, it was cute coming from them.

We were supposed to just be there for a headband, but we all ended up wanting to get other things as well. Kurt looked so excited to be shopping. I could tell that there were so many things going on in his head, but he kept them to himself. He walked a bit slower than the rest of us, taking everything in. I think it might have been his first time in this mall because when we told him about there being three floors, he looked as if he would faint. He, also, was trying really hard to keep his distance from us. He looked so uncomfortable when we squeezed on the elevator together. We weren't even touching, but I think that if I had touched him, he might have had a heart attack or something. It was so strange; his eyes were filled with such fear.

It was definitely Jeff's personal mission to get us kicked out of every store we went to. We were a bunch of guys looking for a headband so, we needed a female worker to help us out with this. Who knew there were so many different types of headbands? Jeff, of course, hit on every single one thus getting us kicked out of various stores. Yeah, Jeff is and has always been my best friend for as long as I can remember, but, sometimes, he's an idiot. His pick-up lines ranged from "Your dad must be an amazing baker, because your buns look delicious" to the classic "Hey, it's hot in here; that must be you, baby." Honestly, if I were those girls, I would have call security and slapped him in the face, not just the latter.

After the 9th store, we were all getting pretty irritated. "Really, Jeff?" Blaine asked. "Is it necessary to hit on everyone? What could you possibly see in every single one of those women?"

"Blaine," Jeff answered, "your gayness will never let you understand the beauty of breasts. They're just so wonderful."

"Is he serious?" Blaine asked me.

"Unfortunately, yes," I answered, "yes, he is."

"Where's Kurt?" Blaine said. I whipped my head around looking for the small boy. He was staring through the window of some place we recently passed.

We all walked over to Kurt who looked happy. He was smiling at the mannequin while his eyes traced its clothes from the loose button up shirt down to the shoes. "These pants are Alexander McQueen cargo wool trousers with a light grey coloring. The attachment of brown suspenders goes perfectly with the white shirt. I think this is from his fall and winter collection of 2009," he let out a sigh. "And they're here in this store."

"I see that you kind of like fashion," I teased getting him out of his trans.

"Um, yeah, I do," he answered looking down.

David was eying a mannequin further down and then looking at Blaine and then back at the mannequin. "Hey, Blaine," he asked, "are you a fan of this McQueen guy too?"

"Yes," Blaine scoffed, "I'm 'a fan of this McQueen guy.' Of course, you wouldn't know who he is. Why do you ask?"

"'Cause this model wears his pants like you," David answered. "You know how you do that thing where you roll your pants up a bit to show your ankles, or wear pants that are just too short for you?"

"Oh my gosh," Wes said, "you're right! This thing looks just like you, Blaine"

"Yeah," Blaine said, "he's why I do it. Plus, it shows off my killer socks and sexy ankles."

Jeff had his hand on his chin in deep thought staring at another mannequin. "I don't think I trust this McQueen guy. I mean look at this mannequin. He looks like that sketch I drew of Mr. Hyde for English. Remember the one about how I pictured Hyde looking right before he flogged the hell out of somebody?" I had to agree with him there. The mannequin was wearing an all black suit. It had a hat, a bow tie, a suit jacket, buttoned all the way up, that reached just above his knees and slim fitting slacks. To complete the look it was wearing black leather gloves, and they had placed a cane in its hand.

"Yeah, this one is pretty creepy," Wes agreed walking back over to David.

"I don't remember the before sketches, but I do remember the ones you drew of him flogging people," I answered and Jeff smiled.

"Oh, yeah," David said. "I'm pretty sure Ms. Hardwick will be scarred for life. Weren't the beatings in the form of a flip book of some sorts?"

"Yes, they were. If she didn't want to be shocked, then she shouldn't have offered me extra credit in the form of art," Jeff said proudly.

The boys started to walk away, but Kurt still stood in front of the glass smiling at the mannequins. "Hey, guys," I said. "Why don't you guys continue to look for a headband while I head in here with Kurt? I need a new dress shirt for that scholarship brunch I have coming up. I'm sure Kurt could help me find something to make me look good."

"Yeah," Jeff said, "I forgot about that. Kurt get him some pants, too, and a tie."

Kurt smiled and said "Sure."

Blaine opened his mouth to say something but was cut off when Jeff put his arm around him dragging him in the other direction. "We'll meet up later at the food court. See ya later!" David yelled.

I opened the door, looking at Kurt. "After you," I said, holding out my hand like a proper gentleman. I'm sure Kurt was used to it. Sure, he could probably take care of himself, but he was so pale and tiny. He looked so lost sometimes and unsure. I understood that feeling of not knowing if you could trust anyone around you so, maybe, I could help Kurt. Looking at him just reminded me of the old me.

"Sir, how may we be of assistance?" a brunette woman asked, standing next to a red head.

I turned to Kurt. "Um, Kurt, what do you—"

Kurt turned to the brunette. "He'll need a pair slim fitting grey slacks with well-defined creases that stop short just above his shoes, which shouldn't be too hard to find for someone of his height. Also, he will need a pastel pink button up or something of a light pistachio green to bring out the bits of green in his eyes. A vest would be an interesting combination as well, as long as it matches. While you two look for that, I'll work on finding a tie for him."

I was very shocked at how fast Kurt was speaking. He wasn't even looking at me. Had he pictured dressing me before or something? No, that'd be weird. He must really be into fashion design. I can't believe he knows my eye color either. When did he have the time to notice that? I'm starting to think that I bit off more than I can chew with this whole letting him dress me thing.

I gave the girls my measurements, and they quickly started digging through the racks of clothing searching for Kurt's detailed requests. I followed Kurt over to the ties, and he had several different ones picked out already. "You know, Kurt," I said, "you should try on something too."

He smiled still looking at the ties. "It'd only be torture. I'd never be able to afford any of this stuff."

"So?" I asked. "Just do it for fun. Plus, I know you'd like to try on something from the McQueen collection."

Before Kurt could reply, the two workers returned with the clothes: two pairs of grey slacks, a pink shirt, a green shirt, and a vest. "Here, you are, sir," the red head said handing me the clothes. "Now, will there be anything for you as well, sir?" she asked Kurt.

"Yes," I answered for him, "he'll try those wool grey cargo pants in the window."

"Alright," the brunette smiled. "I'll be right back."

"Well, now you have to try them on," I grinned at him. "I'll be in the fitting rooms. I'll show you everything when you get back there."

There were so many fitting rooms, and the mirrors at the end of the hallway aided in my indecisiveness to pick a room. I ended up picking one near the entry way, so I could escape quickly in case of a fire or something. I know my logic for picking that room was completely fucked up, but I like to be prepared for the absolute worst. Things usually go in that direction when I'm involved so I can't be too careful.

I changed into the grey slacks and the green shirt. I looked in the mirror while tracing the scars on my stomach; the ones that the old me had left. I always say that these scars are remnants of the old me, but they're not. No, I haven't changed much at all. Yeah, it's been a long time since I actually cut myself, but I think about it all the time lately, just taking razor to my flesh and slicing it open. It's so hard not to. Jeff always said I should just talk to him about it, but I don't want to talk to him or anyone. He thinks it's just all the stress I'm constantly under, but it's not. It's more than that. I hated and still hate getting up, going to classes, and going to meetings and brunches about scholarships. I wish I could just lay there in bed all damned day and night until I rotted to death, but I couldn't. It would kill Jeff to see me that way, and I owe him so much. But I don't think I can keep pretending I'm okay. I need something to make me stronger and I think that if I started cutting again, I would be okay. Somehow, it gave me confidence to go out and face the world. Made me feel invincible some days. It sounds silly, but it did. It wasn't even the pain that was the best part. It was the fact that when I did do it, blood would just come rushing out, flowing down my skin. I was human and like every other human, I bled. I used to feel so worthless some days, like I wasn't a part of the human race. I was just some hideous thing sucking up air and wasting space. Cutting reminded me that I belonged and whether I felt like it or not, I was a person so I must matter.

I looked away from the mirror closing my eyes and sighing. I buttoned up my shirt covering up my thoughts. I threw on the vest and started fumbling with the buttons, or maybe I was supposed to zip it first. I heard a door close and assumed it was Kurt. I walked down the hall trying to find his room. "Hey, Kurt," I yelled into a door. "Is that you in there?"

"Yeah!" he yelled back.

"Cool," I said as I opened the door. "I was wondering if you could help me with this vest. I'm not sure if it zips first or buttons first or if the buttons even button. Maybe they..." As the door snapped shut behind, Kurt gasped and turned around. He grabbed a shirt pulling it over his head as fast as he could, but I had already seen what he was trying to hide. He had this grotesque bruise on his shoulder, along with bite marks. I don't know if the bruise was just that horrible or if the bite was becoming infected, but it was so purple and black. It overtook his entire shoulder and part of his collar bone.

"Please, don't tell anyone," Kurt begged in a whisper. "Please?"

My eyes snapped up from his covered shoulder to his eyes. They were full of fear and pain. Was he really that afraid that I'd tell someone? His eyes started to fill with tears. I know that terrified, pleading look. It was like looking at my reflection.

_Flashback_

_The smell of Scotch filled my nostrils as I entered the house. Maybe if I'm quiet, he won't find me, or notice that I'm here. I slowly took off my shoes and started to tiptoe up the stairs. I felt something hit me in the back my head. I slipped, falling down the few steps I had managed to climb. I heard glass crunching under me as I fell. He must have thrown his glass at me. I landed on my stomach. I started to get up while looking up seeing my father, still in his suit from work._

"_Where have you been?" he slurred._

"_I was studying at Jeff's house," I said weakly as I stood back up, looking down._

"_You're always over there!" he yelled. "What? You don't like my house? Come home more."_

"_Yes, sir," I said._

"_You know what today is," he asked me while taking a sip from the bottle that was in his hand. "It's our anniversary, me and your mom's. We can't celebrate it together though. Do you know why?"_

_I kept my eyes on the floor not saying a word. "Answer me!" he yelled swinging his fist into my jaw. _

"_I don't know," I said, letting the blood run down the side of my mouth._

_He punched me in the stomach, and I fell to my knees. "Because you killed her! You murdered my beautiful wife. I loved her," he cried. _

"_I loved her, too," I whispered. He bent down in my face, and the smell was awful. I looked at him and I saw tears. He looked so sad, then, he stood back up slowly. I looked up at him and he kicked me hard in the stomach._

"_You didn't even know her!" he shouted adding another kick. "The doctor told me that my wife didn't make it, and, then, he just handed me you like that made it all better. Here ya go! Here's your worthless kid."_

_He kicked me in the chest over and over again. "I'm sorry," I pleaded. "Please, stop. Please!" I couldn't breathe properly anymore. I was wheezing. _

_End Flashback_

"NICK!" Kurt shouted, shaking me. I was on the floor, on my knees.

"What happened?" I asked looking at Kurt.

"I don't know," he answered. "You looked off into space and, then you fell asking me to stop. What were you talking about?"

"Oh," I said, "nothing just…nothing."

We stood staring at each other. "So," I said, "how did you get that bruise?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he replied.

"If it was that Finn guy, you have to tell somebody," I said looking at Kurt concerned.

"Finn would never hurt me," Kurt said shocked.

"Look, Kurt, I know you might love him or whatever, but you can't let your boyfriend do that stuff to you," I said shaking my head.

"Boyfriend?" Kurt asked, confused. "Finn's my brother! He saved me from him! The guy who…"

"Oh," I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm sorry that someone did that to you. Did you know him well?"

Kurt looked away from me. "No, not really, he went to my old school. He used to bully me a lot. What about you? Who did you think I was when you were asking me to stop?"

I let out a sigh and looked away from Kurt. "My dad." Kurt looked at me completely worried. "Don't worry, it's over now, Kurt. Um, Kurt your shoulder looks like it might be getting infected or something. You should go and get it looked it at."

He just looked down and shook his head. "Okay," I said, "but if it gets any worse you have to go to the doctor or at least let me know so we can figure something out. I would hate for you to lose your arm."

He laughed. "Only if you promise not to tell."

I smiled. "Deal. I think those pants look good on you."

"I like the pants and the shirt you have on," Kurt said, "but not the vest. I think they will do with just a simple tie."

"Thanks," I said smiling. "Now let's get dressed and check out."

We both got done getting dressed about the same time. The workers asked what we wanted to be put back, and I saw Kurt about to give them those cargo pants he so desperately wanted. "No, don't take those. He's getting them." She smiled and took them to the register along with my new outfit.

"Just put it all together," I said while pulling out my wallet.

"Nick, what are you doing?" Kurt whispered. I sshed him while I paid. I got a text from Jeff that said they were at the food court, but it was from a while ago. I hurried out of the store with Kurt.

"Nick, why'd you buy those for me?" Kurt asked.

"I had to buy you an apology gift," I said handing Kurt his bag. "You know, for walking in on you like that. Oh, and, um, could you keep my little meltdown a secret? I don't want anyone to worry. Plus, I wouldn't want Blaine getting all jealous on me."

"Why would Blaine be jealous?" Kurt asked.

"Because I got to see you half naked before him," I replied smiling. Kurt stopped walking and blushed. I guess that meant that Kurt probably liked Blaine, too. I'm glad. Kurt needs a good guy like him. I really hoped Kurt would keep my secret though, and I think he is equally worried that I won't keep his. I really hope I can trust him.

**Jeff's POV**

It took forever for Nick and Kurt to get the food court, and they both announced that they weren't hungry. I thought that was strange because we didn't have breakfast before we got here. We decided to grab some Chinese food because they were so persistence about passing out those little samples of sweet and sour chicken on a toothpick. Plus, I was under the impression that they would have never let us leave the booth without following us and asking why we didn't want their food.

I found my way back to our table. I noticed that the two boys looked so nervous and in deep thought about something. Just what exactly happened between those two in that store? I sat close to Nick. I reached my hand up and touched his shoulder whispering, "Hey, are you alright, Nick?"

He shook my hand off his shoulder and replied, "I'm fine, just fine."

I knew that was complete bullshit, but I left it alone, for now. Nick hadn't acted like that since we were younger. I remember him showing up my door step out of breath quite often. My dad would always let him stay over, no questions asked. It was like they shared this knowing look every time. Nick never let me in, even though he claimed we were best friends. I'd always ask how he was and he would lie, telling me he was fine. It wasn't until much later that Nick told me about the beatings. I was furious. I loved Nick like a younger brother. I hated that I never came to the conclusion on my own. The more I thought about it, the more obvious it had become. Even after he got out of that house with his dad and moved in with his grandmother, he was still so distant from me. He wouldn't even come outside to play some days, saying things about how he didn't deserve friends and he wasn't worth it. He started cutting himself. The more he came outside, the more cuts he had. My dad told me that I spent too much time worrying about Nick and not myself. It worried him, but I just wanted Nick to be happy. I wanted him to feel like a normal kid. So, I made myself a promise that I'd never let that happen to my best friend again. I started paying more attention to him and help him get through everything. He stopped cutting and we made a pact to tell each other everything that was bothering us because I didn't want Nick to go back to the way he was. From that day on we were like brothers. He was finally okay in a way. We decided to just come here to Dalton, to get away from all those bad memories. Seeing Nick like this made me worry.

I was going to push and ask what happened with those two in that store, but Wes, David, and Blaine showed up. Blaine noticed Kurt's distress, so he sat next to him placing his hand on top of Kurt's rubbing it gently. Kurt snatched his hand from Blaine's grasp in such a panic that he banged his hand on the table. Instead of rubbing his hand that was clearly in pain, his other hand reached up to rub his shoulder lightly. It was so strange. I turned to Nick who let out a sigh, looking at Kurt with worried eyes. Just what had happened between those two?

"So, what kind of headband did you guys get, Jeff?" Kurt asked to break the awkward silence.

I looked back to him and showed him the thing that Wes and Blaine had convinced me was a headband. "I don't know what this thing is," I confessed. "I thought it was an elastic version of those choker necklaces girls wear, but they say it's not."

Kurt giggled a bit. I was glad to see he had relaxed some and let go of his shoulder. "Here," Kurt said as he held his hand to take the thing from me. "You put it over your head, around your neck. Then you take it and stretch it over your face, like so, pushing your bangs back with it."

He took it off and handed it back to me. "Holy, crap," I said, "it is a headband." Everyone laughed except Nick who was staring off into the distance thinking hard about something.

As we headed to the car, Kurt got a phone call from that Finn guy that stayed with him last night, much to Blaine's displeasure. The poor kid looked heartbroken, so I could only assume that Finn was Kurt's boyfriend or something. "Hey, Kurt," Nick said looking at Blaine while he got into the car, "did your brother get home okay?"

"Yeah," Kurt said, "that was him, now. He's fine. Although I'm surprised he didn't crash with his bad driving skills."

"Wait," Blaine interrupted. "Finn is your brother?"

"Yeah," Kurt said. "Did everyone think he was my boyfriend?"

"Yes!" We all said simultaneously as I started the car.

Kurt laughed. "Well, just in case you were wondering I'm single, unfortunately." Blaine smiled so brightly. Geez, did he really have to be that obvious?

"Don't worry about it," I assured him. "Everyone in this car is single except Wes and David. But it's not like they're getting any either. Their girlfriends are super Christian."

"Yup," David said, "we go to church every Sunday."

"And what do you get out of that?" I asked. "They probably just let you kiss them on the cheek and hold their hand."

"Pretty much," David said sadly. We laughed. Poor guy.

We got back to Dalton and everyone went their separate ways. I tried to get Nick to talk to me when we got to our room but he claimed he had a paper to write and threw on his headphones before I could protest. I knew that Nick couldn't possibly have any homework that wouldn't take him an hour or two to do. He usually doesn't even worry about it. I mean Nick is like a super genius. That's why we're juniors but he's already getting college scholarship offers. I let it go though. He would tell me soon just not today, I guess. I hoped he was okay and Kurt too.

I eventually started on my own homework because at Dalton that's how single guys spend their Friday nights. Writing my paper didn't interest me neither did calculus, so I drew instead. I sketched out a beach house with a wave crashing along the side of it. The sand was studded with shells and crabs. I even added a sandcastle and two kids. They looked so happy playing in the sand together. I envied the happiness I gave them along with their vacation, so I made it storm. I sighed checking the time. Nick had been in the shower for a while. I wondered if he had cut again, but it had been three years. I needed to trust that he wouldn't cut anymore, and I needed to stop worrying so much.. I mean he's fine now and everything is great. Our grades are good and, we're happy, most of the time, which is good enough for me. I think I need to stop worrying about Nick so much.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please review :) The next chapter will be in Wes and David's point of view :)  
>smiley faces = periods just fyi<p> 


	4. Church

**A/N**: I am sorry that I forgot to put a warning about the cutting in the last chapter right when I posted it. I will never forget again because from now on at the beginning of every chapter I'm just going to put a warning about all the things the story will contain. Sorry again guys! : ( Also, I have put up pictures of the actors on my profile of how I would like them to look in my story, so go have a look see.

**Warning:** This story contains sexual assault, abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and strong language.

**Chapter 4: Church**

**David's POV**

It's late. I can't stop thinking about what Wes said to me during the last horse race: "Did you like the way I mounted you, David?" I shivered. He was probably just trying to be funny, but it made me nervous, sick to my stomach nervous. I was kind of out of breath too. Maybe I'm just coming down with something. It is getting cold outside; I'll just bundle up more.

I left the bathroom, and Wes was already sleeping on top of his covers. I lifted him up and tucked him in. I didn't want him getting cold again, even though he could just move to my bed if he did get cold, like last time. I smiled as he hugged his pillow tightly. I ruffled his hair and whispered, "Good night, Wes." Before turning out the light and getting into my own bed. It was kind of empty without Wes next to me. Sure, he was like my own personal heater, but it was something more than that. I grabbed my phone to text my girlfriend, Caroline, good night, telling her to meet me here for church tomorrow.

Sunlight crept through the blinds waking me up in shock. I had overslept. I looked over to Wes's bed but he wasn't in it. He wasn't in the bathroom either. Strange. I didn't have time to figure that out. I got in the shower with my mind all over the place. I hope Caroline isn't downstairs waiting on me, along with Emily. Where the hell is Wes? Aren't we carpooling for church today? I dried off while attempting to brush my teeth. Unfortunately, I had to pause and go get clothes to put on. I put on a pair of boxers with my toothbrush hanging out of my mouth as the door busted open. "BREAKFAST!" Wes yelled, holding out coffee and a bag.

"Awesome, thanks," I said. "Is it cool if I go in the bathroom and get dressed first?"

He blushed and looked away. "Um yeah, of course. I'll just be in the uh, the room, our room that we share…"

I laughed. "Okay, Wes," I said, closing the bathroom door. Silly kid.

I threw on some black slacks and a white shirt. I opened the bathroom door. "Ta da! I got dressed all by myself." I walked over to my closet staring intently at my ties. "Hey, Wes, red or black?"

"Red!" he shouted. "So you'll look like Obama. Have you noticed that he only ever wears red ties? Anyway before you do that, you should eat," he said as he walked over to me. I turned around while tying my tie to face him opening my mouth to protest, and he shoved a bagel in my mouth.

"Stop, just stop," Wes said. "That is not how you tie a tie, silly." I looked down and realized he was right. I don't know what I did, but if I had continued, I would have looked ridiculous. Wes swatted my hands away and began fixing my mess.

"I didn't know you owned skinny ties," Wes said.

I looked down at him to see that he was still concentrating on the tie. He looks so small. He was almost as small as Blaine. I wanted to reach down and ruffle his hair, but that probably would have made him angry. I don't know what it was, but I got really warm all of a sudden. I guess it was from running around trying to get dressed so quickly. I took the bagel out of my mouth and replied, "Yeah, I normally don't, but Caroline bought it for me. She said it'd make my muscles stand out more or something."

"Yeah, it makes you look really h- " he said, pausing for a second. His face was a little red. Maybe, he was hot too. "It looks good on you," he finished. He tightened the tie around my neck and slowly ran his fingers down the tie stopping at the end. I shivered a bit. I really must be sick or something. I was hot, and now I'm cold. It's strange though because I never get sick. Wes looked up at me and smiled. "There, all done!" he said. He's such a silly kid.

"Thanks," I smiled at him, but he looked away. He went back to his desk and grabbed his coffee.

"No problem," he said. "Now, let's get downstairs. Our very patient girlfriends are waiting on us."

"Holy crap! Are they really already here?"

"Yeah, but I told them to go get something to eat and come back," Wes said.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked him frustrated.

"I tried, but then, you confused me with a pillow or something and pulled me down onto the bed. It was…interesting. I broke free and tried again, but you just wouldn't get up so, I let you sleep," he answered nervously.

"Oh, thanks for trying," I said. "Sorry, I treated you like a stuffed animal, Wes."

"It's fine," he mumbled, I think. It might have been "Any time," but I doubt that.

We got downstairs, and there they were: Emily and Caroline. Caroline ran up to me squealing like she hadn't seen me in ages.

"Sorry," she said shyly, "it's just that I really missed you is all."

"It's okay," I said, hugging her tightly. "I think you're adorable."

"Aren't they just adorable, Wesley?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, just the cutest thing ever," Wes said, dryly. I turned to make at face at his sarcastic remark, but he didn't look like he was in a joking mood. He looked rather pensive or upset for some reason. Emily must have noticed it too because she quickly grabbed both of Wes's hands and turned him to face her.

"Guess whaa-aaat?" she said to him.

"What?" he asked. "Did you finally sneak that kitten you've always wanted into the dorm?"

Emily laughed. "No, silly, I have a surprise for you after church!"

"Really?" Wes practically shouted. "I love surprises! Does it involve sweets?"

"Of course it does," Emily confirmed and smiled at him.

"Thank you!" Wes exclaimed sweeping Emily up and swinging her around. He gently placed her back on the ground, and hugged her tightly.

I smiled, staring at the two embrace each other. Wes looked so happy. Emily really was perfect for him. She was the female version of Wes. She was smart, loveable, loved Spaghetti, was a messy eater, cooked, and had this smile that just made everyone else in the room want to smile along just like Wes. Caroline grasped my hand taking me out of my thoughts.

"Well, it's time to leave you guys," Caroline said looking at her phone.

"Cool beans!" Emily said. "Alright, David you're driving Caroline, and I will be driving my adorable boyfriend Wesley."

"Um, okay," I said. "Let's go."

We arrived just in time to get our usually seats right in the middle of the church on the right side. I liked the middle. It wasn't so close to the back that the ushers could bother us about things like texting or chewing gum, and it wasn't close enough to the front to be watched by the deacons and ministers. They were so creepy. The deacons were all these really tall men in these black suits who had it in for me and Wes since we got here. I mean we aren't bad kids; it's just really hard to pay attention some days.

When the collection plate was passed around, I noticed that Wes put way more in it than he normally does. That meant he felt guilty about something. Lately, he had been putting a lot more than normal in it though. I wonder why. I would have to ask him about it later. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too personal, and he would think I was being noisy or something. I'm just worried about him like a good best friend should be. At altar call, we all stood like we normally do, but Wes went to the altar and got down on his knees and prayed. It was interesting. Normally, you see older people doing that when they are having financial troubles or family troubles. Some people do it when they are ill or going through a personal crisis. I wonder what was wrong with Wes. I didn't even close my eyes or bow my head during the actual prayer. I just stared at Wes at the altar as he whispered to God. I turned to see Emily doing the same thing as I was, staring at Wes. She looked so worried.

As the sermon began, Caroline pulled out her phone suppressing a giggle. Who could she possibly be texting? I heard a phone buzz to my right and turned to see that it's Emily's sidekick, of course. I let out a sigh and rubbed my forehead. Suddenly, I felt a hard pinch on the back of my right hand. I turned to see that it was Wes's hand that pinched me. I looked up at him. He had a worried look on his face, so I smiled at him to let him I was okay. I turned my attention back to the preacher, but then I was quickly distracted by Wes pinching the crap out of my hand. I opened my mouth to protest, but I remembered where we were and shut it quickly. A grin spread across Wes's face as he continued his antics. After a few more pinches, I grabbed his hand, intertwining our fingers tightly so he couldn't pinch me anymore. I held his hand as tightly as I could for the rest of service.

**Wes's POV**

When service was over, we all turned to leave, but the preacher caught up with us asking to have a word with David. It bothered me. I wonder what that could be about. I hope it wasn't because he held my hand during service or anything.

I led Caroline and Emily outside to wait for him. They talked about the new twilight movie which I tuned out completely. When David returned, he had a grin on his face so, I guess the preacher didn't scold him or anything.

"Well, I guess I'll take Caroline back while you two have fun on your date," David said grabbing Caroline's hand. We watched them until they got into David' car.

Emily bounced across the parking lot to her car. As we got in I asked, "Where are we going that has you all excited?"

"We're going to Mocha Choca Coco's!" she shouted, as she started the car.

My eyes widened with excitement. "Isn't that the really cute coffee shop that offers you teddy bears after you order? And they have the biggest pieces of cake ever!"

"Yep, that's the one," she said happily.

After we parked, I skipped happily beside Emily into the deserted coffee shop. "Cappuccino with lots of whipped cream and a large slice of red velvet cake for Wesley and a non-fat mocha latte for me," she ordered.

I smiled widely. "Wow, I'm loving this surprise. You got my favorites." She didn't smile back in that cute way she normally does. She just handed me the cake and drink, and she slowly sat down. She stared down at the cup and sighed. She looked so sad, or maybe, disappointed. I really couldn't tell.

"Look, Wes, I need you tell me something," she finally said still looking at the cup. "Do you love me?"

My eyes widened staring at her as she looked up at me. I grabbed one of her hands gently rubbing her fingers. "Yes, Emily, I love you so much. Why would you ask? We say it to each other often. I mean we've been dating for a little over a year now and—"

"Exactly, it's been a year," she said looking away from me. I didn't understand. "It's been a whole year, Wes, and nothing has changed. We still walk around holding hands nervously, and you kiss me on the cheek occasionally, but that's it. You've never been intimate with me at all! I don't even mean sex. Yeah, we've made out a few times, but you never initiated it. Even when we hold hands, it feels forced or like a chore you have to do. At first, I thought maybe I'm not pretty enough, but—"

"Em, why would you think that?" I interrupted. "You're—"

"Beautiful," she finished. "I know. You say that often too along with my mother and grandmother."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You don't say it like it's something you believe or are impressed by or anything. You just say it just to say it!" she started shouting. "Then, I realized that you would never want me the way that I want you, or love me the way that I loved you."

"What are you saying?" I asked confused by her past tense of "loved" me. "I still love you, Em. Do you not love me anymore?"

"I did, Wes, I did love you," she said looking at me with tear filled eyes. "But you don't love me. It's okay. I know. I've known for a while now, and I understand why you haven't said anything."

"I don't understand," I said.

"You love David, Wes," she said smiling, laughing even. "Isn't that what you were praying about today? It was about what to do about us and him?"

"Yeah," I said. "How did you know?"

"I've envied the way you look at him for months, now," she said looking up at me. "The way you smile when you talk about him, or worry when someone else brings his name up in conversation like they're going to say something terrible about him. I wish we had that, but we don't and never will. And that is okay. David, clearly, is oblivious to your feelings, and if you bring it up, you're afraid you'll lose his friendship."

"No," I interjected. "David would try his best to remain friends with me no matter how awkward it would be for him. That's just how he is. He'll treat me differently. We won't be able to do anything we do now. Then, we might even talk less or not at all. That's what scares me the most, you know, him just not talking to me at all."

"How long have you known?" she asked.

"Known what? That I loved David or that I was gay?" I asked.

"Both," she confirmed.

"I've loved David since we became roommates freshmen year," I said looking away smiling. "I don't know about the whole being gay thing, yet, though. I'm not really attracted to other guys. I just know that I love him."

"I'm happy you've found someone you love," she laughed. "But really? We're seniors now! He's been oblivious for like four years! How can you stand it?"

"It's getting hard, but I've come to terms with the fact that he will never love me. Not only because he's never shown interest, but he is very Christian," I said not really looking at Emily. "I mean, I am too and, yes, he's okay with gay people, but I doubt he would be okay with dating a boy and being, well, gay."

"You have a point there," she said. "But you won't know until you ask him, Wesley." She smiled.

"Why did you stay with me if you knew? And why are you okay with this?" I asked.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I guess so I wouldn't be alone. And I'm fine with you being in love with him. The heart wants what the heart wants. Plus, if some woman can marry the Eiffel Tower and be in love with it, then, I say gay people can get married too. It's stupid to deny two humans getting married over an object and a human. People are stupid and should keep their hate to themselves. Plus, I'm one of those people that believe that if you follow the first ten you're good to go. Caroline's family, however, has beaten it into her head that being gay is wrong. You know the whole the Bible says a man sleeping with another man is an abomination. So, that is what she believes."

"I'm assuming David doesn't know that about Caroline, yet," I said unsure.

"Probably not," she said, "since Caroline said he's planning on introducing her to Blaine and Thad soon."

"Jesus," I said sighing into my hands. "When did life become so complicated?"

"Don't say the Lord's name in vain, Wes," Emily scolded. "He'll send the angels to give you a receding hairline and make you go bald by your early 30's."

I laughed. "Who told you that nonsense?"

"My big sister," she said. "Her bedtime stories are the best."

I sighed. "Well, I guess this means we're over, doesn't it?"

"Yup," Emily replied. "Sorry, but I don't fancy being your beard any longer. There's this guy in my Cal II class who I'm dying to introduce myself to."

"Hey!" I protested.

"What?" she said. "You've been eying David for four years. I can eye one guy for a month or two."

"You have a point," I said. "I'm going to miss you, Em."

"Geez, Wesley," she said shocked. "It's not like I died. We can still be good friends which apparently is what we've been for a year anyway. You've got a phone. I've got a phone. Call or text me some time okay?"

"Alright," I said. "I will."

"And you had better let me know when you finally tell David how loooovve him and you want his babies," she smiled.

"Okay."

"Alright, now, that that's all settled, I'll give you a lift back to your dorm, okay?"

"Okay," I said, "and just so you know this was a horrible surprise."

By the time I got back to the room, David had already changed and started working on some homework. As soon as I had opened the door, he spun around in his chair asking how the date went.

"So, what was Emily's big surprise?" David asked, smiling. That smile somehow made it all better.

I sat on my bed and took off my shoes. "She broke up with me."

"I'm sorry, Wes," David said solemnly. "You guys were together for a year!"

"Yeah," I said, "but it was kind of a mutual thing."

"Oh," he said unsure of how to comfort me, not that needed it. "Is that what you were praying about today?"

"Yeah, just stuff about me and Emily," I told him. "I probably won't be going to church with you guys for a while either. Emily will probably want her space and all. I'm fine staying here to catch up on work and such."

"Yeah, okay," he said. "I understand."

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the complete truth either. Yeah, I wasn't sure what to tell Emily. I loved her like a good friend, but I was in love with my best friend. But, I also didn't know whether I should tell David that I love him or just keep it to myself. I don't want to ruin him. He's so perfect the way he is. I'd mess up his whole way of thinking. So, I asked God to forgive me because I couldn't return to church after that. I loved Him, but I have decided to pursue my feelings for David. I'm positive that the church will be completely unsupportive, and I don't want him to go through that. But, I did promise God that he is in my heart always. Plus, I have my Bible, and I'll be fine.

"Wes," David said, "if you want to talk about it, or anything you know I'm here for you right?"

"Yeah, David," I smiled. "I know, but for now I'm going to take a nap."

"Okay," he said worried. "I'll turn out the main light and use a lamp."

"You don't have to do that," I said, yanking off my tie.

"I want to," he said getting up. "You need a nap after today."

He turned the light off as I crawled into bed. I closed my eyes but my mind was plagued with thoughts of David. Should I tell him I love him or should I start with the fact that I might possibly be gay? Either way, will he still want to be around me? Will he want to room with me? Would his family care if I still came over to visit him? What about Caroline? He loved her didn't he? I can't get in the way of that if he does. It wouldn't be fair to him or Caroline. I can't ruin his life because of my selfishness. I could wait. I would wait. But, I've been waiting and I've grown tired of this. Whatever this was wasn't working for me anymore. I can't even look at him without blushing some days. Eventually, I will have to tell him. When? I have no idea.

**Reviews:** Anna! Thanks :) I'm glad I could write something you've been looking for.

Frances! Thank you too! I hope I didn't disappoint you with this chapter on Wes and David's inner thoughts. And hopefully Kurt will take better care of his wound so it doesn't get infected.

Thank you everyone for the reviews !


	5. Kurt's First Day

**Author****'****s ****note**: Hey guys. I'm sorry for the lack of Klaine in the last chapter. This chapter is longer than the others. I hope the Kurt and Blaine chapters will start being just a little bit shorter than this. I'm not sure, but let me know what you think through a review or a message. Thank you so much for the reviews!

**Warning:** This story contains sexual assault, abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and strong language.

**Chapter 5: Kurt's First Day**

**Kurt's POV**

Waking up is awful. I hate the sunlight, the grogginess, the morning breath, and the freshness of it all. Once I'm awake, I can feel everything as if it were a new sensation, like I was being born again. That also meant that my bruises felt new to me every morning. Every morning I would re-live the pain of Karofsky's teeth sinking into my skin. Then, my mind would rewind and replay the events leading up to that and after that. I'd go to the bathroom to shower to get my mind off of it, but then once I looked in the fogged up mirror, the memories resurfaced. If only I could make myself forget, then maybe, just maybe I could finally be okay with people being so close to me. I don't want them to stay away. I don't like being alone. I like having friends, but it's difficult to make new friends when you don't want them touching you or asking you too many questions.

I got dressed in my uniform. The grey slacks, tie, and blazer were all so new to me. I mean don't get me wrong. I love dressing up, and looking absolutely flawless, but I felt like I was wearing a suit for a job interview or a funeral or something way more important than school. I sighed staring at myself in the mirror that hung on the back of my door. I looked so tired, but at least my hair was perfect today. A cup of coffee would definitely wake me up. Even though it was only 6:30am, I still wanted to go to the cafeteria to see if they had coffee and if they were even open this early. I loved how Jeff called the cafeteria heaven for fatties. He says it should be complete with our own personal "fat Jesus," but I doubt the school would allow something so strange. I kind of agree with him though. It was huge. It had a salad bar, a fruit bar, a pizzeria, a substation, a Mexican station, a Chinese station, an ice cream machine, a desert bar, and a grill where you asked for anything that could be grilled and they'd grill it on the spot right in front of you. It was ridiculous, and the best part is that you only swipe your I.D. card once and go back for as many seconds as you could hold. It was like the world's largest buffet. It's a wonder why everyone's not fat.

I opened my door and my nose was instantly filled with the smell of coffee, glorious coffee, medium roast. I followed the smell like a lost puppy, and it led me into the kitchen. There he was, Blaine dressed in a Dalton hoodie and plaid pajamas, making the best smelling coffee ever.

"Morning," I said.

He yawned, opening his mouth extremely wide. "Morning, Kurt," he said, embarrassed. "Sorry about that. It's just so early." He yawned again.

I giggled at his effort to contain his yawn. His arms stretched out wide this time. He pulled one arm up to his face trying to cover his mouth. "It's alright. You look cute when you yawn, full force like that." I didn't say that out loud. I couldn't have. No, I didn't. The stare on Blaine's face said otherwise. He turned his head around eyes wide in shock, cheeks completely red.

"I, um, thanks," he said. I looked away from him trying to avoid his eyes, and we stood in silence for a moment.

"So," he finally said, "you're an addict."

"Excuse me?" I said confused.

"A coffee addict," he laughed. "You have to have a cup every morning or your day will be awful right?"

"Oh," I said, "well then, yes, I am. How did you know?"

"You mean besides from the way you were staring at the coffee pot when you walked in?" he asked smiling.

"Good point," I said. "I need coffee more than food or money or air."

He laughed. "Well, you're welcomed to have a cup."

"Thanks," I said as I walked over and started pouring myself a cup.

"Speaking of food," Blaine said, "Wes usually comes down around this time and cooks us all breakfast if you want to join."

"But the cafeteria is open for breakfast," I said. "Why not just go there?"

"Nobody really wants to walk across campus to the cafeteria for breakfast, especially since the school building is closer to the dorms than the cafeteria," Blaine explained.

"That makes sense, actually," I agreed, turning to face him. I noticed his hair wasn't gelled down like it normally was. It was so free and curly. I liked the way some of the dark brown curls fell on his forehead a little longer than the rest of his hair. He noticed me staring and immediately threw his hood on over his head.

"Oh my gosh," he said, turning his back towards me. "I completely forgot I hadn't gelled my hair down yet or gotten dressed. I feel ridiculous now, standing next you. You're already dressed in your uniform and everything, and I'm just a mess."

I smiled at how flustered he was. I reached out and pulled the hood off of his head. He turned around quickly to face me with a confused look on his face. "It's fine, Blaine," I said. "It's really early, so of course you're not dressed. As for your hair, I actually kind of like it better this way, rather than gelled down."

He looked down at his coffee mug blushing again. "Um, thanks, Kurt. No one's ever told me that before." He slowly looked up at me right into my eyes. I immediately blushed and turned my head. His eyes really were gorgeous. And that look he had was to die for.

Wes busted into the kitchen with a bring smile on his face. "It's cookin' time!" he shouted. He was already dressed for school and wearing a different apron over his clothing. This time it was a navy blue color. It didn't have lace or anything, but there was a white bunny with a pink bow in its ear sewn onto the front of the apron. I have got to find out where this boy gets these aprons.

"I wasn't interrupting anything," Wes asked walking over to the cabinets. "Huh? Was I? Were you two about to… ya know? Were you? Were you? Were you?"

"Oh my gosh," Blaine whispered completely embarrassed. "NO! No, Wes we weren't about to do anything."

I couldn't help but laugh. I wish we were about to do something. Wait, no I don't. I can't. I don't have time for that. I just need to get out of high school without any drama, and hopefully, nothing will happen to me again.

Nick came in fully dressed with a briefcase like bag mumbling, "Morning." He headed straight for the coffee pot. He either wasn't a morning person or just didn't get any sleep at all. He looked very neat, just tired. He waved at us without even looking as he walked out of the door.

"Don't mind him," Jeff said, coming into the kitchen yawning. "He's just got a lot on his plate right now."

"Oh," I said, concerned. "Is school really that difficult here?"

"Oh, no, Kurt," Jeff answered. "You misunderstood me. It's not the curriculum here that has him stressed, even though it is difficult. It's college stuff. Even though he and I are juniors, Nick has so many colleges after him. He constantly has meetings with them because of perfect grades."

"Yeah," Wes said, "he literally has Ivy Leagues fighting over him."

"Yup," Jeff said, "Once he picks one, he can't change his mind on them because that would show him as rude and not able to make a commitment. And he would have to maintain his perfect grades and perfect everything all the way through senior year to show consistency. It's awful. He's afraid to make any mistakes."

David had walked in while I was listening to Jeff and patted Jeff on the shoulder. "Don't worry about him. He's fine. Nick works well under pressure, and his grades will continue to be perfect because he's a super genius."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Jeff said.

"Wow," I said, finally. "I had no idea he was under so much stress." I hope it doesn't get to him. Was the flashback he had in the dressing room the other day causing him stress as well? Or maybe it was because he was stressed that he had the flashback. I'm not sure. Jeff seems so worried about him. I know I told Nick that I would keep his secret, but I'm worried about him, too. Maybe I should let Jeff know about what happened.

I felt a hand grab my shoulder. It was Blaine looking at me with troubled eyes. "Hey, don't worry about it. David's right; Nick's a super genius, so he will be fine. He really does work well under pressure."

"Oh, yeah," Jeff said looking at me while grabbing a chair. "I'm just worrying too much. We've been besties for years, so I always look out for him. You guys are right though. He'll be fine."

I was still a little worried, but they say it's normal for him to be this way. I'll take their word for it. I looked over at Wes who was happily flipping pancakes by flicking the pan up, watching the pancake flip over in the air and land perfectly in the center of the skillet. "You must really love cooking, Wes," I said smiling at him.

He continued working on breakfast and answered, "Yeah, I do! It's so much fun and takes my mind off of all this school work." He made a face in disgust at the thought of school.

I laughed. "Well, you know, if you just went to a culinary arts school, cooking would be your school work."

He suddenly stopped flicking the pan and placed it down on the stove, gripping it tightly. "Oh, no," he said, "I could never be a chef. I've already turned in my early admission application to Yale. I'm going there to study English, and then going to law school." David, who was standing next to him, ruffled his hair a bit and whispered something to him.

"Oh," I said, confused. He clearly loved cooking so, why not just be a chef? I was going to ask, but he looked upset so, I didn't pry. Plus, I was interrupted by David anyway.

"Hey, new kid," he said, turning to face me. "What's your schedule looking like this year?"

"Yeah," Jeff said. "I wanna see! You transferred in the middle of a semester so, your classes must be awful."

I pulled out my schedule from my jacket pocket. I opened it up to read it, but Jeff came out of nowhere and swiped it from hands. He ran back over to the table where David and Wes had gathered to look at my schedule. I felt a sting on my index finger, and noticed it was bleeding. Jeff must have given me a paper cut. Blaine noticed it too because he grasped my right hand, licked the blood off of my finger, and kissed it while looking up at me. "There, all better," he said with a smile.

I would have thought that was completely disgusting to lick my blood away like that, but it was Blaine, and it was completely amazing. Sure enough, I didn't feel a thing anymore. Blaine is going to make settling into this place unnoticed very difficult. I just don't want to draw too much attention to myself here. I'm sure dating Blaine would do just the opposite of that, plus he's probably just being a good friend. I've never had a good friend so, I might just be misreading his friendliness into something more. Blaine was just being nice.

"Hey, Blaine," Jeff called from the table. "I think Kurt has a class or two with you maybe lunch even!"

Blaine rushed over to the table full of excitement. "Holy crap! You're right! From lunch onward, we pretty much have the same schedule, Kurt."

I walked over to the table to see what the fuss was about. "Oh, cool, so which class after lunch don't we have together?"

"Art," he said sadly. "You have Art while I have Biology II, and we don't have any morning classes together." He put on the cutest sad face I'd ever seen.

"Don't worry about it, Blaine," I said. "We have lunch, history, algebra, and chemistry."

"Yeah, Blaine," Jeff said. "Stop hoggin' up all the Kurt time. I only get to see him at lunch if I don't have art work that needs to be finished."

"Kurt," Wes asked, slowly, "why are you in my advanced French class?"

"Oh," I said, looking away shyly, "that's because I requested a higher level French class. I'm fluent in French. They made me take a test and have a conversation in French with the teacher, and she said she was okay with having me in there."

"Wow," Blaine said surprised, "that's pretty amazing."

"Not really," I said, blushing.

"Okay, enough with all of that gushy stuff," Jeff said. "Why do you have Advanced English with Nick? You must have a pretty high ACT score in English for that."

"I just like to read," I said honestly. "I took the ACT for practice and I guess my score in English was pretty high. I requested to be in the regular English class for sophomores, but they moved me into that class after they saw it in my records. They told me it would be better."

"Weird," Blaine said, "Nick's a junior super genius and you're in his class. That's crazy."

"No, Blaine," Jeff said. "it's not. Nick's English class is one of the English classes you can take your Junior year. Nick is actually going a normal pace in his English classes."

"Ohhhh," everyone said. I, however, let out a sigh of relief. From what I heard today, there was no way I would keep up in a class with Nick.

"Aww," David said, "I'm the only one without a Kurt class."

I laughed. "A Kurt class?" I asked. "Well, you are a senior so, I didn't expect to have one with you."

"But you got one with Wes!" David whined.

"That was just chance," I said. "Don't worry, we will eat dinner together."

He smiled at that. I looked down at my watch. "Well, it's 7:30, so I'm going to head over to the academic building and try to find my class." I grabbed my schedule and bag and headed out of the door, but stopped. I looked at them and they all just sat down at the table while Wes gave them their pancakes. "Why aren't you all worried about getting to class on time? You're not even dressed."

"Theater is my 8 o'clock and it's cancelled today," Blaine said taking a sip from his coffee.

"Seniors get two whole free periods!" Wes shouted almost dropping the plate of pancakes.

David grabbed the plate from him and set it safely on the table. "Yeah, Wes and I chose to not have an 8 o'clock or a 3 o'clock."

"I'm a junior so, I only get _one_ free period, and I chose 8am so I could sleep in," Jeff answered. "But that was before I knew that Nick would have an 8 o'clock and wake me up anyway."

Thad slowly came into the kitchen wearing only green pajama bottoms and just stood in the doorway. His eyes were barely open, and he looked so angry. "Would you all, please, shut the hell up? Some people are sleeping, just F.Y.I." Then, he just turned around and left. A few seconds later we heard a door slammed.

All the boys just laughed. "Yeah, Thad, being a senior decided to opt out of having an 8 and 9 o'clock," Blaine said. "Don't mind him, Kurt. He just really likes his sleep."

"Oooh," I said, "well I guess I'll see you all later." I headed out of the door for good this time.

"Hey!" Jeff shouted after me. "Since you and Nick have an 8 o'clock together, you should coax him into walking there with you some mornings."

"Good idea," I said smiling at Jeff. "Thanks." I doubt Nick would be okay with that though. He seems like a loner or something. But I guess that's what people thought about me at my old school. He probably just likes to keep to himself. Nick has already seen what I'm hiding, sort of, and I kind of know one of his secrets too. I feel like I should get to know him more, but I don't want him to pry about how I got my bruise. I don't know. Maybe, he won't ask. At least Nick will keep my thoughts away from Blaine and his gorgeous eyes and hair and smile. I lifted my finger up and stared at it. Great, he's all I can think about now.

I walked up the stairs of the academic building to my English class. The classroom was rather large for the little amount of students there. Instead of desks, there were square tables. There was enough room for two or three students to sit at each table. I saw Nick sitting alone at a table in the very front so I sat next to him. He looked at me confused, so I explained to him how I was in his class since I'm a year younger.

"Oh, cool," Nick said surprised. "Maybe you could help me out in this class."

"Whatever," I said while pulling out my book. "You and I both know that you don't need mine or anyone else's help in any class."

"Ah," Nick said smiling, "you've been talking to the boys about me, but, Kurt, there's a reason I take it slow in English."

I looked at him completely confused, and he just smiled at me. The teacher walked in quickly slamming her rather large briefcase onto her desk. She eyed me through her black rimmed glasses. "You must be the new student, Kurt Hummel, right?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am," I said. "How did you know?"

She turned back to her desk, unloading her briefcase. "Well, that is because most students don't sit next to Mr. Duval." Her eyes turned to Nick who just looked outside the window.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Because when their grades suddenly sky-rocket, I assume that they've cheated off of him," she said calmly. "So, to avoid a trip to the principal's office, students avoid the seat next to him. I suggest you do the same."

"Oh, well, that's silly. I'm content where I am. I consider Nick a friend, and would never do that to him. I would rather fail than cheat on a friend. It'd haunt me until the day I died," I told her.

"I admire your morality, Mr. Hummel," She said carefully. "We will see if you stay true to what you've said after today's pop quiz."

I just smiled at her taking out a notebook and pen as she started teaching. I noticed Nick staring at me with a questioning look on his face. I don't blame him. I'm surprised myself that I would say that to her, but really? It was a bit ridiculous that I shouldn't sit next to Nick because I would be tempted to cheat off of him. That's strange. I'm not a cheater and I'm slightly offended by her offer to change seats.

The teacher handed out the pop quiz at the end of lecture. It was on _Pride__and__Prejudice_. Who hadn't read Jane Austen's complete works at this school? Was this supposed to be an easy A? The questions were even less difficult than I thought. She asked simple questions about the plot line and asked a short answer about Aristocratic Marriage. I answered them all a bit too quickly for her liking, but I didn't care. I even got done before Nick, which made me worry. I grabbed my things and decided to wait outside the classroom for him.

"Kurt!" Wes yelled as he hugged me from behind. He squeezed me so tightly that it hurt.

"Wes," I hissed, "please let go."

"Say the magic words," Wes said into my back. Oh my gosh, this is ridiculous. If I wasn't still covered in bruises then, this would be adorable and comforting after that class.

"Wes, let go of him. He's probably not in the mood for your …well you-ness," Nick said.

Wes let go of me and apologized. He turned back to Nick and said, "Wow, you of all people are at a loss for words."

"Oh hush," Nick said irritated. "I just didn't get enough sleep."

"Oh that explains why Kurt finished his quiz before you, Nicholas," Wes teased. "Looks like somebody has got some fierce competition."

"Wes, why are you here?" Nick asked.

"Because even though I'm mad at you for skipping breakfast, we always walk to the Language hall together," Wes said. "Kurt's coming , too!"

"What class do you have, Nick?" I asked as we headed towards the Language classrooms. Wes stood in the middle of us grasping our arms and began to skip.

I laughed and Nick let out an annoying sigh. "German II," he said. "What about you?"

"He's got French III with me!" Wes yelled, answering for me. I just smiled at him. He looked so happy. "It's going to be amazing, Kurt! You can sit next to me. We can do the partner exercises together. We can share notes when one of us isn't paying attention and everything. It's going to be so much fun!"

"Wes," Nick said, stopping and unlatching his arm from Wes's. "You don't have to shout. Kurt and I are not outside nor are we far away from you. We are standing right next to you inside of an academic building where in some classrooms breathing is not permitted."

"Don't ruin his fun, Nick," I said looking at Wes who looked completely hurt by Nick's comments.

"Sorry, Wes," Nick said. He looked really sorry and also very tired. "So, how did you end up in advanced French, Kurt?"

"He's smarter than you, that's how!" Wes said. "Come on, Kurt, let's go grab our seats." Wes grabbed my arm.

"Wait, Wes," Nick said. "Look I'm really sorry. I'm just grumpy because of the lack of sleep. But to be fair you are extra energetic and loud today, any particular reason?"

"Oh, David let me have coffee today," Wes said, looking away.

"Ah," Nick said. "Just so you know, Kurt, when Wes says 'coffee,' he means a cup of cream and sugar with a hint of coffee in it. Wes on sugar is awful."

"Oh," I said looking at Wes who was still looking away. Well, today was going to be fun.

"Let's go, Kurt," Wes said quickly. "Bye, Nick. See you at lunch!"

Wes shouted the last bit as though Nick was walking away, but Nick was clearly still standing next to us. Nick walked away and caught up with Jeff. Jeff probably came out of the classroom because he heard Wes's shouting. Apparently, Nick and Jeff had German II together. Jeff waved at us from down the hall. Wes practically jumped up and down waving when he noticed Jeff. I think I'm starting to envy Wes's happiness. How is it that he could smile all the time? Even when Nick sort of scolded him for yelling, I could tell he wasn't really upset. Maybe some of that would rub off on me.

Wes and I walked into the classroom and grabbed two seats near the front. This class was wonderful. Compared to Mckinley's advanced French, it was heaven. I got Wes for a short partnering conversation. He was so full of energy, and happy. At some points he was talking so fast that I had to ask him to slow down, in French, of course. I loved how, here at Dalton, everything you said had to be in French even if you had to go to the bathroom. I'm beginning to like this place.

When class ended, Wes and Nick headed to meet David for Calculus and Jeff said he had to head to the art room to finish up a project before class started. So, I was left by myself to go to lunch. Jeff saw how sad I looked and patted my back a little too hard reminding me that Blaine had lunch with me. Although I cringed at the pain from my back, I smiled at the thought of having lunch with Blaine.

I headed to the cafeteria and there he was, sitting outside the cafeteria doors waiting on me. He looked flawless. His curls gelled back making his honey-colored eyes stand out even more. He looked up at me and smiled a smile that made me freeze in my tracks.

**Blaine's POV**

Kurt was finally here. I bolted out of my previous class just so I wouldn't miss him. I'm sure he would have waited for me. I wasn't 100% sure if he was one of those people that just goes in and gets their food and starts eating without you, or if he was one of those people that goes in to save a table by putting their stuff down before getting their food, of if he was one of those people that goes in gets the table and then waits for you to get there and then you go get your food together. So, I decided to wait for him outside the doors.

He just stood there for a moment looking absolutely adorable. I walked over to him, not knowing what to say so I blurted out in a sigh, "Kurt." I'm an idiot.

He just smiled at me and said, "Blaine." I loved his smile. I think he noticed that was staring at him so he finally turned toward the doors and said, "So lunch…"

"Oh, right," I said. "Food." I grabbed his hand and walked quickly into the cafeteria, dragging us both over to the sub shop. "I think I'm going to eat an entire sub today. I'm starving. What about you?"

"Um, I…" Kurt stuttered. I looked over at him, and he was looking down at our hands. I was still holding his hand tightly. I let go of it immediately, completely embarrassed.

"I'm sorry about that, Kurt," I said. "I didn't mean to…It just happened." I didn't know what to say. Was I supposed to say, 'I'm sorry, Kurt, but I just didn't want to let go of your hand because it fit so perfectly in mine'? No, I wasn't because that was completely cheesy and weird.

"It's fine," he said. "I think I'm going to get a salad though."

"Oh okay, I'll meet you over there at that round table," I told him pointing to the table under the window a few feet from us.

"Alright," he said as he walked away.

I got a turkey sub and headed to the table. I watched Kurt examine the salad a few times before he finally decided to grab a plate. Why doesn't he have a boyfriend? It's a wonder. He must have had plenty of boyfriends though. He's probably way more experienced than me too since I've never had a boyfriend. Sure, I've been on a few dates, but none of them led to a relationship or anything. It's probably my fault since I'm awful at romance to begin with. I might be out of Kurt's league. Hell, I might not even be his type. He'll probably be too busy for a boyfriend anyway. I shook my head. First, I needed to get to know him better, then, I could worry about that stuff.

Kurt headed towards the table staring at me with his stunning blue eyes. It was so sexy. This is getting ridiculous. Kurt is my friend and he thinks of me as a friend, nothing more.

"Hey," he said as he sat down. "Sorry I took so long."

"It's okay. We've got a good hour to eat so, I'm in no rush," I told him.

We began eating silently, avoiding each other's eyes. "So, um, we have history next, together," he said slowly.

"Yup," I said. Gosh, this is so awkward. I have no idea what to talk to about. I can't stop thinking about his eyes or his hair or him. What if I blurt out something awful?

"I hate history," he said stabbing his salad. "It's so boring. I could barely stay awake in my old history class."

"I'm sure I'll find a way to keep you awake," I said looking at Kurt who smiled. Crap. There it is: the something awful. "I didn't mean anything by it. I just have trouble staying awake too, and maybe we could text or pass notes or something. Not that I do those things during class, but I wouldn't mind it with you…so…"

Kurt laughed. "Blaine, it's fine. I know what you meant."

"Right," I said. Kurt took a big bite of his salad and got ranch on the sides of his mouth. I laughed. "Kurt, you've got some dressing on the corners of your mouth."

He used his tongue to lick the entire perimeter of his mouth making sure he got all of it. This was going to be the longest day of my life.

When we got done with lunch, we headed over to history. Kurt and I grabbed two seats next to each other near the back of the classroom. The teacher decided that today would be the perfect day to show a documentary on Abraham Lincoln's Presidency. I don't know about Kurt, but I was definitely going to have trouble staying awake.

The movie got about fifteen minutes in and I could barely keep my eyes open. I felt my phone buzz.

_Havin trouble stayin awake sleepy head ? –Kurt_

I looked over to my left at Kurt who sat with his legs crossed looking over at me sticking his tongue out. Could he be anymore adorable?

_A lil bit lol thanks for keeping me up ;) – Blaine_

_No problem you should pay attention though because he said there would be a quiz at the end of class –Kurt_

_Shit you're right I'll try –Blaine_

_Well you're gonna have to stay awake without my help from now on because I can't fail the first history quiz I ever take at Dalton that would look terrible! –Kurt_

_Good point sry I'll try my best to stay awake –B_

_You better ;) – Kurt_

I looked over at Kurt who put his phone away and started watching the documentary again. He was concentrating so hard, bouncing his leg over his knee. He even took notes. The teacher turned the lights on after a few moments and passed out the quiz. When I got my quiz, I realized that all I had done the entire class period was watch Kurt. I hadn't paid any attention to the film at all. Shit.

Algebra was next. On the way to class Kurt kept a good distance from me, but I didn't think too much of it. I was too wrapped up in how I was going to focus in this next class. But I love math, and nothing could distract me from that. What can I say? I'm a nerd when it comes to math, science, and music.

Class went by smoothly until she called Kurt up to the board to solve an equation. Kurt took the chalk and folded his arms thinking very hard about what to write. Even his thinking face was cute. This is awful. Kurt can never be called to the board ever again because I'd fail this class too. I'd be thinking about how cute he is and how whenever he looked at me his eyes warmed my heart. What am I going to do? I mean I couldn't just avoid Kurt, and I didn't want to. I actually wanted to spend lots of time with Kurt but hopefully outside of school. This was going to be a difficult job. A hand shook me from my thoughts. I looked around and the entire classroom was empty.

"Earth to Blaine!" Kurt shouted.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Class is over. You have to go to Biology now…" Kurt said slowly.

"Right, sorry," I said. Great. Kurt probably thinks I'm mental or something. That's definitely giving me some points in the possible boyfriend material category. I opened the door for Kurt and lead us to the art hall.

"Blaine, don't you have Biology next?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah," I said, "but I wanted to walk you to Art."

"Oh," he said shocked. "Um, thanks. That's really nice of you, Blaine." He thinks I'm nice. I'm glad.

Biology was a bore. Without Kurt in this class, I had to take notes and, well, pay attention. I had another freaking quiz , too! On this one, I'm pretty sure I did quite well. I needed something to focus on so, I wouldn't think of Kurt, so I focused on the biology teacher. A lot of the guys think that the Sophomore biology teacher was really hot so it was hard for them to concentrate. I, however, never had that problem. My grades are amazing in here. She even congratulates me on how well I'm doing sometimes. Her bending down and accidentally brushing her breasts over my shoulder to help me in lab exposing her cleavage doesn't distract me at all. I'm so glad I'm gay. Those straight guys really don't stand a chance in here when she does that.

I got done with my quiz early so I decided to walk over to the art hall and see if Kurt was almost done too. Kurt didn't really seem like the type to be into art. Of course, Jeff was the only other artist I knew and his drawings were a bit disturbing. His sketch books were full of stills from class, scenes from books, people fighting, girls he had seen in passing, and lots of naked women. I'm sure that Kurt drew more interesting things than that.

Kurt came out of the class surprised to see me. "Blaine," he said. "What are you doing here?"

"Escorting Kurt Hummel to his next class, of course," I replied.

He smiled. "Thanks, but you don't have to do this. It would be a pain for you to walk all the way from the science hall to the art hall and then back to the science hall."

"I don't mind," I said to him. "Plus, it's your first day here, and it should be memorable."

"Thanks , Blaine," he said.

"So, what made you take an art class?" I asked as we began walking to Chemistry.

"Oh, um, I like drawing clothing designs and such," he said looking down while clutching his sketchbook. "I draw designs for suits, dresses, casual wear, and things of that nature in great detail. It's what I want to do for a career."

"Wow," I said, "that's really cool. One day you'll have to let me see what kinds of things you see people wearing in the future."

He smiled. "Okay, I will."

Chemistry wasn't as distracting as my other "Kurt classes." We all had to sit in alphabetical order so that the teacher had an easier time taking attendance. He explained that this way he didn't have to waste precious time calling roll. Since Kurt was new and his last name began with an 'H' and not a 'Z,' half of the class had to shift over a seat for him. The teacher explained that although today we wasted 10 minutes with the movement, we all saved many more minutes by making the shift. Since my name began with an 'A,' I just watched the other students move seats while Kurt stood awkwardly at the back of the classroom. After listening to the teacher rant, I hope Kurt realized that the students' glares and groans were directed at the anal teacher and not him. The lesson, today, consisted of the teacher bombarding Kurt with random questions about his knowledge of chemistry. He would start a sentence about gas laws or something, and then, immediately ask Kurt if he had covered that at his previous school. Of course, Kurt answered him with a polite 'No, sir' after every question, but it started to piss me off. He really didn't have to treat Kurt so rudely on his first day here. When class ended, I walked abruptly out of the classroom.

"Hey," Kurt said to me as he came out. "Why'd you rush out like that? I thought you had left me. Are you really in that big of a rush to get to dinner?"

"Oh, no," I told him. "I wouldn't leave you. It's just that guy was such a jerk to you."

To my surprise, Kurt just laughed. "Not really. I've had to endure much worse than that, whatever that was. Is he always this anal?"

I smiled. "Yes, yes he is. Everything must be perfectly neat."

"This is going to an interesting class," he said as we headed to the caf.

"Yeah," I said, "make sure you staple your homework at the top left hand corner or you will be deducted points."

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"Unfortunately, yes I am," I said shaking my head.

There was a guy jogging towards us who looked like he was about to be late for his next class. He rammed right into Kurt's shoulder knocking him down. Kurt looked so shaken up. The guy reached his hand down to help Kurt, but Kurt didn't even notice it. Kurt just sat there staring into space.

"Hey," I said to the guy, "just go ahead to class and watch where you're going next time."

"Okay," the guy said. "Tell your friend I'm really sorry, and I didn't mean for it to happen."

"I will," I told him as he ran off.

I kneeled down beside Kurt. "Kurt, are you okay?"

He had tears in his eyes. I reached my hand up to his cheek to wipe away a tear. As my hand got closer, he immediately swatted it away yelling, "Stop!" He looked up realizing that he had yelled. "I'm sorry, Blaine. I didn't mean to do that. I'm fine, I just…I have to go." He got up and dusted himself off quickly and sprinted in the opposite direction of the cafeteria.

Where was he going? Was he really okay? Why did he just run away like that? What just happened? Kurt left me in the floor with all of those questions unanswered and full of worry.

"Hey, Blaine," I heard Jeff say. "What are you doing on the floor? And why did Kurt just run away from you? Did you say something to hurt his feelings?"

He reached down to help me up. As I stood, I was still in deep in thought when Nick said, "What happened exactly?"

"I don't know," I answered. "We were talking about Chemistry, and then, this random guy bumped into him knocking him clean over. He just kind of freaked out after that saying he needed to go. He looked so upset. Maybe I should try to find him."

"Yeah, maybe you should," Jeff agreed.

I started off in the other direction after Kurt when suddenly Nick grabbed my shoulder. "No, just come to dinner with us. He probably wants to be alone right now."

I gave Nick a worried look. "But what if he's not okay? What if he needs to talk to someone about it? What if—"

"Blaine," Nick said, "Kurt knows where to find us if he needs to talk. Plus, he has all of our numbers. You can go check on him after dinner."

"You mean after Warbler practice," Jeff interjected. "Wes will murder you if you're late."

"I can't wait that long," I whined.

"Blaine, leave Kurt be," Nick said dragging me to dinner. "You haven't eaten since 11am, so I know you're hungry."

Nick opened the doors to the cafeteria and the smell of spaghetti and meatballs flooded my nostrils. My stomach growled instantly. "Fine," I gave in, "but after practice I am heading straight to Kurt's room."

"Wow, Blaine," David said from behind me. "You two are moving kind of fast if you can't stand to be away from him for two hours."

I blushed. "Aw," Wes said, "Blainey's got a crush on Kurt. Look at how red he is!"

"Yeah," Thad said, "Blainey's fallin' hard for his Kurt fellow. It's a shame, too, because Kurt is way too cute for you in my opinion."

"No one asked you, Thad!" I shouted wondering how long they had been listening to Jeff, Nick, and I. "I do not have a crush on Kurt! Something happened today so he's skipping dinner, and I'm worried about him. So, I'm going to bring him some food and talk to him about it."

Thad laughed. "Oh yeah, I'm sure Kurt will feel all better after he's had Blaine's burnt spaghetti."

"Or his burnt Mac 'n' Cheese," Wes said.

"Or his burnt ramen noodles," Jeff said.

"Or his lovely burnt grilled cheese sandwiches," David said.

"Shut up!" I yelled. "I was going to bring him a box back from the cafeteria, you jerks."

"Oh," Nick said, "well that's probably best for him. You don't want him getting sick."

They all laughed. "I need new friends," I said.

"You love us," Jeff said.

"Whatever," I said.

We started eating. Well, they started eating. I was stabbing my spaghetti thinking about what was wrong with Kurt. I hope he just went back to his room, and wasn't lost somewhere or in the library or something. Why did Nick think he needed to be left alone at time like this anyway? I wouldn't want to be. But, Kurt is more similar to Nick that whole being alone aspect. He seems to keep his distance from everyone. Why? We weren't going hurt him or anything? Had someone hurt him before? I'm over reacting. I just needed dinner and Warbler practice to go extremely fast today, so I could find Kurt.

Wes's phone starting playing "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha. "Okay, everybody!" he shouted. "Time for Warbler practice!"

"Wes," Jeff said, "it's only 4:20pm. Practice starts at 5pm. Why do we have to go so early?"

"I have to be there first because I am head of the council, and I require that the other council members, Thad and David, to be there earlier than the other members as well," Wes answered proudly.

"Okay, but why do Nick, Blaine, and I have to come early too?" Jeff asked.

"Because," Wes said, "we're all already eating dinner together, and we are all headed to the same place after dinner so we might as well walk together. It'd be so weird just to leave you all here. Plus, don't you like walking with me? I'm fun. I hum and skip. David says it's cute."

"Yes well, we aren't David," Nick said.

"Don't be mean to Wes, Nick," Jeff said ruffling Nick's hair.

"Sorry, Wes," Nick said.

"It's fine," Wes said. "Let's go!"

Much to only Wes's delight, we headed to the music practice room for practice. Wes entertained us by skipping most of the way and humming whatever random tune popped into his head. I'm pretty positive that one of the songs was "Barbie Girl" by Aqua.

As we approached the double doors, we heard music. Someone was playing the grand piano beautifully, and they had begun to sing as well.

**A/N:**Ohhh, a cliff hanger! Who's playing the piano? A new character perhaps? And where did Kurt go? Anyway, hey guys, I have everyone's school schedules written out :) If you want to see, let me know through a message or review :)


	6. Help

**Author****'****s****note:**Hey guys I'm totally cool with a smiley face or a sad face or something as a review. I just like seeing them there haha. I like this face too: :p it's pretty cute. Also, I uploaded this chapter because I'm on holiday from school! But that just ended and I have tests everyday this week and exams next week so you probably won't get a chapter next week because I'll be busy cramming I'm sorry :(

**Editor****'****s****note:**Sorry it took so long for this chapter to get posted. She wrote it early, but it took me a while to read it, last week being Thanksgiving and all! Hope you enjoy!

**Warning:** This story contains sexual assault, abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and strong language.

**Chapter 6: Help**

**Kurt's POV**

I can't believe I ran like that. I can't believe I hit Blaine's hand away either. What's wrong with me? I can't go around thinking that everyone who gets close to me is going to hurt me. But I can't help it, not after what happened. When that boy knocked me down, it's all I could think about. Memories of jocks shoving me into lockers flooded my head, on top of the locker room incident, so I ran. I ran away just like I ran away from McKinley to Dalton. I really am a worthless coward. But then again, standing up for myself go me hurt. I'm so conflicted about what to do, but I don't want to talk to someone about it. What will they think of me when they find out, especially Blaine? That conversation would ruin any chances I had with him.

Where am I anyway? I looked around the room I had fled to and noticed couches and chairs. In the back of the room near the windows was a large, black piano. I walked over to the piano and began to play. I thought that if I played a song to inspire me to let people in and stop running, then I'd stop crying or something. Maybe it'd even make me feel better. So, I sang.

_Tears are forming in your eyes_

_A storm is warning in the sky_

_The end of the world it seems_

_You bend down and you fall on your knees _

_Well get back on your feet yeah_

_Don't look away _

_Don't run away_

_Hey baby it's only life_

_Don't lose your faith_

_Don't run away_

_Hey baby it's only life_

_Yea it's only life_

_You were always playing hard_

_Never could let down your guard_

_But you can't win_

_If you never give in_

_To that voice within_

_Saying pick up your chin_

_Baby let go of it_

_Don't look away _

_Don't run away_

_Hey baby it's only life_

_Don't lose your faith_

_Don't run away_

_Hey baby it's only life_

_Yea it's only life_

I finished playing, and I heard clapping from behind me. I quickly wiped my eyes so they wouldn't see my pathetic crying.

"Kurt!" Jeff yelled as he ran over to the piano bench. "I had no idea you could play the piano!" He concentrated on the keys and folded his arms in frustration. "I've always wanted to know how to work one of these things. Maybe you could give me a lesson sometime."

Thad laughed at Jeff and ruffled his hair. "You're such an idiot, Jeff," he said.

"Don't fall for his puppy dog face, Kurt," Nick said. "It's all an act. I play piano and guitar, and I have tried on numerous occasions to give him lessons. He's awful. He gets distracted easily, and he won't sit still long enough to show him anything."

"Hello!" Wes shouted. "You guys are missing the main point. Kurt can sing!"

"Yeah," David said, "Wes is right. Plus, he's a countertenor! He's exactly what we need for sectionals this year."

They all nodded in agreement. I looked passed them to Blaine who had been silent the whole time. Maybe he was quiet because he didn't have anything nice to say about my voice. He noticed me staring, so I quickly looked away embarrassed.

"Kurt," Blaine finally said. "I've never heard anyone sing the way you do. It was breathtaking. You should definitely audition for The Warblers."

"Um, thanks," I said, "but what exactly are The Warblers?"

Wes jumped up looking completely bewildered and started to shout, "What? You've never—"

David grabbed Wes around the stomach to keep Wes from launching himself at me, and he placed his hand over Wes's mouth. "The Warblers is the name of the glee club here at Dalton," David said calmly despite the fact that Wes was struggling with all his might. "We are a very traditional glee club, so we usual don't have instruments behind us as we sing like most glee clubs now-a-days. We would love to have you audition this Friday if you have the time."

"Audition?" Thad said. "Please, Kurt, you're practically in. Wes has been searching like a mad man for a countertenor."

I heard a loud bump and looked over to see that David was on the floor and Wes had broken free. "Well, yes, Thad, if it were just up to me, then, he would be in right now. But in keeping with the honorary traditions of this club, Kurt must have a formal audition in front of the club. We will vote and notify him afterwards," Wes said coolly. I'd never heard him so serious or stern before. It was different. I looked to see what David had made of Wes's new found authority in his voice, and he just sat there still on the ground with a smile on his face looking up at Wes.

"It would be really great if you auditioned, Kurt," Blaine said. He moved right in front of me looking down with his perfect smile. I looked up to meet his gaze, and I just about melted right there. I couldn't bring myself to smile, but I quickly closed my mouth and nodded. I probably looked like a complete idiot to Blaine.

"If you're still skeptical, we are giving an impromptu performance outside the cafeteria later this week," Nick said. "If you don't like what you hear, don't audition. If you do like it, then we will see you on Friday."

I smiled at Nick. I bet some people think him being so blunt and straight forward was rude or that he was trying to get rid of them. But I'm pretty sure that's just how his brain worked. He was always so busy with school and other things that he must have to think of things in short, to-the-point sentences. I liked it though. I hate it when people drag things out and "beat around the bush."

"Alright," I told them, "I'll think about it."

Everyone instantly shouted, especially Wes. Jeff who was still sitting next to me grabbed both my shoulders and gave them a tight squeeze in the midst of the shouting. Then he patted my hurt shoulder as he stood up to join the others. I immediately cringed in pain. I looked up around to make sure no one noticed, but, of course, Blaine was looking straight at me. He walked over to me and asked, "Hey, um, are you okay? I'm really sorry about earlier. I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," I said quickly standing up to face him. "I shouldn't have slapped your hand away like that. You were just trying to help me. And I shouldn't have run away like that. I'm really sorry, Blaine."

"It's fine," he said, relieved. "I was just worried is all, and you never answered my question: Are you okay? What happened with that guy really shook you up. I know you were bullied at your old school, but it looked like more than that. You can't keep that in, Kurt. You need to talk about it. If you ever want to talk about it with someone, you can come talk to me anytime."

I blushed immediately. "Oh," I said looking away. He was worried about me. I thought that I may have freaked him out or something, but he was worried. I can't believe _he_ apologized to _me_. I'm the one who hit him and practically shoved him away from me. Then, I ran away from him leaving him on the floor. I was awful and after all that, he apologized. Blaine was really something. I think I could trust him with my secret. I could see that he cared about me and if I wanted to be with him, then I couldn't keep a secret like this. Even if he doesn't want to be with me after I tell him, at least, I will have talked about it with someone. Then maybe I will be able to get close to people again without freaking out. "I do need to talk to someone. Can we talk about what happened later? "

"Yeah, I can come find you after Warbler practice, okay?" he said.

"Okay, I'll be in my room," I said. He smiled at me again, and I did the same.

"Okay," Thad said from across the room, "enough flirting, you two. It's almost time for the meeting to start."

Blaine and I turned completely red. I turned around to see that David, Wes, and Thad had taken their seats at the table at the far side of the room near the entrance. Jeff and Nick were sitting on the love seat next to the table. Other students were starting to come in as well. I'm assuming by meeting, he meant for The Warblers. Since I'm not officially a member, I should probably leave. I grabbed my bag off the floor, and looked to Blaine.

"We were not flirting!" Blaine shouted to Thad as we both made our way across the room.

"Oh, that sucks," Thad said to him. "I was hoping you were."

I gave Blaine a questioning look, and he blushed even harder, which I didn't think was possible. I walked over to the table to tell them good-bye, but something Wes had in front of him distracted me.

"Wes, you have a gavel?" I asked, reaching out to touch the glass casing it was kept in.

"Don't you touch Christine!" Wes shouted. My hand recoiled instantly and I looked down at him giving him a shocked expressed. "I mean, um, yes I have a gavel to keep order at the meetings."

I looked at the glass casing again quickly. The bottom had a golden tag that said, "Christine." He had named it. Well, this was getting too awkward for my taste. "I'm going to go eat dinner, and start on some work," I told them. "Bye." I waved as I exited.

I expected the dining hall to be a bit empty by now, but alas it was full of boys. There were so many people here. Blending in here shouldn't be a problem with or without Blaine, if Blaine still wants to be with me after our "talk." I'm actually kind of regretting promising him that talk. How would I start it? What would I say? I liked him a lot. I didn't want that asshole Karofsky to ruin every aspect of my life. I grabbed a tray but had no idea what to put on it. I ended up grabbing an apple. The old woman swiped my I.D. after looking at me skeptically. I guess all the boys here normally had appetites like animals.

I grabbed a table near the back and pushed my apple around the tray. I watched it roll around while buried deep in thought about what to do about Blaine. A hand reached down stopping the apple. I looked up to meet a pair of deep brown eyes. It was a rather tall, thin woman with purple glasses that matched the silk scarf around her neck. My eyes wondered to her clipboard. "May, I help you," I asked.

"If you are Kurt Hummel, then yes, you can," she replied.

"I am," I said slowly. "Who are you?"

"I'm Ms. Clemmings, the guidance counselor here at Dalton," she said. "We had a meeting scheduled for today during your lunch period. I'm assuming you forgot about it."

Holy crap! I had forgotten about her completely. I got an email last night about meeting with her about my class schedule and to see if I was "adjusting properly." "Yes, I did," I said. "I'm so sorry. Is there any way we can reschedule it to another day?"

"How about now?" she asked. "After all, it doesn't look like you're too interested in dinner."

I sighed looking at the apple. "I suppose you're right. Now would be great." I tossed the apple and followed the woman back to her office. Her office was on the third floor above the dining hall. I had never been up here, but it looked to be where all the teacher offices were. We reached a dark brown door labeled "Guidance Counselor" and entered. Instead of sitting behind her mahogany desk, she took a seat in a green lounging chair. She stretched her arm toward the couch silently inviting me to take a seat. I sat down, crossed my legs, and stared at her waiting to be asked a bunch of irrelevant questions about how my day went.

"So, Kurt," she said looking at her clipboard, "how do you like Dalton so far?"

"It's nice," I replied.

"Even the uniforms?" she asked still looking down. "Most students who transfer from public schools tend to complain about that a lot. I would if I were you."

I smiled. "Well, at first I was disappointed that I couldn't wear anything fashionable, but I think it's better this way. It's safer."

"Why is it better this way?" she asked putting her pen down.

"No one can judge you if they are wearing the same thing as you," I said.

"It says you were bullied at your old school, and that's why you transferred," she said. "Is that why you feel that it's safer?"

"I guess," I replied. I was hoping she wasn't listening to me mumble, but she heard every word.

"You do know that no one will hurt you or judge you here, Kurt?" she asked.

"I know," I said, "because of the no-tolerance bullying policy."

"No," she said. "it's because here at Dalton we're like a family. We treat everyone the way that we would like to be treated if we were in that situation."

"Psh, please," I said. "You can't expect me to believe that every student and teacher at this school is just open-minded and accepting to everything."

"No, but the majority are," she said. "And those who aren't keep it to themselves and at least show you respect. Here, no one is going to impose their beliefs upon you by trying to beat them into you or anything like what you've gone through in the past. I just want to let you know that you are safe here, Kurt. Don't get to busy fitting in that you lose yourself along the way, okay?"

"Okay," I said. "Thanks." I've never had a pep talk from anyone like that. She's right though. I shouldn't be afraid anymore. After all, didn't I transfer to Dalton so I could be myself somewhere safe?

"Any time," she said. "I'm sure we will see each other again, and if you ever need to talk you know where to find me."

"Thanks, Ms. Clemmings," I said as I stood to leave.

She reached her hand out to shake mine and said, "Nice meeting you, Mr. Hummel."

I smiled and shook her hand. "Nice meeting you, too."

"Hmm," she said, "your hands are rather clammy. Were you nervous this entire time?"

"Oh no," I told her, "it's just a little warm in here. Anyway, thanks again, Ms. Clemmings."

I finally left closing the door behind me. As I walked outside, the cool fall breeze was wonderful against my skin. The heat was turned up too high for my taste in that building. Hopefully it'd be cooler in the dorm. By the time I got to my room, I was so tired that I wanted to just sleep, but I couldn't stop thinking about everything. On top of school, this thing on my shoulder, and making new friends, I had to audition for The Warblers. I had no idea what song I would sing. Something that inspires me, maybe. I'd have to ask Finn for advice about it later because right now I couldn't stand up straight, let alone think about song choices. I couldn't shake the tired feeling. I felt ill, and my shoulder stung with intense pain. I went to the bathroom and took my blazer and shirt off to take a look at it. I carefully unwrapped the bandages and noticed that it had gotten worse. It was red, puffy, and purpler. I guess I needed to talk to Nick about how to clean this thing properly, but not at that exact second. He was probably still at Warbler practice and I had to talk to Blaine first anyway, so I decided to shower. Hopefully the shower would cool me off because it was so warm everywhere. The pressure of the water against my wound stung but the coolness of the water felt nice against it. I reached up quickly to grab some shampoo hurting my arm. The pain was awful so I just decided to try not to move it anymore than I had to. I got out of the shower and put on black sweat pants and a large white shirt. I definitely was not about to go anywhere for a while so it didn't matter what I wore. I barely made it to the bed when my body just gave out on me and I passed out on top of the covers.

When I woke up, I felt as if I was still sleeping. I was still so warm and my vision was blurry. I stood up slowly and walked over to my mirror. I looked so tired and felt it too. A shooting pain went through my entire arm starting at my grotesque shoulder. I grasped my shoulder tightly which helped hinder the pain, but it was still there. The pain continued with throbs vibrating through my shoulder blade. I looked over at my alarm clock. It was 6:15pm so Warbler practice should be over with, and the boys should be returning back to their rooms by now. At least, I hoped Nick was in his room because I really needed his help with this thing on my arm. I grabbed my phone and keys shoving them into my pockets and headed towards Nick's room. I walked forward slowly still tired and it was getting harder to breathe. I was right outside of the door when the shooting pain started up again. I reached up to knock just as Jeff was opening the door to leave.

"Hey, Kurt," he said. "What's up? You look a really pale. Are you sick?"

"Oh, um, no. I'm fine. I'm actually looking for Nick," I answered. "Is he here?"

"Oh," he said giving me a confused look. "No, he's still in the academic building. He had to pick up a book from the library or something. But he should be back soon. I'd say 10 or 15 minutes tops."

"Oh, okay," I said, awkwardly. "Well, I guess I'll just come back then." I should have texted him or something before I just walked down there like that.

I turned to leave and Jeff grabbed my hurt arm. "Kurt, wait," he said. I gasped in pain, but it was quiet so that he wouldn't hear. "Kurt, you are welcome to just wait in the room for Nick if you want."

I turned and stared at Jeff with thankful eyes. I didn't want to walk all the back to my room in my current state, nor did I want to walk back whenever Nick got here. I was so glad at the offer that I smiled at him. "Thanks, I will if you think that would be okay with him."

"Yeah, he won't mind," said Jeff. "He'd love to see a visitor that's not here for homework help or something. Just don't destroy the place or touch his calendar thingy. Look Kurt, are you sure you're okay? Your hands were really warm and clammy. You don't have a fever or anything, do you?"

I looked away unsure of what to say. No, I wasn't fine. I was actually in a great deal of pain, but I really wouldn't consider a bruised up shoulder sick either. "I'm really fine Jeff. I'm just a little warm and very tired."

"Hmmm," Jeff eyed me. "Alright, Kurt. I'll be back later. See ya!"

"Bye, Jeff! Thanks!" I said as I came into the room, and he closed the door behind him.

I looked around and instantly knew which side of the room was Nick's and which side was Jeff's. Nick's side of the room was closer to the bathroom door than Jeff's. It had a neatly made bed, a desk with a printer, a computer, and a book shelf full of school books and medical books. Above the desk was a giant dry erase calendar. I walked over all of Jeff's dirty clothes and books that were sprawled out all over the floor to make my way over to the calendar. It had so many things carefully written everywhere. It even had sticky notes on some days where things looked like they were over loaded. Poor Nick. This is so much stuff to think about every day. I'm getting tired just looking at it. I felt so dizzy. Maybe I just needed to sit down. My legs started to give out just as I reached the dark haired Warbler's bed. I lied down, completely exhausted and waited for Nick to return.

**Nick's POV**

I hate running especially when it was so dark outside. I could barely find my way back to the dorms even with those random lights on the trees. It was only 6:30pm, and it was like pitch black thanks to Daylights Savings. Yaye. Not. But it was my fault for forgetting to check this book out before dinner. Running into Blaine completely distracted me. Blaine looked so worried about Kurt, but it wasn't my place to explain to him that some guy really fucked Kurt up. He never told me what happened. All I knew was that some guy left tons of bruises on Kurt and a pretty hideous mark. It looked like a bite mark, but that'd be ridiculous and mean that Kurt might have been abused, sexually. I didn't know if I could help him deal with that. I wondered if he had told anyone, and if he was doing okay after today. The incident Blaine described probably brought up horrible memories for Kurt. I'd have to go check on Kurt and then go to the study rooms in the basement and start tutoring. Hopefully, I had time for both if not, then, the kids in the basement would have to wait.

I finally got to the dorm and quickly ran up the stairs. I stopped by Kurt's room and knocked a few times, but no one answered. I went to my room to drop my things off and call Kurt to see where he was. My door was unlocked so that meant Jeff was in there messing up something as usual.

"Jeff," I said as I opened the door wider. "You better not be fumbling with my bookcase. I don't want you to knock it over like last time."

I hung my coat up on the rack near the door and looked around. Kurt was curled up in a ball shivering on my bed. I threw my book bag down so hard that everything fell out of it scattering across both sides of the room. I kneeled down on the floor on the bed and started shaking Kurt awake. "Kurt…Kurt!" I shouted. "Are you okay?"

He stirred a little from his sleep. He looked so pale and tired. His eyes were a little red, and he was sweating which means he had a fever before he fell asleep because it's freezing in this dorm all the time. "Kurt, how long ago did your fever start?"

"Fever?" he finally said. "I don't know. Nick, I have to talk to you about that thing on my shoulder. I think it's getting worse and I promised you I'd come see you remember?" He spoke so slowly and raspy.

"I remember," I said. "Can I see it?"

"Yeah," he said. He started to sit up to take his shirt off to show me the mark, but it looked like it hurt him to raise his arm.

"Stop," I said, "let me help you get it off."

He had already gotten the shirt off his good arm, so I raised it over his head and slowly dragged the shirt off of his hurt arm. "Oh, my gosh, Kurt," I said shocked.

"Is it really that bad?" he said weakly as he leaned back against the headboard.

"Yes, Kurt it is," I said sadly. It had definitely gotten infected. It was inflamed and red and bruised up. The coloring had taken over his entire shoulder. And like I thought, there was a huge bite mark. What did this guy do to Kurt? I placed his shirt back over his head and helped him adjust it. He started to shiver again. He was really sick from this thing. "Kurt, we're going to the doctor now," I said as I grabbed my coat and wrapped it around him. His eyes went wide as if to protest. "It's not a hospital or anything. We have an on-campus doctor. He's across campus, but people will drive us there."

I picked Kurt up in my arms and headed to the door. He was lighter than my backpack. "Nick, no, I'll be fine. I just—"

"Kurt, you look awful, you're shoulder is infected, and you had a fever that could come back. You need help, okay?" I said pleadingly.

Kurt nodded his head and allowed me to continue out the door. I know you're not supposed to take the elevator in an emergency, but I was not about to risk dropping Kurt down like 5 flights of stairs. Nor was I about to let Kurt walk down those stairs. He might have passed out or something if he did that. When we got to the main lobby, it was empty, which was wonderful because there was no way to explain this. I was holding a boy in my arms who was wrapped in my coat. Kurt was so small that it looked like kidnapping to me. I turned to the receptionist who gave me the strangest look in the world.

"I need a golf cart to take us to the health center," I said.

"Right, okay," he said nervously. "There's one out front now that just got back from an errand. I'll get the door." He jumped over the front of the desk, and scurried to the door. "Hey, Bug!" he yelled to the golf cart driver. "These two kids gotta go to the health center. Hurry up, this kid looks pretty sick."

"Alright," the driver said whose name was apparently Bug. That had to be a nickname or something because no one in their right mind would name a boy Bug. I didn't think anymore of it because Kurt could barely keep his eyes open anymore.

The receptionist turned back to me. "Hey, I'll let them know you're on the way so, they'll be prepared to help you guys out. What's his name?"

"Thanks. His name is Kurt Hummel. He might have a fever and he's got an infected wound on his left shoulder," I told him.

"Alright," he said as he ran back inside to the phone.

I set Kurt down in the golf cart and sat down next to him. He leaned on my shoulder, and closed his eyes. Damn. He was tired. "Okay, we're ready," I told Bug. He sped off so quickly that I to grab the side of the golf cart for support and wrapped my other arm around Kurt so he wouldn't fly out.

We got to the health center in record time, and a nurse was standing outside ready for us. I thanked Bug, and got out of the cart. Kurt slid out on his own.

"Kurt, I can carry you again," I told him. "It's not that big a deal."

"No, I couldn't let you do that," he said. "It's only a few feet from the door. I'll be fine."

The nurse came over and helped Kurt start walking toward the door. I let out a sigh of relief. I hoped he would be okay. I could stay with him. I should stay with him. I went to the door and held it open for Kurt and the nurse. We all went inside and she led us to a room for Kurt. "Kurt is it alright if I stay here with you, and make sure everything is okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, you can stay, but don't you have things to do?" he asked. "I saw your calendar."

I smiled. "Kurt, you are more important than anything on that stupid calendar. You're my friend, Kurt," I said cheerfully. The nurse started taking Kurt's blood pressure and temperature. "Not only would I be a jerk if I left you here, but if I had left, I would be worrying about you anyway."

He gave me a strange look. Kurt was interesting. Of course, I needed to stay with him especially since he offered. Did he not consider us friends at all? Did no one really care for him at his old school?

"Mr. Hummel," the nurse spoke up. "Your blood pressure is normal, but you have a fever of 100.1. I'll go get the doctor so he can take a look at your wound and see what's going on, okay?" Kurt nodded. Only 10 seconds passed before a middle aged, dark haired man came in. He wore a dark green shirt, khaki pants, and glasses. Oh god. I recognized him.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Hallen," he said turning to Kurt holding out his hand. Kurt shook it lightly.

"I'm—" Kurt started, but Dr. Hallen cut him off.

"You are Kurt Hummel, the sick kid with the wound. And your friend here is the famous Nick Duval, the boy genius, who never gets sick. It's good to see you again Nick, but not in these circumstances, of course."

"Of course," was all I said. I hated that guy. He was a douche bag. He was in charge of the boys' physicals that we have to get every year, and he was such a jerk to us. Well, I think I'm the only guy who thought so. Everyone else just thought he was being funny or something.

"Okay, Kurt," he said. "When they called they said you hand a bruise or scar or something on your shoulder. Can you show me?"

Kurt nodded and proceeded to take off his shirt. I glared at Dr. Hallen. I really couldn't help it though. I just couldn't stand the guy. I didn't have any good reason either besides the fact that he was a douche bag, and I think that's reason enough. Dr. Hallen put on some gloves and started prodding and poking at Kurt's shoulder. He winced in pain, but the doctor kept going. Jerk. He grabbed some wipes and started cleaning it. Kurt gasped in pain some more.

"I know it hurts Kurt, but I need to clean it up more so I can see it better," he said. "It's really infected. It looks like you've been cleaning it, but have you been covering it up with something?"

Kurt nodded. "I've been putting bandages on it."

"There, all done cleaning," he said as he made a strange face. "There are a lot of bruises on your back, and, Kurt, is this a bite mark?"

He looked away. "Yeah, it is," Kurt answered.

"Who did this to you?" Dr. Hallen asked. I didn't like his tone at all.

"Does it matter who gave it to him?" I asked angrily. Did it matter? He could leave Kurt alone. I'm sure he doesn't want to go through what happened. It was a little personal after all. Maybe I should leave.

"Oh, why so touchy, Mr. Duval?" the doctor asked. "Did you get a little too aggressive with little Kurt here while you two were being intimate?"

"No!" I shouted and stood up. "A, I'm not gay, and B, I would never hurt Kurt!"

"Calm down, kid," Dr. Hallen said. "I was only joking."

"Yeah, whatever," I said sitting back down.

"What did happen, Mr. Hummel?" he asked again putting a hand on Kurt's knee. If Kurt had been assaulted, then, I'm sure touching him probably wouldn't make him feel comfortable. "I need to know if someone is hurting you."

"I can leave if you want, Kurt," I said looking at Kurt worried.

"No, it's fine. Stay Nick," he said. He looked back at Dr. Hallen, and said, "At my old school there was this bully who bothered me. He gave me the bruises on my back and the bite mark. My dad found out about the bullying so I transferred here."

"Oh," Dr. Hallen said. I guess he was in deep thought like me. I mean why would the bully bite him? But I just didn't want to keep jumping to the conclusion that he was sexually assaulted when I didn't have the whole story. I also didn't want to pressure him to tell me, and I hoped Dr. Hallen wouldn't either. He looked so uncomfortable just telling us that much.

"Okay, well, Kurt, there are two options for treatment of this thing," Dr. Hallen finally said. "I could give you two shots of antibiotics, one in each hip, and send you home with some medicine for the fever and infection or I could put you on an IV drip and keep you here until tomorrow."

"Which one is cheaper?" Kurt asked worried. Was he serious? I wanted to know which one was better for him. Who cares about the cost? He was sick.

Dr. Hallen also gave Kurt a strange look and said, "The option of the two shots of antibiotics and the medicine is cheaper."

"Let's do that," Kurt said happily with a smile.

Dr. Hallen returned the smile. "Okay, well, I need to call your parents to have them—"

"No!" Kurt said so loud that the doctor and I gave him a shocked looked. "I mean I just don't want to worry them, especially my dad. I don't want him to stress out because it's bad for his heart…"

"Kurt, your dad will be fine," Dr. Hallen said. "He has a right to know that his son isn't feeling well. I'm sure if you weren't away from home it would have been him bringing you in here and not Mr. Duval."

"Okay," Kurt said sadly.

"Great. I'll have the front desk call him for the insurance information," Dr. Hallen said. "I'll be back with the shots momentarily."

Kurt put his shirt back on and I walked over to help him. When I was done, I sat down on the bed next to Kurt. "It'll be okay, Kurt."

"I just hate bothering people for things," he said.

"You're not bothering your dad when you get sick. You can't help it," I said. "It's not even your fault; it's that bully's fault, Kurt."

Kurt nodded and hugged me. "Thanks for everything, Nick."

"No problem, Kurt," I smiled and hugged him back.

Neither of us heard the door open. "Aww, isn't this just touching," Dr. Hallen said. "And you told me you were straight, Nick."

I really can't stand this guy. "I am straight. I was just giving my friend, Kurt, a comforting hug."

"Sure," Dr. Hallen said as he winked at me. I really fucking hate this guy. I was tempted to punch him, but Kurt interrupted my thoughts.

"What did my dad say?" Kurt asked, worried.

"Your dad was really worried when the nurse and I told him what was going on, but I think we were unsuccessful in convincing him not to drive down here tonight," Dr. Hallen said sadly.

"Terrific," Kurt said sarcastically. "He always over reacts when it comes to me. I'm sure he'd drive here if you told him I had a cold too." He laughed. I smiled. I think it's pretty cool that Kurt's dad cares about him so much. "You came back pretty fast though."

"He said that you weren't answering any of his phone calls tonight so, he and Finn, who ever that is, were really worried about you. He said he would have a woman named Carole call over with the information, and he hung up quickly. I called the dorm and told them that because you were ill, you and Mr. Duval would not be present for study hours," the doctor explained.

"Finn is my step brother, and Carole is my step mother," Kurt said. "But I didn't feel my phone buzz at all." Kurt reached in his pocket and stared wide eyed at his phone. I leaned over his shoulder to see what had him so shocked. Kurt had 10 missed calls and a voicemail all from "Burt," 5 missed calls and 3 texts from Finn, and 2 missed calls and 1 text from Blaine. I also noticed that it was already a little before 8pm.

"Wow," I said to Kurt. "So, who's Burt?"

"My dad," he said still staring at his phone.

"Well, time for your shots!" shouted Dr. Hallen happily. He's such a weirdo. "Kurt, I'm going to have to pull down your pants a bit to give you the shots."

"Oh," I said, "well, I'll wait outside. I think I've seen enough of your body today, Kurt. Mind if I borrow your phone to tell Jeff where I am. I kind of left mine in the room," I said laughing.

"Yeah, the battery is pretty low, so could you tell my dad I'm fine, too?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure," I said taking the phone and going into the waiting room.

I scrolled down the contacts list until I hit "Jeff." It rang maybe twice and he answered in a panic. "Kurt, there you are! Blaine has been freaking out because he can't find you anywhere and I can't find Nick so we are freaking out together. Where—"

I laughed. "Jeff, breathe. I'm—"

"Nick, where the hell are you?" he shouted cutting me off. "These kids that you are tutoring keep coming up to the room asking where you are. I had to put on a note on the door saying you were out today. Are you okay? You're not somewhere having a break down or something are you? Why do you have Kurt's phone? Nick? Say some—"

"JEFF!" I shouted over him. "I am fine. Kurt and I went to the health center because he's not feeling too well. Tell Blaine where he is so he stops freaking out too. I have to go. I have to call Kurt's dad."

"Oh okay," Jeff said. "Next time text me or something okay?"

"I will," I said. "I'm sorry that I made you worry like that. Now, I really have to go."

"Okay, bye," he said as he hung up.

I looked for "Burt" and hit call. He answered immediately. "Kurt! Why didn't you tell me you were sick, buddy?"

"This is Nick Duval," I said, nervously. "I'm a friend of Kurt's. I brought him to the doctor."

"Where is Kurt? Is he okay? The doctor said he would be fine," he said rushed and angrily.

"He's doing better. He's getting some shots for the infection now," I told him.

"What?" shouted Mr. Hummel. "What infection? The doctor just said he had a fever and was a little bruised up, but those were old. He didn't say anything about that."

"Oh, well, um, yeah," I said. "It's really not that bad."

"Kid, are you lying to me? I need to talk to my son to find out what is going on, or I need you to tell me what is going on," he said frustrated.

"Alright, Kurt got hurt at his old school, and the wound the guy left got infected and—"

"Wound? Kurt didn't tell me any of this!" he was so angry. It kind of scared me a bit, but I knew he was just worried about Kurt.

"It's fine now though so… Hello?" I said. The phone went dead. This was great. I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just said 'Hey Mr. Hummel, Kurt's doing great and we are headed back to the dorm, now.' But of course I made things complicated. I headed back to the room in hopes that they would be done giving Kurt the shots. They were both exiting the room with Kurt's prescriptions. Dr. Hallen went back to his office. Thank the Lord.

"So, how'd it go with my dad," Kurt asked smiling.

"Not very well," I said nervously and Kurt just laughed.

"He can be a little scary from what I've heard, but don't worry about it," Kurt said.

I didn't say anything else about the phone call with his dad, or his phone dying. I guess I'll leave that alone. "So what did the doctor say after I left?"

"Well, first he asked me how long we had been together," he laughed. That douche! "Then, he just explained that the shots would sting for the next day or so, and it would probably hurt to walk. He wrote out a prescription for something for my fever and something for my infection. He said that I shouldn't go to school until Wednesday or Thursday depending on how I feel."

I opened the door for Kurt, and I noticed Kurt was limping a bit from the shots. "So, Kurt, are you sure you're okay? Does it hurt for you to walk?" I asked worried.

"No, I'm fine. It just stings a little, and I'm really tired," Kurt replied.

"Oh, okay, well let's go, then," I said holding the door open for Kurt. "Since, we are excused from study hours, I can drive to the nearest Walgreens and get your prescriptions filled."

"Oh, no, I couldn't let you do that," Kurt said. "Especially, not after you took me here and missed all those tutoring sessions."

"Kurt, really, it's fine," I assured him. "You're too sick to drive, and you'd probably fall asleep at the wheel."

He smiled. "Fine, but I'll go with you."

"No, you don't have to," I said quickly. "You're tired. I'll bring them by your room when I get back."

"Okay," Kurt said while yawning. He really didn't know how to accept help from anyone, but then again, no one probably ever offered it to him either.

Bug was waiting with the golf cart to take us back. We got into the golf cart, and Bug drove off slowly. He might have been as tired as Kurt was. Kurt eventually fell asleep on me. I'm glad too, because he needed it. We got pretty close when the golf cart started making a noise and then eventually stopped. "I think it's out of gas," Bug turned and said to us waking Kurt up.

I sighed. "It's fine. I can carry him from here."

"No," Kurt yawned. "I can walk."

"Nope you're not walking. You're piggy backing," I said. "We aren't going anywhere until you get on my back."

"Fine," Kurt said. "This is so weird."

"It's better than seeing you in pain, Kurt," I told him as he got on my back. He wrapped his arms around my neck, and I hoisted him up, grabbing his legs "See you later, Bug."

"See you," he said.

"Kurt," I said, "has anyone told you that you weigh close to nothing?"

He laughed. "Yeah, Finn says I need to eat more all the time."

"I completely agree with him. It's not healthy to be this small," I said.

"I would never find the perfect boyfriend if I were fat, Nick," Kurt said.

"I'm sure Blaine wouldn't care if you were fat or not," I said jokingly.

"Blaine!" Kurt shouted. "I completely forgot that I was supposed to meet with him tonight! He's probably really mad."

"No, from what I heard he is freaking out and worried," I told Kurt. "Jeff told me when I called. I'm sure he will understand after you explain to him where you were."

"Yeah, and I told him that I'd tell him what happened at my old school, too. I don't know if I'm comfortable with that yet," he said sadly.

"Just tell him that then," I said. "Blaine will understand, Kurt. Stop worrying so much. Just focus on getting better, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," he said. "Thanks, Nick. We're here!"

I looked up at the dorm doors. I was going to open them somehow, but the receptionist guy from earlier got it for me. I thanked him and looked around the main lobby. There were two guys sitting on the couch. They were both pretty tall. The younger one had brown hair, and he looked in pretty good shape, like he played sports. The other man was a lot older and he looked bald under the baseball cap he was wearing. He was wearing a navy jacket that said "Hummel Lube and Tires." Was this Kurt's family?

"Dad!" Kurt shouted. "What are you doing here?"

**Author****'****s****Note:**The song was "It's Only Life" by Kate Voegele. So how'd you like it? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Let me know :)


	7. Get Well Soon

**A/N:**Exams are over! So, here's your next chapter, and I'm so sorry for the delay. My editor is amazing!

**Warning:** This story contains sexual assault, abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and strong language.

**Chapter 7: Get Well Soon**

**Kurt's POV**

"Dad!" I shouted. "What are you doing here?"

Dad looked up worried and hurried over to me and Nick. He stood in front of us and glared down at Nick. Great. He was going to yell at us, well, mainly Nick, I bet. "Are you Nick?" Dad asked frustrated. Nick quivered a bit. Either I was getting heavy or my dad really scared him.

"Yes, sir," Nick replied. "I'm extremely sorry about the phone. I didn't hang up! I swear! It just went dead, and there was nothing I could do. I didn't even know the doctor hadn't told you about everything. I'm sorry I—"

"So you are the one who took my boy to the doctor? Did you stay with him the whole time? You didn't leave him alone did you?" Dad raised his voice slightly, possibly more out of curiosity than anything else. Nick didn't take it that way because he looked down away from Dad at the floor.

Nick opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came down. He looked so nervous, or was that fear? I know my dad can be intimidating but…wait. The flashback at the mall had something to do with his dad. It wasn't my dad that was bothering him right now. Nick was probably remembering his own dad yelling at him or hurting him. He never really told me which, but it seemed pretty obvious which one it was. All I could think of right now is Nick's face when he fell to the ground in the mall that day. I remembered his labored breathing, him holding himself, and his eyes. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes begging me to stop hurting him, and I had no idea what to do. He looked so scared. Now, I felt him start to shake as my dad questioned him.

I jumped off of Nick's back surprising him. "Dad, stop it!" I yelled. "Nick was just trying to help me! If it wasn't for him, I'd probably be really sick right now. He has become a good friend of mine, and I don't want you to scare him away."

I was really quite surprised at myself for keeping such a stern face with my dad, especially since I could feel a shooting sensation of pain in both of my hips from those shots. I didn't falter at all or show the pain on my face, but Nick might have noticed. He smiled at me for saving him from my father's berating, and then gave me a worried look. I just smiled back at him letting him know I was okay and to say thanks.

"I'm sorry, kid," my dad said to Nick. He put a hand on Nick's shoulder causing Nick to flinch a little. "You gotta understand that Kurt's my son, and I was so worried when he wasn't answering his phone all afternoon. Then, a doctor calls my house late at night saying my boy had a fever, but they were givin' him some type of antibiotics to make him feel better. Finally, my phone rings and I'm thinkin' it's Kurt to tell me he's okay, but instead it's you. You, this boy I've never met, telling me my son has some sort of infection from a wound he already had! My little boy is sick, and for the first time I'm not even here to take care of him. It just reminded me of when my wife, his mother, passing away, and I just got so angry," Dad stopped and clenched his fists. He took a breath, took his hat off, and rubbed his head. "I'm sorry if I took that out on you, Nick. Thank you for takin' care of my boy."

Dad pulled Nick into what looked like a bone-crushing hug. Nick stood there in complete shock with his hands down at his sides. I didn't know if this would send him into a panic attack or what. My dad goes from yelling at him to apologizing and now he's squeezing Nick to death. My dad was such a big softy. I watched Nick's face carefully. He slowly wrapped his arms around my dad returning the hug, then, he smiled briefly. I wondered if anyone had every just held Nick like that. He had probably never been hugged by a father figure before.

After a moment, Burt let go of Nick, and he said, "No problem, Mr. Hummel."

Finn stood up and finally said, "Hey, how about we move this convo to Kurt's room?" Then he added in a whisper, "People are starting to start at us…"

I looked around to see if Finn was just exaggerating or something. He always cares so much about what other people think. Sometimes I wondered if he wouldn't go shopping with me because it was an all day thing or if he didn't want to go because he didn't want to be seen with me. I know now that Finn kind of cares about me, but old habits die hard. I wonder if he would change his tune about caring about me if we were in front of his friends or something.

I was taken out of my thoughts by Nick's voice. "You're right," he said looking toward the hallway. I looked over to see that there were boys just now finishing up their studying and heading up the stairs. They might have overheard us all since we were talking so loudly in the lobby. This day is just getting worse and worse.

"Yeah, let's go up to my room," I sighed shaking my head. I led the way to the elevators trying my best to hide my slight limp from the shots.

The golden elevator doors opened with a ding. The woman's computerized voice said, "First Floor Lobby." Dad let out an impressed whistle as if this was the first time he had seen something like this. I laughed and got in. Once we crammed into the elevator, I hit my floor button. "You know, Kurt," Finn said, "I'm glad you're too sick to take the stairs."

I'm absolutely positive that everyone shot him an angry glare. "FINN!" I shouted at him.

"What?" he asked. "Your room is a bit of a hike. You live, like on the top floor."

I pinched the bridge of my nose out of irritation and shook my head. "There is really something wrong with you."

"Yeah, I'm a little slow, but you love me," Finn nudged me with a smile.

"A little?" I scoffed.

"Hey!" Finn protested.

"I do love you, but only because I have to," I said making a face at him.

Finn wrapped his arm around me lightly trying his best not to hurt me. "Alright. I'll take what I can get," he said with a smile.

The elevator doors opened with a ding. "Fifth floor."

"Wow, Kurt," Dad said. "This is such a nice place. I wonder who found out about this place for you."

I laughed at Dad's attempt at sarcasm, and I led the way to my room door. I reach in my pocket for my keys. My eyes widened. They weren't there. Where are they? We'd been everywhere. They could be in the golf cart or at the doctor or in the lobby or outside on the ground somewhere. Oh my god! What am I going to do?

"What's wrong, buddy?" Dad asked me.

I turned around to face them all and said, "I don't know what I did with my keys." I looked down at my shoes hoping they would save me from Dad's talk of being responsible and keeping up with things. Plus, looking him in the face is what gets you. You don't look straight into the eyes of Burt Hummel; it's scary.

"Oh, I think they're in my room on my night stand," Nick said. I gave him a puzzled look so he continued. "You probably put them there before you fell asleep in my bed."

"But I don't remember taking them out of my pocket," I told him.

"Well, then, you might have done it in your sleep," he smiled. "Sleeping with keys in your pocket can't be comfortable."

"Oh, okay," I said. Nick certainly was interesting. Who would think like that right now? I'm freaking out in my head trying to place where they would be, and Nick comes up with this random but logical answer.

"I'll go check. I'll be right back," he said more to my dad and Finn than me. I guess he wanted to be polite in this awkward situation.

"So," Dad started, "you and this Nick. Are you two a thing?"

"What? Dad, no!" I said in an offended whisper. "I would have told you if I had 'a thing' with someone here."

"Yeah, I'm getting the feeling that they're dating, Burt," Finn interjected. "I mean he seems to really care about you. Did you see how he was carrying him, Burt?"

"Yeah, I noticed that," Dad said rubbed his head. "Now, he's talking about Kurt being in his bed." Dad's face contorted into an angry face realizing what he had just said. "Kurt Hummel, what were you doing in another boy's bed?"

"Dad, stop shouting!" I yelled. I added in an inside voice, "I didn't mean to fall asleep in Nick's bed. I just went to see him because I wasn't feeling well. Plus, I think I kind of just passed out more so than fell asleep." Dad looked completely concerned now. "When Nick got back to his room, he took me to the doctor. He carried me to the main lobby and part of the way back here because he insisted, and he thought I was having trouble walking." I actually still am having trouble standing right now. It hurts so much. I cannot wait to crawl in bed.

"Oh, okay," Dad said. "So, you and this boy are just friends?"

"Yes, friends," I answered him, slowly, putting emphasis on the word "friends."

"Sure, Kurt," Finn said, winking.

"Finn, what are you talking about, and what are you winking about?" I asked him giving him a look that hopefully said "what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I reading in between the lines while you were telling your story," he said. "Well, listening in between the lines."

Burt laughed. I sighed irritated. "Finn, please, enlighten us on what _you_ thought I was saying."

"Well, _obviously_, you have a key to Nick's room because how else would you have gotten in there way before Nick had gotten back? You had time to take a nap and everything. And you—"

"This is just too hilarious," Nick said from behind Finn. "Mr. Hummel, Finn, Kurt and I are really just friends plus I'm straight, and he's gay so it would never work out anyway. Even if Kurt is really smart and could probably keep up with me in a conversation about politics and science and has absolutely flawless hair, we could never be together." He winked at me handing me my keys. I decided to play along since he was enjoying my family's confusion.

I grabbed the keys and said, "Yeah, even if Nick's eyes and dark, brown emo hair are a really hot, we could never be together."

I opened the door and Dad laughed and walked in with Finn saying, "See, Finn, nothing is going on between them."

Finn looked at Dad and back at me and Nick who were smiling at each other. "But, Burt, weren't they just kind of flirting with each other just now 'cause they—"

"Finn, let it go," Dad cut him off. Nick and I laughed. Poor Finn. Nick's hand was really cold when I got the keys from him. Why was he...shit. I'm wearing his coat. I've been wearing his coat this entire time. Why didn't he say anything? He must have been freezing! I threw my keys on my desk and took off his coat.

"Hey, Nick here's your coat," I said holding it out to him.

"Thanks," he said. He reached in one of the pockets and handed me the contents. "Here, these are your prescriptions. You might need those."

"Oh, yeah," I said, "I forgot about those." I took them from him looking them over.

"Hey, Finn," Dad said while looking straight at me. "Why don't you take Kurt's prescriptions and get them filled? Kurt and I need to have a little talk about this 'wound' he got while he was at McKinley."

Damn it. I completely forgot about the whole lobby conversation. I groan and collapsed onto my bed with my face in the pillows. I guess I needed to tell my dad everything. Oh, my gosh! I was going to tell Blaine everything, too! How did I forget about Blaine? I couldn't possibly look Blaine in the eye, his beautiful hazel eyes, and tell him all of this. He definitely wouldn't be able to handle that baggage. I guess that's really for Blaine to decide. At least after I told him, I would have at least tried. For now, I could practice on my dad which, in my opinion, was going to be even harder than telling Blaine. I really didn't want my dad to ever find out, but he, at least, deserved to know why he had to drive a little over two hours. I hope he doesn't look at me differently or something. I don't want my own dad's pity because that'd be awkward. And his heart is bad so I don't know how he will take it. Will he be angry with me or something? I guess there's only one way to find out. I let out a deep sigh, sat up on the bed, and said, "Yeah, we need to talk."

"Do I have to leave right now?" Finn whined.

"Yes, Finn_,__go_," Dad said firmly. Finn didn't ask any questions after Dad turned and looked him in the eyes. He left the room in such a rush.

"Well, I better go, too," Nick said, walking toward the door. "It's getting late and I'll leave you and your dad to talk. Good night."

"Nick, wait!" I yelled. "I, um…can you stay?" He turned around and just stared at me questioningly so I continued. "It's just I think you deserve to know what happened, especially after tonight. You missed study hours and tutoring. You probably have so much homework you didn't get to do, and I can't help but think that it's completely my fault."

"Kurt, I wanted to help you. You're my friend, and you needed the help," Nick said with a smile. "You don't owe me anything."

"I do," I said. "I owe you an explanation."

"No, you don't owe me anything, really," Nick said.

"Okay, but can you stay anyway?" I asked him. "I might need you for emotional support or something. Plus, you've been a really good friend to me here, and I need someone to know what happened. I need a friend to know."

Nick walked over to the desk, which was a few feet from the side of the bed, and he took a seat in the chair. "Sure, I'll stay," he finally agreed.

Yes! I was so glad he was there. Telling my dad alone would have been horrible. He'd probably get so angry and throw a chair, most likely the chair that Nick was sitting in. He might go on some sort of rampage while I was breaking down. Maybe Nick would keep us both calm. Hopefully, I wouldn't cry my eyes out, and my dad would break anything.

"Here goes," I whispered. "Dad, you should sit. It's not really a long story, but I just don't like talking about it. It might take me a minute to get it all out. Please try your best to stay calm, too. I know you don't want the details, but I need to get this all out. Please don't interrupt me either. If I stop, I don't know if I'll be able to keep going."

Dad walked over to me and said, "Okay kiddo, I'll try my best." He took a seat on the bed next to me and across from Nick.

I turned towards them sitting in Indian style. I played with my hands nervously in my lap and told myself to breathe. "So, of course, I was bullied at my old school which is why I am here at Dalton. It's safe and nice and I like it here," I smiled to myself, thinking of all the friends I've made so quickly. "There was this one guy on the football team who was always just a tad bit over the top. He was the one who started the whole shoving me into the lockers thing. All the jocks either called me names, booed at me, slushied me or shoved me, but his shoves would leave me with these ugly bruises. Most of the name calling was just someone saying it as they walked passed me in the hallway, but he and his friends would stop they're entire day, walk over to me, and just mess with me for a while. I didn't think anything of at it the time. But one day he shoved me so hard that my head banged against the lockers pretty hard. I guess me being hit in the head so hard is what made me respond the way I did." I paused for a moment swallowing hard, trying to prepare myself for what happened next. "I had fallen down, and he leaned down and whispered something in my ear and called me a 'fag.' It hurt. It was the first time I had ever heard it said to me. I got angry so I ran after him. I confronted him about it, telling him that he couldn't punch the gay out of me or anyone. We argued and he—" my voice was hitched in my throat. I sniffed. I heard my dad's knuckles crackle in anticipation to hear what that monster had done to me. I don't know when I even started crying. I wiped my eyes and continued. "He kissed me and stuff." I stopped I couldn't keep going that was enough. I didn't want to remember or break down.

"What do you mean 'and stuff,' Kurt?" Dad asked loudly. He sounded so angry. I couldn't look him in the eye. "Kurt?"

"Stuff, Dad, Stuff!" I yelled, crying. "He …I pushed him away after he kissed me, but he grabbed me. And he took my shirt off a little bit, and he—he groped me and licked me and sunk his teeth into me and starting sucking on my shoulder—he threatened to kill me, Dad! If I told, he said he'd kill me! I'm sorry I didn't tell you that day. I really am."

Dad grabbed me and held me tight while I cried. He normally didn't do that. He just pats my shoulder or something and leaves me alone, but he hugged me. "It's okay, Kurt. I'm glad you told me." He sounded so sad, not angry at all. He didn't even ask to see it which was great because I didn't want to show him. I gripped him as tightly as I could and cried harder. "Sssh, it's gonna be okay, kid."

We sat like that for what seemed like an hour or so, but it couldn't have been that long. Dad suddenly let go of me and looked me in the eyes. "Kurt, you know I gotta ask. Who did this to you, Kurt?" He asked me sadly. He didn't look or sound as if he was referring to the bruises or that stupid bite. It sounded like he was talking about my mental state. It was like he was asking who had reduced me to this boy in front of him. I was a mess, and Dad knew it, too.

I kept trying to say something anything, but I couldn't say his name. My door opened. "It was Karofsky, Burt. He did it," Finn said as he closed the door. He walked over to the desk and tossed my medicine on it.

Dad got up quickly from the bed and walked over to Finn and grabbed his collar. "You knew? You knew he did this to my boy and you didn't tell me? Why Finn? What were you doing, Finn?"

"I walked in on it or whatever!" Finn yelled. "I must have scared him off 'cause he stopped and ran off."

"But you—" Dad started but I cut him off.

"Dad, stop!" I yelled. "Finn, didn't really know what happened until this past weekend, and even then, I didn't really tell him much at all. Don't yell at Finn. It's my fault. I should have told you. I'm sorry about all this."

"Son, you have nothing to apologize for. It's fine. I just…it's fine," Dad said.

"I want to press charges, Kurt. This boy can't feel like he got away with this. He's still at school! Finn, how do you play on the same team as him knowing what he did? Kurt, don't you want some type of justice?" Dad asked frustrated.

"No, Dad, I don't," I said shaking my head. "I want to put it behind me. I don't want to talk about it anymore or make it complicated. It's over. I'm here. I'm safe. Everything is okay."

Dad sat back down on the bed with me. "Are you sure, Kurt?"

"Yes, I'm positive," I said and he ruffled my hair.

"Really, Dad," I said. "I look horrible from all the crying, and you decided to ruffle my hair making me look even worse which I didn't think was possible at this point."

"Sorry, kid," Dad said, and he and Finn laughed. Dad hugged me tightly again.

I heard Nick's chair squeak as he turned around towards the desk away from me. Maybe he couldn't look at me anymore. I looked horrible, but I didn't care at this point. It might have been a lot for him to take in or something. Plus, my dad's random bursts of anger most likely freaked him out. He'll probably start avoiding me in the hallways now or something.

"Here," Nick said, holding out a box of tissues.

I looked up at him and he looked so concerned. I let go of Dad which made me feel so lonely and afraid, and I took some tissues to wipe my nose and eyes. I blew my nose, and Dad and Nick smiled while Finn made a disgusted face. "Thanks," I said to Nick handing him the tissue box back. He spun back around to put them back on the desk.

"Kurt, can I use your laptop really quick," Nick asked.

"Yeah," I said slowly. I watch carefully as he opened it up and went to the school website. He opened up my schedule and my email. "Nick, what are you doing?"

"I'm typing up an e-mail to all of your teachers telling them that you will not be able to attend classes for the next 2 or 3 days, so you will need make-up work, which your friends will pick up at the end of class and bring to you. I figured you didn't want to be bothered with it," he said quickly as he finished typing.

"Wow, um, thanks," I said. There he goes again being all straight to the point. It's nice though that he's not continuous saying "I'm sorry" or "It'll be okay." Him emailing my teachers about it is just a Nick-like-way of showing he cares. And I completely forgot about school and everything. That's right! School! "Wait! I can't miss 2 to 3 days. I can be at 100% after 24 hours of rest! I really can," I said panicked.

"But you said the doctor told you not to go to school until Wednesday or Thursday," Nick said.

"Kurt," Dad said, "when I talked to the doctor on the phone, he said that you should wait until at least Friday to go back."

"Oh, well, the little excuse note says it's good 'til Monday," Finn said. I glared at him. "What? It does, and it's not my fault it was with your prescription papers."

"Kurt," Dad said slowly. Crap, I'm caught. I was really stressing him out so, I might as well tell the truth.

"Um, well," I said, slowly. "Honestly, at first he thought I should stay in bed until Friday, yes. But I told him that school was hard and that I didn't need to miss any school. I told him that I was sure I'd be fine in a day or so. He agreed, but he still gave me an excuse that lasted until Monday if I needed it." I looked away from the both of them.

"Kurt, you need to allow your body time to heal from all this, and your mind too," Dad said in his all-knowing voice.

"I know, Dad," I replied.

"Good," He said standing up. "Then, you won't mind if I commission your friend, Nick, here, to look after you for a few days. You will not return to school until at least Thursday. And you," he said pointing at Nick, "will make sure that he gets rest and doesn't go to school until Thursday. Everyone agree?"

"Yes, sir," Nick and I said. Of course I said it much more sadly than Nick. He seemed perfectly content with the arrangement.

"Good," Dad said with a smile. "It's time for Finn and I to hit the road. Nick, get my number from Kurt. If he gets any worse I wanna know about it."

"Alright," Nick said softly.

"Well, see you kiddo," Dad said as he and Finn headed out the door.

"Don't you and Nick stay up too late, Kurt," Finn said winking at me.

"Let it go, Finn," Dad said closing my door leaving Nick and I alone.

"So what do you think of my dad?" I asked Nick jokingly.

"He really cares about you," was all Nick said before heading to the door.

"You headed to your room?" I said yawning.

"Yeah, you look exhausted, and need some rest. I need to go back to my room and let Jeff know everything is alright because he is probably freaking out," Nick said. "Good night, Kurt."

"Good night, Nick, and thank you," I said crawling under my covers, yawning again.

"No problem." He turned out the lights and left.

I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, emotionally drained from this day. I think all in all this was the worst first day of school ever.

**Blaine****'****s****POV**

Wow. Just wow. I sat back down in my bed and let everything that just happened sink in. This afternoon Kurt had missed our little meeting thing we had talked about so I called, but he never answered. I was freaking out! I was worried that he just didn't gather the courage to come talk to me or something, so I went to his room. He wasn't there. I searched the kitchen, the cafeteria, the gym, the library, and finally the study rooms where I ran into Jeff. He was looking for Nick because of all the students knocking on his door asking for him. He suggested we wait in his room so, I followed him up. There was sign on his door that said, "Hey creepers! Nick is not here!" Jeff and I thought of all sorts of crazy places they could be. We thought that Nick had gone to roof and just locked himself up there to get away from all the kids he had to tutor. We thought that Kurt however had gotten lost somewhere on campus while going for a walk. That wasn't funny to me. In fact it made me worry even more. We went to go find Wes or David to see if they had seen either of the boys. Wes was in a section of the gym for his jujitsu meeting, and after flipping Jeff over for interrupting, he said that he hadn't seen them. David was just getting coffee in the kitchen, and said that he hadn't seen the boys either, but he suggested that they might be together. I texted Kurt telling him that Jeff and I were worried about where he and Nick were and that if they were together to let me know. I still got nothing, so we went back to Jeff's room to wait. As soon as we got back Jeff's phone rang, and it was Kurt! My first thought was about why Kurt would call Jeff and not me. It made me sad until I found out what happened. Kurt was sick, and Nick had taken him to the doctor. Jeff said that it made since though because the last time he saw Kurt, he was in his room waiting for Nick. Why Jeff neglected to mention that before is a mystery to me. We would have saved a lot of time if we had known that from the beginning. He was an idiot. I felt relieved to know where they were but at the same time I was even more worried because Kurt was sick, and I wasn't there to help him. Nick was. I was slightly jealous of Nick for a moment, but that was silly. Nick was a friend helping a friend, nothing more. But still I wish I was the one there to help Kurt in his time of need, like right now. Kurt needed someone right now.

I heard everything, Kurt's entire story of what happened at his old school. Well, not everything just the louder parts like where Kurt shouted at his dad about the "stuff." I felt so horrible. Why would anyone do something like that to anyone, especially Kurt? He just attacked him. If his brother hadn't walked in, I wonder how far the boy would have gone. I couldn't help but think that Kurt was almost raped, and he didn't even report it. Did he think the school wouldn't do anything about it? They should do something about it! But, poor Kurt, wouldn't want to go to trial or a hearing or anything like that. I wouldn't want to put him through it, but I think getting justice would make him feel a lot better. Sure, he's here at Dalton now, but what about when he goes home for the holidays? Would he feel safe in the same town as the boy who did that to him? Is he even okay now? He just cried for at least an hour or so, and told his dad everything. I wish I could have been there with him until he fell asleep or that I could have held him while he cried. I wouldn't have asked him anything after he told me. We would have sat there together, and I would have just comforted him. But I wasn't there, and he doesn't know that I know. But I wanted him to know that I was there for him whenever he needed to talk or just cry it out. I would be there. I was right next door which is why I had heard everything. We shared a wall, a very thin wall.

I wondered why Thad didn't wake up from all that. I looked over to his bed, and he was sound asleep. That couldn't be. He must have heard something. I walked over to his bed to see if he was just pretending to be asleep. I tripped a few times because the room was so dark. "Thad. Thad," I whispered while poking his side or leg or whatever it was. "Thad are you awake?" I asked louder. I noticed he had on headphones so he probably couldn't hear me. I slowly took them off his ears, but the cord seemed to be wrapped around his arm or something. I reached over his head and started unwrapping the cord from his arm.

"Blaine, what are you doing?" Thad asked.

"Oh, I'm unwrapping this cord from around your arm," I said.

"Why ya doin' that Blainers?" Thad asked.

"Don't call me—" Oh my gosh. He was awake! I was talking to him, and I was still unraveling this damned cord. What the hell was wrong with me? "Sorry, I just wanted to get your attention to ask you something."

Thad sat up. "So, in order to get my attention, you walked over to my bed and started randomly touching my arm?"

"No! not at first, anyway," I said with a sigh. "I didn't know if you were awake so I walked over here, called your name, noticed you were wearing headphones, so I took them off to get you to hear me if you were awake."

"Ah! Okay," Thad said. "So what do you want?"

"Oh, um, did you hear any of that commotion in the hall or Nick and Kurt getting back from the doctor?" I asked quickly.

"No, I had my headphones on to drown out you whining!" He said loudly. " The constant ramblings of 'Thad do you think he's okay?' and 'Thad, what's taking them so long?' and my favorite 'Where are they?' You were just getting on my nerves so I drowned you out a long time ago."

"…sorry," I said. "Thanks for comforting me in my time of worry though."

"Any time, Blaine, any time," Thad said, "so is that all you wanted to know?"

"Oh yeah," I said, "that's it."

"Good," Thad said with a smile. "Could you maybe get the hell away from me and shut up, so I can get some sleep without my headphones in? They kind of hurt my ears."

I sighed. "Sure, Thad. Sure. You are such a jerk sometimes."

"Only when it's fucking up my sleep patterns," he smiled and rolled over. "Good night Blaine." Yes, it was true. Thad was a pretty cool guy unless you interrupted him sleeping. I don't know what it was with him and sleep. But I guess after working so hard for the last 3 years at Dalton that he was just catching up on his sleep this year. I got back in my bed thinking about Kurt again. I really wanted to see him, but he was probably asleep. Plus, it'd be strange if I just knocked on his door late at night asking if he wanted to talk about stuff. I, also, wanted to suggest to him that the next time he and Nick go off on an adventure or something to leave a detailed note explaining where they are.

It was morning, finally. I am definitely not a morning person. I was just glad that I got to see Kurt. I showered quickly and quietly so I wouldn't disturb Thad's precious sleep. I got dressed and looked in my mirror. My hair looked extra curly so of course I had to use extra gel to tame that beast living on my head. Geez, I really need a haircut. I wonder if I could just go, not bald, but cut very low to my head or something like that. I don't know much about hair so I'll have to ask Jeff or something. Well, no. I'll just Google first, then, go to Jeff as a last resort.

Mhmm. Medium roast Foldgers. It's not too great, but it's all we had. It was better than no coffee at all. Most people thought that high school students didn't need to drink coffee because it stunted your growth. Whatever, I drank coffee every morning, and I was just fine. I took a deep breath into my cup enjoying the smell.

"Morning, Blaine!" Wes shouted. He was matching quite nicely today. He had on bunny slippers, his bunny apron, and his navy, fluffy pj pants that were also covered in bunnies.

"Wes, you normally are dressed before breakfast. Why the change?" I asked.

David came in saying, "Yes, Wesley, why aren't we dressed before breakfast?" I looked over at David who was wearing his shirt, blazer and tie, but he was also in his pajama pants.

"I had a little accident that involved our pants, so I had to wash them. I forgot to put them in the dryer last night so they are drying now," Wes said looking away from David. "Simple as that." Wes started mixing things. I really hoped we had pancakes today, or something Kurt likes. I could bring him breakfast in bed! That'd be great, and I'd get to see him first thing in the morning. And I'd get to see him yawn in that cute way he did when Finn was over this weekend.

"Blaine," David said as he poured a cup of coffee. "Did you and Jeff ever find Nick and Kurt?"

"Oh, um, well—" I started to explain, but then I was quickly cut off by Jeff.

"This little guy wandered in my room late last night," Jeff said, dragging Nick into the kitchen.

"Morning, everyone," Nick said. He sounded so tired. I wondered if he had gotten any sleep at all. I barely got any, thinking of Kurt all night, but Nick probably didn't sleep a wink. "Coffee, please," he said holding out his mug to me.

"Sure," I said and I poured him a cup. "How's Kurt?"

"He's doing better. The doctor said that he would have to miss school for a few days though," Nick replied, not really looking at anyone. He sat down at the table trying to keep his eyes open.

"Hey, Nick, maybe you should take the day off or at least the morning," Jeff suggested as he sat next to Nick.

"I'm fine," Nick snapped. "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way."

"It's cool," Jeff said turning away.

"Breakfast is ready!" Wes shouted breaking the awkward silence. "What is this whole Kurt going to the doctor thing about? Is he okay? Is he alright? What happened?"

We all turned to Nick for an explanation and he sighed. He picked up a plate and started piling on different foods that Wes had prepared. "Kurt had a really high fever yesterday afternoon so, I took him to the doctor. They gave him meds, and told him to get some rest."

"Oh," David said, blinking surprised. "Why didn't you text us or call us about it?"

"I left my phone here, and I was too distracted by Kurt. Plus, we got back really late and I didn't want to wake or bother any of you," Nick explained.

I noticed Nick wrapping up the plate he had prepared in Saran wrap. "Nick, I could take that to Kurt if you want."

"No, it's fine. I got it. I have to make sure he takes his meds anyway," he said as he finished wrapping up the plate. Damn, I really wanted to find an excuse to bust into Kurt's room and talk to him. This would have been perfect. "See you guys later," Nick said as he left in a rush.

"Bye," Jeff said after him.

"Jeff what's wrong?" Wes asked him. I looked up to see that Jeff hadn't eaten anything at all, and this kid was a garbage disposal. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Wes, I'm fine," He smiled forcefully. "I'm just a little worried about Nick."

"You're always worried about him," David said. "He'll be fine once he gets some sleep. Blaine, your class is going to start soon you might want to finish getting ready."

"What are you talking about I am—" I forgot to put on my shoes. I rushed out saying thanks to Wes for breakfast.

Classes were a drag. It was like they were extra boring just because. It was awful. At least Jeff would give me a pick me up at lunch, or I could skip. I could go and see Kurt! Why didn't I think of this earlier? I'd just grab him one of those pre-bagged lunches. No, a salad. Kurt loves salad. I didn't see the appeal in leaves with dressing on them, but that was just me. I ran to the dorm and up the stairs. I felt like the happiest kid alive. Nothing could bring me down, right?

As I reached Kurt's door, Nick was coming out of it locking the door. "Hey, Blaine, what's up?" He asked.

"I was actually coming to see Kurt," I said.

"Oh, well he just took his meds so he's probably getting really tired," Nick said as he started to walk away.

"I just want to talk to him really quick or just see him. I just want to make sure he's doing okay. I even bought him this salad," I said to Nick. Why was he being protective of Kurt? I just wanted to talk to him. Oh. Nick doesn't want me to upset Kurt by asking him about the other night. That was it. I wasn't planning on bringing that up today at all.

"I already gave him lunch, and Kurt probably just wants to be left alone," Nick said and he turned and headed towards his room.

I grabbed his arm and whispered, "Nick, I know."

"You know?" he asked.

"I heard everything last night…everything," I said slowly.

"Let's go to my room and talk," Nick said. We got to his room and he offered me a seat at the desk so I took it. "So, you know?" he asked again.

"Yes, I know about everything. I heard you guys talking last night. I could hear it in my room. I wasn't standing outside his door eavesdropping or anything like that. It's just we are neighbors, and …yeah," I explained.

"So, you understand why I didn't want you to go in there before, right?" Nick asked. "I mean it's obvious that you really like Kurt. I just didn't want you to remind him of everything by asking him more about the doctor and more about what happened. I don't think he can handle going through all of that again. You heard. He cried for hours, Blaine. I can't let him go through that again. It was awful. Please, don't make him tell you just yet," Nick requested.

"If it will make Kurt get better faster, then, I won't," I said. "We were going to talk about it yesterday, but he got sick. He was going to tell me about why he freaked out when that boy shoved him into the lockers and everything." I sighed. "I like Kurt a lot. I want to be with him, but after hearing everything that I did, I think I should wait. I don't think he could handle being with someone right now. I don't want him to flinch every time I reach out to hold his hand or touch him or kiss him. I don't want to bring up those memories. I think he needs time," I told Nick. I honestly believed that too. I wish I could just make him forget about that guy and everything that happened, but that's not how life works.

"I think you should let Kurt make that decision on his own. Maybe he can handle a relationship with you, Blaine, maybe not. The point is you should tell him soon before another guy swoops in and takes him from you," Nick joked.

"Yeah, another gay guy who is also crushing on Kurt is just going to come by Kurt's room tomorrow, and confess his undying love to him. Yeah right," I said.

"I don't know, Blaine," Nick said. "Cam is in our first period and he seemed pretty worried about Kurt when the teacher said he would be out for a few days."

"What?" I shouted standing up out of the chair. Shit! I needed to get to Kurt before another guy did come around.

"I'm kidding, sort of," Nick said. "The point is that you should tell him how you feel."

"I know," I said, "just not right now. I'll let him know as soon as he is better."

"Alright," he said. "Class is about to start soon so we better head out."

"Oh yeah," I said looking at my phone. "You're right!"

We grabbed our stuff and hurried out of his room. "Nick, why didn't you go to your class that you have during me, Kurt, and Jeff's lunch?"

"Oh that," he said locking his door. "We had to meet with our group members during class that we chose for a project we are doing. Me, myself, and I are my group members, and we have many meetings in my mind all the time so I went to see Kurt."

"Oh, okay," I said laughing. Nick should really trust other people with some of his work. I was glad he was taking time out for Kurt, too.

"Tomorrow, though, could you bring Kurt lunch? I might actually have to go to class tomorrow, and eat my own lunch," he said. "I spent my lunch break picking up Kurt's morning make-up work."

"Oh, yeah I can bring him lunch," I said a little too eagerly. "Kurt and I almost have the exact same afternoon schedule so I can pick up his afternoon work, too."

"Thanks, Blaine," Nick said relieved.

"It's no trouble, and I want to do it," I said, "for Kurt."

"Cool," he said, "I'll see you at dinner."

"See you," I said as I waved happily.

I went to class and, without Kurt there, paying attention was a lot easier, but it felt weird not having him there. I know he had just gotten here and I should have been used to it, but it was nice knowing someone in class. It was even better having a texting buddy especially in history. I stayed a little later after class, and all of our teachers seemed to know that I was getting his make-up work. It was like Nick planned the whole thing. Knowing him, he probably did. Both David and Nick always thought so far ahead. I wish I could do that, and be prepared for pretty much anything. I guess they have to be to deal with Wes and Jeff all the time. Jeff is constantly getting in trouble in public places for his behavior towards women, and Wes is really clumsy and always making messes, and getting into everything. But for some reason, their friendships worked. They balanced each other out. I was always just kind of an extra guy, not really needed. I hoped that Kurt and I could be perfect for each other in that sense as well.

I looked down at my watch realizing that I was late for dinner. I rushed around the corner and bumped into someone. It was a woman. I think it was the counselor. "I'm so sorry, Ms. Clemmings," I said picking up Kurt's scattered papers.

She just smiled and leaned down and helped me pick them up, reading one of them. "It's fine," she finally said. "You're not Kurt Hummel." She handed me one of the pieces of paper.

"No, ma'am," I laughed. "I'm Blaine Anderson, a friend of his." I picked up the remaining papers quickly. I didn't like how nosy this woman was being.

"How is Kurt doing?" she asked.

"He's actually sick so, I am bringing him his make-up work later," I said, eying her. Why did she even want to know that? Ms. Clemmings certainly was being strange.

"Oh, send him my best," she said as she walked away. "Good seeing you, Mr. Anderson."

After that strange meeting, I headed to the dining hall happier than ever. I definitely deserved a fat greasy burger today with extra fries. I quickly forgot about my run-in with the counselor. I grabbed a seat at our usual table and everyone was already there, and almost done eating.

"What's with the rush today?" I asked.

"Well, since there is no Warbler practice today, we are free to do whatever we want!" Jeff said happily.

"Yep, you all are free from our control until tomorrow," Wes said happily.

"Well, we will see you guys later," David said standing up. "Wes and I have some things we need to catch up on."

"Oh yeah!" Wes said excitedly as he stood to follow David out. "See you later!"

"Bye," I said sadly waving.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you Blaine, but Nick and I aren't staying either," Jeff said sadly. Nick gave him a questioning glance. "Yeah, I need Nick to help me with some homework stuff."

"But, you never ask Nick for homework help," I said.

"This one is a real doozy Blaine and I'll need all the help I can get," Jeff said getting up.

"Well, I guess I'm going to go help Jeff," Nick said. "Here is Kurt's dinner and his room key. He'll probably be passed out or loopy from the meds so don't like, take advantage of him or anything."

"I'm slightly offended by that, Nick!" I said jokingly. "I'd never do that!"

He laughed. "I know. See you later okay?"

"Kay," I said. As they left I realized that I could officially go see Kurt. I've been waiting all day.

I rushed out of the cafeteria and up to his room. I took a deep breath as I unlocked the door. I opened the door and turned on the light. "Kurt?" I asked. "I brought you dinner."

"Blaine?" Kurt asked sleepily. He sounded worried.

"Yeah, it's me," I said smiling. "Nick had to help Jeff with something."

"Oh, don't come any closer, just hang on," he said as rushed to the bathroom. He was probably brushing his teeth and combing his hair or something. I was fine with what he looked like before. I didn't care about all that other stuff I just want to make sure he was okay. I took a seat on his bed.

He came out of the bathroom after a few minutes of primping and breathlessly said, "Hi!"

"Hey," I said. I stared in his eyes for what seemed like longer than a minute.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked.

"Sorry, it's just you have the most amazing blue eyes. I couldn't help it," I said, outloud. I wasn't supposed to say that at all…

He just smiled. "Thanks," he said as he sat on the bed next to me.

His smile was wonderful as well. If we were ever going to talk about anything, I would have to stop staring at him. "Hi," I said again.

"We already went through that Blaine," He said, laughing.

"Oh yeah," I said. I need to get this out. "Um, Kurt, are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said looking away. "I'm fine. The medicine helps. I'm actually more tired than I am hungry right now."

"Oh, okay," I said. It looks like he's not ready to talk about it yet. I thought so. "Hey, you remember the other day before you go sick you said you were going to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah, I remember, I just," he stopped, he looked so sad.

"It's fine you don't have to talk about it now," I said reaching out for his hand. "Whenever you want to tell me is fine. If you ever want to talk about anything, let me know, Kurt."

"I will, Blaine," he said as he intertwined our fingers. "I will." He looked up from our hands and smiled at me. I leaned towards Kurt and the door came open.

"KURT!" Jeff shouted. "When Nick told me you weren't going to be at school today because you were ill, I just had to come see you. But I didn't want to come empty handed so Nick and I got into my car—"

"I was forced into the car," Nick interrupted.

"And then, we ran around the mall trying to find get well gifts. I got you these balloons and this cute card telling you how awesome you are," Jeff finished, pretending like he didn't even hear Nick. I looked down and noticed that Kurt had let go of my hand in the middle of their story. I missed his gentle fingers in my hand.

"What did you get me, Nick?" Kurt teased in a cute voice. Nick was holding this abnormally large teddy bear. He looked awkward and embarrassed.

"Here," Nick said shoving the bear at Kurt, blushing and looking away. "I didn't know what to get you that would make you feel better, but I remember how you looked so peaceful when you were hugging your dad so, I figured a bear would be good. You could, you know, hug it at night when you're sad or whatever."

"Thank you, Nick. I love it," Kurt said hugging the bear. He was so adorable.

Wes and David came in having a similar story to Jeff and Nick's. Of course David drove because no one trusts Wes's driving. He's so easily distracted.

"David, see, see! That's the bear I wanted to get for Kurt!" Wes shouted grabbing David's arm and pointing at the bear.

"I know, Wes, I believe you," David said calming Wes down. "Here, ya go Kurt. We got you cards."

"And flowers!" Wes shouted so loudly that I covered my ears.

"Yes, and flowers," David said as he pulled a crystal vase from behind his back. He placed them on Kurt's nightstand. Kurt watched and stared at the flowers, mesmerized. It was a beautiful arrangement of daisies, lilies, and such, but Kurt was looking at it like he had never seen flowers before. Did he not like them?

"It was supposed to be a surprise, but I guess I ruined it," Wes said sadly. "I'm sorry, David."

David just smiled and said, "It's okay, Wes."

Kurt looked at the vase and reached out to touch one of the flowers. He looked so happy. "No one's ever given me flowers before! Thank you so much. All of you thank you. I don't know how I'll ever repay you for this."

"You can repay us by getting better soon," Nick said.

"Yes, do get better soon, Kurt," David said.

"Heck, yeah, I need you at lunch. Blaine can be boring," Jeff said.

"Hey!" I said offended.

"I speak the truth, Blaine, only the truth," Jeff replied. I gave him a death glare. I am so not boring.

"Well, Jeff and I have to catch up on work, so we'll see you later," Nick said walking in between me and Jeff.

"We've got to go do work, too," Wes said sadly. "See you later, Kurt. Don't be sick forever okay?"

"Alright, I'll see you guys later," Kurt said. "Thanks again for the gifts."

They left Kurt and I alone again. I stood up and turned to Kurt. I reached down, and pulled his head forward. I almost kissed his forehead but that wouldn't be right. I liked Kurt, but I didn't want to put anything else on his plate right now. I ended up just pulling his head into my chest, hugging him tightly.

"Take care of yourself, Kurt, for me," I said as I gently caressed his hair. "I've got to go work on some things, but I'll be back when I can, okay?"

"Okay, Blaine," he said yawning. "See you later." He grabbed his new teddy bear and held it close as he drifted off. I turned off his lights and closed his door. As soon as I got back to my room, I had already started to miss him.


	8. Overload

**A/N: ** Hey thanks for reading. Please read and review! I didn't like this chapter too much, but you guys let me know what you think.

**Warning:** This story contains sexual assault, abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and strong language.

**Chapter 8: Overload **

**Nick's POV**

Yesterday and today felt like one long continuous day. It's probably because I still haven't slept yet, not since Sunday night anyway. I don't count that nap I took in Jeff's car on the way to the mall and back for Kurt's get well soon gift because I could hear everything around me, but it was still nice to not think for a while. I was back in my room, and I was having trouble concentrating on the novel I had to read for English. I put the book down and turned around towards Jeff's side of the room. It was clean for once. When did he have the time to clean it? How did I miss that? I looked over at Jeff. He was sitting on his bed against his headboard with his headphones in sketching away happily. I wish I was that care free, but I wasn't, and I didn't have the time to wish for such things.

I turned back to my desk, and looked up at my calendar. Okay, it was Wednesday. For English tomorrow, I have to finish reading this novel or novella or whatever the hell English teachers thought _Heart __of __Darkness_ was classified under. I had to write a German essay, too. The calendar said that the German essay was due, but I thought I had given myself two nights to write it. If it was due tomorrow, that meant I only had tonight to summarize an idea in English, write the idea out in essay form in German, and review it. Shit. I ruffled my hair in irritation. I grabbed the little, green sticky note about the essay, balled it up, and threw it at Jeff.

"Hey, what was that for?" He asked laughing and tossing it back to me. He turned down his music, and looked up at me.

"Nothing," I said.

"Well, since the sticky note is green that means it's a German problem!" Jeff laughed. "What's up?"

I smiled through my frustration at Jeff. I kept my calendar very organized which included color coating. I wrote in different colors and I left reminders on different color sticky notes that corresponded with the pen color I wrote in, and the color of that tab in my binder. It was extremely anal, I know. What was interesting though is that Jeff had memorized every color for every subject. Yeah, sometimes he confused colors from previous years, but it was cool to me that he even bothered. What was the point in knowing?

"Have you written your German essay?" I asked him.

"Oh, yeah!" Jeff said. "Blaine couldn't use you as a German dictionary the other night so, he used me. We ended up writing our essays together while you were gone with Kurt."

"Blaine has a German essay due, too?" I asked. "But he's not in our class. We're in German II and he's in German I."

"Oh, yeah, but the teacher is still the same," Jeff replied. "He apparently decided to assign his German I, II, and III students with essays all at the same time. It's nice in a way because we could use each other. Blaine and I, both, wrote letters to our imaginary German grandmothers about school, love interests, food, and Warbler stuff. Our essays are pretty much the same, but it doesn't matter 'cause we're in two different classes! It's great. I hope you didn't pick the same prompt as we did because then he will really think we all cheated."

I laughed. "I actually haven't written mine yet," I said quietly. "I'm going to write it right now."

"Okay, cool, let me know if you need help," Jeff said as he turned his music back up.

Back to work. I finished my German essay in an hour and a half. I moved on to Calculus III work which gave me more trouble than it normally does, and the headache I acquired shortly after I began didn't help me much. I grabbed my enormous Art history book out and skimmed the reading. There were so many paintings in that reading. I assumed there would a quiz so I made a list of all the painters and their works.

"Hey, Nick, it's room check!" Jeff shouted. I looked at the clock, and it had gotten pretty late. When my name was called, I ran out the door past Jeff, and waved to the hall monitor. I looked down the hall to see that Kurt wasn't outside his door. I guess he had fallen asleep from dinner.

Once I finished with Art history, I then moved on to Physics. I was hoping to do it with Wes and David, but everyone usually crashes after room check. At least I had been able to start on the physics assignment the previous night which was aggravating. This woman gave us all so much work. Even when David, Wes, and I split it between us, it still took about two hours. And I still had to review for Organic Chemistry. Being behind schedule was awful.

I yawned a few times as I finished drawing out the last few structures for Organic. I looked over at the clock, and it was already 5:45am. I had two choices: sleep and risk missing class or shower, get Kurt breakfast, get me coffee, and go. It's obvious which one I chose. I rushed in the bathroom and showered. While I was brushing my teeth, I noticed that I was getting a little scruffy, but I didn't feel like shaving. I looked around for one of my cheap plastic razors. I was 100% positive that boys weren't supposed to use these on their face. Mostly girls bought these things for their legs which is probably why the whole pack is pink. I never really learned much about shaving since I lived with my grandmother at the time I started growing facial hair. I quickly scraped the razor against my skin trying not to waste time. I hissed as I cut my chin. I grabbed some tissue and dabbed it a bit. I gave up on that and went into the room to get dressed.

Jeff woke up as soon as I finished tying my tie. I looked in the mirror and noticed that my blazer looked like a crumpled piece of paper. I couldn't iron it, and my spare was at the cleaners. Damn it! This would have to do. I didn't have any meetings so it was fine. I rushed around the room for my shoes that were under my desk apparently. I grabbed my bag and loaded it full of homework and books for the day. I double checked my calendar to make sure I had everything. _Heart __of __Darkness_ by Joseph Conrad: check. Cal III and Art History: check. And lastly Organic Chemistry: check. Everything seemed to be there. I had so much work due that my backpack felt a little overload, but it'd be fine, hopefully. I turned to the door to leave and decided to unpack a few things for the afternoon classes. When I came to check on Kurt later, I could grab my books.

I headed to the kitchen where Blaine had already made coffee. Thank the Lord for that boy's unhealthy addiction. We exchanged dead good morning greetings while he filled my coffee mug. As I headed to the door, Wes stopped me.

"Hey, Nick, don't you want something to eat?" he asked as he held out a plate for me.

I didn't even see Wes standing there or hear him cooking. I must be out of it. "No, thanks, but I'll definitely take this plate to Kurt," I answered as I went to Kurt's room.

I unlocked the door, and noticed that he was sound asleep so I didn't wake him. I sat his plate down gently on his desk next to his meds with a note telling him that I was sorry for not waking him up. Even though Kurt didn't have school, he insisted on being awake and getting ready for the day. It was silly to me. Most kids would just sleep away the sick days, and Kurt definitely needed his rest. If I had a day or two off, I'd probably spend it working too though. As I quietly closed his door, I felt my phone buzz. It was an email from my boss asking if I could tutor a boy during my lunch period on Calculus. Crap! If I did that, then, I couldn't come back and give Kurt lunch or get my books for the afternoon. Blaine wanted to spend more time with Kurt so, I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving him lunch for me today.

I ran to the kitchen and poked my head in the door. "Hey, Blaine, do you mind giving Kurt some lunch today? I have a tutoring session."

Blaine's face lit up. "Sure! Yeah! No, I don't mind at all."

"Great, thanks," I said and tossed him Kurt's key. "Same rules apply as last time, Blaine! No fondling Kurt in his sleep."

I rushed down the hall to my room, sipping my hot coffee as I heard laughter behind me. I went in the room tripping over clothes I swear weren't there earlier. I grabbed all of my afternoon books and shoved them into my bag. I slammed the door without intending to, but thankfully no one saw that it was me. I ran down the stairs struggling under the weight of my books. I felt lighter in a way though since I wouldn't have to come check on Kurt. It would have been a really hectic day if I did. It was good for Blaine as well though. This meant that Blaine had a chance to get closer to Kurt. They had a full hour to talk to each other, but they would probably waste it staring into each other's eyes or some other romantic bullshit. I'd have to ask him about it later. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, and opened up my calendar/organizer. I typed "Talk to Blaine" and put it up. Did I really just schedule out a time to talk to my friend? I pulled out my phone again. Sure did. I was supposed to talk to Blaine right after Warbler practice on the way to the tutoring rooms. That's kind of fucked up.

I took a huge gulp of the coffee which I thought had cooled down enough to do so. It hadn't. I burned the shit out of my mouth and throat. I headed to the computer lab before English to email my boss back. I could have done it from my phone, but I didn't want to risk typos, auto-corrections, and a very unprofessional signature that ended with "sent from Nick's palm." I know that I could double check for all that, and adjust the settings, but I wasn't at my best so I didn't trust myself to check. I also never thought about changing my phone's settings. The computer was the safest way to avoid embarrassment. I told her that I could definitely tutor him during lunch because I have a German tutoring during my free period. I logged out of my email and refreshed the page several times to make sure that I had logged out. I also deleted the history and cookies for that morning off of the computer just in case the browser automatically remembered my password or something. I restarted the computer, as well. I couldn't be too careful. There are people out there that would log into my email and send crazy things out to people which could probably get sent to one of the college alumni that I have been talking to. That would ruin all chances I had at getting a scholarship for college. I took a breath, and left the lab.

I took another large gulp from the coffee mug. It was still hot, but the pain kept me awake in English. My raspy voice definitely earned some major participation points in our discussion of Joseph Conrad's bullshit book.

"Mr. Duval, are you listening?" someone shouted. I looked around. I was in a desk, and standing in front of me was Dr. Schultz, the German teacher. I didn't remember walking there, or Jeff coming to walk me from English. I looked over at Jeff's desk to make sure he was there, and he was. Weird. He was giving me a worried look. "Mr. Duval!"

"Sir," I replied.

"Finally. Are you alright?" Dr. Schultz asked. He was giving me a look of concern that was clearly a façade hiding his anger.

"Yes, sir, I am," I replied with a perplexed look.

"Where is your essay, Mr. Duval?" Dr. Schultz asked, slowly. "I cannot wait to read it. Your work always surprises me, Mr. Duval." I tuned out the fat bastard's praise as I searched through my bag. It really wasn't praise at all if you asked me. It seemed like he was trying to make the other students feel horrible for their work. It was asinine.

My essay wasn't in my bag. Neither was my German book. I wondered what the hell was going on. Was that some sick joke? I checked my calendar before I left this morning to make sure I had everything. There was no note about German...I threw it. I threw the reminder at Jeff last night. I thought I would remember it. I never forget my work especially not an essay that was worth 25% of my fucking grade!

"So, Mr. Duval, may I see your essay, now?" the teacher asked again. "I would love for you to read a small section from it."

"Sir, I don't have my essay," I said as calmly as possible. "I left it in my dorm. I could go get it if you would be so kind as to permit me to do so." Truth is I had even forgotten to print the thing out! So, I'd have to do that, too.

"I am sorry, Mr. Duval, but you know the rules," he said as he walked away from my desk to his own. "If the homework isn't turned in first thing, then, it is late. So, even if I did give you permission to go to your dorm to get it, then, I would still have to make it a letter grade lower. The highest you would make would be a B."

"But sir, this isn't just homework!" I shouted. "This is worth more than a test! It's—"

"25% of your grade, I know, Mr. Duval," Dr. Schultz said. "I'm sorry but maybe this will help you remember not to forget your future assignments. Now, class let us begin."

I slumped down in my seat. This B was going to murder my grade if I didn't get A's on everything in here. Damn it! I felt my phone buzz. It must have been Jeff. I sent him a smile and shrugged as if to say 'oh well.' I think I convinced him that it wasn't that big a deal, but in reality it was. I'm so tired. It's so hard to stay awake in here. I yawned.

"Hey, Nick!" Jeff shouted.

"What?" I replied.

"Class is over," Jeff said sadly. "Just thought I'd let you know. It's your free period so why don't you go get some sleep?"

"I'd love to, but I can't," I said as I gathered up my things. "I have a tutoring session during my free period and during my lunch."

"That sucks, man," Jeff said. "I'll see you later at dinner. I'm gonna be late for English."

"Bye, Jeff," I said without looking up at him. I heard him sigh as he left the room. I'm surprised but glad he didn't ask if I was okay or anything. That got old a long time ago.

I slowly walked to the library to meet my first victim of the day. I wish he was the victim, but unfortunately I was. I had to sit and listen to this kid struggle through German.

"Hi, Mark," I said with a faint sense of cheer in my voice. "Let's see what you are supposed to be going over today, shall we?"

We sat down at a table near the back. He pulled out his notes and books as I went over sheet. "Oh, so you were having trouble with the possessive German pronouns?"

"Yeah, they're weird," he said.

"Yeah, they can be," I said with a reassuring smile. It was starting to hurt my face to smile like that, but I had to make a good impression. If I wasn't absolutely nice and caring, this kid would report me to the tutoring board. I needed this on my college apps, and I needed the extra cash. "Let's start with something simple. I'll say a phrase in English and you say it in German, okay?"

"Cool," Mark replied.

"How do you say 'My cat'?" I asked.

"Um, I'm not sure how to say 'my' in German," Mark said shyly.

"Oh, that's fine. 'My' in German is either 'mein' 'meinen' or 'meine' depending on the gender of the noun. And yes it really is pronounced just like 'mine' in English so it's easy to remember." Really, Mark? Mine and Mein are like the same word almost and mean the same thing.

"I'm also not sure how to say Cat," he continued.

"Oh, well cat is Katze," I said. "It's spelled K-a-t-z-e, but it's like saying 'cats' in English." I smiled. Wow, this was going to be a long session. It was almost the end of the year and that kid couldn't say 'my cat.' What the fuck?

Before I knew it I was in Calculus with Wes and David. I got there late, but Wes had saved me a seat next to him. David sat in front of Wes as usually. I'm pretty sure Wes used David as some sort of block from the teacher and the board because he hated paying attention. It was either that or he enjoyed staring at David's back which would be weird. I walked up to the front and turned in my homework. Wes waved at me as I sat down. I pulled out my books, ready to take notes.

"Mr. Duval!" shouted Ms. Hardwick as she slammed a book down on the ground next to me.

"Ma'am," I jumped. I heard multiple giggles. Was I sleeping?

"Since you think you have the right to fall asleep in my class," she started, "you are hereby banned from all extracurricular activities for the rest of the week."

"Yes, ma'am," I said quietly. I was so tired.

"But Ms. Hardwick!" yelled Wes. Wow was he about to defend me or something? I really was sleeping so I deserve the punishment no matter how ticked off I am. I can't remember the last time I went to sleep. "That's five Warblers this week!" Ah, that's what this was about: his precious Warblers. "That means we would have to cancel our impromptu performance tomorrow!"

"Well, Mr. Montgomery," Ms. Hardwick said, "you should teach your Warblers to pay attention in my class!" Wes groaned and sunk down in his seat. I mouthed 'Sorry' to him and David. David smiled and Wes rolled his eyes, as Ms. Hardwick continued teaching.

When class ended, I headed back to the library for the next tutoring session. David grabbed my arm as I turned a corner. "Hey, where are you going?" David asked.

"Yeah, it's lunch time!" Wes said, loudly.

"Oh, I have a tutoring session to get to," I said with a yawn.

"Maybe, you should cancel. You look so tired, and you should eat something. Coffee isn't food," David said worried.

"I'm fine, David!" I yelled and I angrily yanked my arm out of his grip. I didn't even mean for it to all happen like that. I shouldn't have yelled or anything.

"Hey, don't talk to David that way!" Wes shouted. "He was just worried about you." He grabbed my arm and pulled. "Now, come on. We are going to lunch. You haven't eaten all day."

"Wes, I'm fine," I said as I pulled my arm from his hand a little too roughly. He lost his balance, and he fell. I felt like an asshole.

"Oh, my gosh, Wes," I said reaching out to help him up. "Are you alright?"

He knocked my hand away as David helped him up. "Let's go to lunch, David," Wes said.

They both turned their backs to me and went the other direction. "I'm sorry," I shouted after them. They ignored me. Great.

I turned the corner and Blaine was standing there. He probably heard everything. "Hey, Nick," he said quickly. "I gave Kurt his lunch. He was asleep so I left it on his desk. Here are the keys," He said as he threw the keys at me. "See you around."

Blaine walked away. He looked mad at me, too. My friends were trying to help me, and I shouted at them and knocked one down. I was officially a jerk, a cranky jerk. I really needed a nap. I have got to find a way to apologize to them later. I got to the library before the next appointment came.

I had fallen asleep again. I was at a table at the front of the library, snoring according the librarian. She kindly asked me to leave. There was a sticky note on my forehead that read, "Thanks for all the help, Nick. Oh, wait you were asleep when I got here. Don't worry, I won't tell Mrs. Hardass." Ha, Hardass instead of Hardwick. Funny, not really. I was too tired to process anything at the moment. It was 12:45pm which meant I only had a few minutes to get to Art History.

I thought I could use class to think of ways to apologize to Wes and David, but class was interrupted by the principal. He called me out of the room and ask me to bring my things. We got to his office, and there was a younger looking gentleman with brown hair. He looked like he was starting to grow a beard. He had khaki pants and a hideous sweater vest. He wore glasses and a bright red bow tie. I could tell that I was going to hate this man.

"Mr. Duval, this is Mr. Brown," said the principal. "Mr. Brown this is Mr. Nicholas Duval. He is our brightest student here at Dalton so, there isn't any wonder as to why you wanted to talk to him specifically today."

Mr. Brown simply smiled, and we shook hands firmly. "Mr. Duval, your blazer is rather wrinkled. I hope you tend to yourself better. After all appearances are key in this world we live in," Mr. Brown said.

"Yes, sir, normally I do," I replied. Jerk. "I just had a bit of a rough day is all."

"You look tired as well," Mr. Brown continued.

"Yes, well I am a little tired," I replied, trying to smile and suppressing the sudden urge to yell 'Fuck you!' I probably did look like hell in all fairness. He didn't have to state the obvious though.

"Mr. Duval, I have dismissed you from all of your afternoon classes so that you and Mr. Brown could have a chat. He is an alumni from Brown University. He was here giving interviews and thought he could talk to you, too. You know, give you a test run before next year," the principal laughed changing the subject.

"Wow, thank you," I said to him cheerfully. I might as well have added a 'gee golly Mr. Brown' but I figured that would be a little much. This sad thing was that if I didn't feel like I was about to kill over, I would have. Brown University is my dream school. The Ivy Leagues had been after me ever since I got those perfect ACT scores and near perfect SAT scores. But Brown University would be heaven for me. I would kill to get into this school, and here was an open invitation to a test interview. I was actually nervous, teeth chattering, sweaty palms, the whole package.

"I'll leave you two alone to chat," the principal said as he closed the door.

Mr. Brown walked over the principal's desk, and sat in his chair like he owned the place. He seemed like he was going to be a pretentious asshole. He crossed his leg and spun the chair around to face me. "Please, sit, Nicholas."

"Alright, sir," I said, smiling.

"So, what are your goals in life Nicholas?" he asked slowly in a drawl.

I hated it when people called me 'Nicholas.' It sounded strange, and reminded me of my grandmother and the way she used to say it. "My goals are to be the best that I can be and excel in every subject that I possibly can," I said.

"Why?" he asked.

I was taken back a bit by his response. "So, I can get into a good school, an excellent school like Brown."

"What are you going to do with your life afterwards, though, as a career? What are your life goals?" he asked, placing his hands on the desk looking me straight in the eyes.

My mind went blank. Fuck. What were my life goals? I don't think I had any. I've just been cruising through life with the plan of being perfect at everything buried into my brain. What was I going to do with this perfection? I had no idea. I didn't want to be a scientist or a mathematician. I had no interest in being a doctor or a lawyer or anything in either field. I hated businessmen with a passion, since my father was one of those. And English just pisses me off. What else could I do with my brain? For some reason at the time I didn't even have a career in mind.

"I don't quite know yet sir. I'm still undecided about the whole matter since there are so many options," I said, looking down, ashamed and embarrassed.

"Oh, I see," he said as he turned his chair back to the window.

The interview went downhill from there. I was so shaken and nervous. I had to impress this jerk, but I just wasn't prepared at all for this today. I loved Brown. I could describe the fucking buildings, but at this exact moment I couldn't recall small facts about it. I couldn't tell him my dreams or aspirations in life because it seems like I had none. I didn't really carry a passion for anything. This had to be the worst moment of my life on the worst day I've had in a long time. My dream was literally slipping away the more I opened my mouth to say nothing. The first time a Brown University alumnus comes to me and I blow it.

"It seems like our time is up," said Mr. Brown. "Talking to you certainly was interesting." I didn't know how to take what he just said.

"Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Brown" I grabbed my book bag, and swung it around my shoulder as I extended my hand to Mr. Brown. He shook my hand as we heard a loud tearing sound followed by thuds. I sighed. I got on the floor and started stacking up my books.

Mr. Brown helped me. "Don't they have lockers here for rent, Mr. Duval?" he asked.

"Yes, sir, they do, but normally the kids who don't board get those," I answered. Finally I answered one question he asked me with no hesitation.

"Where'd you get that cut on your face?" he asked looking at my chin as he handed me my Physics book.

"Oh, I cut myself shaving this morning," I said and flashed a fake smile.

"Didn't your father ever teacher you how to shave properly, boy?" Mr. Brown asked and laughed. I know he meant it as a joke, but it stung just a little bit. I wanted to tell him 'No, my dad was too busy being an abusive alcoholic at the time, sir, so, he was never able to teach his only son how to shave.' But, of course, I just laughed with Mr. Brown.

"I have to go," I said. "Thank you again so much for your time."

"Better luck with the real thing, huh, Nicholas?" Mr. Brown said, probably meaning that to be a joke as well.

"Yes, sir," I said smiling at that jerk. I did fuck up the interview though and he couldn't have known about my dad.

I left the room briskly caring all those books in my arms trying to block out thoughts of my dad. Fuck! I fucked up so badly just now. Would I even have a second chance at Brown? I mean it wasn't official or anything, but I'm sure I've become some sort joke to him. I'll probably be a droll comment at his cocktail parties. I might even become laughing stock for the Board of Admissions now! I most likely would never get a scholarship either. I just had the one thing I wanted stripped away from me. I wanted to make the best first impression ever for Brown University. Damn it. Tears started to obstruct my vision as I got closer and closer to the dorms.

I felt disgusting. I disgusted myself at that moment. I hated everything about myself. When I got to my room, I threw my books across my desk. So many things toppled to the floor with loud bangs and thuds. I had started to cry again. _"__Don__'__t __cry __little __Nick .__Only __little __girls __cry. __Are __you __a __little __girl, __you __worthless __piece __of __shit?__" _I could hear my dad yelling. I could feel him kicking me and spitting on me. I had to take a shower.

I docked my i-pod, and blasted Fall Out Boy to drown out my thoughts, but as soon as I got in the shower and started the water, my brain was flooded with thoughts of school. My B in German could actually make my final grade in that class a B which would hurt my chances for a Brown scholarship even more. The water got hotter and hotter, stinging me. I can't believe I fell asleep while I was supposed to be tutoring someone! He could report me. Why didn't he report me? Was he going to use that moment as some sort of blackmail in the future? I could lose my job! Not only would it look horrible on my college apps, but it was how I was helping to pay for my tuition here. Fuck. I banged on the shower wall with my fist. I put my head down completely under the spout.

Forget college apps. What was my major going to be? What was I going to do with my life? If I didn't know any of that then there was really no point to anything. I have to keep going though. I've spent too much time on my perfection to waste it by giving up now. I hated all this pressure to be perfect all the time though. I needed to get it out of me somehow! I could talk to Jeff, but he wouldn't be back until around 7pm and it was still so early. Argh! I was going insane here. My head was killing me.

I turned off the water, and got out of the shower. The steam had engulfed the entire room. I grabbed a white towel and wrapped it around my waist. I walked over to the full length mirror on the bathroom door. I wiped it off. My dad always used to say that the only thing that I would ever amount to in life was death. I was starting to look just like him, like my father. I hate this damned mirror. I looked like that bastard! I punched the mirror as hard as I could shattering it. A nicely sized piece of glass fell to the floor. I bent over to pick it up as my right hand began to bleed from the punch. I examined the piece of glass in my hand carefully.

Jeff was going to kill me, but he didn't need to know. I needed this. I took the glass and sat on the toilet in deep thought. The blood spotting on my hand was already helping the pressure escape, but it wasn't enough. I needed more. I had to think of somewhere he wouldn't see this time though. My arms had been the obvious choice, but that's just begging for attention. I used to cut on my stomach but that too was obvious. I looked down and there was my answer right in front my eyes: my leg, well, my thigh to be precise. No one would ever see it here. I took the glass slowly tracing lines on my leg. I gripped the glass tightly and just sliced my leg quickly full of rage and hissed with pain. The blood was so dark and thick as it slowly traveled down the side of my leg and dripped onto the floor. I let out a deep breath.

Thoughts of reassurance filled my head. It was okay that I was undecided about what I wanted to do in life. A lot of college students start out that way. Bullshit.

I sliced my leg once more, breathing deeply.

I'm not worthless because I am one of the best students Dalton has to offer.

I continued this until I had gone completely numb and just sat there with my head against the wall taking deep breaths. It was euphoric in a way. I had cut away all of the bad thoughts and all of the feelings of anguish and sorrow. I was okay. I knew that if Jeff found out he would be so angry with me. But he has to understand that I just can't keep running to him with all of my problems. I need to solve things on my own, and this was my way of dealing with it. It worked for me. I felt better than I had in a long time. He would never understand which is why I had to keep this a secret from him.

I put on some sweatpants and a white v-neck, and collapsed on my bed. My fresh cuts stung which made me smile. I decided that I might take a little nap before I go give Kurt his dinner since I had all the time in the world now.

**Jeff's POV**

Nick isn't here. Nick isn't in Organic Chemistry, his hardest class. What the heck? I had been texting him since he looked like he was about to kill over in German this morning. I really hoped he was keeping it together and not freaking out about the whole thing. In order to get his A he would have to make straight A's on every pop quiz and homework assignment, but he does that anyway. I know he's all worried because there would be "no room for error" or whatever, but it was November. He only had a month to mess up before exams. There was no way he'd mess up German. I have a B in there. After the final we might both have A's.

"Mr. Sterling," Mrs. Fitz said.

"Yes, Mrs. Fitz," I said innocently.

"It's Mrs. _Fitzhugh,_Mr. Sterling. Fitzhugh," she said smiling. She liked it when I called her 'Fitz.' "Where is Mr. Duval? Class is starting soon," she asked, a little worried.

"I don't know. I'm not his mama, Mrs. Fitz," I said laughing. Other boys let out a laugh or two as well as the class room filled up. "But in all honesty, I haven't seen him since this morning."

"The teachers said that he's been taking care of a Mr. Hummel. Perhaps Nick finally caught whatever Mr. Hummel has, and he's sick."

"Maybe," I said. I really didn't know what was wrong with Kurt. Nick was pretty vague. I just remember him mentioning a fever or something.

We both looked a little worried about Nick. He had been having little freak outs lately. She thinks he's under too much pressure, and tried to talk to him about taking less classes or dropping hers. He declined the offer, of course. So, she's always keeping an eye on him. She's such a sweet woman, and she's only 26.

A shorter boy ran inside the room and stood in between me and Mrs. Fitz like we weren't even talking. Rude. I went to go take a seat near the front of the room. "This is a note from the principal," the boy said quietly. "I tried to find you at lunch, but couldn't."

"Oh, thank you," she said taking the note. She sent the boy away, read it, and smiled. She started teaching. "Everyone please take out a sheet of paper."

Shit a quiz, just when I needed Nick he wasn't here. Just kidding. I wouldn't cheat off of him. Besides he sits behind me anyway. Where was he? The teacher dropped a note on my desk as she walked back to the front of the room. I looked around and everyone was digging through their things for a sheet of paper. I looked up at her and she winked. She's adorable really. I opened the note. It was the note the boy had brought her. It said that Nick was excused from all of his afternoon classes. Some guy from Brown wanted to talk to him. Why didn't he just text me about it?

"Jeffery! You can only have a pen and a sheet of paper on your desk. I'll have to confiscate this note," she said trying to sound appalled as she took the note back. She called me by my first name. Yep, she definitely likes me.

She scribbled instructions on the white board. When she was done, she turned around to watch us and make sure we weren't cheating. I mouthed thank you to her and she just smiled in return. She pulled out her seat to sit at her desk, and she dropped her marker. It rolled right beside my desk. Mrs. Fitz walked over and bent over in front of my desk to pick up her marker. She was wearing a rather short skirt today, so I might get lucky enough to sneak a peek. Mr. Fitz was one lucky man to be able to tap that every night. Jesus! I couldn't take anymore sexual stimulation. I just got out of Calculus with Ms. Hardwick. Sure she was a bitch, but her boobs were magical. They were, like, huge so she had to wear her blouse open with a tank top underneath, but she still made it look classy. She was so hot, especially she wore those cute shirts that tied around her neck. I'd kill for some extra time with her.

I spent the whole time just checking Mrs. Fitz out. I'm pretty sure I was drooling by the end of class. She woke me from my daydreams and told me to go the dining hall for dinner. I offered to help her with her things, but she kept bringing up the fact that it was dinner time. She eventually had to bribe me by telling they were having tacos for dinner. They weren't.

Once I got there, I looked for Wes, David, and Blaine in the dining hall, and they were already there eating. I went over to get some food, and I saw Nick.

"Hey," I said, "where ya been, Nick?"

"Oh, this guy who used to go to Brown came and talked to me," he said continuing to fill his to-go box.

"Oh," I said. "do you think you made a good impression?"

"No, actually," he said and laughed. "My mind went blank, and my backpack broke. It was awful actually."

"Are you not worried about it at all?" I asked, concerned.

"Naw, it'll be alright. It was just a test run," he said with a smile. It wasn't even one of those fake ones he gives to those kids he tutors. He looked like he didn't care.

"Oh, but wouldn't you want to make a good impression anyway?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I didn't," He replied. "I've got to go give this to Kurt."

"Wait," I said grabbing his arm. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Naw, I'll grab an apple or something to go," he said. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," I said. That was strange. I grabbed a plate, and sat down with the guys.

"I'm glad Mr. Crabbypants got a nap," Wes said jokingly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked

"You know… Nick!" Wes said.

"Yeah, he was kind of a jerk to us before lunch so he came over and apologized to us right before you got here. He said he was just tired and finally got a little sleep just now. He didn't tell you about it?" David asked. That explained the sweats and the T-shirt though.

"No, he didn't!" I yelled. "I texted him and called him because I was really worried. He hasn't really talked to me all day!"

"Calm down, Jeff," Blaine said. "I'm sure he has a good reason. Maybe, he will talk to you later about. He's just been a little busy lately."

"Yeah, you're right," I said. "We'll talk later."

Wes's phone went off singing "I Could Have Danced All Night" from My Fair Lady. I may be a lady's dude and all, but I know my classics. I sing in an a capella choir. Why shouldn't I be well-versed in musical numbers? Plus, Wes really wants Kurt to sing it as his audition piece. He's been talking about Kurt auditioning since we heard him sing. We don't even know if he wants to audition or not. That's Wes though.

"Wes, how many Warblers aren't coming today?" Blaine asked as we headed to the music room.

"SEVEN!" he shouted. "Seven! I can't believe it either. Can you? It's crazy and 5 of them are from Ms. Hardass's class alone!"

"Wes!" David scolded.

"What?" Wes defended. "She's a hard ass." He had a point there.

"You're just mad because she suspended Nick from after school activities even though you brought it to her attention that she was picking on Warblers," David said.

"Wait, what?" I asked, stopping. "Nick got suspended from after school stuff? When did that happen?"

"Well, technically, she suspended him from all of his extracurricular stuff which I thought was harsh since he has a million," Wes said.

"What?" Jeff said.

"Calm down," David said. "He fell asleep in Calculus today so she suspended him from all of his extracurricular activities for the rest of the week."

"What? Why didn't he tell me?" I shouted. "Why isn't he freaking out? It's only Wesdnesday! He has student council meetings to go to. He's the vice president! He has clubs and he has the Warblers! What about his tutoring job? Does that mean he can't tutor for the rest of the week either? Can she do that?"

"Calm down. I'm sure Nick had a similar freak out earlier today," Blaine said patting my shoulder. "Knowing Nick, he probably already has everything figured out and just didn't want you to worry."

"Yeah, it'll be fine," Wes said happily.

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"Because it's Nick, and Nicholas Duval always has it under control," Wes smiled. "He just had a really bad day."

"Okay, I hope you're right," I said as we went into the music room.

Warbler practice was about how the majority of the warblers have been suspended from club activities for the week so we had to reschedule our impromptu performance. I don't know. I wasn't really listening. Nick normally keeps me focus in here. I voted on whatever Blaine voted on. I trusted lil Blainers. He was always pretty reasonable, well not lately. I heard he failed a German I quiz today that just asked them to write who they were and their age. Dr. Schultz called him an idiot and everything and he just sat there smiling. I assumed he was just thinking about Kurt though. Right after my German class, we sometimes have lunch together. I wanted to talk to him more about why people actually listen to Katy Perry. I loved watching Katy Perry sing and her music videos, but it's not because her voice is great or anything. Instead that guy bolted to the dorms explaining to me that he had a prior engagement to take care of some beautiful wounded creature or some crap like that. I figured he meant Kurt. Blaine likes Kurt and Kurt's wounded. Sounds like good logic to me. If I'm wrong, then, whatever. I'm not too bright anyway. Well, I don't know. I'm always being compared to Nick in the grades department so, I didn't really know if I was average or just dumber than Nick. If I was dumber than Nick, it was fine. Everyone was dumber than Nick. If I was just flat out dumb, then, I had a problem.

I got back to the room, and Nick was at his desk writing. His side of the room looked really messy. His books were everywhere.

"Hey, what's with the mess?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing, just didn't pick them up after they fell or whatever," he said, he turned around and gave me a smile, that same smile from earlier. I didn't like it. It felt cold and creepy.

"Oh, um so are you okay after that whole essay business that happened today?" I asked as I walked over and sat on my bed.

"Yeah, it wasn't that big of a deal," he said, nonchalantly. "It's only a letter grade, and I'll just have to get an A on the final. It'll be fine."

Wow, a nap really did him some good. "Who are you, and what have you done with my roommate?" I asked.

"Ha-ha, Jeff. I'm fine, seriously, don't worry about it," he said.

"It's not like you not to worry about it though. You know if you just explain to Dr. Schultz that you've been helping Kurt out, and you just got a little overloaded, then he might give you an extension."

"Naw, I don't want to be bothered with all of that. It'll be fine. I'm just gonna leave it alone," he said as he turned back around and continued writing.

I went over to my desk, and pulled out my homework. I looked over at Nick again who was writing away. "Um, so, how's Kurt doing?"

He threw down his pencil, and turned to me. "He's doing great. I might let him go to school tomorrow."

"What do you mean let him?" I asked.

"I promised his dad that I'd keep an eye on him, and make sure he got proper rest and such," he told me.

"When did you talk to Kurt's dad?" I shouted and stood up.

"Sssh Jeff, it's almost study hours," Nick said quietly. "I met him the night Kurt was sick. He came and checked on him."

"But Kurt lives like two hours away! His dad drove all the way here for a fever?" I asked. "Was there something else wrong with him?"

Nick looked down at his hands. "Yeah, there was, but he's going to be okay."

"What was wrong?" I asked.

"That's not my business to tell, Jeff," he said, annoyed as he turned around.

"Nick, you've been keeping things from me lately, and I don't like it. We used to talk about everything. Now you've shut me out," I said.

"I haven't shut you out. What happened that night is Kurt's business and his alone!" Nick yelled.

"What about today?" I yelled back. "You fell asleep in Calculus and got suspended from your extracurricular activities! I had to find that out from Wes and David. You had a meeting with an alumnus from your dream school which you botched, and you didn't tell me! I had to find that out from Mrs. Fitz! You didn't think your best friend and roommate deserved a text about any of that. And your back pack is broken, and I'm still not quite sure how that one happened! And look your hand is all bandaged up. What happened?"

"Jeff, chill, okay?" Nick said, closing his book. "I just didn't want you to worry about any of it. I got everything under control, and even got a chance to take a nap. I'm fine. I cut it when I hit the bathroom mirror out of frustration and broke it. I ordered a new one at the front desk before dinner. It's fine." He grabbed a note book and a book or two..

"You still should have told me something, Nick!" I said. "Did you at least make sure there wasn't glass in the cut? Is it okay?" I reached out to touch his hand, but he snatched his hand out of my reach.

"I can take care of myself, Jeff!" he shouted at me. "I don't need your pity or concern anymore. I'm tired of it. Stop worrying about me." He walked over to the door. "I'm going to Kurt's room to study. I can't do this with you today." He slammed the door.

I threw my notebook across the room, and took out my sketch pad. I scribbled down some random lines on the paper. I heard someone knock. "Come in!" I said.

It was Blaine. "Hey, I heard you two yelling when I was coming down the hall. Is everything alright?"

I sighed. "No, not really."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked.

"Not really. It's just Nick is—"

"Being secretive and saying it's to protect you and stop you from worrying but it all just makes you worry about him even more. You're afraid he'll have a relapse and start cutting again or something worse," Blaine finished.

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up…how'd you know?" I asked Blaine bewildered.

"Because that's how Nick is, and that's how you are," he said simply. "Nick has always been secretive and keeps things from you so you won't worry. You always worry about Nick no matter what. He's your best friend who used to mutilate himself because he hated himself and everything around him, and he couldn't find a way to control his stress level and emotions. That's just how you and Nick work."

I smiled at Blaine. "Yeah, Nick is just being Nick. You're a good friend Blaine."

"Thanks," he said to me as he sat on the bed next to me.

"Do you think Nick will ever get tired of my constant worrying?" I asked Blaine.

"No, I think he secretly appreciates the fact that someone cares about him that much. Either that or he doesn't know how to appreciate it or what it means," Blaine said slowly. "But I think you two will be friends for a long time. You're best friends. That kind of friendship lasts a while so you don't have anything to worry about. Plus, Nick would be lost without you and you would be lost without Nick. Who would remind Nick to eat and take breaks form school if you weren't there? And who would remind you to do your homework if Nick was around? You two need each other whether you realize that or not."

"Wow, Blaine, that was really insightful. I think that's the word I'm looking for, I don't know. Thank you for listening and talking to me about it, Blaine," I said.

"Anytime, Jeff," he said, smiling.

"Oh, and Nick still doesn't know that you know about his cutting," I told Blaine looking away. I had told Blaine one day because Nick had disappeared somewhere and I was afraid he had tried something. I told Blaine because he was trying to calm me down, but I was freaking out and it just came out. Nick wouldn't trust me with anything ever again if he found out that I had told someone. He was afraid that they would tip-toe around him or treat him differently, but Blaine didn't. I didn't think Kurt, Wes, or David would either

"Okay, I won't tell," Blaine said. "I don't really talk to Nick much anyway. It'd only come out at a wild party where I was completely wasted."

I laughed. I could never picture little Blainers drunk. It's just not possible in my mind. "Thanks, Blaine**.**So, how's it going with you and Kurt?" I asked Blaine and nudged his shoulder playfully.

"I don't know," Blaine said, sadly. "I was going to talk to him during lunch, but he was sleeping. I gave the keys back to Nick earlier so, I can't really randomly check up on him anymore. I could go by and knock, but I don't want to wake him up if he's sleeping. When Nick is in there, he leaves the door crack so I know Kurt's awake. The only problem with that is that, well, Nick is in there so there's no alone time for me and Kurt, and Nick is usually helping Kurt catch up with his make-up work so I'd just be a distraction."

"That sounds…complicated," I said honestly. It really did. Blaine really liked Kurt, but Nick was being a major cock-block. I think Nick means well. He's just helping Kurt when he is there, but he could shovel some of the responsibility of taking care of Kurt onto Blaine. "I'll talk to him about letting you help more. I could see you in there feeding Kurt soup or something." I laughed.

Blaine blushed. "Thanks," he said. "Hopefully, Kurt will be better by tomorrow though."

"Yeah," I said. "You really like that kid, don't you?"

"Yes, I do," Blaine said. "He's just so amazing. His voice was so light and musical, his eyes were the prettiest blue I've ever seen, and his smile and his laugh made me smile and laugh. Even talking about him makes me happy.

"How's Nick doing? We haven't really talked much lately," I explained. "We're best friends and he's been so distance. We live together, and we barely talk anymore. The gap between us has gotten even bigger since Kurt got here. He's been hanging with Kurt a lot."

"He's just taking care of him, Jeff," Blaine explained, looking away.

"No, it's more than that and you know it," I said. "It's like they have some freaky bond. He's like super worried about Kurt all the time. It's weird."

"Maybe he and Kurt are just becoming good friends," Blaine said, still not looking at me.

"You know something," I said poking him.

"No, not really," Blaine said. "I just think that Kurt had a hard time before he got here, and I think he's been talking to Nick about it. That's all."

"Oh, I get it now," I said, rubbing my chin. "Kurt must remind Nick of himself when he first got here. Kurt kind of reminds me of Nick in a way too, now that I think about it."

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked.

"You know, Kurt kind of keeps to himself. When we compliment him, he belittles himself a little bit. I guess it's 'cause he's a nice person, but he also seems a bit squeamish to the touch though which worries me. I hope he's okay," I said.

"Yeah, me too," Blaine said sadly. I still felt like he was keeping something from me, but I left it alone.

We talked about clothes and other things until close to room check. Talking to Blaine really helped me out. I mean sure sometimes I zoned out and think about girls, Guitar Hero, and school while he was talking, but that's really not my fault. I can't really relate to some of the jokes he makes about famous romantic comedies or books he reads or Vogue stuff. I just smiled at him. I was glad he had Kurt to joke with about that kind of stuff now. It must have been lonely without him since he was just around us guys, not that Kurt wasn't a guy. He was just a guy who was interested in the same stuff Blaine was and also happens to be gay so they share other interests too. Whatever. The point was that I was happy that Blaine had found someone else to talk to about guys and such. Kurt and Blaine needed to get together fast though. I'd have to give them some sort of push along with Nick's help, of course.

Nick was another thing I constantly thought about when I was spaced out. People were always coming up to me telling me how lucky I was that Nick Duval was my best friend/roommate because I could get all the homework help I needed any time, but it was not like that. I'd never use Nick like that because we're friends. He offered frequently, but I usually declined. It was weird though because honestly my grades are awful. They're seriously terrible. The course load at Dalton was ridiculously difficult. My dad thought it was strange that Nick and I were able to hang out even though Nick was a super genius, and I pretty average and all about girls. Nick's just a cool guy to be around. Well, he was usually busy tutoring kids for cash or studying since high school started. The weird thing was that Nick is naturally smart enough to just get A's and B's evenly, but he didn't want the B's, just the A's. He views the B's as mistakes so, he studies extra hard to avoid them. I think Nick's obsession with perfection came from his stupid dad. I think Nick thought that if he was perfect in every way possible, that his dad would forgive him somehow and accept him as his son. But what Nick needed to understand was that he didn't need forgiveness. Nick didn't do anything wrong! That was what really pissed me off. All he did was exist, and that asshole beat the shit out of him for it for years. Was Nick's existence that horrible of a thing? No, and if that jerk would have just accepted Nick for the great kid he was, then, maybe Nick would have been okay. Maybe then Nick wouldn't have been so insecure so much when we were younger and just enjoyed everything like kids were supposed to.


	9. Confusion

**A/N: ** Hey, you, thanks for reading my story! Please read and review! It'll make me happy. Happy Holidays :)

**Warning:** This story contains sexual assault, abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and strong language.

**Chapter 9: Confusion**

**Wes's POV**

I jumped out of bed, and ran to the window happily to watch the sun begin to rise. It was starting to snow lightly. I loved mornings. They were so pretty. I wished morning was all day! But then, I liked night, too because of the stars and the moon was so beautiful. Having both at the same time wasn't really possible. Just like, I couldn't have Emily for a girlfriend and harbor feelings for David at the same. It just didn't feel right, made me feel icky.

I heard David waking up, so I drew back the curtains so he could see too. I ran over and jumped on his bed. "David, David! Look it's snowing! Aren't you excited, David?"

"Yes, I'm glad it's snowing, but I don't think anyone but you could be this excited about anything at the crack of dawn," he said as he yawned and stretched. He was even hot when he yawns. Crap! I was all in his face with morning breath most likely. And we were touching, and I was in his bed in the morning.

"Well, I'm going to shower, now," I said quietly. I looked away from his face, and started to scoot off the bed.

"Wait!" David said. "Don't you want to just lie here, and wait for the sun to come up some more?"

"Nope! I'm going to cook a lot today because Kurt's supposed to be eating with us today!" I shouted in excitement, changing the subject from lying with him. If it were up to me, of course, I'd lie there all day with him.

"Is he really?" David said letting out another yawn. He stretched and his arm muscles rippled slightly. He sat up, and he wasn't wearing a shirt. No shirt. There was a shirtless David in the bed that I was sitting in. He just…wow. I wanted to reach my hand out and just feel his abs. Before I knew it my hand was reaching for his chest! My hand retracted, and I stood up quickly, almost tripping over something. "Wes?"

"Um, yeah, I've got," I said swallowing. I should have said 'I've got the hotts for you' or something like that and made out with him. Instead I stuttered over all of words. Eventually I got out the words 'shower' and 'now.' I ran into the bathroom and had an ice cold shower.

I finished getting dressed without saying anything to David. He showered and I didn't wait for him to get out. I didn't want to turn around and stare at him in his boxers and undershirt. It was wrong what I was doing. I was gawking at my best friend who didn't realize I was gawking at him because I was madly in love with him. Was it wrong? Did I really have to tell him?

I turned my back to the bathroom door as I tied my tie awkwardly. I grabbed my puppy dog apron, and I left the room probably blushing a lot as I headed into the kitchen. It must have been really, really early because Blaine wasn't even getting his coffee yet! Insane. I decided I'd try to make it for him! I don't know what he likes, but I like French Vanilla Roast. It's the best! I put it in the coffee maker. When the coffee was done, Blaine still wasn't there. I thought the smell would wake him up or something. I decided to make him a mug too! I did it just the way I do it when I make coffee because it's wonderful. I added half a mug of coffee, filled the rest of the mug with cream, and added five tablespoons of sugar. Mhmm. Blaine was going to love it.

Someone had come in. It was Kurt! Kurt was better! He was really coming to school today! I missed Kurt. I ran into him and gave him the biggest hug ever. I think I even heard his spine crack a little bit. That's good though, because it's just the sound people's spines make when they receive my hugs. I used to call them spinal delights, but that sounds like some sort of cookie you bake or a drug handicap people used, or at least that's what Nick told me one day.

"I missed you so much, Kurt!" I told him. "I was going to come see you often, but Nick, that meanie who doesn't like holding my hand when we skip," I looked up at him when I paused.

"I know who Nick is," Kurt said and laughed a little.

"Yeah, him. He wouldn't let me in and said 'Kurt needs his rest, Wesley. He doesn't want to be bothered by you,'" I said in a low, Nick-like voice, "so I left, but the point is that I missed you! You missed me too right?"

"Yes, Wes," Kurt laughed. "I missed you too."

I let go of him. "I'm making a big breakfast for you! First, I made coffee for Blaine. I thought he'd get here before you so I could ask him what you liked best for breakfast since he's been giving you some of your meals lately."

"He has?" Kurt asked looking at me funny.

"Yep!" I said. "Blainey has been really good to you Kurt. He went to check up on you at least 50 times a day. I think he just mostly watched you sleep."

Kurt blushed. "Really?"

"Yeah, Blaine is creepy like that," I informed Kurt.

"What?" Blaine yelled as he came in the room. "What are you telling Kurt, Wes?"

"Oh, I was just telling him how creepily you watched him sleep while you were supposed to be feeding him, which is creepy too. Geez, Blaine, you've become a creeper! Oh my gosh, Kurt! Blaine is a creeper! I bet he's been listening outside the door this entire time!" I shouted, having a sudden epiphany about Blaine.

Blaine put his hand over my mouth and looked at Kurt. I couldn't tell what look he was giving Kurt because I was concentrating on breaking free of his creeper grip. All creepers have strong grips. David told me that once, so when we are in stores together, David says that I should always stay close by him so he can help me get away.

"I am not a creeper," Blaine explained. "Nick was too busy to come by sometimes, so I would come by. You were sleeping most of the time so I would just leave your plate on your desk and go back to class."

"Oh, well, thank you, Blaine," Kurt said, surprised. Blush crept across his face. "I really appreciate it."

"It's really no problem at all," Blaine said quickly. "If you ever need to talk, I'd be happy to, um, talk with you about stuff. Not any particular stuff, just anything."

Kurt smiled. "Thank you."

They both just stared at each other for a moment. It was weird! Wait they were both blushing, and looking. I finally freed myself from Blaine's grip and shouted "Oh my gosh! You two totally like—"

"Wes," David said, cutting me off as he came into the kitchen. "You left me in the room. We normally wait for each other. What was with the rush?" He looked a little mad and worried. I didn't want to lie to him, but I also didn't want to say 'Oh, I couldn't stare at you get dressed because it makes me feel like a pervert and by the way I love you so I think I might be gay.' That was too much for me to handle. "Wes?" he asked again.

Argh! I couldn't think straight! This was so hard! How was I supposed to talk to him when he looked like that in that with his partially unbuttoned white dress shirt, his undone tie hanging loosely around his neck, and his sleeves rolled up so that I could see his wonderful, veiny biceps? "I just, um, I..I," I said slowly hoping something would come out.

"He was just excited to see me, I think, David," Kurt said, saving me from confliction. I'd definitely have to bake him a big cake for this.

"Oh, I suppose so," David said as walked to the table to take a seat.

"Now, I need coffee," Blaine said and Kurt laughed at him.

I handed Blaine the mug of coffee I made for him. "Here, I made you a cup already. It's probably cooled down a lot by now too."

"Thanks, Wes," he said.

"Yeah, I need my coffee, too," Kurt said.

Next thing I hear is Blaine spewing his coffee in the sink. "Wes, what the hell?"

"What?" I asked and I gave him a weird look.

"What is this?" he asked me.

"Coffee," I said as I watched him pour it down the drain.

"I'm not even going to ask," Blaine said, walking over to the pot to pour himself another cup.

"Too sweet for you, Blaine?" David asked smiling.

"Ha-ha," Blaine said. I didn't get it. Maybe, next time I'll only put four tablespoons of sugar in his coffee.

I made breakfast quietly thinking to myself. I didn't even join in the conversation about karate and I loved karate. It was just getting harder and harder to talk to David. He finished buttoning his shirt and tied his tie as they talked. Kurt didn't seem too interested because he was looking away from both Blaine and David. He must have been thinking about something important.

"Watcha thinking about, Kurt?" Jeff asked as he came in with Nick. "You thinkin' about Blaine? Huh? You thinkin' about what little Blaine, here, looks like na-ked?"

"Jeff!" David, Blaine, and Nick all shouted at the same time. Blaine blushed so hard, and covered his face with his hands. I haven't ever seen him that red before!

Kurt looked away, also blushing. "N-no, I-I wasn't thinking about that," Kurt stuttered.

"Ignore him, Kurt," Nick said as he took a seat next to him. Nick is so nice to Kurt! It's not fair! I wish he was nice to me. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm an annoying nuisance or something. I don't mean to be. I don't mean to be so loud. I just get excited easily. Nick and I didn't really have much in common though so it's understandable that he didn't like me much.

Breakfast continued with Jeff being Jeff, Nick being silent, Kurt and Blaine staring at each other, and David staring at me, constantly. His eyes were literally on me every time I looked up. It made blush. It was nice to have constant attention from him, but it was making me nervous. Eventually Nick and Kurt left for class together, and Blaine left soon after them.

"Well, since everyone seems to be leaving, I'll leave, too," David said as he smiled and rubbed the back of his head.

"Why?" I said. I replayed that loud escape from my mind over and over and each time it made me sound more and more desperate. I meant for it to come out all casual, cute-like way, like 'Oh, why? Where ya going?' Now, I'm blushing and everyone is staring. I hate awkward stares!

"Calm down, Wes," David laughed. "I'm just going back to our room before class to finish up some work."

"Oh, okay. Have fun!" I said as I turned to the sink to do the dishes.

David just laughed as Jeff said, "Yeah, have fun finishing your homework, David, because homework brings everyone such joy to complete."

David left and laughed again. I turned to Jeff and said, "Bite me."

"No, thanks, but I'm sure David would be happy to take my place," Jeff said joking, hopefully, joking. He didn't know anything about my feelings unless he talked to Emily and no one did but me. No one knows, but me, God, and Emily. That fact still didn't keep me from blushing and nearly swatting Jeff with the frying pan I was cleaning.

"Dude, chill out!" Jeff said, falling out of his chair. "I was only joking!"

"I know, sorry," I said to him.

He got some juice out of the fridge, and took a seat just as I had finished the dishes. "Hey, um Wes," he said, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what's up," I said and took a seat next to him.

"I was talking to Blaine the other night, and I came to a sudden realization about myself and everything around me," he said.

"You had an epiphany?" I asked, cocking my head to the side and staring at him like he was crazy.

"Yeah, that!" he said. "I knew the word I just couldn't think of it. Anyway, yeah. So, Nick is always attracting ladies 'cause he's so damned serious all the time. Sorry for the cursing. I know you and David don't really like it…"

"Yeah, David and I rarely curse, but that doesn't mean you have to stop being you and not curse. If we didn't like it that much we'd tell you," I giggled at him. I just cussed probably like 4 or 5 times yesterday in front of him about Warbler stuff. "We're pretty loose about that."

"Oh, so anyway, Nick gets ladies and Blaine gets ladies even though he's gay! What do they have that I don't have? Same with you and David. What is it?" He asked nearly shouting.

"Well, it's 'cause we're cooler than you, duh!" I said, joking. He didn't take that as a joke so I continued. "I'm just kidding, silly! It's 'cause we're gentlemen!" I said brandishing my arm out as if to say 'ta da.'

"Gentlemen?" he asked.

"Yes, gentlemen. You know those guys who dress nicely, open doors for women, talk to them about things besides their body parts, think about things besides their body parts, and we don't call them 'ladies' much either. Their people, not just ladies, each girl you meet has a name and a personality. You should just start talking to girls like that," I informed him.

"Oh, right," he said. "I'm not too good at conversation so, I figure I could just be a well-rounded guy, ya know?"

"No…I don't get it," I confessed.

"You know girls tend to like guys who could do things for them and have talents," he said hoping I would catch on. "I can sing wonderfully so, I could serenade her for our anniversary or something like that. I can draw pretty well, too, so I could paint her something amazing. So, I was thinking maybe if you, the most amazing cook I know, could possibly teach me to cook a few meals, then, I'd be a perfect gentleman…please?"

"So you want me to teach you to cook?" I asked. He nodded cheerfully.

Nick always told me that I should say no to Jeff for lessons about anything, but that was Nick. I could handle Jeff. "Alright! Lessons start this weekend whilst either of us aren't busy with other things. If not this weekend, then the next one and so on!" I said cheerfully and stood, throwing my fist in the air.

"Um, right, okay. Thanks a bunch. I'll see you this weekend," he said. "We better get to class or we might be late."

"Ugh," I said as I looked down at my watch. "You're right. See you later, Jeff!"

I went to my room and finished getting dressed. David wasn't in there, thank God. All of my run-ins with him today have been awkward and it's not even 9am yet. I grabbed my backpack and headed to the school building. There was so much snow that I couldn't help but play in it along the way. I put my i-pod in for the walk and listened to "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" until I got to the door of Nick and Kurt's English class. I reluctantly put my i-pod away and pouted at the teacher in the hallway who asked me to do so silently with his stern look.

The boys started to flood out of the classrooms. I fished through the boys searching for Nick and Kurt. I grabbed both their hands and dragged them to the side. "Kurt, Kurt, Kurt!" I shouted jumping up and down still holding both boys' hand.

"Oh, gosh, yes, Wes?" he said as he smiled at me.

"Are you sure you're better?" I asked concerned. "What was wrong with you, Kurt?"

"I just had a fever and a bit of an infection," he said quietly. "I am going to be just fine." He looked so sad. I felt bad for even bringing it up, so I changed the subject.

"So, Nick," I said, "Jeff asked me to teach him how to cook!"

I thought Nick would come up with some snappy remark about how I didn't listen, and then tell me that I should have said no. Then he'd rant about Jeff's attention span or something, but instead all he said was, "Oh, cool. Good Luck."

"Thanks?" I said, baffled a bit but such a simple reply. I turned to Kurt and said, "Let's hold hands and skip to class today to celebrate that you're back!"

"If Nick doesn't care, I don't care," Kurt laughed.

"Nick, can we pretty please?" I looked up at him, grasping his hand really tight and giving my best pout ever!

"It's cool with me," Nick said to me. What in the world? He hated when we skipped. I thought he'd at least call me a five year old child or tell me to stop shouting. He's seems pretty calm today, less irritable? I don't know what it is.

"Yaye, I want to be in the middle!" I said, not in my inside voice. I waited for Nick to scold me, but he didn't. He was in a good mood today.

I hummed "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" because it was stuck in my head. I clasped Kurt's hand extra tight because I missed him.

Kurt must have been listening to me and recognized the song because he sang lightly at almost a whisper, "I am 16 going on 17, innocent as a rose. Bachelor dandies, drinkers of brandies, what do I know of those?"

I let go of both of their hands, and turned to Kurt and just stared. I hugged him tightly. "That's it! I must have you! I need you, Kurt. I want you so bad! Just join already!"

"I would think he's professing his undying love for you if I didn't already know he was talking about the Warblers," Nick said to Kurt.

"Oh, well Wes, I'm flattered, but I'm still not sure I want to do that here," Kurt said slowly as he patted my head.

I let go of him immediately. "Fine, but once you see us in action, you'll know for sure that we are heavenly beings descended down to earth to move the hearts of others with simply our voices."

Just then, there was an announcement over the loud speakers. "Attention Students. Classes for the rest of the day are cancelled due to the snow. I repeat Classes for the rest of the day are cancelled due to the snow. Please return to your dorms."

"I got up for nothing," I said, sadly.

The other two boys laughed. We headed back to the dorm together and discussed how high the snow had piled up. The people who drove to school probably couldn't make it today because of the road conditions or something. I was so happy! I made a snow ball and threw at Nick as he was telling Kurt about the people who didn't board. Instead of yelling he made his own and threw it at me. Kurt placed his bag above his head shielding his hair from damage, I guess. We finally made it to the dorm sopping wet, but happy.

Once we get to the lobby, Jeff, David, and Blaine are already there. Thad must have been in his room sleeping.

"Looks like you guys had some fun in the snow," Blaine said.

"Yeah, but now we're cold and wet," Kurt said.

They both just realized what they had said and blushed. "Well, before this turns into something cute or gross or whatever, I have an announcement to make," David said. All I could think about while he was talking was about those dark jeans he was wearing and how they looked really good on him. Wait he's in casual clothes that look good enough to go out in. I zoned back in and heard 'party at Caroline's place this afternoon.'

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"Caroline's having the party because their school is out until Monday because of the snow," David said. He got up from his chair and walked over to me. "So, you should go pick out something good to wear because we are going to find you a rebound girl."

"A rebound girl?" I asked.

"Yep!" David said. He leaned down and whispered in my ear. "You've been a little distant lately and I thought maybe you were just missing her, so I thought this might help."

"Oh," I said. Well, I couldn't exactly tell him that I was distant because I loved him and he made my insides go all crazy.

Just then my phone pinged. I forgot to turn it off. I was glad I wasn't in class. It was a text from Emily.

_Have you told him yet ;p –Em_

"Have you told who what yet?" David asked, reading over my shoulder.

"Oh, you know," I stammered. I thought about saying 'You. That I'm madly in love with you,' but my senses kicked in. Think, Wes, think! "That I think Blaine…should stop using so much hair gel! Yes, you do Blaine. You should stop. You're taking the gel away from those poor…whales. Yeah, whales, endangered species and all that… I've got to go do something."

I walked away quickly into my room closing and locking the door behind me. I sighed and changed clothes. Geez, it'd only been a few days since Emily and I talked about it! Of course, I hadn't told him yet. Well, we did talk the other day. She said I needed to man up already and tell David. Plus, keeping it a secret for so long isn't good. What if David takes it as me lying this whole time about being straight? I really didn't lie. I just wasn't sure, and this year I became positive that I like David so much, so I could deal with my sexuality later. I wasn't sure if I could handle all of David's questions. I'm a little worried that David might hate him, and maybe David won't want to look at me, let alone sleep in the same room as me.

What if he didn't even like me back? Of course, he wouldn't like me back. He's straight and with his dream girl. I'd complicate his life so much. He didn't need me to do that, but he still deserved the truth. I have to tell him the truth, but not tonight. I don't know. I guess after the party I could buy him an amazing dinner off campus afterwards, when we get back to the dorm, tell him everything. I thought I'd better be ready to sleep in one of those vacant rooms tonight. I needed a nap! This was some really hard thinking. So, I crashed on David's bed since that would be as close to him as I'd be able to get for a while.

I turned over a bit hearing something. I laid still and saw David. He was talking on the phone to Caroline about tonight. I guess he noticed me on the bed because he told Caroline he'd call her back in a minute. I pretended to be asleep, as I heard David walk over to me. He put a blanket on me and pushed my hair out of my face. His hands were so cold and big. I liked how his entire hand could cover my whole face. He sat down on his bed next to me, and sighed. He grabs his laptop and goes out of the room turning the light off behind him

**David's POV**

I went into the lobby in a rush because I didn't want to wake Wes up. The 5th floor lobby consisted of a couch a chair a table and a TV mounted on the wall. I always thought we should petition for more furniture but it never came to mind in the hall meetings. We would all pile up in the lobby with our Resident Assistant and talk about what we need. It's how Blaine got the coffee maker. I could never really concentrate on that. Wes would always sit on the arm of the giant chair I always sat in, and play with the strings on his hoodie and then play with the strings on my jacket and then kick his feet out and hum. I wondered where in the world he got all of that energy, but it made me happy in a sense that he was so happy. Sometimes he'd end up falling off the arm and into my lap. He'd apologize and try to get up, but I liked him there for some reason. It just felt right. I can't really explain the feeling.

I called Caroline back. "Hey, sorry about that. Wes was in the room sleeping, and I didn't want to wake him," I explained.

"Oh, whatever," she said.

"Are you still mad about me missing our date this week?" I asked

"Yes! You picked those Warblers over me!" she shouted.

"I can't just randomly miss a meeting. Wes would murder me in my sleep!" I explained. "He's crazy when it comes to his Warblers."

"You're always talking about Wes in the middle of our conversations or fights," she said sadly.

"Wait this is a fight?" I asked joking.

"Ha-ha, David, but anyway yes you are!" Caroline said.

"Well, Wes is my best friend and roommate so, I can't help but bring him up all the time," I said smiling. "We're always together."

"Okay, I'll give you that one," she said defeated. "You do talk about your friends a lot. I really can't wait to meet Blaine and Thad! Did you invite them over to my party?"

"Yes, I did, sweetie," I said. "I'm glad you've taken an interest in meeting my friends."

"Yeah, well, you like them a lot so I was just thinking that I should get to know them," she said shyly.

"Well, thanks. I hope you like them," I said. "Oh and I invited Jeff, Nick, and Kurt, as well."

"Nick and Jeff are roommates, right? Jeff is the funny one with the Justin Bieber hair, and Nick is the serious one who is always stressing about school, right?" she concluded.

"Right!" I said. "I can't believe you remember that."

"I listen to you when you talk, David," she laughed. "What about Kurt? Who's he?"

"He's new here. He moved in this past weekend," I said. "I hope he has fun at this party and gets to know everyone better."

"That's nice of you," Caroline said.

"You don't mind do you?" I asked worried.

"No, not at all!" she said.

"Thanks, I have to go finish up some work before we all head over," I told her.

"Okay, I'll see you later."

"Bye, Carebear!" I shouted.

"Really, David?" she asked.

"Yes, really. You love it and you know it," I said teasing her.

"Bye."

"Bye!"

I liked talking to Caroline to pass the time. She listened to my crazy stories about everyone and I listened to her problems. I never really talked about my problems with her before, but truthfully right now I don't have any. Yeah, school is awful, and thinking about college admission letters scares me, but that's a general problem for seniors.

By the time I finished up a paper I heard a loud groan coming from Blaine and Thad's room. It could have been either of them. I walked down the hall to check it out. Jeff peaked out of his door to go look. "What the hell was that?" he asked.

"I think it was Blaine, but I'm going to go find out," I told him and he went back in his room.

I knocked on their door and Blaine yelled, "Don't bother coming in unless you have an outfit for me to wear."

I came in anyway. I looked around and Thad was no where in site. "I was about to tell you to ask your roommate, but where is he?"

"Oh, he's 'taking a nap in a cuter boy's room,'" Blaine said adding air quotes.

"What?" I laughed.

"Yep," he said. "Remember, Thad found out I was gay and was all over me when I got here. He called me 'Cutie' for a while."

"Oh yeah!" I said. How did I forget that? Thad wanted Blaine, badly. They decided that there was no way they had enough in common to be with each other. Thad claims that once he got to know Blaine he became less cute. Blaine wasn't the sad broken little boy Thad wanted. Blaine was just a little shy at first. "It's kind of funny that you two ended up roommates after all that."

"We've become good friends over the years," Blaine said staring into his closet.

"What were you groaning about a minute ago?" I asked him.

"I can't anything to wear to this party. When we go out somewhere, I just wear uniform stuff like those sweater vests and cardigans," he said sadly. "I barely have any regular clothes here at school. They're at home safe from Thad's destruction, but I'll be sure to bring them back after this holiday."

I laughed. "If by destroy, you mean wear then yeah, Thad destroys your casual clothes all the time. Why do you need to looks so great for this party? It's just a bunch of people you already know minus the girls."

"I just want to impress Kurt with my amazing fashion sense," Blaine said shortly.

"Oh, yeah, Kurt was all about that McQueen guy," I said, sitting on Blaine's bed. "Why are you trying to impress him so bad?"

"It's nothing," he said looking away trying to hide his face.

"Blaine, it's no secret that you have a huge crush on Kurt," I said.

"Really? Does everyone know?" he asked.

"Yup," I said. "Just talk to him, and dance with him at the party."

"You say that like it's easy. I think this is more than some school boy crush," he said looking up at me. "My words get all mixed up and I end up saying something stupid. I try to be relaxed and cool around him and I think it works. But it's getting hard to hide the fact that I just want to be with him," he told me.

"How do you know that you like him more than just a crush anyway?" I asked him.

"You just know," he explained. "Sometimes when we are in a room together, it feels like the temperature has risen like 50 degrees. Other times he sends shivers down my spine when we touch or something. When he's sleeping, I love brushing his hair out of his face. I love the cute way he yawns and stretches. I like how musical his voice sounds. I like his voice in general. I love his knowledge of Vogue. I love his hair. And I care about him. I want to hurt anyone that hurts him, and if he's sad I want to hold him until he feels better. I want to hold his hand while walking through hallways and such. I want to whisper sweet nothings in his ear. I'm in love, David."

I looked at him shocked. I didn't know what to say. He looked so happy. I've felt all of those things, too, with Wes. I loved watching Wes sleep, and I have hurt people that have hurt him. But he's my best friend not my boyfriend. I kept that to myself though. I didn't want to disappoint Blaine by telling him that I feel that for my best friend. He might think that he was being silly by pursuing Kurt. Watching them interact shows that it's more than that though.

"You should wear some nice dark skinny jeans and a normal shirt so it doesn't look like you tried so hard," I smiled at him as I stood up.

"Thanks," he said.

"I'll let you change," I said as I left the room in deep thought about my feelings towards Wes paralleling Blaine's towards Kurt.

I went back to the lobby and brought my things back to the room. I was going to tell Wes more about the party plans, but he was still sleeping in my bed. I sat down and whispered in his ear. "You make me so happy. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you as a friend," I said to a sleeping Wes. He wouldn't hear it. I guess I wanted to whisper sweet nothings into Wes's ear just like Blaine wanted to do to Kurt. I didn't know what to think, so I left it alone.

It was party time so we all met in the downstairs lobby, and then headed to the parking lot.

"Wait, so why do you get to drive my beautiful Bessie?"Jeff asked me for the millionth time.

"Because I'm the only one who knows where Caroline's house is," I answered.

"What about all the snow?" he asked.

"Please, I learned how to drive in the snow," I said starting the SUV.

"Is that true?" I heard Kurt ask probably turning to Blaine.

"Normally, I would dismiss this as complete B.S., but it's true," Blaine explained to him.

"Oooh, neat!" Kurt said.

We got there and everything was pretty much in full swing. Caroline saw us come in and rushed over to us.

"Hi! I'm Caroline!" she shouted over the music.

Everyone shouted their individual name instead of letting me introduce them.

"Nice to meet everyone! There's punch over to the side and there's Band Hero up on the stage!" she shouted. "Have fun!"

"Oh my gosh! Band Hero!" Jeff yelled as he rushed to the stage. We all followed behind him. "Okay, Blaine you get the Guitar. Nick you get the bass. Thad you get the drums, and I'll sing my ass off. I'm going to put it on random, and Wes and David, you two will sing the next song that comes up whatever it is. Kurt, you can sing with me if you want to."

"No thanks," Kurt said.

"Okay, let's get started!" Jeff yelled.

The DJ stopped the music and plugged the sound up to the surround sound speakers. Everyone started grabbing the instruments assigned. Wes and I jumped off the stage. Caroline and Kurt walked off on the side. "Why are they following whatever Jeff says about the Band Hero?" Kurt asked me.

"Oh, because at a hall meeting we all voted against him on getting it for the lobby. So now every time we go somewhere and it's available for play, we all have to play it. That was the deal for him to stop bringing it up at every meeting and asking for a re-vote," I explained.

"Oh, okay," Kurt said slowly. He probably thought we were all nuts at that point.

"Carry On My Wayward Son" by Kansas came up on the screen. Although the singing was for one person, everyone joined in for the first few lines in perfect harmony.

_Carry my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest don't you cry no more_

"Oh my gosh!" Wes said excitedly. "They sang that in perfect harmony, David. See, Kurt, I train my boys well."

Kurt smiled widely, but I don't think he was thinking about the Warblers. He might have been captivated my Blaine's wonderful guitar skills. Blaine and Nick could play on hard or expert depending on their energy level not their skill level. I always thought that was cool. Wes and I however usually just stuck to singing.

"We got a pretty high score! Okay, you two it's your turn!" Jeff yelled as he jumped down from the stage. "Here," he said as he extended out two microphones to Wes and I. "I put it on duet mode for you. David's words are in blue, and Wes's words will be in red."

"When you have to sing together, the words will appear in purple," Caroline added.

"Good luck! I hope you get a good song," Jeff said.

"Thanks," I said, taking the mic. I jumped up on the stage, and Wes took the stairs on the side. The next song was "Paperweight" by Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk. I had no idea what song that was or who those people were, so I looked over to Wes for some sort of guidance. He looked a little embarrassed. I heard Caroline giggle in the background. I looked around to see Blaine suppressing a laugh and Kurt smiling. I started to ask what the song was about, but I was immediately cut off by both Blaine and Nick coming in on the guitars which were acoustic for the song.

_Wes: Been up all night _

_Together: staring at you _

_Wondering what's on your mind _

_Wes: I've been this way with so many before but this feels like the first time _

_Me: You want the sunrise to go back to bed _

_I want to make you laugh _

_Together: Mess up my bed with me _

_Kick off the covers _

_Wes: I'm waiting _

We were looking straight at each other, but suddenly, Wes started to blush and looked away from me.

_Wes: Every word you say I think _

_Together: I should write down _

_Don't want to forget come daylight _

_Me: Happy to lay here _

_Just happy to be here _

_I'm happy to know you _

I took a breath and smiled at him as he sang the next few lines still blushing. He looked adorable.

_Wes: Play me a song _

_Your newest one _

_Please leave your taste on my tongue _

Wes looked me in the eyes, and I took a step closer.

_Together: Paperweight on my back _

_Cover me like a blanket _

_Mess up my bed with me _

_Kick off the covers _

_Me: I'm waiting _

I smiled again. I couldn't help it for some reason.

_Wes: Every word you say _

_Together: I think I should write down _

_Don't want to forget come daylight _

_Wes: And no need to worry _

_That it's wasting time _

_Me: And no need to wonder what's been on my mind _

_It's you _

_Wes: It's you _

_It's you _

Wes turned to me, smiling, too.

_Together: Every word you say I think I should write down _

_Don't want to forget come daylight _

_Wes: I made it back to sleep again_

_Me: Wonder what you're dreaming_

As the song ended, Wes and I stood there breathless, just looking at each other. I wondered if he felt what I felt. He looked so happy while we were singing, and so did I. The song reminded me of us. It was perfect, but it was about two lovers… Did that matter?

I didn't have time to process my thoughts or what just happened because Caroline ran over and kissed me out of the blue. "That was amazing. You guys sing really well together. It really sucks that you got that song though," she said, laughing.

Emily walked over , too, looking only at Wes, who actually looked a little sad. "Hey, do you wanna go dance, kid?" she asked him.

"Sure," Wes said, slowly, and he took her hand and went out to the center of the room and dance as the music started up again.

I got a little bit angry. "Caroline! Why didn't you tell me Emily was going to be here, too? I wouldn't have even brought Wes since they just broke up."

"Emily is my best friend," she said. "Of course, she's here. Plus, Emily says the break-up might have been her idea, but it was completely mutual. Haven't you talked to Wes about it?"

I sighed. "No, we haven't really talked about it. I'm sorry for yelling."

"It's fine, but look see they look pretty happy for exes," Caroline said as she looked at Emily and Wes. She was right. They looked just fine. They were even smiling. I had to wonder though if that was just Wes being civil or not. "I have to go grab some more ice really quick for the punch. I'll be right back."

"Alright," I said and kissed her on the cheek.

I looked around and finally saw Blaine approaching Kurt for the first time all night. Finally! Thank the Lord. I hoped that those two would dance and kiss and confess their love for each other tonight, but that was a little hopeful. I went up to the DJ and asked him to play a slow song for them to dance to. He ended up playing "Edge of Desire" by John Mayer. That worked because they both seemed to realize it was a slower paced song than the others. I wanted to watch them further progress to dancing, but Caroline returned asking to dance.

I held her close and we swayed for a while. Eventually Caroline broke our wonderful silence by saying, "I hope he's not going to spike the punch bowl since he's lingering over there."

I laughed and sway her the other way so I could see what she was talking about. "Oh, Blaine?" I said. "No, he wouldn't do that. He's just over there because Kurt is over there. Hopefully, they're talking and just not staring at each other."

"Why do you say that?" she asked. "Are they having a fight or something?"

"No, it's not like that," I said. "Blaine just wants to get to know Kurt better."

"Oh, I got it," she said. "It's because he's new on the hallway, and you're hoping they become friends."

"Yes, and hopefully they become more than friends soon," I laughed.

She laughed. "You're silly, David."

"No, I'm being serious," I explained. "Blaine's been crushing on Kurt since he gave Kurt a tour of Dalton."

She stopped dancing. "What?"

"Yep, don't shout! I don't think anyone really knows about it," I said. I grabbed her arms to start dancing again but she pulled away from me.

"They're gay?" she asked. "Your good friend, Blaine, that you've known for years is gay.

"…Yeah…Blaine is gay," I said slowly. "Why?"

"Is Thad gay, too?" She asked louder.

"Yes, he is. Why?" I asked her.

"David, that's disgusting and I'm ashamed of you for bring such filth in my house! You brought homos here? That's just plain wrong. And there touching my things. I might get their—"

I cut her off, shouting now. "Their what, Caroline? You are horrible. They're just people. They're not going to infect you or anything!"

"But, they're gay and that's sinful!" she yelled.

"No, Caroline, it's not sinful to be who you are!" I shouted. "I love chocolate and you hate chocolate and we still get along. Why can't you just view it that way? You don't have to like or accept it but can you at least respect it or leave it alone and move on?"

"No, David, I cannot respect their decision to be gay," she said. "Nor can I leave it alone when they're in my house!"

"It's not some choice, Caroline. It's just who they are. You thought Blaine was charming. He's a charming guy who just happens to be gay," I tell her.

She looked away sad. "If that's how you see it David, you need help. They've tricked you somehow and—"

"I can't do this with you," I said, shaking from anger. "I can't be with someone who thinks that way. I don't want to be with you anymore. I'm breaking up with you."

"Fine! I don't want to be with someone that hangs out with such _trash_!" she shouted pointing at Kurt and Blaine, who I was sure had heard her, every word. I was so tempted to slap her, but I could never ever hit a girl, that just wasn't me.

I heard a smack echo through the room and everyone stopped. Emily had stepped in between us and smacked Caroline so hard that she almost lost her balance. "I'm sorry about her behavior, David," Emily said. "You guys should probably go. I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault, Emily. She just.." I said but couldn't finish.

"I know," Emily said.

I looked up and Wes had already grabbed my coat, and he was handing it to me. He looked so sad. I don't think I've ever seen him so upset, but he still tried to smile at me. We went outside and walked to the truck.

"I'm sorry, you guys, I didn't know she was like that," I said sadly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine," Thad said speaking for everyone.

"Kurt?" I asked.

"I've been called much worse than trash," he said. "I'm fine."

We all looked at him slightly surprised by his attitude towards the whole thing. I thought he'd take it much worse than anyone since he recently transferred for being bullied for being gay, and it happened again. Caroline basically bullied him just now for being gay by calling him trash in front of everyone. "I feel horrible. I am so sorry," I said.

"It'll be okay, David," Wes said as he hugged me. I needed it.

We all piled into the car slowly. I throw the keys at Jeff and get in the very back with Wes. Thad, Kurt, and Blaine sat in front of us. Nick sat in the passenger seat and directed Jeff back to the dorm because he had apparently memorized the way back just in case something happened. I still felt so awful. Wes leaned his head on my shoulder and grasped my hand making me feel a little less sad and lonely. We rode back to Dalton in a silence.

**A/N: **Thank you all so much for reading! You guys should listen to that song. It's cute! The next chapter will be a Kurt and Blaine one. And seriously I'm cool with just smiley faces as reviews. Just let me know that there are people out there reading this story haha.

**Reviews: Frances!** Thank you for your reviews on Chapter 7 and 8. They were helpful and inspiring :) Hopefully the next chapter will be exciting.

**Sarahamanda! **Thank you so much for the review! Not many people write them :)


	10. Teenage Dream

**A/N: ** Hey, thanks for reading my story! Please read and review! It'll make me happy :)

**Warning:** This story contains sexual assault, abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and strong language.

**Chapter 10: Teenage Dream **

**Kurt's POV**

Friday was finally here! Last night's party didn't go well at all. David apologized to Blaine, Thad, and I hundreds of times before room check, during room check, and sent us a text after room check. It really wasn't his fault. He had no idea. But he also shouldn't have assumed that she would be okay with. Yes, she was Christian, too, raised in the same church as he was, but still. I thought that it should have come up in conversation over the months they dated that his two of his friends were gay. I didn't say any of that to David, but I suppose that those same thoughts were the ones he was having which is why he was filled with so much guilt.

There was an email sent out to all the students saying that, unlike our sister school, Dalton Academy would be having classes because the roads were clear. Everyone else was pretty upset about the email but not me. This would be my first full day of school since I got better. I was happy to come back. I saw a lot more of Blaine in class than out. I guess that was a horrible reason to want to go to class. I still hadn't told him how I feel about him. I should have just started getting over him then before it was too late. I mean if I didn't tell him about the Karofsky incident, we would have started a nice relationship. After a while Blaine might have started wondering why I didn't like to be touched too much or make out a lot which would probably start fights about why I don't love him enough. Then, eventually, he'd leave me. So, in order for us to bypass all of that drama, I was just going to tell Blaine up front what happened. I was positive that he wouldn't want me after someone had damaged me slightly. Who would want a boyfriend who shivered or tensed up in fear during a make out session? He still should know. There was a tiny spot of hope in my mind that Blaine wouldn't care about Karofsky or my fears, and that Blaine would be okay with taking our relationship slow, but I ignored it as much as possible. I just hoped he would be able to be friends with me after all was said and done.

I sighed as I walked into the kitchen and said "Morning." I looked up after pouring a cup of coffee and noticed that only Jeff, Nick, and David were in the kitchen. "Where's Wes?"

"He's having a late morning," David said. He looked pretty tired himself. "I don't think he slept well."

"Why not?" Jeff and I asked simultaneously.

"I'm not sure," David answered. "It might have been because his ex-girlfriend was at that party last night and dancing with her upset him or something. I don't know. He's a little distant and secretive lately. I just wish he'd talk to me about what's going on up there in his head or talk to me at all. We share a room and we've barely talked this week."

"I know the feeling," Jeff said as he glared at Nick across the table. The air felt rather thick in the kitchen. It was hard to breathe.

"Kurt, why don't we go to first period a little early today?" Nick asked, looking straight into Jeff's eyes. After a moment he finally turned to me, waiting on a reply.

"Um, okay," I said, nervously. I felt like I was getting in between something though. Nick gathered his things. I put my full cup of coffee down, sadly, and followed Nick out the door.

When we got outside, there were still chunks of snow everywhere on the sidewalks, so Nick kicked some of the snow as we walked. He looked so cheerful.

"What's with all the glee?" I asked him, curiously. "Is there a new woman in Mr. Duval's life?"

He laughed. "Nope," he said as he stopped walking and smiled at me. It wasn't a normal smile. It was actually rather creepy looking and very fake. He eyes squinted too much, like he was hiding them. My dad always said that people's eyes said more things than their mouths ever could. Maybe he wasn't happy at all. Maybe he was miserable, but I couldn't tell although he did look rather relaxed. "Why do you ask?"

"It's just that I heard you were suspended from all of your extracurricular activities, including your tutoring job," I said. "Shouldn't you be really upset? You're usually worried about college, resumes, and, well, perfection."

"I'm not upset at all. I've just found a new way to relieve some of that built up pressure," he said. "All of that stuff was weighing me down, anyway. I still study, just not as hard. Like today, I don't think I studied hard enough for our English discussion, but I'm okay with that."

"Are you on some type of drug or something?" I asked, half joking.

He laughed, again. "No, Kurt, I'm fine," he said as he looked around. "Listen, how about we get out of here for today?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Skip school," he said, seriously. I just stared at him like he was insane because he was being insane. "Come on, Kurt. You hate our English teacher as much as much as everyone else. Let's just go."

"And where will we go, Nick?" I said, humoring him. Nick wouldn't dare skip class. That would damage his permanent record beyond repair for Dalton and for college. He could even lose his job permanently according to the hand book that I had read a thousand times over.

"I have no idea, but we could go anywhere you want," he said as he dangled a set of keys in between us. "I kind of borrowed Jeff's keys."

"You stole Jeff's keys!" I shouted.

"Ssshh!" Nick said. "Do you want the whole world to find out? So, are you in?"

"No, I'm not 'in'!" I yelled and yanked the keys from his hands. "What's wrong with you? You stole your best friend's keys! You want to skip school, too. Nick, none of that is okay. You could get in so much trouble, and mess up your scholarship opportunities along with your reputation that you've worked so hard to build. The Nick I know wouldn't dare do any of this. Who are you?"

"Don't talk to me like you know me, Kurt!" he said, angrily. "You've only known me for about a week, now. What if this is the real me? What if the Nick you knew was just some guy trying to be nice to you?"

"Being nice to someone is one thing, but you literally carried me to the health center, and stayed with me until you thought I was alright. You listened to me when I needed to talk to someone! You took care of me when I sick! You told me about your dad! That's more than just being nice," I yelled.

"You don't know me, Kurt," he said, quietly. "If you're not coming, then, I will go alone. Now, give me back the keys." He looked so angry and scary.

"No, I am not giving them back to you," I said as I shoved them in my pocket. "Nick, what's wrong with you? Please, tell me. Just talk to me! You don't have to run away from what you're feeling especially not like this, skipping school. All you have to do is let it out by talking to someone! Do you really want to ruin everything you've been working so hard for?" I shouted. "For someone so smart, you sure are being an idiot right about now."

He face turned from anger to hurt, the more I spoke, or yelled rather. "Fuck you, Kurt," he said as he turned the opposite direction and headed back to the dorms.

"Where are you going?" I yelled.

"Away from you!" he yelled back, not turning around to look at me.

What was that? I mean I was a little harsh, maybe. I don't know. All I knew was that Nick was off, and someone needed to find out why. I guess this was what Jeff was talking about in the kitchen. I hoped he would talk some sense into Nick, and make him come to class or at least figure out what was going on.

English started, without Nick. I made up some crappy excuse about how he wasn't feeling well today. The English teacher blamed me. She thinks that while Nick was tending to me, he caught whatever 'disease' I had. I deflected her rudeness by saying that he probably just caught a cold in the snow yesterday. Class went by extremely slowly with many glares from the teacher, and constant questioning. When class was over, I was happy to see Wes waiting for me in the hallway.

"Hey, Wes," I said to him happily.

"Hey, Kurt," he said flatly, and began walking towards French.

I followed in silence. No hugs, no skipping, no humming, and no Warbler rants. None of that seemed like Wes at all. I guess he was upset about something. If David didn't know what that something was, then, there was no way that I would figure it out. So, I didn't ask. In French, we were supposed to break into partners and talk about what we did during our snow day yesterday. Wes and I partnered up. I tried to start a dialogue going in French about cooking because he loved talking about it, but he said nothing. He just stared out the window. After a while he turned to me and finally said, in English, "Kurt, do you think it would be okay if I stayed in your room for a few days? I could try my best to move out by Monday! Can I?"

"Um, may I ask why exactly?" I asked, confused.

"I've asked for one of the single rooms on the hallway, but it won't be cleaned and ready until Monday or Tuesday," he said. He looked so sad.

"No, I meant why are you moving out of your room," I told him

"Oh, I just need some time away from David. I think that would be best for him," he answered seriously and turned back to the window.

"You mean, best for you?" I asked.

"No, him," he said. "I think I'm confusing him, and some time apart will help." He looked back at me. "I know it sounds confusing, but it's complicated and I can't explain it to you right now. I'm not ready to talk about that to anyone…"

"Um, okay, well um, then, yes. Yes, you can stay in my room for a while," I said. His face lit up. He looked so happy. "Does David know why you're leaving?"

"No, he doesn't even know that I want to move out," he said, confusing me. "Like I said, it's complicated. I'm having trouble talking to him about anything, lately, but I will try to tell him soon."

"Okay," I said, slowly, "let me know if I can help."

"What's it like being you, Kurt?" he asked out of the blue.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"What's it like being out and proud?" he asked and turned to me with worried eyes.

"It's not easy," I confessed. "I like who I am, but there are people out there who don't. They don't mind showing it either. I used to get booed at in the hallways of my old school and in public malls. People whisper when I walk by them sometimes, but I've gotten used that." I looked down at my hands trying to block out memories of my old school.

"But what about your family and friends?" he asked. "Did they treat you differently?"

I looked at him silently for a moment. I didn't really have friends. "Well, no, not really. My dad was perfectly fine with it, granted, he said that he had known since I was three years old," I smiled. "My step-brother, however, I don't know. We shared a room for a moment before we were officially brothers, and he flipped out one day. He said that he couldn't change in front of me and yelled and even indirectly called me a …fag," I whispered. Wes gasped and cringed. He looked frightened for a moment for some reason. "It's fine now. We have gotten pretty close, and he apologized a thousand times over. Why did you want to know?"

"I was just curious about being out," he said. "Do you regret coming out of the closet?"

"Even though I was bullied so much that I had to change schools, no, I don't regret it," I said honestly. "I am glad that I am out. If they couldn't accept me, then, fine. They missed out on a fabulous person. Hiding who I was would have been torture. Could you imagine being around a guy you like all the time, and him treating you like one of the guys when you really wish you were just his guy?" I laughed. "Of course, you couldn't imagine that. Never mind."

"No, I get it," he said solemnly. "I do."

Class ended. I told Wes that I'd see him at dinner. I wondered what was going on with him and David. My classes after that were just filled with thoughts, or worries. I was worried about Nick. I wondered if he had gone to any of his other classes or if he talked to Jeff or what he was doing at all. I also worried about Wes. I had never seen that boy sad about anything. He was always so energetic, but not today. What could make him want to move out of his room? He and David seemed like such good friends. None of it made sense to me. Then, again, nothing really made sense today at all.

"The Warblers are doing their impromptu performance today," Blaine said. "Didn't Wes tell you about it in French?"

"No, he didn't," I said.

"Oh, well, come on!" he said grabbing my hand. "You're going to love it!"

I didn't know where we were we going. All I could focus on was the fact that he was holding my hand and we were running. I intertwined my fingers with his, and looked up at him. I wished that we could do that all the time. We could run to class hand in hand because we were a little late . I could see us doing that often, but that was just a fantasy. When we stopped, I realized we were running to the music room where the Warblers rehearse. I saw that Wes, David, Thad, and Jeff were already there. Tons of boys started piling into the room, excited.

"So, people like the glee club at this school?" I asked Blaine.

"Yeah, of course!" He said happily. "The Warblers are like rock stars."He looked down at our hands and blushed, and he let go immediately. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just—"

"It's fine," I said, smiling brightly at him. It just made him blush more.

"Well, I've got to go. It's starting," he said as some of the boys in the room started to gather at the center.

Blaine walked slowly over towards them and began to sing.

_Before you met me, I was alright  
>But things were kind of heavy, you brought me to life<br>Now every February you'll be my valentine, valentine_

_Let's go all the way tonight_  
><em>No regrets, just love<em>  
><em>We can dance until we die<em>  
><em>You and I, we'll be young forever<em>

I noticed that he was staring right at me.

_You make me_

_feel like I'm living_

_a teenage dream_

He pointed right at me. I died just then. Died.

_The way you turn me on,_

_I can't sleep  
>Let's runaway and don't ever look back<br>Don't ever look back_

_Let's go all the way tonight_  
><em>No regrets, just love<em>  
><em>We can dance until we die<em>  
><em>You and I, we'll be young forever<em>

_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream_  
><em>The way you turn me on,<em>

By this point, I was just coaching myself on how to breathe.

_I can't sleep  
>Let's runaway and don't ever look back<br>Don't ever look back_

_Imma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans  
>Be your teenage dream tonight<em>

_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream_  
><em>The way you turn me on, I can't sleep<em>  
><em>Let's runaway and don't ever look back<em>  
><em>Don't ever look back<em>

_My heart stops when you look at me  
>Just one touch, now baby I believe<em>

When he looked at me again, I had to have been dreaming and possibly light-headed.

_This is real, so take a chance  
>And don't ever look back, don't ever look back<em>

_I'm a get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans_  
><em>Be your teenage dream tonight<em>  
><em>Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans<em>  
><em>Be your teenage dream tonight<em>

I swear he was staring at me, seriously staring me in the eyes, during that last part. It had to have just been the performance. He was just kind of acting or something. My brain was about to explode. All the boys had officially gone crazy! Nick was nowhere to be found and turned into some 'rebel without a cause.' He was trying to skip school! Mr. Perfect was going to skip school! Not only that, but he refuses to talk to Jeff, apparently. Why wouldn't he want to talk to his best friend? If I had a best friend, I'd tell them everything, the good and the bad. Wes was moving out of his BFF's room tonight. He had given David no explanation or warning, yet, as to why he was moving out. He wanted to sleep in my room for the time being, throwing me right in the middle of whatever it was that was going on between them.

And to top it all off with nuts and the fattest cherry I'd ever seen, I think Blaine just serenaded me in front of the Warblers and a good portion of the student body. But gosh, I wished I was his teenage dream. But now that he had told me how he felt in front of everyone, he probably wanted some type of answer from me. I didn't have one, really. Yes, I know, I had planned to tell him anyway, but that was going to be along with my baggage. It was supposed to be me throwing my baggage in his face, and then him not even having a response for my feelings because my baggage was too heavy for him to carry. It wouldn't work if he went first. Now, it was going to be sad. He liked me, and I liked him. Now, he would hear that I liked him, and then hear my story. After I tell him he will probably just say that he can't deal with all that, and I don't know if I'm willing to hear that from him or not. He liked me. He's going to seem like a real jerk when he tells me he can't stick around because of that incident. He actually liked me and I have to ruin it and ruin him.

I sighed. It was hotter than the sun in this room. As more boys started to crowd around the Warblers in congratulations, I slipped out of the room and headed toward the dining hall for lunch.

**Blaine's POV**

Wow. Just wow. I had finally told Kurt how I felt in a way. I broke free of all the boys and their congrats, trying to find Kurt. I made it to the spot where he was standing, but he wasn't there. I knew that that was the spot. My eyes never left it while I sang. Where did he go? Was it too much? I knew it was. That's probably why he ran away. He probably wanted some sort of private confession that didn't include a third of the school. I messed up! I grabbed my bag and headed toward the lunch room hoping to find Kurt there. There were other possibilities as to why he didn't stick around though. Maybe he just didn't like crowds, all those people brushing up against him accidentally, and the feeling of being squeezed next to all those guys was probably awful for him. Damn it! I screwed up.

I walked through the doors anxiously searching for Kurt. There were more boys in here than I'd ever seen. I looked down at my watch. It was right in the middle of the lunch hour. Great. I'd never find my boy. My boy. He wasn't officially mine, yet. I didn't know how he felt about me at all, yet. Well, technically, he would never be mine because I don't own him. He's not just some piece of property or anything. I rolled my eyes and sighed. I couldn't believe that I was trying to justify myself in my own mind to myself. I wouldn't want me either.

I shook my head to rid myself of those negative thoughts and began searching for Kurt. He was wearing his blazer today so, at first, I only looked at boys with blazers. That of course didn't work because as I started looking around the majority of the boys had blazers on. Of course, only Kurt would have multiple pins on the front of his. He was wearing his hippo pin that day. Where on earth did he buy such interesting broaches? Shopping with Kurt was going to be a blast. I had to find him first before I started planning dates in my head. I mean how hard was it to find a boy with such perfectly done hair and dreamy blue eyes? I closed my eyes and left out a deep breath. I needed to focus, but it didn't matter how much I looked around. There was no way I would find him in this packed cafeteria so I gave up and grabbed a tray.

I sat at my usual table hoping Kurt would just show up out of nowhere saying he had to grab something out of his room or something. If he just didn't show up, then that meant …something that I didn't even want to think about.

"Blaine!" Jeff yelled. "So, how did Kurt like the show?" He sat across from me and smiled. "Is he getting a salad or something?"

I sighed and looked away. "I don't know where is or how he took it," I said. "He ran off somewhere before I could talk to him. He's probably getting some books or something for his next few classes. Or maybe he's not feeling well. This is his first day back and all. He just—"

"I'm sorry, Blaine," Jeff interrupted. "I know you like him a lot. It's messed up that he just blew you off like that."

"I don't think he blew me off," I defended. "I really do think he just had something to do. Kurt doesn't seem like the type of person who would do that to someone."

Jeff sighed. "Okay, Blaine."

"What you really think he ditched me?" I said louder than I was supposed to. "Am I not good enough for Kurt? Do you think I'm not worth time and effort? He didn't even come reject me properly if that's what he is doing by running away after the performance. He could have at least waited and told me something, Jeff…"

I don't know when I started crying or when Jeff had come over to my side of the table, but there we were in the middle of the cafeteria, hugging me tightly. "I'm sorry, Blaine, that's not what I meant at all," he said quietly.

I sniffed. "I know, but that's how I feel right now."

"Like you said, Kurt's not that kind of guy," he said. "I'm sure he has some sort of explanation."

I nodded. I didn't want to argue. At this point I was too tired to. Thinking about it sucked away my energy. The crying probably aided in that as well. I really wasn't even sure myself how I felt about the situation. Only Kurt could give me a clue as to why he left and an answer to my confession.

As soon as I finished crying Jeff let me go and returned to the other side of our round table. We ate in silence for a few moments. "I know this is a bad time to ask, but have you seen Nick around today?" Jeff asked me.

I lifted my puffy eyes from my half eaten sandwich and said, "Really, Jeff? You want to talk about Nick right now, as always."

"No, I'm seriously, legit worried about him!" he said. "He didn't show up to German this morning."

"What?" I shouted. "The Nicholas Duval did not come to class! Is he sick? No, he'd go to class if he were sick. Is he fatally ill or injured?"

"Exactly!" Jeff agreed."He wasn't in class. I made up some bullshit about how he was 'under the weather today' to the teacher though. The truth is that I don't know where he is! He could be off doing…anything!"

I looked worried for a moment. I knew Jeff was going to say 'cutting' instead of 'anything.' I didn't know what to say or how to comfort him. Nick had been under a lot of stress lately, and I didn't know how he was handling it. Neither did Jeff because Nick hadn't said much to him about anything.

"Look, I know I'm always overreacting when it comes to Nick," Jeff sighed. "I know it bothers him that I act like an overprotective mother sometimes, but I just want him to be okay. I want to know that he is okay and I need him to be okay. I don't want him to feel like he used to, and I don't want to worry about him and feel like I used to either. I just want him to be happy."

"I know, Jeff," I said. "I get it. I don't think the way you behave when it comes to Nick is irrationally at all. He's just your best friend, and you're worried about him. That's fine."

"Thanks," he said, loosening his grip on his fork."Anyway, I was going to ask Kurt if he showed up to first period after you two…talked or whatever, but he's not here…either…"

"Yeah," I said.

We finished lunch in an awkward silence, and headed to class. I suddenly remembered that all of my afternoon classes accept one, were with Kurt.

Classes went by so slowly. This past week I had been so excited for Kurt to get better and come to class. Sure, we didn't talk in class because we weren't supposed to but having him around was supposed to make me feel…different. I don't know how to describe it. I just wasn't supposed to feel like this. Even though he's going out of his way to avoid me, he's still all I'm thinking about. I hadn't taken a single note all day. I shouldn't have sang to him. Before he knew about my feelings everything was fine. I had to ruin it. I even texted Kurt in History. All the message said was 'hey.' I didn't want to say anything meaningful or fancy through a text message. It wouldn't feel right. It didn't matter anyway because he didn't even respond. I watched him reach into his pocket and his phone under his desk just so he could read the text, but he didn't even look my way. He did look rather sad after he read it. He looked upset every time I did look at him this afternoon which was every chance I got. Why, though? If he was upset because he felt horrible about not being able to return the feelings I have for him, then, that would mean that Kurt truly was a nice person. That thought made me want to be with him even more.

I'm so confused! I really needed Kurt to give me some sort of sign as to what was going on in that head. I thought for a moment that Kurt might even like me back because of the way he blushes too when our eyes meet or when hands brush. Thinking about it made me smile. Maybe he's just not ready! That has to be it! He's probably not ready to even be in a serious relationship right now! He just moved to a new school, and he's trying to fit in. After what happened at his old school, he probably…oh my gosh. He was basically sexually assaulted. Why didn't think about that? He probably won't be ready to be with anyone for a while. I'll just have to talk to him after dinner. We didn't have Warbler practice today so, that's what I'd do. I'll talk to him. Even if we can't be together I still want him to know that I really like him. I told David that I was in love with Kurt, and I was. I really was, but I couldn't just drop that bomb on him. I'd keep it simple. I'd just have to get through this awkward dinner.

At the end of our last class, Kurt had to stay afterwards and turn in some make-up work. I went ahead to the cafeteria. I grabbed some spaghetti and meatballs for a change. I wasn't really in the mood for food but I got it anyway. I started to hand my card to the lunch lady, but Jeff handed her his instead.

"I got it," he said to me. "Think of it as an apology for my tactlessness earlier. Is that word 'tactlessness'? Whatever. You know what I mean."

"It's fine, Jeff," I said. "Thanks."

We sat down at our usual rectangular table. Jeff sat down across from me and we sighed. I was going to ask him how his day went, but David came running up.

"Hey," he said, taking a seat next to Jeff. "Sorry, I'm running late today. I was working on something."

"Where's Wes?" Jeff asked.

"I don't know…" David said, quietly.

"Oh…" I said.

Nick came over with a plate of fries and sat down next to Jeff. "Hey, everybody!" he said.

"Hey…" Jeff said, slowly. "Where ya been?"

"Oh, you know, around," Nick said, taking a bite of a fry, smiling.

"You weren't in class today," Jeff said. "Are you okay? Are you sick?" Jeff put his hand on Nick's forehead. "You don't have a fever…"

Nick swatted Jeff's hand away. "No, _mom_, I don't have a fever, and I'm not sick. I just wasn't feeling school today."

"…you just weren't feeling school today?" Jeff asked bewildered.

"Yeah," Nick said casually as he continued eating.

Jeff's face switched from various emotions of confusion, worry, anger, and sadness. He took a few deep breaths and calmed down. "Um, okay, have you seen my keys? I think I lost them somewhere."

A hand jingled the keys in front of his face. We all looked over to see that it was Kurt. "Here, ya go," Kurt said to Jeff. "I found them lying around somewhere."

"Oh, thanks, Kurt," Jeff said as he took the keys and put them in his pocket.

Kurt looked down at me and then sat down leaving a seat between us. He looked down and started pushing the salad around with his fork. I sighed. I stood up and grabbed my tray to sit right next to Kurt. It was ridiculous that he couldn't even sit next to me at dinner.

"Hey," Wes said to everyone as he walked up behind me. David moved his blazer out of the seat next to him so Wes could sit there, but instead Wes sat in the seat between me and Kurt.

I sighed and sat back down. Everyone at the table gave me a strange look, but I ignored them and pushed my pasta around my plate. Kurt must have asked Wes to sit in between us to make things less awkward, but this is just even more awkward. The only other explanation that makes sense was that Wes was avoiding David which would be ridiculous because those two were inseparable. I looked over to Kurt for some sort of sign, but he looked away.

"So, Kurt, now that you've seen the Warblers in action, what do you think of my boys?" Wes asked. "Aren't their melodious harmonies just electrifying?"

Everyone looked to Kurt for an answer. No one really seemed in the joking mood today.

"Oh, come on Kurt!" Wes begged. "Just join already!"

"I don't know about it, Wes," Kurt said quietly.

Wes looked at him sadly and said, "Okay, well, try-outs are next week so, let me know."

"I will," Kurt said as he stood up. "I'm going to go. I'm not that hungry."

Before any of us had time to protest, he was gone. The rest of the dinner conversation continued with random comments about everyone's day. Everyone was careful to avoid talking about the performance since it obviously didn't go as planned. It wasn't really even my idea. Wes, David, and Jeff were all convinced that it was finally time to tell Kurt how I felt because he _clearly_ felt the same way. I stupidly agreed. I guess they were wrong. I tried to zone into their conversations about Warblers and school, but I couldn't focus. All I could think about was Kurt. I got up from the table abruptly.

"Where are you going?" Nick asked.

"To talk to Kurt," I said as I quickly dashed out of the cafeteria and to the dorms.

Once I got to the dorm I threw my coat and my backpack on my bed then headed to Kurt's room. When I got to his door, I paced a little bit, thinking that I was being too forward or irrational or something. Before, I could knock, the door opened.

"Hi Blaine," Kurt said. He opened the door wider and extended a hand to invite me in.

I walked in and then stopped in the middle of the floor. "Wait, how did you know that I was outside your door?"

"Oh, I could hear you pacing and mumbling to yourself," Kurt said, smiling slightly.

"Oh gosh," I said, embarrassed. "Was I that loud?"

"No, not really," he said. "You were the only one out there, and you were right in front of my door so maybe that's what it was."

"Oh," I said as he took a seat on his bed.

He patted a hand down on his bed next him. "Sit down, Blaine," he said. "You're making me nervous."

"Right," I said as I stared at the spot on his bed. I had to tell him how I felt. This was it. I finally sat down.

"You know you really would look better if you didn't use so much gel in your hair, Blaine," Kurt said with a faint smile. He wasn't making this easy.

"Kurt, I…" I started, but nothing else would come out. I didn't know how to start the conversation. I didn't know how to tell him.

"I enjoyed your performance today," he said. "It was breathtaking, literally."

"Um, thanks," I said. He liked it! "Wait, if you liked it, why did you run away after we were done?"

"Oh, I'm, um, not a big fan of crowds so, I figured that I'd just meet you at lunch," he said.

"I went to lunch and looked all over for you!" I told him.

"I was actually looking all over for _you_. When I finally did find you, you and Jeff were talking and you looked pretty upset. I didn't want to interrupt so, I sat somewhere else," Kurt said shyly.

"Oh," I said, quietly. We sat in silence for a moment. "I sang that song for you, Kurt," I said finally.

"I thought so…" Kurt said as he fiddled with his hands in his lap.

"You know, ever since I first laid eyes on you, I couldn't help but think 'He's beautiful,'" I said to him. He blushed. "No, really I did. I liked how perfect your hair was, your smile, and your eyes are just so captivating."

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Kurt, I want to be with you. I want to hold your hand while walking down the hallways like I did today, briefly. I want you to tell me when you're upset so I can try my best to make you feel better. I want to listen to your long winded rants about how you envision the next cover of Vogue to look like. I want to spend every day with you. I want to make you smile, and just make you happy. That's what I want. I want us to be happy…together. I want _you_ to be happy. If you can't be happy with me, then, I hope that you do find happiness, Kurt."

That was it. That's all I could say without freaking him out. I didn't want to tell him that I secretly loved all those things about him. I didn't tell him that I love his voice, and I love the way he looked after a nap even though he hated it. I didn't tell him that I want to wake up to him being there. I hoped he understood that I did just want to be with him. I didn't want sex or anything like that. I just wanted him to want to be with me, too, and just be.

I looked over to see Kurt covering his face. He was so red, and so adorable. "Blaine, I—"

Someone, at that exact moment, started knocking on the door repeatedly.

"Come in!" Kurt yelled.

It was Wes. "Kurt, I brought a few things just for tonight. I'll get the rest later. I just need to be away for a while. Plus, I really wasn't paying attention in French today, and I thought I could just copy your notes."

"Okay," Kurt said. He let Wes in and he was carrying a duffle bag. He started to pull out sheets and a comforter. He stopped as soon as he saw me.

"Blaine!" he said, putting his things down in a rush. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just talking to Kurt," I told him.

"Oh, I'm sorry that I interrupted you two!" Wes said. "I could go."

"No, that's fine," I said. "I've got some work to do anyway." I stood up and headed for the door. "I'll see you two tomorrow," I said as I closed the door.

I headed straight to my room and collapsed on my bed. I yelled into my pillows. It's not fair! I was so close to getting an answer from him! I guess I'd have to wait until later. Well, from the looks of it, Wes was going to be camping out for the night so, we wouldn't have any alone time to talk.

My phone buzzed, and there was a text from Kurt.

_We'll talk more tomorrow when Wes isn't around ;) –Kurt_

I smiled, and put my phone back in my pocket. I guess, now, I waited. This was going to be a long night.

**A/N: **I hoped you like it even though it was kind of short! I also hope there was enough drama in there for you ;) But to be honest I kind of didn't this chapter lol. It didn't seem exciting enough to me.

**Reviews: Frances! **I really do appreciate your reviews. And yeah, I like how Wes and David have a sort of less heavy high school problem of discovering their sexualities. With everyone else's drama I had I to have something normal-ish in there. lol. I hope you liked this chapter.

**Meghan! ** I'm so glad you like it!I will not stop writing this story until it is done or I am hospitalized or break my arm or my computer breaks or something lol. So, I will definitely update every week or two weeks depending on my course load.


	11. Bliss

**A/N: ** Hey, thanks for reading my story! Please read and review! It'll make me happy :)

**Warning:** This story contains sexual assault, abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and strong language.

**Chapter 11: Bliss**

**Kurt's POV**

I woke up from the sound of rattling pots or pans from the kitchen. I stood up and stretched. On the way to brushing my teeth I tripped over a duffle bag. What the hell was that doing there? I got to the bathroom and reached for my toothbrush and there were two in the holder. I had forgotten about Wes's stay. I thought a Friday night slumber party with Wes would a little fun. He was such a ball of energy that I figured we would be doing some random things, but we didn't. We didn't really even talk. When we did joke around, it felt forced. I still didn't know why he was in my room, and if was personal, then, that was fine. His behavior worried me though. What could be so horrible or stressful that it made Wes so quiet? He barely said a word to me last night. He barely made a noise. He looked so tired. I think heard him crying, too. I asked if he was alright, but he pretended not to hear me.

A crash from the kitchen interrupted my thoughts. I ran over to the kitchen to find Wes with a few cake pans on the table, a bowl, and a few pots that must have fallen to the floor. I closed the door to the kitchen so we wouldn't wake anyone else on the hallway. I rushed over to help him pick them up.

"You don't have to do that, Kurt," Wes said as he put the pots in the sink.

"No, it's fine," I said, handing him the rest of the pots. "What are you doing up so early?"

"I just wanted to make a few things, today," He answered as he started washing things.

I walked over to the oven to see what he had been making. "Oh, so, you've decided to make a 4-layer cake, lasagna, and cheesy potatoes?"

"Yeah," he said, nervously, "I did."

"Why?" I asked.

"I just bake a lot when I'm stressed out about school," he said, irritated.

"What are you stressed out about?" I asked. "Your grades are fine, and you didn't seem to be struggling in anything while we did our homework last night. Is it something else?"

"No, I'm fine!" he shouted.

"Okay," I said. I guessed I'd better leave him alone. "I'll just go back to the room."

"No, Kurt, wait," Wes said. "You can stay, and I'm sorry. I'm just a little tired."

"It's okay," I assured him.

"No, it's not," he said as he stopped washing dishes and cleaned his hands. He walked over to the table and took a seat so I did the same. "I…Thank you, Kurt. You're letting me stay in your room without any clear explanation, and I'm being a jerk."

"It really is fine, Wes," I smiled. "You seemed to be going to through a rough patch right now."

"I guess I am in a way," Wes said quietly. "I just…I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I said as I got up from the table and made some coffee. "So, did you talk to David last night or this morning?"

"No, why do you ask?" Wes looked up at me confused.

"Oh, well, I got up in the middle of the night, and you weren't there. It was pretty late though," I said.

"Oh, no, I didn't," he said.

"Oh, well where'd you…Have you been here since last night? Did you sleep at all? And David still doesn't know why you just up and moved out?" I asked.

"Not all night," he said as he took the finished cake parts out of their pans and stacked them onto a cake plate. "I got some sleep, just not a lot. I was just here a little while before sunrise, so it was today, this morning…" He sighed. "I still haven't figured out what to say to David yet."

"Wes…what's been keeping you up? Is it just what's going on between you and David?" I asked, worried. "If it is, you should just talk to him. I'm sure David will understand."

"No, Kurt, he won't understand," he said, putting the pan down. "He won't understand," he said with teary eyes.

I got up and went over to the chair next to him and hugged him. "David's your best friend. Of course, he'll understand. You two seem to have really wonderful friendship," I said.

"That's why he won't understand, Kurt," he sniffed. "I love him, Kurt."

"I'm sure he loves you, too, Wes," I said. I was getting really confused.

"No, Kurt," he said as he let go of me and looked me in the eye. "I'm in love with him! I love David!"

He buried his face into my chest and started to cry. "Is that why you asked me about what it was like to be gay in French yesterday?"

I felt him nod on my chest. "When did you realize you liked him?"

"I don't know," Wes said. "I guess I've known since we got here to Dalton together, maybe sophomore year. I'm not sure. I know that's a long time, but I wasn't sure what to make of it. I finally came to terms with my feelings for him, and talked to my girlfriend. She says she kind of knew already." He smiled a little as he pulled back from me and sat up. "Then, I wasn't sure if I was gay or not. I didn't know what to think of it all, and I've decided that I don't really care. All I know is that, yeah, I am in love with my best friend, and if me loving him makes me 'gay' or whatever then I guess I'm gay."

"Congratulations, Wes!" I shouted and stood and clapped.

"…why are you congratulating me?" he asked.

"Because you just sort of kind of came out to me and I think that should always be celebrated somehow," I told him happily.

"But I haven't told anyone but you and Emily," he said.

"It doesn't matter. It takes a lot of courage to just tell someone something like that when you don't really know how they are going to respond to it," I explained.

"I still haven't told David," he said sadly. "I need to…but I'm afraid of how he will take it."

"David seems pretty open to gay people to me, Wes, especially with that whole Caroline disaster. So, I'm sure he will take it just fine," I told him.

"Yeah, I know he won't have a problem with me being gay, but he will have a problem with me being in love with him," Wes said. "He'll probably treat me differently. He might not want to hang out with me the way he always does. I know he's straight, and I know he won't be able to tell me that he likes me, too. I just don't want to hear it. I don't want the person I love to tell me that he's incapable of loving me the way I love him because our parts don't go together the way he would like. It's stupid, and it makes me sad, and I can't bear to hear him reject me, Kurt," he finished sadly.

"From what I see, Wes, is that you not telling him how you feel is eating you up," I said. "You aren't sleeping well. You aren't paying attention in class. You're tired, and you look miserable. David is probably wondering what's wrong with you too. I understand that since you like him that way, you don't want to live with him anymore, but you should tell David, soon. He looks just as upset as you do lately."

"I'll try my best to tell him soon," he said with a smile. "We could talk while awkwardly moving my things into my new room!"

"Well, maybe, before you move out, so you can hear his response, or something less awkward," I said, slowly.

"Yeah, I'll think of something," he said. "Nothing as public as what Blaine did, but something," he said playfully. "So you haven't changed your mind, right? You are still going to tell him today?"

"No, Wes, from the time of our pillow talk to now, I have not changed my mind," I informed him. "I am still not sure if I want to be a Warbler and although I am extremely nervous about it all, today, I am going to officially become Blaine Anderson's boyfriend if he'll have me."

Wes laughed. "He'll have you. That song was exactly how he felt. He likes you a lot, Kurt."

"Thanks for the reassurance," I said. Of course, Wes didn't know why I was afraid Blaine would reject me, but he still made me feel better.

"And when you guys make it officially, we can all eat this cake!" Wes shouted.

"I will attend the get-together, but I will not eat the cake," I said.

"Aw, why not?" he asked.

"Because it'll go straight to my thighs and no one wants a fatty," I said.

Wes laughed and got up to finish the dishes. "Kurt, I doubt you'll get fat from one slice of cake."

"You say that now," I said.

"Plus, I'm sure that Blaine will probably just think you're an adorable fatty," Wes said jokingly.

I laughed and blushed a little thinking of me and Blaine together.

"There's someone outside running," Wes told me randomly. "He's been out there out there since we started talking. It startled me because he looked right up at the window and waved."

I got up and looked over to see the boy Wes was referring to. "Who do you think it is?"

"I'm pretty sure it's Nick," he said, sadly. "He runs a lot in general because he's on the track team. He runs around all of the dorms a few thousand times. When he's super stressed, he runs for hours without stopping. I heard he skipped the whole day yesterday."

"Nick, seriously, skipped _all_ of his classes?" I asked, appalled. "I knew he skipped first period but I thought maybe he went to some of them…"

"Yeah, he really did it, but all of the teachers assumed he was sick because it was Nick," Wes said. "And Nicholas Duval did not skip school without him being near death."

"Oh," I said. For one, I had no idea he was on the track team. I bet Nick's resume was 27 pages of just extracurriculars. And I also didn't know he actually skipped every single class. What did he do all day? I had hoped his stress wasn't from our fight though on top of everything else. "I'm going to go check on him, see you later."

"Okay, see you later, Kurt," Wes said as he waved. "And thank you."

"No problem," I said and winked as I left the kitchen.

I went to my room quickly. I grabbed my running shoes and a jacket and headed outside. I would never wear or own tennis shoes, but Dalton requires us to document at least "30 minutes of wellness a week" which meant exercise which meant running or lifting weights. We even had physicals where we were weighed and had to run a mile in a "sufficient" amount of time. They said it was just for our benefit to make sure we were healthy growing boys. I guess all of that was fine and better than actual P.E. classes. It was great really. I haven't done it yet because I'm excused because of my shoulder, but all I'm supposed to do is go to the gym on campus, swipe my I.D., stay for thirty minutes, and then leave. Jeff told me about how some people just play a round of Dance, Dance Revolution, and then leave. Some people play pool. So, I assumed that they were pretty lenient. I planned on sitting on one of those lovely black leather couches, and reading _Vogue_. Turning pages was definitely a workout for Kurt Hummel. Wait, I could exercise with Blaine or just watch him. God, I bet he looked incredible covered in sweat, lifting weights. Wow, I just couldn't get the images out of my head of all the possibilities. I would definitely be getting more than 30 minutes of wellness a week if I went to the gym with Blaine.

I shook my head as I got outside. I had to focus and find Nick, then, I could talk to Blaine.

When I finally caught up to Nick, he said, "Hey," and kept running. I decided to just run with him and talk at the same time.

"Hey," I finally said, breathlessly. "I'm sorry about our argument yesterday. I didn't mean that you were stupid or anything. I was just worried and you weren't really yourself. You haven't been talking to me much and I think—"

"Kurt," Nick interrupted. "Don't apologize to me. I was being an ass yesterday. I tried to steal my best friend's car to ditch school. I kind of deserved to be yelled at. I went back to my room and thought about it and calmed down and realized you were right. I've just been really stressed about…everything lately."

"I noticed," I told him. "I'm still sorry though."

"Don't worry about it," he said as he slowed his pace down to a jog as he spoke. "You're right I do need some way of getting my frustrations out, but I don't want to talk to anyone about it."

"Oh, what are you going to do then?" I asked him.

"I've got it under control," he said.

"Uh huh," I said. "Sure you do. Skipping all of your classes is not a good way to relieve stress. It's ridiculous. It's crazy—"

"Kurt, I know," Nick said with a smile. "I'm never doing it again. I just needed a day to clear my head." He reached down and rubbed his leg a little.

"You need a new quick way to clear your head besides missing school, Nick," I said.

"You mean like smoking?" he asked, joking.

"No, not like smoking," I said and laughed. "Next time, we could just talk about all the stuff that's stressing you out. I could help you organize your calendar more! You need hobbies that aren't just for school, not like drugs or anything. You need things that just relax you and just happen to be able to go on your resume."

"Yeah you're right which is why I'm running now," he said. "Running is a great way to relieve stress, and it clears my head."

"Yeah, I guess," I said. I never really thought of that before I came out here. I was more worried than anything else. "You should also think about dropping a few extracurricular activities, too." Nick gave me a shocked glanced at the thought of doing that so I revised that statement. "I mean not a few maybe just start with one or two."

"Sure, I could just quit the Warblers and the track team or maybe the student council," he said. "Or maybe I could even quit my tutoring job that helps me pay tuition here."

"Ha-ha, Nick," I said. "But seriously think about it. It'd probably be good for you to take a break from a few things. You should stop worrying so much about 'what ifs', too. You're always so prepared for everything. Would it be so bad if you were prepared as much as any normal person would be?"

"It'd be awful," he said.

"No, you'd be like the rest of us: human," I said. "We are allowed to make a mistake or two once in a while. Plus, you're a very secluded person, Nick. Your friends barely know you. I get why Jeff is always so worried about you, now, too. You never let people in, and you need to. You need to let people know how you feel and what's going on in your life, especially your friends. We're here to help you. Promise me you'll talk to me if you ever get too stressed out."

"I promise I'll talk to you, Kurt," he said. "But what will I say?"

"Just tell me what's bothering you and we'll go do something," I said.

"Okay," he smiled. It was nice to see him smile.

I looked over to him, and he rubbed his leg again. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said as he sped up a little.

"But you were just rubbing your leg like it hurt," I said, confused. He was lying to me.

"It's fine. I hurt the other day doing something," he said. "It'll be okay."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it, Kurt," he said.

He sped up even more, and put more pressure on his hurt leg. It was strange. I figured he'd be limping, but it seemed like the pain didn't bother him at all, or he was used to it. I was worried, but I left it alone knowing he would just say he was fine. "Okay," I said. "What exactly did you do for a whole day without school?"

"I slept mostly," he said, as he sped up even more. "I read a few things, and did a little homework, and slept some more."

"That's was definitely an exciting day," I joked. He just smiled and slowed down a little bit.

"So, how did Blaine serenading you go?" he asked. "I missed it."

I blushed. "Um, I, …he likes me," I said, dumbfounded.

"Yeah, I got that," Nick laughed. "What'd you tell him?"

"Nothing, yet, but I will today hopefully," I said. "Wait, how did you know about it if you weren't there?"

"The Warblers planned that," he said. "Yeah, I missed practice, but Wes, Thad, and David have been discussing it since that day we heard you sing and saw Blaine flirting with you or whatever. They make up the council so, of course, they went through with it."

"Oh, wow," I said. "I had no idea." I hadn't even thought of all the preparation that went into that. Blaine had all of the Warblers there to help him serenade me, so did they all know that he liked me?

"Are you going to tell him about what happened at your old school?" Nick asked out of the blue. "I mean I know you're probably not going to be too keen on heavy petting and making out right away…after what happened. How are you going to explain that to Blaine?"

"I'm going to tell him everything today, and hopefully he will still want to be with me," I said confidently.

"Good for you, Kurt," he said. "I'm glad you're okay with telling him. Blaine will take it just fine. He's over the moon for you, as they say."

"Thanks, so back to you Mr. Deflector," I said. "Are you going to talk to Jeff or someone about your stress and such?"

"Yeah, of course," he said as he sped up some. "I will talk to him soon."

"Okay, that's good, but you know you can talk to me, too, right?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he said, slowing down a bit. "I know."

"Well, I'm going to head back inside," I said to him as we reached the front doors of our dorm. "Are you sure you are okay, Nick?"

"Yeah," he said running a bit faster. "I'm doing pretty well."

I sighed. "See you later, Nick."

"Bye!" he said as he ran off.

He lied. I couldn't believe it. Every time he sped up while we ran, he told a lie. It was like he was literally running away from the truth. He wasn't fine at all, but he wasn't going to talk to me about it or Jeff anytime soon. At least he promised to talk to me if he got too stressed, and I believed him. I would have to try to get something out of him another time because I needed to get ready for my talk with Blaine. I didn't want to tell him I liked him, too, while wearing tennis shoes and sweat pants. That'd be awful. Once I got up to my room, Blaine was standing right outside my door. Great. He looked perfect and then there was me. I was in grey sweats, a white shirt, and tennis shoes. I was even sweating a little. I thought I'd die of embarrassment.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," I said, breathlessly. I hated the way he did that to me. He made my heart beat faster and faster every time I looked at him. When I finally was able to speak, I always sounded out of breath. Blaine Anderson would literally be the death of me.

"I was wondering if we could talk, but you weren't answering your phone, so I just decided to come by because you are literally right next door. When I got to the door, I wasn't sure if I should knock because you might have been sleeping which would explain you not answering your phone so I was going to just go back to my room…" Blaine rambled. I really loved his rants. They were so cute and I'm positive that the longer he talked, the wider my smile got.

"I'm glad I showed up so your brain wouldn't explode with thought," I said.

"Yeah, I'm glad…" he said shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I think I left my phone in the kitchen earlier, so you can go in while I go get my phone. The door's open," I told him.

He looked at me in disbelief and slowly turned the knob. "Oh okay, see you in a sec."

"Yeah, see you in a second," I said, walking over to the kitchen as Blaine entered my room, trying to remember if I had made my bed or not that morning.

**Blaine's POV**

I closed the door behind me and took a seat on the bed, on Kurt's bed. I had been anxious all night! I mean he said he'd talk to me "tomorrow" instead that night. We could have met up late at night somewhere private right outside the doors, but I guess Kurt wanted to make sure that Wes was okay, which was something else I liked about Kurt. He was always taking care of others. He's been really chummy with Nick lately and getting him to open up. He's even trying to help Wes with his problems too. Kurt was truly a dream come true in every way possible. He was simply wonderful from his eyes and smile to his intelligence and kindness. I love him, and I hope that one day he will come to love me, too. First, of course, I had to find out exactly how he felt towards me. I stared at the door completely terrified at what Kurt would say to me.

The door opened and Kurt closed it behind him. "Hey, sorry about that. With all the baking Wes is doing, I'm surprised it didn't get baked into a pie," he said, seriously, but I laughed anyway.

He looked at me and took a deep breath. It worried me. Did that mean that he had bad news? He sat next to me on the edge of the bed, and our hands almost brushed. He moved his hand back immediately and scooted to the head of the bed and sat in Indian style. There was so much space between us. He grabbed a pillow and hugged it. He looked right at me and opened his mouth to say something but closed it. He clutched his pillow tightly and looked down.

"Blaine, I don't know how I am going to follow your speech from yesterday, and I'm not going to try," he said. "I just want you to know that I like how charming you are. You are really polite and careful with your wording even when you're around your friends. Sometimes you make me feel like I'm in the 'happily ever after' part of a fairy tale just by smiling at me. I love how your eyes are this amazing topaz color that I've never seen before. I like how you always smell like fresh coffee even at the end of the day. It's like your blood is made of the stuff." I laughed at that.

"I said all that just to say, Blaine, I do like you a lot. I would love to be your boyfriend, but there is something I have to tell you first," Kurt said, slowly. He looked away me, and took a breath. He looked so afraid. What did he have to tell me? "I want to have a normal relationship with you, as in hand holding….making out…and eventually sex, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for all of that at a normal pace…" I gave him a confused look. Yeah, I thought about doing all those things, too, but I hope he knows that those things weren't really my top priority in our relationship. "I…this guy…well, something…he—"

"Kurt, stop," I said. He looked like he was about to burst into tears, and I couldn't take that. I couldn't see him like that. I scooted up next to him on the bed. I knew exactly where this was going. "If it's about what happened at your other school, then, I know," Blaine said sadly. "I heard you telling your dad about it. We share a wall, a very thin wall….The point is I don't care about that. Well, I do care. It's just that it doesn't bother me in the way you think it does. I'm not the kind of guy who just goes into a relationship wanting sex."

"You don't want to have to sex with me," he asked, sadly.

"No. I mean yes! Yes, I do eventually," I said, awkwardly. This was getting complicated. "What I'm trying to say is that I understand that because of what happened, what that jerk did, then, you might want to take things slowly. That is perfectly fine with me! I don't mind at all I just want to be with you. Well, as in dating you…officially, not as in be with you sexually. I mean I want that too, but when you're ready. I mean—"

"Blaine!" Kurt shouted. "Please, stop talking." He hugged me tightly. We both blushed. "So, you don't care that I'm slightly damaged?"

"Kurt, you're not damaged in anyway," I told him. "You're an amazing person, and no one can ever take that from you."

He blushed even more. "And you don't mind taking it slow?" he continued.

I smiled. "No, Kurt, I don't mind at all. We can just start like this," I said as I took Kurt's hand in mine and intertwined our fingers, slowly. "I just want to hold your hand."

"Like the Beatles song?" Kurt asked, cutely.

"Like the Beatles song," I replied with a smile. We were so close and I wanted to kiss him, but I figured it was too soon for that for him. I'd wait forever for a kiss from Kurt, though.

"Well, I need to shower after my morning run with Nick," Kurt said.

"Oh, right, okay," I said. "Walk me to my room?"

He laughed. "Sure, Blaine, of course."

I got up off of the bed and opened the door for him. "After you."

"Thank you," Kurt smiled.

I closed the door behind me as I left the room. I smiled at Kurt and reached out my hand. He grasped it tightly, and we took seven small steps to my door.

"We're here," he said, happily.

"Yeah, we're here," I sighed, wishing I lived farther away.

"Don't look so sad, Blaine," Kurt said, as he grabbed my other hand and brought us closer together. "I won't be gone forever." He smiled.

"Yeah, you're right," I said. "I can't believe I have a boyfriend. I can't believe you're my boyfriend."

"You're right it's kind of like a dream isn't it?" Kurt asked. "Oh, my gosh! We should celebrate!"

"We could go out to dinner tonight!" I said or yelled. I couldn't help it. I was so happy.

"Yeah, we could all go out and celebrate you guys!" Wes shouted as he opened Kurt's door. "I'm so glad it finally happened!"

"I was hoping that—" I said, but a door opened across the hall.

"What are you yelling about Wes?" Jeff asked. Then he looked forward at Kurt and I. "They're holding hands! Nick, Nick, come look!"

Nick came to the door slowly. "Wow. It finally happened. Congratulations."

My door swung upon and revealed a very angry Thad, who must have been sleeping. He opened his mouth to yell, I assume, but he looked down and saw holding hands Kurt and I were hands. "Sweet Jesus! It finally happened. Thank the Lord! Now I don't have to listen to Blaine talk about you constantly."

I blushed. "Well, I think it might get worse, now that they're together," Nick said.

David came out of his room, too. "What's everyone talking about?"

"Kurt and Blaine are dating, now!" Jeff said and pointed at us. "So, we are all going out to celebrate!"

"Well, I really was just thinking that—" I started but Jeff cut me off.

"I can't believe you two are finally together!" Jeff said. "Yes, a dinner is necessary. I'll drive. We'll go somewhere semi-fancy."

"Yaye, I'm so excited!" Wes yelled.

"I'm game," Nick said.

"I'm just glad Blaine can stop drooling over Kurt now that he has him," David said. "If a dinner what makes it official, then, please, sign me up."

"We will have our own private dinner soon, okay?" Kurt whispered into my ear. His voice was so gentle and tickled my ear.

"Yeah, okay," I said quietly.

"Aw, look," Jeff said, "they're already sharing secrets."

"Shut up, Jeff," I said. "What time is this dinner?"

"Let's go at 4:00p.m. to beat traffic and working old people," Wes said.

"Everyone cool with 4:00p.m.?" Jeff asked.

Everyone accept Kurt and I yelled, "Yeah!" simultaneously.

"I really don't think—" Kurt started.

"Okay, cool, it's decided," Jeff said, interrupting Kurt. "See you two love birds then."

Everyone went back to their rooms leaving Kurt and I alone again. "So, I guess I'll see you later?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah, see you later, Blaine," Kurt said as he let go of my hands, slowly. I watched him walk to his room and go inside. I went in my own room, and threw myself on the bed and sighed.

"You're a lucky one, Anderson," Thad said.

"What do you mean?" I asked, sitting up.

"You have, Kurt. You know, that cute boy that lives next door?" he said.

"Yeah, thanks," I said. "Hold on… you think Kurt is cute?"

"Hell yeah!" Thad said, as he flipped through his magazine. "He's adorable, way cuter than you."

"You're not…interested in him, are you?" I asked him, worried.

"No, of course not!" he said, still not looking up from his magazine. "Who would be interested in a boy with perfect porcelain skin, kindness out of this world, speaks fluid French, and sings like an angel?" His voice was laced with sarcasm.

"What are you getting at Thad?" I asked.

"What I'm saying Blaine is that although _I_ may not be interested in Kurt, I'm sure that every gay guy at this school is or will be," Thad warned. "Keep him close. Don't lose him because you might not be able to get him back."

"Um…thanks for the depressing advice," I said. "If that was your way of saying 'Congrats' it was missing something."

"I'm just looking out for you, Blaine," he said. "I'm the last person that wants to see you and Kurt break up. I live with you and would have to see and hear you be all depressed. A happy Blaine is what this room needs," He smiled at me. I just laughed. "But, in all seriousness, you are truly lucky to be madly in love someone that actually likes you. It's not easy to come by so, don't take it for granted, okay Blaine?"

"I won't," I said, quietly.

"Good," he said, "now, let's pick out something for you to wear that doesn't involve a bow tie."

"I like my bow ties," I said, defensively, "they're classy and match everything and—"

"And they make me want to gouge my eyes out," Thad said happily. I just sighed, defeated.

We spent hours trying to figure out what I was going to wear. At the end of the day I just wore a pair of nice dark polo pants with a pair Lacoste shoes and a nice button up covered with a white Ralph Lauren sweater. I really hoped Kurt would be okay with the way it all looked. By the time we were done getting dressed it was time to meet everyone in the lobby. I decided to stop by Kurt's room so I could go down with him. I knocked on his door and he opened it immediately.

"Hi," he said, breathlessly. I loved how flustered he was.

"You ready?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "I was worried about what to wear, and it took me up until now to get dressed…Do I look okay?"

I smiled at him. He was wearing a thin, pale shirt, a short, white jacket, and that pair of grey wool cargo pants from McQueen's collection that we saw at the mall. They really suited him. "You look gorgeous," I told him. He blushed. He grabbed my arm, and we walked to the elevator together.

"Oh, wait, I forgot my wallet," he said, as the elevator door opened. "I'll be right back."

I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the elevator. "Don't worry about it. I got it," I said.

"No, Blaine, I can't let you pay," he said, worried. "Plus, I have no idea where we are going, and who knows how expensive it'll be."

"It's fine," I said. "I want to do it. I was going to pay anyway because this was supposed to be our first dinner as a couple, alone, but our friends wanted to come along." I laughed as the elevator door opened.

"But, Blaine—" Kurt started.

"Oh, look, we're in the lobby," I said, cheerfully, as I pulled him out of the elevator. "You can't argue with me in public in front of all our friends," I finished.

He sighed, playfully. "Fine, but next time, I'm paying."

"I'll think about it," I said, smiling at him. I had no intention of making Kurt pay for anything unless he just really, really wanted to.

"They're here!" Jeff said as he started to head outside to his truck. "We didn't pick anywhere fancy, but you're going to like it. Nick and I looked for—"

"So, Nick and you are on speaking terms again?" Kurt asked. 

"Yeah, I guess we are," Nick said, surprised.

"Yeah," Jeff said, as he ruffled Nick's hair. "I didn't even think about it. Anyway, We're going to Frenz! We were going to go with Olive Garden, but Nick figured you guys would want to have your first date there."

"Yeah," Nick said. "I know Kurt loves salads and soup, and Blaine seems to love sandwiches and pizzas."

"So, it's perfect!" Jeff said as he started the car.

The ride there was really short. I hadn't ever been to Frenz before, so this should be interesting. During the car ride, Kurt sat by the window and I sat beside him. Beside us was Wes who I noticed was kind of glaring at Kurt and I.

"Wes…is something wrong?" I asked. David looked quickly at Wes, who turned the opposite direction.

"It's just that I'm so jealous of you guys!" Wes pouted.

"Don't worry, Wes," Jeff said. "One day you will have a boyfriend just as cute as Kurt, and we'll all celebrate just like we did with them."

Everyone shared a laugh except Kurt. He just smiled weakly. I guess he was just embarrassed that they were picking on us, but I looked over at Wes and he didn't seem to take a liking to the joke either.

We went into the place, and we were seated near the very back of the restaurant near the rest rooms. I assumed it was because we were such a large group and the biggest booth they had to offer was in the back corner. It was really huge. One side fit Thad, Nick, David, and Jeff, and the other side fit Wes, me, and Kurt.

"Hi, I'm Chad," said the waiter as he came up. "I'll be your server for today," he said as he passed out menus. I guess he miss counted us when we came in because he forgot a menu for Kurt so we shared, blushing every time our fingers brushed. "What would you like to drink?" He asked looking at Jeff.

"Um, sprite," he said.

"Okay and you?" he said, pointing his pen at David.

It continued this way until he got to Wes. After got Wes's drink order, he said he'd be right back. When he returned with everyone's drink, he gave Kurt and I water. I didn't mind, but I thought it was weird. Maybe, he just forgot to come back for us because he got busy. It did take him a while to return. "I'll be right back to take your orders," he said.

"That was a little weird," David said.

"Yeah, he's being a jerk," Jeff said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Our waiter has been ignoring you and Kurt all night," Nick said. "Plus, he's been taking for ever to return to our table when is only in charge of two tables from the looks of it."

"Oh, I didn't know," I said. "He's probably not doing it on purpose or anything."

"Maybe, maybe not," Thad said.

The waiter came back with a large salad. "This is our specialty salad that comes with any group of 5 or more." He handed out plates, skipping both Kurt and I and started to walk away.

"Excuse me," Thad said. "You forgot two plates for my friends other here."

"Oh, my apologies," the waiter snorted.

"What's your problem?" Thad asked loudly standing up.

"I don't have a problem with you," Chad said. "It's your 'friends.' I hope they get help with their disease."

"Disease?" Wes asked.

"They're gay aren't they?" Chad asked. "That is disgusting. Such filth shouldn't be allowed to walk around let alone dine in public."

"That's just your opinion, your fucked up opinion, and you shouldn't be allowed to treat us like crap because you don't agree with us!" Thad yelled.

I was in shock at what I was hearing. I didn't think people still did stupid stuff like this to gay people anymore. It's ridiculous. Chad looked well into his 30's. I couldn't believe that a working man would resort to such things. Kurt grasped my hand tightly as Thad, Jeff and David all started arguing with the waiter. It just sounded like noise to me.

"I'm going to go get the manager because this is stupid," Nick said, as he got up and headed to the front.

"Stop!" Wes yelled. "Can we just leave, please?" He looked more upset than Kurt did.

"Yeah, let's just go," Kurt said. "This place doesn't deserve our money," Kurt finished as Nick returned with the manager.

The manager gave us all coupons for free meals for two. "I'm so sorry for Chad's behavior. It will not happen again. He knows he is not to attack customers with his beliefs like this," the manager concluded.

"So, you're not going to fire him?" Nick asked.

"No, of course not," the manager said. "This restaurant was built on family values. Chad is an excellent waiter who also grew up with the same family values and traditions as I did. He just shouldn't have gotten a little upset seeing your friends obstructing those family morals."

"Are you being serious right now?" Jeff asked. "Is he serious?"

"I think he is," Nick said slowly.

"Well, Mr. Manager," Thad said, angrily, "you can take your coupon and shove it up your—"

"Thad!" David shouted.

"Oh well, we're not shoving up anything up there," Chad said. "Isn't that what you gays like to do for fun?" Chad smiled, and the manager suppressed a giggle.

"You bastards!" Thad yelled. Jeff and David held him back, and dragged him out of the restaurant. Wes, Kurt and I followed them out.

We piled into the car. "I'm so pissed off!"Jeff yelled.

"Are you two okay?" David asked.

"I'm fine," I said. "Kurt, are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "It could have been worse," he sighed.

We all looked at him in silence. I squeezed his hand. The door came open suddenly. "Sorry, I took a second," Nick said. "I had to get their information so that one of you could sue the crap out of that business."

"Thanks, Nick," Thad said, as he reached passed Kurt, Wes, and I, and grabbed the sheet of paper from Nick.

"Now, what are we going to eat?" Thad joked as we headed back to the dorms.

"Wes made a feast this morning," Kurt said. "I'm sure we can just reheat it all for dinner, right Wes?"

"…Yeah, sure," he said, sadly.

"Are you okay, Wes?" Kurt asked.

"Just tired," Wes said.

"You sure?" David asked.

"Yeah," Wes answered.

When we got back to the dorms and headed straight for the kitchen. Wes put everything in the oven to be reheated.

"Kurt, can you take everything out once it's warm?" Wes asked Kurt.

"Yeah, I can," he said. "Aren't you staying though?"

"No, I'm going to take a nap," Wes said, yawning. "I'm tired."

He left the kitchen quickly, and Kurt followed. "I'm just going to check on him," he explained.

After a few moments of pacing in the kitchen, I decided to check up on Kurt.

"Hey, how's Wes?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said. "He's been kind of sad lately."

"Oh," I said, "so has David. I hope they talk soon."

"Me too," he said as he put his arms around my neck pulling me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"What's this hug for?" I asked.

"For being my boyfriend," he said with a smile, as he let go of me. "I'm not really in the mood for food tonight. I think I'm going to turn in and make sure Wes is okay."

"Okay, Kurt," I said, sadly.

"Goodnight, Blaine," he said with a smile.

I grabbed his hand and leaned up to his cheek and kissed it softly. "Goodnight, Kurt," I said, smiling at the blush that spread across his face. I walked back to the kitchen to eat dinner with the guys, leaving Kurt dazed in the hallway. I was definitely looking forward to our future together.

**A/N:** Please review and let me know what you thought about this chapter! Thank you for reading. I even got this chapter done and posted with a broken laptop and no internet at my house :) I should get major points for that.

**Reviews: Frances:** I love your reviews. I'm glad it was a happy cliffhanger haha. And yeah it is a juggling act that I have trouble with all the time. It's probably the main reason it takes so long to write these chapters. Thank you! I was afraid that chapter 10 didn't flow and was too short. I had a lot of worries for that one, but I'm glad you liked it :)

**Dee: **Thank you for the review! Nick will get some help and talk to someone eventually, but probably not in the next chapter in his POV. I'm glad you like the Wes and David chapters! They are the hardest for me to write because of their confusion about their sexualities and feelings for each other. In fact the next chapter will be in Wes and David's POV.

**Meghan:** Yup Klaine is here, so Kurt and Blaine are happy, but everyone else is pretty depressed. I'm working on fixing them, but it'll probably take 4 or 5 chapters until they're semi okay again because of all the drama I've thrown in.


	12. Questions Only God Can Answer

**A/N: PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING : **Hey guys! Sorry it's late! My laptop battery messed up, and I had to get a new one. Then, I was in a car wreck, and blah blah blah. I just had a shitty weekend, but I'm okay. This chapter has a few questions of sexuality and religion. This doesn't reflect how I feel about God or anything. This is just how I wanted Wes and David to feel about God and the Bible, so please don't send me mean, hateful messages about how you disagree with me and I'm stupid or something. They are two fictional teenagers in high school who are just really confused about whether or not it's okay to be gay according to their Christian religion and if they should be gay. If I offend anyone, I am sorry. With that said, I hope you enjoy the chapter. Please review and let me know what you thought about it all.

**Warning:** This story contains sexual assault, abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and strong language.

**Chapter 12: Questions Only God Can Answer **

**David's POV**

I woke up with a light in my face and paper stuck to my cheek. I had fallen asleep at my desk again. I looked at my clock. I had only been asleep for 3 hours, but that was more than I got the night before. I couldn't sleep well since I started questioning my feelings for Wes. I couldn't figure it out at all. My whole life I thought I was straight but suddenly, I'm confused about it. I didn't know what to do, so I did what I always did. I prayed, and read my bible. What I did read made me question my feelings and my faith.

I pushed my flexible desk lamp up towards the ceiling, lighting up the room. I carefully peeled my homework off of my cheek, and stared at my desk. There were was school work everywhere in neat little stacks. At the top left corner of my desk was my King James Bible. I had been flipping through it all night. It was open to Leviticus chapter 18. I grabbed the bible and read where I left off of all the things God was saying to Moses. I had highlight verse 22 which read "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." I sighed. I grabbed my highlighter again and marked verses 29 and 30 which read "For whosoever shall commit any of these abominations, even the souls that commit them shall be cut off from among their people. Therefore shall ye keep mine ordinance, that ye commit not any one of these abominable customs, which were committed before you, and that ye defile not yourselves therein: I am the LORD your God." I sighed and threw down the highlighter.

I searched through the new testament, randomly picking chapters to read most of the night to find some sort of redemption or cancelation for this particular 'abomination,' but I found nothing, just more punishment. I almost gave up hope completely until I saw "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved" in Romans chapter 10. It gave me some sort of hope towards this situation. Most people say that being gay is a sin, and I haven't found where it isn't yet, but I could be reading it all wrong or just not enough. I have been looking into the question of being gay for some time, but never like this. The Lord puts all of His followers through some sort of test to prove their faith. Was this one of my tests? What was I supposed to do to pass? I wasn't sure if I should ignore my "sinful" feelings for Wes, or acknowledge them. If I did acknowledge my feelings for him, my love for my best friend, then did that mean I would have to give up my faith? I wanted so much to have both, but so far it looked like I would have to choose. I didn't understand how any type of love could be "sinful," so I looked it up. I've been reading and reading trying to find out if this love is against God, and why. If it was against God to be gay because it went against the way we were suppose to procreate, then, I would just have to pray to God and to promise Him that I would adopt children.

My mind came up with so many different ways it could be sinful, so many ways it wasn't, and so many ways that I could repent for it. I had the Bible in front of me and all of the answers were in it, but finding them and interpreting them would be so difficult and time consuming. I felt myself getting tired again so, I stopped, placed a sticky tab at the top of my current page, and closed the book. I yawned, and stretched. I needed food or coffee to wake me up, so I got up and left the room.

I walked into the kitchen and the smell of coffee filled my lungs. It was refreshing in a way and instantly woke me up. Coffee literally just woke me up…oh wow. I'm getting worse than Blaine! I closed the door and turned towards the cabinets to get a mug, and there Blaine was.

"Morning, David!" he said, bouncing around happily.

"Morning," I said with a yawn. "Why are you so excited today?"

"I'm going to try and surprise Kurt with breakfast!" he said. "I was thinking maybe just coffee and a bagel, or coffee and an orange, or coffee and a muffin, or coffee and eggs with a piece of toast, or coffee with jelly on toast, or coffee and—"

"Basically, you have no idea what to make for him," I said with a smile.

"No, no idea, at all," he said. "I even asked Nick because I figured he knew because he gave Kurt breakfast those days he was sick, but he said to just go with coffee."

"What's wrong with just giving him coffee?" I asked.

"Just coffee?" he said, appalled. "That's not romantic at all. Breakfast in bed should be huge and have lots of food. At first I was thinking pancakes, eggs, bacon, and toast with coffee and orange juice."

"Are you trying to make the poor guy explode, Blaine?" I asked, joking. "He's so small there's no way he could all eat of that."

"Yeah, I know," he said. "I know he's just a little bit taller than me, but he's so much smaller than I am. He's just so thin, so I was thinking instead of just coffee, I could throw in some sort of grain."

"Are you trying to fatten him up?" I asked.

"No," Blaine said, "he just needs to eat more. I don't think a coffee for breakfast, salad or fruit for lunch, and soup for dinner are healthy. He needs more food in him." He laughed. "I know I'm over thinking this, but I want it to be perfect for him."

"I get it," I said as I poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. "You are just trying to impress Kurt which is strange because you have him now. You guys are together now."

"I just want it to stay that way," he said, quietly.

"It's not going to change," I said. "Kurt seems to like you a lot so, don't worry about it for now. Just be yourself, Blaine. And if Kurt doesn't like you for you then he doesn't deserve you, okay?" I finished with a yawn.

"Okay, yeah, you're right," he said. "Thanks, but, um, are you okay, David? You look so tired."

"I'm fine, Blaine," I told him. "I just need a little sleep."

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, staring down at my coffee. I really did need some sleep. I was so tired, but this coffee was really helping. I wish it could help all these thoughts of Wes just go away, but that wasn't possible. Somewhere in James chapter 1 it says "But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin." So, was this just all just lust and temptation or was I gay? I didn't even know how to tell if I was gay or not. How do people even decide that? How do they decide if they're straight or gay? Is it just sex drive wise, or feelings? I wasn't sure at all.

I looked over to Blaine who was back at the cabinets in deep thought about Kurt, most likely. "How did you first know you were…gay, Blaine?" I asked him.

"Um, wow, that was pretty unexpected," he said with a laugh. He took a seat at the table across from me. "What brought this on all of a sudden?"

"I was just curious," I said. I was curious to know. It was strange to me that we had known each other for so long, and I never asked. When I met Blaine, he was gay, and that was that. I never asked about when he first realized it. "Plus, it's never come up before."

"You're right. It hasn't," he said, looking at the window, crossing his legs. "Well, it was back at that age where you could just go outside and play tag, but you thought you were too old to play. But then again you are really never too old to play tag unless you're an adult or something. Well technically you're an adult because you just turned 18, but I could see you playing tag with Wes. I don't—"

"Blaine!" I yelled. "You're rambling." I laughed when he made a face at me. He looked so seriously hurt. "Don't use those puppy dog eyes on me, Anderson. You always told me to let you know when you ramble."

"Yeah, I know," he said with a sigh.

"I hope Kurt thinks your rants are cute," I joked.

"Oh wow!" he yelled and stood up. "What if he hates them? What am I going to do? This is awful. He'd tell me, right?" he continued to mumble and pace until I interrupted him.

"Blaine," I said with a smile. "You didn't finish your story."

"Right," he said. "It was when I was around 12 or 13." Why didn't he just say that earlier? That's Blaine, though. "I had a best friend named Chris. We hung out all the time and went over each other's houses, too. This one time we were at my house playing around in my backyard playing hide and go seek. I was usually a horrible finder but that time, that one time, I was really quiet and snuck up behind him. He was sitting with his knees to his chest behind a tree. He was looking around the tree in the opposite direction that I was coming. So, I kneeled down beside him and yelled 'Found you!' He jumped, but then smiled and said that it was his turn to find me. He was about to get up, but I put my hands on his knees and leaned in and just kissed him," he said, smiling at the memory.

"How did he take the news?" I asked.

"Oh, he pushed me in the mud, called me disgusting, wiped his mouth, spit on the ground a few times to get the taste out, I guess, and then ran from my house," Blaine said quickly. "My mom asked me why he ran, so I told her about it. She told me about sexuality, in her own way. She told me that kissing someone meant that I really, really liked them, and wanted to be with them, like holding hands and stuff. She talked about how I might feel nervous around them, or get jealous when other people get to close to them, and she described all these things I would feel toward a person that I liked. I told her that I felt all of those things around Chris, and I realized that I never felt any of that towards a girl, ever. I told my mom that I only liked boys."

"…was she upset?" I asked.

"Yeah, a little bit," he said. "She cried a little. I asked her if it was wrong to like boys, and she said that some people think it is and some people think it isn't. I asked her what she thought. She said that her family taught her that it was wrong, but she loved me anyway because I was her son and I wasn't hurting anybody by liking other boys. She said that if that was who I was then it was fine because you can't help who are. At the time, that was all I needed."

His phone buzzed. He took it out, and groaned slightly after.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's Kurt," he said, sadly as he put his phone away. "He can't 'hang out' today because he has some group project meeting that he forgot about. He has to go to the library soon, and he'll be there all day! This is awful!"

"You could look at it that way," I said. "But it's actually in your favor, don't you think? You didn't know what to make for him for breakfast anyway, so, now, you have all day to do your work, and plan another surprise for him. You guys haven't really even had your first date yet. You could plan that along with other surprises since he won't be around today."

"Oh wow," Blaine said. "You right! I could do my homework, and then plan our date! I have to find out all these things, like what his favorite flowers are and where to go and everything! Thanks, David."

"No, problem," I said, as Blaine ran from the kitchen. That kid was definitely crazy about Kurt. I just hope that Kurt was crazy about Blaine as well.

I sighed, and laid my head on the table. So, I guess being gay wasn't about the sex drive or anything. Blaine was younger when he found out. It wasn't about lusting after some boy; it was just love. I didn't even lust after Wes though. This wasn't really a temptation either. I remember when Wes and I were younger and first getting girls we would always walk the girls home, holding their hands. At that age that's really all you get. Holding hands was a huge thing to a kid, and a kiss on the cheek was monumental. Even at that age, I always preferred holding Wes's hand over holding that girl's hand. It felt right at the time. I think that I just… I think that I loved him, a lot, and I have for years. I just never realized that that's what it was this whole time, not temptation, not lust, but love. I needed to tell him, but what would he do? How would he react? That didn't matter now because he was moving out of my room, our room. He was just leaving. I guess he was tired of me, so of course, he wouldn't love me back. He might though. I didn't know. If he did, then, what would we even do about it? For now, I just needed to distance myself from Wes until I figured this whole thing out. At least I was sure now that I did love him. Was this sinning? Was me wanting to be with him wrong according to the Bible? Yes, it was. Wanting to be with any man the way I was supposed to be with a woman was supposedly wrong according to my religion. I groaned. Great. I was almost positive that I was gay, and I didn't know what to do about it.

"Hey, David." I looked up and Nick had walked into the kitchen.

"Hey," I said.

"So the sink doesn't work," he said.

"Yeah, they said it's frozen over or something because it's so cold outside," I told him.

"I know. I read the email," he said. "How did you make coffee?"

Oh, right. "Blaine made it," I told him. "I think he used water bottles under the cabinet that Wes got a while ago."

"Oh, thanks," he said. He looked in all of the lower cabinets and then the top ones. He even looked in the pantry.

"I guess we are out of water bottles," I said.

"Yup," he said, with a smile. "All we have to drink is coffee, Coke, and some old Brandy Jeff managed to hide in here."

I laughed. "That's awful. What are you going to do? Just not drink anything?"

"Oh, no," Nick said. "I need something before my run so I'm going to drink some Coke."

"That is pretty bad for you before a run, though," I said.

"All of what I listed is bad for me before a run," he said, with a smile. "What am I supposed to do? Die of thirst? No, I picked my poison, so to speak."

"Ah, okay, but won't drinking that hurt your body while you run?" I asked.

He laughed. "I'm sure my body will be happy that I'm giving it something rather than nothing at all. Hopefully, my body will see it that way, and it won't give me a muscle cramp or any side pains."

"Hopefully," I said, with a smile as he left the kitchen.

I sat and wondered. I wondered if God would make a small exception for me like Nick hoped his body would for him. Yeah, Nick drank coke which was bad for him, and I'm in love with Wes which might be bad for me. Would God be content that I was giving love to another person rather than not giving love at all? He wants us to be loved and give love, freely, but giving it to Wes might not be okay. But that didn't make sense because the Bible says to "Love your enemies" in Matthew, Luke, and in other books. It didn't make sense to me to love an enemy who mistreats me but not to love another man like I would a woman. It didn't make sense for me to marry a woman when I knew deep down that I would prefer a man, either.

The thing about all of this though was that the Bible says that being with Wes the way I was supposed to be with a woman was wrong, and just having thoughts about Wes that way was also wrong. So, ultimately, even if I did ignore my feelings and thoughts about Wes and viewed them as a test of faith, I was still sinning because the thoughts would still be there. The feelings would still exist and ignoring them would not make them go away. Either way, it could be considered a sin. Should I indulge my feelings for Wes and just be a supposed "sinner," should I ignore them and pray to God everyday for forgiveness, or should I spend my entire life searching the Bible for an answer about my homosexual feelings being right or wrong? Did the "sinning" of it all even matter? Romans chapter 3, verse 23 says "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." So, would this be my sin against God? Would this be the way that I "come short of His glory"? Should I just do as Nick just did and just "pick my poison" as in pick my sin and just be gay and let that be my sin? At that exact moment, I was completely lost at what to do. I wished there was a way that I could just talk to God and ask him what to do, but He is silent and hasn't spoken for many years. The best I could do was pray and read, but I needed to stop thinking because I was getting a headache.

I looked out of the window and tried to clear my mind for a while.

**Wes's POV**

"Okay, Wes, today is the day," Kurt said to me.

"Yep," I said, slowly. "Today is the day…"

"You don't sound very confident about this whole thing," he said.

"That's because I'm not!" I shouted. "I am so nervous! My heart is beating out of my chest! I'm freaking out, and I haven't even told him yet. To make it all worse, you were right about telling him after I moved my stuff into my new room. He doesn't really even know why I'm moving out! He will probably bring up it while we are caring a bookcase or something! I can't tell him before though because that would make it even more awkward because he'll probably be in the room glaring at me, or trying to avoid eye contact with me! What if he doesn't want to help? What if he freaks out on me? What if—"

"WES!" Kurt yelled. "You are freaking out right now. Just breathe. It's all going to be okay. It won't be as horrible as you think."

"As horrible?" I asked. "As in it's going to be slightly horrible or there will be a hint or horribleness?" I got up out of the chair and started pacing.

"No," he said. "No, just calm down. It will all be okay."

"You were supposed to be there, too!" I shouted. "You were supposed to be some sort of buffer while we moved so he wouldn't bring it up. That way you could leave when we were done, and I could ask him to stay so we could talk!"

"I know, and I'm sorry!" Kurt said. "I completely forgot about this group project. I am so sorry, Wes. I really am."

"I know," I said. "I'm just really, really nervous."

"It's going to be fine," he said. "We have already moved all of the stuff you had moved in here. We moved your bathroom stuff, your bedding, most of your stuff for school, and a random lamp. What do you even have left?"

"All the stuff on my desk, my bookshelf, my vacuum cleaner, and my other lamp," I said quickly.

"See , that's not a lot of stuff at all," Kurt said. "You two will be done in no time!"

"Thanks, Kurt, for helping me out," I said as I hugged him.

"No problem, Wes," he said. I let go of him, quickly, when I felt him tense up a little. He always tensed up a bit when I hugged him which was strange to me. I've adjusted my hugs for him though. They aren't as tight, they are less of a surprise, and they are quick. I call them 'Kurt hugs.' "I have to go, now, Wes," he continued.

"Okay," I said, sadly.

"Good luck and cheer up," Kurt said as he left the room.

I took a deep breath and headed to my old room. I knocked a few times and finally just opened the door. "Hello…" I said as I entered. I looked around and didn't see David anywhere. I felt rude being in there without him there even though, technically, it was still our room and I had a key. I closed the door and tried to think of where he would be. I heard some noise from the kitchen, so I headed there. When I got there, David and Jeff were laughing about something.

"Hey, guys," I said.

"Hey," David said. He stopped smiling and looked away from me. He was probably a little mad at me for just leaving like that.

"Hey, Wes," Jeff said. "I've got a bone to pick with you!"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"This will be the second time you have skipped out on my cooking lessons," he said. "What's the deal?"

"Yeah, I know," I said. "I'm sorry though, Jeff, but I have a really good excuse today!"

"Sure, you do, Wes," Jeff said, sarcastically.

"I'm moving into my new room!" I said, happily. I wasn't really happy about it, but I was trying to be.

"You have a new room?" Jeff asked.

"Yep!" I said.

"Oh, you and David, here, aren't getting along?" he asked, joking.

"Actually, it's rather complicated, and I can't tell you about it," I said, joking. I hoped that he would just leave it alone after that because I didn't want to explain everything to him.

"Aw that's not fair!" he said. "I wanna know!"

"Nope, it's a secret," I said, laughing.

"A very well kept secret," David said, dryly. "I don't even know why he's moving out."

There was an awkward silence. "Oh," Jeff said. "Well, that sucks, David."

"Yep, sure does," David said. I guess he didn't think it was a funny thing to joke about, and he was right. It wasn't.

"Well, anyway, I just came in here to let you know that I'll be going in and out of your room, David, to get the rest of my things." I said, quickly.

"I'll help you move," David said as he got up to stretch a bit. "I'm not doing anything here."

"Okay," I said, nervously.

"Good luck cooking, Jeff," David said.

"I'll be fine," he said casually. "I know the tap's frozen, but you don't need water to cook pancakes right?"

David and I just laughed and left the kitchen together. I guess this fit perfectly with Kurt's plan for me to tell him today.

I opened up our door, well, his door now, and looked around. I started grabbing stacks of books off of the desk, and David did the same.

"Kurt was going to help, but he had to go the library to do this group project thing," I told him.

"Yeah, I know," he said. "Blaine told me this morning. He was so upset because he was going to surprise Kurt with breakfast."

"Aw, that's really sweet!" I said.

"Yeah, it was," he said.

I stood up and headed out of the door with my stack of books. David followed with his.

"Where are you moving to?" he asked.

I walked over to the right a bit, and pushed open the door with my foot. "Right next door," I said.

He smiled. "Oh."

We finished moving the rest of my things fairly quickly, like Kurt said it would be. Once we finished moving everything in the room, David started to put things on the book shelf.

"David, stop," I said. "You don't have to do that."

"Okay," he sighed. "I guess, I'll just go."

"No!" I shouted. He stopped and looked at me. "I mean, um, I want to talk to you about why I'm moving out."

"Alright," he said as he sat in the desk chair, and I sat on the bed. "Was it something I did or said? Did I hurt your feelings in some way? I don't get it, Wes. You just left me with no explanation at all! …you're my best friend, Wes."

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry, David," I said, sadly. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's just kind of complicated," I said. I looked down at my hands. "David, I've been doing a lot of thinking this entire year about myself, and…I'm gay." We were silent for a moment so, I just continued. "I thought that maybe I should ignore this or it wasn't true, but it is. I'm gay, and I think I love you, David. No, I know that I love you. I love how positive you are about everything. You take bad situations and turn them into something good. I love our hugs and how you kind of take care of me. You make sure I don't say too much or tackle people. You enjoy my rants about the Warblers. I love how you're a guy, and you've actually gone out of your way to see _The Lion King_ on Broadway, and you have seen classic movies like _The Sound of Music_. You're not even afraid to admit that you've seen all of that. You don't care what everyone else thinks. You just care about being yourself. I love how you give the best advice and you worry about your friends like they are your family. I love the way you laugh a little when you're nervous. I love how you never get truly angry at me for waking you up to watch the sunrise, or for sneaking in your bed late at night. I love how even though we wear ties every day, you're horrible at tying them." I laughed a little and looked up at him. "David, I love you. I've been in love with you for years now. I've been confused about my feelings, but I've come to accept them, and I love you," I finished, blushing. "I wasn't sure how you would take it, and I know that you're straight so I moved out. No straight guy wants to live with a gay guy who's crushing on them, right?" I joked. "Plus, I couldn't bear to live with you after you rejected me."

We sat there for a moment. I guess he had to take all of it in. We were silent until David decided to say something. "I…think that I'm falling in love with you, too, Wes. I've missed you since you moved out. I miss having you near me. I've missed sleeping with you, waking up to the sunrise with you, you tying my ties, and the smell of your strawberry shampoo filling our bathroom every morning," he said, as his eyes filled with tears. I didn't understand why he was upset. Shouldn't he be as happy as I am? "But this is…what are you going to do about this?" he asked confused.

"…what do you mean?" I asked.

"About being gay," he said.

"I'm going to just accept it as who I am," I said. "Just like the way you do with Thad, Blaine, and Kurt. You treat them all like good people because they are good people."

"Treating my friends equally no matter what their sexuality is different from actually going against my beliefs. Blaine, Thad, and Kurt are all atheist, so they don't believe in God. I believe in heaven and hell, and so do you. I don't want to go to hell by being a homosexual, and I don't want that for you either, Wes. I know that God is love, and he wants us to be loved and love everyone the same so I do that. He wants us to not judge people so I don't. I respect their views, and they respect mine. They don't judge me for my religious choices, and I don't judge them for their lack of religion. That's just how it is…I'm actually pretty sure that I am gay, but if I am shouldn't I fight these feelings with all I have? Shouldn't I view it as some sort of temptation or test? How have you accepted it so easily?" David asked.

"My mommy always used to tell me that Romans chapter 3, verse 23 says "for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God," so it was okay to make a few mistakes. I'm not sure if being gay is an outright sin, but if it is, then, it's rather cruel of God to allow me feel this way toward you. People throw random quotes about lying with another man being a sin, but they might be misinterpreting it completely, David. It could be talking about all the male prostitution that was happening at the time that that was written or slavery because some people were sleeping with their slaves. Some Bibles even use the word "homosexual" in it, but the word itself wasn't even coined until around 1869! The Bible was written by 11 men that lived in a totally different time than us, and they had totally different rules and social standards that we think are ridiculous today. Since so many different men wrote it, don't you think that, maybe, they added their own opinion to it? Yes, it is God's word, but it is God's word according man. People have been re-writing the Bible for years placing in new words and phrases all the time. I bet the original sounds nothing like the ones we have now. We could be living our lives according to a typo or a translation gone wrong!" I informed him.

"It states multiple times that men sleeping with other men is an abomination, Wes! It says it in more than one of those eleven men's books in that Bible," said David.

"Yeah, I know," I said sadly.

"So, are you not going to be a Christian anymore?" David asked as he looked at me with worry. "Or are you going to accept it as a sin and be Christian, or…" he sighed. "What are you going to do about your religion… our religion?"

"No, I'm still Christian. I still believe in God. I am still going to follow His ten commandments, and try my best to be a good person," I said trying to smile. "At the end of the day only God can judge us on judgment day. So, when we die and the world is at its end, God will let us know what was wrong with our lives. I'm still going to read my Bible and interpret the words I read the best way I know how. I'm still going to pray every day, but I'm also probably going to masturbate every once in a while even though "spilling my seed" is considered wrong by some Christians. I'm also going to eat a little too much cake sometimes even though it's considered gluttony to some Christians and also a sin. There are so many sins committed every day by people. Jesus said in the book of Matthew chapter 5 that getting a divorce is a sin unless someone cheats on you. The person who initiates the divorce is placing that other person in the situation of committing adultery, but people do it all the time. People re-marry, too, inside of Christian churches. Your mother is one of those people," I told him.

"She had to!" David shouted. "She had to get away from my dad. He didn't love her anymore, and she deserved someone who did." I felt a little bad for bring it up, afterwards, because I didn't know talking about that still bothered him. I wanted him to understand what I was saying though.

"Exactly. So don't you think even though Jesus, a long time ago, said that she is now sinning, that he can forgive her? I'm sure that Jesus will understand that situation, David."

"…Yeah, Wes, but this is different, isn't it?" he asked. "I know that thinking and having all these feelings for you is probably sinning, but I thought that if I didn't act on them it wouldn't be sinning. But I was wrong, and it's all the same. If we do get together, then, aren't we choosing to live in sin?" he asked. "Will Jesus really forgive us for this?"

"I think He will," I said confidently. "I really do because I can't help my feelings for you. I've been trying for years, and I figure that I'm supposed to have them for some reason. If it is wrong, then, we'll be just like Christians who get divorces, Christians who have sex before marriage, and Christians who get abortions. I'm sure that they all had good reasons, and I'm sure God will understand those reasons because in spite of it all He is love. I don't think loving another human being is wrong. God loves us and will forgive us for some of the wrong we have done because of that. There are examples of Him forgiving sinners all over the Bible, why not us? We are His children, we love Him, and we've never denied Him, so why not?" I asked.

He smiled. "You've really been thinking hard about this, huh?"

"Yes! I've barely been sleeping because of this," I said. I handed him my Bible. "Look, here's my Bible. I've put little sticky note tabs on all the pages that talk about different types of homosexuality in the Old Testament and forgiveness of sins in the New Testament. I'm letting you borrow it so _you_ can interpret them the way _you_ want to. …I know you're just as confused as I was about my feelings for you.." He looked away and blushed. "I just hope that in time, you will be able to accept yourself and still stick with your religion. I know that if you come to a different conclusion than me, then, you will probably just continue to deny your feelings. I just hope that with whatever you chose you are okay with your choice and yourself. Please, read through the verses. I know you probably already have, but do it again and again until you're sure…let me know what you decide," I said gravely.

"I will," he said as he got up. "I'll see you later, Wes."

"Bye, David," I said, quietly as he left the room. I said it as if we would never see each other again because I knew he would never see me the same as he did before. It would never be the same for us ever again.

He came right back in the room quickly. "Here," he said as he extended something to me. I took it, and opened it. It was his Bible. "I thought that since I have yours, you might need a replacement until I'm done with yours," he said, with a smile.

"Thanks," I said, clutching the Bible to my chest, well his Bible.

"See you later," he said, "for real this time."

I laughed. "Good bye!" I yelled and waved as he closed the door. I sighed. There was a piece of paper sticking out of his Bible. I opened it up. It was just random thoughts about a verse he had highlighted about the sins of man. He had been researching just like I was, but it looked like he just started. I flipped through the Bible more and found passages marked off about it and notes about different interpretations. It made me hopeful. I really wanted David to be okay with who he was and learn to accept it. I hoped that he wouldn't grow to hate himself just because he was gay, and it might possibly be a sin. I just wanted him to be okay with whoever he was becoming.

**A/N: **Thanks for reading sorry it was shorter than the most of the other chapters. Please review and let me know what you thought :)


	13. Normalcy

**A/N:** Shout out to StarShinobi who was my 50th review! Thank you all for the reviews for the story and for the positive responses to chapter 12 :) I started school last week in the car accident aftermath, and it's crazy: lawyers, teachers, homework, people, physical therapy, mechanics, and reading, lots of reading. Due to my course load, from now on, I am going to try my best to update every two weeks.

**Review responses: **Mimi- thank you! I'm glad you liked it, and I helped you out in some way. My dad's a pastor of a church, and he and my mom have been arguing about being gay and Christian for like 2 weeks! If they have an argument, it's usually about the bible. haha.

**Warning:** This story contains sexual assault, abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and strong language.

**Chapter 13: Normalcy**

**Nick's POV**

It was Thursday. The week went by pretty quickly. It had been 4 days since that whole Kurt and Blaine date fiasco. Everyone seemed so down which was completely understandable. I just hoped Thad or someone would sue the crap out that restaurant. It wouldn't be me because I didn't have family lawyers at my disposal like the other guys did. I was complicated. I had money, but not really. I had an account for myself, since my dad wasn't in the picture right now. Then, there was my grandmother trying to help me out, but I didn't like charity. I was fine with people donating to those less fortunate or whatever, just not me. I hated using "family money" on myself. Yes, I was entitled to it, but it felt wrong to spend money that I hadn't earned, money that my father aided in earning. That thought alone disgusted me. I could work when I wasn't studying and pay for my tuition here at Dalton and most of my college tuition. I just needed a scholarship of some sort to help me out with the books and out of state tuition fees. I thought it was ridiculous that just because I was unlucky enough to be born in another state as my dream college I had to pay a few thousand dollars extra. Why was that even there? Did people out of state have to pay extra because they need a team of therapists to help them cope with being away from home? Would I be paying for a more fun experience than the in-state kids? From looking at all the websites, pamphlets, magazines, and books, it seemed like we all got the same bullshit college experience filled with hard times, working, and assholes.

I could have complained all day about how stupid it was, but at the end of the day I needed some extra cash to pay for those out of state fees. I had been trying so hard to get my resume up to par so some school would give me a scholarship. I had this stupid college luncheon/ cocktail party type thing around 1 p.m. today to meet with alumni for a scholarship. It was in the middle of the day. Who does that? I was happy that I was excused from my afternoon classes, but also worried. I would have to get all of my notes from some random student. I didn't trust anyone's notes but my own. I also needed to make up all those quizzes I would miss. At least Kurt had already picked something out for me to wear to this thing. I didn't even know if food would be served, but I did know that Kurt would murder me if I spilled anything on it. I knew that various alumni would be there and I needed to make the best impression possible since Brown is probably laughing at me. I wouldn't even have had to worry about this "get together" if I hadn't completely botched that Brown interview. I'd be happy with any Ivy League after that. Kurt thought I was exaggerating the whole experience when we talked, and I was starting to think that I might have been exaggerating it all too. I was sure that Brown University alumni had something better to every day than sit around joking about the kids they interviewed. Hopefully. Plus, the thing I was going to was for Yale. A few Yale benefactors invited "a select handful of students" as prospects for this new genius scholarship. I would get a chance to scope out the competition…That scared me too. I had to think positively about this whole thing. At least I got to drive Jeff's monster vehicle. I had to find my own transportation, and no one trusts me with my own car. I suspected my family thought I would have run away if they ever bought me one. I probably would have, but today, Jeff's car was all mine. It was huge and wonderful and I had the car all afternoon, and who was I kidding? I'm still freaking out about this "luncheon/cocktail party thing" or whatever it was. All of my excitement about missing classes quickly dissolved into complete worry. I was really just ready for this all to be over with.

I zoned back into English and looked over at Kurt. He seemed to be doing pretty well after everything that happened. Kurt and I were touch and go on our friendship in a way, but he was just worrying about me. We were okay, though, I think. He'd been going on my runs with me. I started running every day, and Kurt joins me. He seemed to get me more than anyone else, even Jeff at times, but Kurt didn't know me like he does. I never wanted Kurt to find out about the cutting. He might have refused to speak to me or worse: tell Jeff. Telling Jeff would be the worst thing anyone could do. I couldn't even imagine his reaction. His predicted reactions ranged from anger to sadness to just him flipping out on me. I wondered how Kurt would react if he knew. I think his response would be calmer than anything Jeff would do. I felt like I should have told Kurt more and possibly confess about the cutting. I felt like I owed him because he told me about the problems at his old school. He even told me while we were running about the things he's doing to cope with it, and how hard he's trying with Blaine which I admire him for. He was so scared to let anyone in after what happened to him, but he was trying and even had a boyfriend. But is that how a friendship works? Should I have just exchanged secrets with Kurt? Should I tell him something deep and personal about me every time he does? I would normally ask Kurt about something like this but I couldn't.

"Mr. Duval!" the teacher yelled, and I flinched at the loudness of her voice.

"...what?" I asked, confused.

"I was just announcing to the class about how you will be representing Dalton Academy this afternoon at Yale University's Alumni Party for Gifted Students, Mr. Duval," she said as she came closer. Kurt quickly moved his book on top of his notebook and blushed. "I asked you how it felt to be one of the students wanted for the 'genius' scholarship."

"Oh," I said. I had no idea what I was supposed to say, and that was what came out. I could literally feel everyone judging me and piercing me in the back with their eyes. I felt like a complete idiot, but I was trying to see what exactly Kurt was hiding.

She laughed. "Do us proud, Mr. Duval," she said. "And you had better come up with something better than 'Oh' to say to the Yale benefactors this afternoon." She winked.

'Yes, I know. Thanks so much for those words of wisdom,' I wanted to say. Instead I just said, "Thanks. I will." I even added a nervous smile.

She continued her lecture and walked towards the back of the classroom. Kurt pushed the book off his notebook and began writing again. I looked over and saw that he had drawn a giant heart with him and Blaine's name in it. It was the most vomit worthy thing ever.

Kurt and Blaine were pretty cute. It was strange for some of the students to see them here, though. The other guys around here weren't hateful, just surprised. It wasn't strange to me at all. It reminded me of those straight high school couples. Blaine was kind of like the guy and Kurt was clearly the girl. Blaine would come get Kurt from his class, hold his hand, and then drop him off at the door of his next class. They walked slowly and close together. They didn't really talk, just smiled a lot. Sometimes Kurt would even hug him and say 'thank you.' I was a little bit jealous of them. I watched them so intently this week that Jeff joked that I might have been jealous of Blaine. Of course, that was completely absurd in a way. I was jealous of them, but not of their relationship. It was their happiness that I wanted. I wanted so much to be that worry-free, that content, and feel protected in some way. I wanted all of those things for myself without having to resort to mutilating myself. That suited me more than what they were doing though. Finding love was a whole other ball game.

Class was finally over and there he was right on schedule to pick up his precious Kurt. I swear that some days Blaine thought Kurt would shatter in pieces if he let go of his hand or showed up late to pick him up.

"Hey," Wes said as we watched Kurt and Blaine walk off slowly. "Wanna walk with me?" He sounded so …normal. He used his inside voice and everything.

"Um, yeah, sure," I said. He started walking so I followed. He didn't try to hold my hand, and he didn't skip either. It had been like that for the past few days. We would walk to class together in silence. Wes and I didn't really have much in common, but seeing him so worn down worried me. I wondered if someone had died, but Kurt assured me that that wasn't the case. He wouldn't say anything else about it though which worried me even more. Wes wasn't the type of person to let anything bother him or get him in any type of mood besides excited. It was really none of my business, but I thought that I should ask anyway. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he said. He didn't look back at me he just kept walking.

"You'll be fine?" I asked. "So, that is to say that right now you are not fine, right? Something has had you down for a few days now. I mean first you move in to Kurt's room, temporarily. Then you move completely out of David's room and into your own room next door. Did he do something? Did something bad happen between you two? You have a fight?"

"Yes and no to all of that," he answered. "It wasn't a fight. It's just complicated. Thanks for asking, Nick, but I really don't want to talk about it to anyone or anything."

I wanted to make one of those jokes I used to and say something like, 'Not even God, Wesley,' but it didn't seem appropriate given the solemn mood.

"No, not even God…especially not God," Wes added, as if he read my mind.

That comment made me worry even more. What in the world could he and David have fought about? It must have been something horrible to cause those two to be on such strange terms. Like I said earlier, it wasn't my business, so I left it alone after that.

Around 11 pm, I was dismissed from class to get ready. I went back to the dorms to get dressed. When I was done, I felt weird. I was in dress pants and a fancy green button up with a tie. It was really no different from what I wore to school every day, but for some reason I felt constricted in a way. It felt stuffy in the room, and I was a little light headed. I loosened my tie, and looked for my wallet and Jeff's keys. I put my wallet and phone in my back pocket, but I couldn't find the keys. Jeff's side of the room was more organized than normal. I used the word 'organized' because it's still messy, and there is still junk everywhere. The junk was just organized into piles and placed near places it was supposed to go. The trash, for example, was scattered in a circle around the trash can, and his books were on the floor under his desk instead of on top of his desk. It was already getting close to 12 pm, so I decided to just go find Jeff. He was either having lunch or in the Art room.

I tried the Art room first, but no one had see him yet. I thought it was odd for him. He, Blaine, and Kurt had the same lunch time so I assumed that he would let them be alone for lunch. I looked around the cafeteria, and there he was, sitting across from Kurt and Blaine, staring at them.

"Really, Jeff?" I asked as I walked up behind him.

"What?" he said with food in his mouth as he turned his head.

"Swallow then speak," Blaine offered.

I sighed. "Why are you in here?" I asked Jeff.

"I didn't have Art stuff to work on so I came in here to have lunch with Blaine and Kurt…I always have lunch at this time," he said.

"You didn't think that they would want some alone time?" I asked.

"Naw, they're good," he said. He looked over to Kurt and Blaine and said, "You two don't mind me around, right?"

Blaine opened his mouth to object, but closed it immediately. Kurt just shook his head no. "See they don't mind me here, Nick," Jeff said happily.

I groaned. "I really think they're just being polite, Jeff."

"Whatever," he said. "They'd tell me to scram if they didn't want me around."

"Jeff—"

"Nick," Kurt interrupted, "it's really fine. I don't mind it at all, and I'm sure Blaine might a little, but it's really fine."

"Okay, Kurt," I said.

"So, why are you even here, Nick?" Jeff asked.

"That was kind of rude," I said, defensively.

"Sorry?" Jeff said, confused.

"You do look rather nice today, Nick," Blaine said, looking at Kurt, knowing Kurt picked out my clothes. Blaine rubbed the back of Kurt's hand and smiled at him. Kurt blushed and looked away from him. I scoffed at his romantic gesture. How did Jeff stand staring at this for a whole hour.

"Hey," Jeff said, "none of that." He gestured with his fork at Kurt and Blaine's hands which were intertwined. "I eat here." Blaine just rolled his eyes at Jeff and let go of Kurt's hand. "And yes, Nick, you do look good. What's the occasion?" he teased.

"Oh, stop," I said. "You all know that stupid brunch, luncheon, cocktail, party, bullshit of a get together thing is today."

"You really need to find out what exactly it is that you're going to," Jeff said.

"Yeah, what did the invitation say?" Blaine asked.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "The principal got the letter and told me I was invited to a cocktail party by Yale for some of the students they've been looking at for a scholarship."

"Cocktail Party?" Kurt asked.

"Yep," Jeff said. "That's what he called it. But our German teacher has been calling it a 'luncheon.'"

"The math teacher has been calling it a 'brunch'," said Blaine.

"Oh, and our English teacher called it a 'party'," Kurt said. "So which is it?"

"I honestly have no idea what it is," I said. "The website called it a 'get-together.' I just know I'm invited to a thing 20 minutes away to kiss the asses of some wealthy benefactors."

"I don't see why you want the scholarship so badly," Jeff said. "College is pretty much paid for, for you." I didn't think he'd get it. I hoped he would just know that I didn't want to use that bastard's money to pay for my schooling, but he didn't. And I didn't feel like explaining it to him or anyone else.

"Oh, I just want to pay for it all on my own," I said.

"I really respect that, Nick," Kurt said as he smiled at me. He might not have fully understood what I meant, but I could tell he got what I meant.

"Thanks," I said with a smile. "Jeff, since I'm using your car to get to this mysterious venue, can I have your keys?"

"Oh!" Jeff yelled. "I'm sorry! I thought I left them for you on the dresser, but I think I took them with me by mistake!" He searched his pockets, and threw me the keys. "Are you going to be late?"

"Naw, it's fine, Jeff," I said. "Stop freaking out."

He took a deep breath. "Seriously, though, good luck, Nick," he said.

"Yeah, good luck, Nick!" Kurt said, cheerfully. "And tighten your tie. It looks loose. You'll want to make a good first impression on these people."

"Yeah, and smile more," Blaine said.

"Ha!" Jeff said. "You do always look so serious." He smiled. "Treat Bessie well."

"I'll drive your car carefully if that's what you mean," I said as I started to walk away.

Jeff stood up and grabbed my arm. "Bessie is not just 'a car.' She is a beautiful piece of art that deserves to be treated with respect. I love her more than anything and if you hurt Bessie in any way, I will be forced to hurt you." He looked so serious. I was actually slightly fearful of the stern tone he just gave me. Then he just pulled me into a hug. "Good luck, Nick. Just relax. You'll be fine," he whispered as he let go.

"…thanks," I said. "Bye!" I waved and left the cafeteria.

When I got into the parking lot, there were a lot more cars there than I expected. I knew that there would be students from all over the area that Yale deemed 'worthy' of the scholarship, but I didn't expect this many cars. The building was large, so I thought that maybe some of those cars belonged to people who worked there. I was just worried for no reason. Like Jeff said, everything was going to be fine. I fixed my tie, and walked in the building confidently. I was directed to a room packed full of people. There was a large table with name tags on it right next to the door of the hall. I grabbed mine and noticed that there were about 27 name tags left on the table. That meant even more people were coming! Why were there so many students there? I had no idea that this many students around Ohio were interested in Yale! And Yale was interested in them too! Damn. I didn't know if I stood a chance at all. There was so much competition.

"You could either go out and mingle with the other students," the woman at the name tag table suggested, "or you can start with the benefactors."

That sounded good. I could scope out all the competition first. "Okay, thanks," I said.

"No problem," she said with a friendly smile. "Be careful though. Some of the benefactors are easy to spot because of their age, but some of them look and are younger than you would expect."

I gave her another smile to mask my confusion. It didn't look like she cared, more like she knew I wasn't going to listen to her and she got to sit back and watch me make a fool of myself. Even the receptionist was against me. I'd prove her wrong. I made my way through the room pretending to connect to random strangers who were way older than me. I had complete control and was incredibly charming. I even 'accidentally' bumped into one of the alumni, apologized, and pretended to awkwardly squint at his name tag to get his name. We had a laugh, a fake laugh for me, about the name tags, and then talked business. I really could have been an actor with all the emotions I faked. I didn't think I had ever smiled that much. My face hurt. With one of the benefactors, I couldn't make myself smile. I think my face went numb, but he took me not laughing as me being honest and claimed he liked it. After about 45 minutes of that, I took a break and stood at one of the tables they had littered around the room. They were tall tables with white tablecloths on them and two stools. I sat in one of the stools and looked around. A girl with long dark brown hair and green eyes sat down in the stool across from me shortly after. She carefully took off her brown purse that perfectly matched her skin and placed it on the table.

"Are you sure you're in the right place?" the girl asked me.

"…yeah, why do you ask?" I asked worried.

"It's just that you don't look like a complete nerd," she said.

"Oh well thanks," I said. "You don't either, I guess."

"That didn't sound convincing at all," she said.

"I'm sorry, I just.." I started

"It's all good," she said. "How are you liking this get together?"

"It's alright," I said.

"Oh please, don't lie," she said. "You look as bored as I do. I wish I didn't need this stupid scholarship, but out of state tuition is a bitch."

"I know right!" I said.

"Yes, why should we have to pay an extra couple thousand dollars because we don't live in that state?" she asked.

"It's ridiculous," I agreed.

"Well, I'm going to go kiss some more ass," she said as she grabbed her purse off of the table. I smiled. "I'll see you around, Mr. Duval."

I wondered how she knew my name, but then I looked down at my name tag. She laughed at my obvious confusion. "See you, um, Ms. Vanhorklepunk…horklepounkt?"

"It's a shame such a cute boy like you can't read," she said and smiled.

"Ha-ha," I said. "You hair is blocking part of and—"

"I know, Nick. I was just joking," she said. "It's really an awful name, isn't it?" she said. "My friends just call me Nora. Well, I spot a member of the scholarship committee. See ya." And after that she just walked away.

I was relieved that I wasn't the only kid there who was normal for a change. I wish I had her confidence to just walk up to a stranger and say what's on her mind and walk away. It was interesting. But wait… she spotted a member of the scholarship's committee! They weren't supposed to be here! I didn't even know they were here! How did I not see them? They were so young. Crap. I just needed to calm down and get over there and not make a complete ass of myself. I also should breathe.

I got up from the table, and looked down at my phone to check the time. I bumped right into this massive blonde guy. He was tall and very muscular for a seventeen to eighteen year old boy.

I looked up and said, "I am so sorry. I was just—"

"Texting and not paying attention?" he asked. \

"No," I smiled, "I wasn't—"

"That's probably not a good idea when you're in a room full scholarship committee folks is it,…Mr. Duval," he said cutting me off as he bent down a little to look at my name tag. I just pulled that douche move earlier on a member. That's what it was: a douche move. But I think this guy, Thompson, really does that kind of stuff. This boy might be a douchebag. And who names their kid Thompson? Rich, bastards who want their kids to have 'strong' first names, that's who.

"So, Mr. Duval," he said, as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "What brings you here?"

"…I was invited like you…" I said, slowly.

"Yes," he said, "it was a very difficult road to becoming a genius, but here we are."

"..um, yeah…" I said, slowly. "I'm gonna go—"

"You probably are wondering what a guy like me was doing at this nerd fest, right?" he asked.

"No, not really," I said. Why was everyone saying this was for nerds? This was just for students who were well aware of their college careers as soon as they entered high school and were determined to make it. If being well-prepared made me a nerd, then bring on the pocket protectors.

"Well, Nick, my family…" he said. I tuned him out and just stared at him. Why was he still talking to me? I looked up at his face and he wasn't really looking at me while he was talking either. He had perfect facial features too! He had the 'superman chin,' the dimples, and the perfect smile. Jesus Christ, this is messed up. I have to walk away. I looked over and saw an older gentleman with glasses and started to head in his direction.

"Oh wait," Thompson said. "Are you about to go see good old, Mr. Vilisman?"

I gave him a shocked look. 'Vilis' means to be rude, worthless or cheap in Latin, I think. So that man's name could literally be translated to 'mean man.' Was he being rude, or did he know him?

"Yeah, that's really his name," he said. "It's weird. I think it means something awful in Latin, but it is what it is. I just talked to him. He's good friends with the members on the Brown alumni association."

"Really?" I asked, fascinated for once in the conversation.

"Yeah," Thompson said. He started to smile. "He told me this story his friend told him. His friend interviewed this guy the other week. His friend said the guy's grades were perfect, but he looked awful. He said his clothes were completely wrinkled. He had on a blazer and that was even wrinkled! Can you believe that? How do you make a blazer look that bad?" He stopped and laughed. "So, anyway, they start talking and the guy knows barely anything about Brown. The guy doesn't even know what he wants to do with his life, but he wants to go to Brown! His friend said it was the worst interview he had all month." He laughed again.

That story sounded all too familiar, but Mr. Vilisman's friend could have traveled to a lot of private schools in the last few weeks. He might not have been talking about me, but I had to make sure. I took a deep breath. I gave a forced laugh. "So do you know what school that guy went to?"

"I think he was from Dalton," he said, confirming my fear. "You go there so you might know him. I doubt he's here but that really sucks, doesn't it? It's hilarious too. That boy really doesn't stand a chance at getting into Brown or anywhere. He's even undecided about his major! I mean I know at Brown you just take class toward some general idea of what you want, but still! And to make matters even worse for the kid when it was over, his backpack broke as he was leaving!" He laughed really loudly. It was me. That boy that he was cracking a laugh at was me. I had to walk away. I had to get out of there. For some reason, I was having trouble breathing and I thought I was going vomit all of the nothing I ate today.

"Excuse me," I managed to get out before dashing to the restroom. I ripped off my tie and threw in the sink, and locked the door.

I couldn't believe had actually become his cheap joke! Damn it! I was the only student there from Dalton! Once that jerk figured that out, he'd go blabbing to the other students here about it. They'd probably go flocking to Mr. Vilis to get the whole story about the 'Dalton boy,' then they'd come to me laughing and asking if I knew who it was. I couldn't tell them it was me. What if they all figured out that it was me? I slid down onto the floor and put my head in my hands. Shit, I had completely forgotten about that incident when I walked in there. My breathing got worse. I think I was having a panic attack. I thought about the X-Acto knife that I had stolen from Jeff earlier in the week. I shouldn't have taken it. I just thought that I might have needed it for this get together, and I did. I really did. I was a mess. I was. I was sitting on a bathroom floor struggling to breathe. I knew that I just needed to calm down in the fastest way possible. I unpinned my name tag and threw it across the floor. That was it. That pin could save me. I reached over and grabbed the pin. I untucked my shirt and shoved the pin into my side as hard as could, and I dragged it across my hip. I had no idea a safety pin could do that for me. I felt a horrible stinging from side. I didn't expect it to do anything like that. I sat for a moment in the floor until I heard a knock on the door.

Oh my God! I can't get caught like this. "Just a second," I yelled. There had to be something in this uni-sex bathroom. I opened the cabinet quickly in search of band-aids. I had to admit that the pads were looking pretty helpful right about then, but I wasn't about to stick one to my side. I pushed those aside and found some small band-aids, and I carefully placed one on my side. I felt…so at peace, I guess. I wasn't tense anymore at all, and I could breathe. I tucked my shirt back into my pants, and fixed my tie. I looked in the mirror and smiled. Everything was in order, so I could go back out there. Of course, I couldn't face the alumni or the committee members, but at least I could drive back contently. I opened the door and headed out. I was stopped by a worried Nora?

"What have you been up to, Mister?" she asked me.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Were you the one knocking on the door?

"Yes, I saw you just now!" she said. "You were talking to that douchebag Thompson, and then, you ran into the bathroom looking like you were about to freak out or puke. Are you okay?"

I was glad that I wasn't the only person who thought he was douche. "I'm fine. I didn't vomit," I said. Why was she even worried about me?

"I'm glad, but why did you come out looking so much better like you had thrown up?" she asked. She gasped. "You went in there and snorted some coke didn't you?"

"No!" I said in a hurried whisper. "Keep your voice down. Do you want to get us both disqualified or something?"

"You had to have done some type of drug," she concluded. "You run in there looking all pale and sick. Then, you walk out looking more confident than ever. I don't get it."

"There's nothing for you to get," I told her.

"Well then why is there blood on your shirt?" she asked.

"What?" I yelled and looked down at my side.

"The blood right above your waistband…" she asked.

"Oh, I didn't even notice that," I said. Stupid, worthless Band-Aid brand. I needed to think of something quick! I thought I didn't cut deep enough for that to happen. It was just a safety pin! "It must be something I spilled on myself. How long has it been there? I hope it wasn't there when I was talking to the benefactors." I added a laugh to try and soften the mood and make my story seem convincing.

"You're lying to me," she said. Did she really see through my bullshit, or was she bluffing? "The spot on your shirt started growing when we started talking."

Well, I couldn't cover that up. I loved watching the blood leak out of me quickly, but for once, I wished I wasn't such a 'good bleeder.' "Oh, yeah, wow. I must have run into something really hard," I said with a laugh.

"So you ran into something and you didn't even notice?" she asked, completely skeptical. "You should probably let someone take a look at it."

Fuck. Yes, of course, I felt it. It felt wonderful until then. At that moment, I was just kind of ashamed that someone had seen it, that she had seen it. "I should leave and go get it checked out or something…bye." I dashed out of the building feeling like a jerk for lying straight to her face like that. I had been faking all of my emotions all afternoon, but she saw straight through that. The blood leaking onto my shirt probably aided in that. Kurt was going to kill me for ruining this shirt. I couldn't believe that that was what I was thinking about after all of this. I couldn't fucking drive like that. I could open the cut more and just lie in the truck and breathe. I needed to relax before I exploded. My head was killing me. I got out to the parking lot and almost to the truck when I heard someone calling me**.**

"Nick!" Norashouted. "Wait!" I waited for her to catch up to me. "Boy, you sure do jog fast! Are you on the track team or something?"

"Actually, I am," I smiled. We both looked at each other for a moment then laughed.

"Are you really alright, Nick?" she asked, seriously.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I said. Well, my injury would heal anyway.

"Do you have your phone on you?" she asked.

"Um yeah I do," I said as I pulled it out of my back pocket. She reached over and snatched it from my hands before I got a word out. She lifted the phone up, turned her head to the side, made a ridiculous face, and took a picture.

"There," she said, handing the phone back to me. "Now, you can look back on all this crap that happened today and smile."

She was definitely strange, but the picture did make me smile. "Thanks," I said. I genuinely meant it, too.

"Oh!" she said. She reached into her purse and grabbed a pen. "Give me your arm," she demanded and reached over and grabbed it. She pushed up the sleeve of shirt and began to write something.

"Sure, why not?" I said. "Yes, you can use my arm as paper. Thanks for asking."

"Oh, shut up," she said with a smile. "Look, I'm already done." I looked down at my arm and she had given me her number. "Save it in your phone, you know, so we can talk some time. It's nothing seriously romantic or anything. I just think you're an interesting kid, Nicholas Duval. Call me some time if you want to chat, okay?"

"I'll think about it," I said.

"You'll do it," she said confidently. "Even if you don't save it, you've already seen it and it's probably imprinted into your memory."

"Damn, my photographic memory," I said, jokingly.

She smiled. "See you 'round."

"See you," I said as I climbed into Jeff's SUV, and drove away leaving her standing there on the sidewalk waving good-bye.

I was surprised at how calm she made me feel. I wasn't in some sort of love at first site bullshit. She was just some person that briefly made me happy. At least, I think this was happiness. I wasn't sure. She made me relax. I didn't know random people or someone besides Jeff could make me feel that way. I guess this was why Kurt said I should talk to people more. But normally people tend to cause my problems and piss me off, but Nora didn't do that. She could be a good friend. The things was, though, she wouldn't be around 24/7 as a buffer for life for me, so I decided to stick with my usual buffer . I couldn't believe she thought I did drugs! I smiled at the thought. I guess in a way what I did do was kind of like a drug. It was addictive, dangerous, and I was definitely hurting myself. I think she actually liked me as person or worse. I think she wanted to be with me. I couldn't save her number. The best thing I could do for her was forget about her. She deserved someone better than me. I would be a waste of time for her. I sighed and headed to the drug store to stock up on supplies to aid me with my addiction.

**Jeff's POV**

When Warbler practice ended, I rushed out of the door and practically ran to the dorms. Nick and Bessie had been gone all afternoon! He didn't even text me when he got there or when he left or if everything went okay. I had no idea if he was on the way back or if he was already here. Did he wreck? No, Nick's an excellent driver he wouldn't wreck Bessie. Bessie was safe, and Nick was safe. Everything was okay, or at least that's what I told myself throughout dinner and practice when no one had any news of Nick.

"Slow down!" shouted David as he caught up to me. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"I'm headed back to the dorms," I told him.

"Why the rush? Are you excited to go to study hours?" he said.

"No, it's just that Nick hasn't called or texted me and told me he was back from the dinner , yet," I said, worried. "I texted him and he never texted me back. I'm just worried he might have crashed."

"You're being over dramatic," David said. "He probably just saw it and forgot to text you back. Stop worrying. Nick is fine. He didn't crash. You've got to stop worrying so much about him. Why do you worry so much?" he asked. "I know his mom died and his dad's not around, but why do you feel the need to be them?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Nick's doing a good job of taking care of himself," he said. "You act like his parents who are constantly worried about him and asking him all these things about school."

"Yeah, I know," I confessed. "You're right. It causes a few fights between us some days."

"Yeah, I hear them," he said.

"Oh, sorry," I said, embarrassed.

"Nick's literally a genius so, he has school under control," David offered. "I think he just needs you to be his friend and not his dad. Maybe then you two could argue less and go back to being the best friends you used to be. Maybe then there would be less bickering and more studying."

I laughed. "Whatever. Thanks though for the advice, David. Hopefully, now, you and Wes can concentrate on studying more," I said. I completely forgot that Wes moved out. "Sorry, I—"

"Yeah, well, Wes finally convinced Kurt to join the Warblers in French today," he said. "I'm pretty sure he used 'spending more time around Blaine' in there somewhere, but it worked. He's making Kurt audition tomorrow."

"What?' I said, surprised. "I didn't think Kurt would ever give in to Wes. Does he know what he's singing? "

"Nope, we'll just have to see and 'be amazing' as Wes put it," David said with a smile.

He looked so happy when anyone brought up Wes, but just now he looked sad again and tired. "What's up with you and Wes, anyway? You two have a fight?"

"No, not really," he said. "But yeah, Blaine wants to take Kurt somewhere special after he officially becomes a Warbler."

"That's nice," I said. "So, you and Wes are okay?"

"Yeah, we're just going through some things right now. It's complicated," he confessed.

"Oh, okay," I said. He looked like he really didn't want to talk about it so I left it alone. "So, is it a date type thing for Blaine and Kurt or a celebratory dinner? If it's a celebratory dinner, all of the warblers should be there. We could have a party!"

"I'm going to stop you right there, Jeff," he said. "Blaine said that he wants this to be a strictly him and Kurt thing. It's not 'like a date.' It is a date. It will be their first official date."

"Oh," I said. "They hadn't even had their first date yet! Wow."

"Yeah," David said, slowly. "Blaine said that he was looking to have private lunches since you rarely come to lunch, but this week you have been popping up every day."

"Is this some hint that they want me to stop having lunch with them?" I asked. "Nick thought the same thing so we asked and Kurt specifically said that they didn't mind. Maybe Blaine just wants some alone time to get it on with Kurt."

"You think Blaine wants to 'get it on with Kurt' in the middle of the cafeteria?" David asked.

"Well, no, I guess not," I said.

He laughed. "Yeah, exactly. He probably just wants to talk so he can get to know Kurt more. That's the whole point of dating right?"

"Yeah, you're right," I said with a sigh. "I guess I should make myself scarce around lunch time and just finish up my Art School applications."

"Yeah, that'd be nice for them," he said.

"But if one day, I'm not busy and I'm really hungry, I'm bustin' in there and eating with them whether they like it or not," I said, determined.

"Okay, Jeff," David smiled.

We were back at the dorms really soon, and my door was cracked.

"Nick?" I asked as I opened the door.

"Hey, I just got back halfway through Warbler practice," he said. "It took me a while to get back. I went to the drugstore to get a few things, and then, I got lost, but eventually I made it back."

"I texted you!" I shouted. He seemed so nonchalant about this whole thing. "I didn't know where you were. I was worried! Why didn't you text me back?"

"Jeff, calm down," he said, as he stood up. "My phone died. I had to wait for it to turn back on to get any messages. You probably texted me while it was dead so I'll get it soon. You know how these stupid Palms are."

"So, how did it go?" I asked. If he was okay, then fine. His phone died. He's good.

"Oh, it went pretty well compared to the last interview type thing I had," he said with a smile.

"Um, okay, so did you have fun? Did you hate it?" I asked. "Did you do Dalton proud?" I joked.

"It was a boring scholarship thing. The other kids were interesting, and the adults were adults," he said.

"Oh," I said. I didn't really know how to take that response.

"Do you think I'm a nerd?" he asked.

"What the hell?" I asked.

"Some of the kids called it a 'nerd fest' so I was wondering if met the qualifications of a nerd," he said in a scientific way.

"You are not a nerd, Nick," I said with a laugh. "You just know a lot of things that us normal kids could care less about."

"Jesus, I'm a nerd," he said. "That's your nice way of telling me that I'm at least border line nerd!"

I just laughed. "I don't think you are."

"Then, why are you laughing," he said with a laugh.

"The same reason you are: it was a stupid question," I said.

"Yeah, you're right," he said. He tossed me my keys and sat back down at his desk. "Oh and I checked the mail," Nick said.

I gave him a confused look. "Why did you check the mail? You don't normally check it 'cause…" I stopped. He doesn't like checking the mail because he never gets anything. Most kids here check the mail in hopes to get letters from their family or presents because some of us are far from home. Nick doesn't really have any of that so he doesn't like to check the mail. It just reminds him of the past. I, however, loved checking the mail! I have a pretty big family so they are always sending me artsy things. I usually kept my excitement about the mail to myself because I didn't want to seem like I was bragging about how much mail my family sent. My excitement was just genuine excitement, but I was still worried Nick might take it the wrong way. Even if he did understand that I was just happy about it and not being a jerk, he'd probably still be sad.

"I know you like to check the mail after Warbler practice to delay your studying. Since I had your keys, I checked it for you," he said.

"Oh," I said. "Thanks."

"You got a letter," he said. "I put it on your bed. It's from Columbia University."

He didn't sound too happy about all this. "Yeah, I, um, sent in some of my drawings to the Art school there."

He sighed. "Jeff, one of these days, you're going to have to start worrying about yourself and not me."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Oh come on," he said, with a laugh. "My dream school is Brown University located in Rhode Island, and you just happen to want to go to a school 3 hours away from me? You don't even like Columbia University!"

"I might have changed my mind…possibly," I said. I was a horrible liar.

"Please, I know you," he said. "Your dream school is School of the Art Institute of Chicago! That's where you belong Jeff. It's what you want, and Chicago would be a great city for you too. You love it there. So, go."

"How do you know that Columbia isn't just one of my back-ups?" I asked.

"Because nobody puts Columbia University as a back-up," he scoffed. "It's really hard to get into. It's not just some sucky school people go to as a last resort."

"Fine," I gave in. "You know you're taking this all pretty well, Nick. You're not mad at me for trying to go to a university close to you just to keep an eye on you?"

"Nope," he said. "I was mad at first that you kept it from me, but I would have been royally pissed off if you actually went through with it! Don't sacrifice your dreams for me. It's ridiculous. Do what you want. Besides we will still see each other."

"You'll be like a day away!" I shouted.

"I'll be like an hour away by plane," he laughed.

"But Bessie will want to see you too," I said. 

"I'm sure she will live," Nick told me. "Just thanks for the gesture, but I'll be fine on my own. You really are like one of those protective fathers."

"Yep, I sure am," I said. "And you're like my teenage daughter."

He laughed. "What? That's hilarious. So is college like a representation of the boy you think will impregnate me?"

"Ha! Yes! That's perfect," I laughed. "Because I can't stop you from going to college, but I can keep a close eye on you and that 'boy'!"

"Well, Daddy, I think I'll be fine on my own," Nick said with a laugh.

"Okay," I said, as I hugged him. "Just use protection when needed!" I couldn't hold in my laughter anymore and neither could he.

We laughed loudly and talked about other things and we let the joke go even farther until there was a knock at the door. "Come in!" I shouted.

It was David. "Look guys, I get that you're all happy that Nick isn't getting pregnant or whatever you guys are shouting about, but it's study hours. I've been getting complaints about noise."

"Sorry," I said. "We'll be quieter."

"Yeah," said Nick. "I'm going to start on some of this work I missed today."

"Okay, thanks," David said as he shut the door.

Nick and I looked at each other and laughed again. I guessed Nick was doing just fine. He really didn't need me at all. He seemed to have everything under control. He was laughing and joking me like we used to. He was right though. I needed to start worrying about me and getting into my schools for now. The deadlines were so soon and I still wasn't done with all of my applications. I could work on them without any worry now. He was fine, more than fine from the looks of it. I just needed to let the past go, and look toward the future.

There was another knock on the door an hour later. "Come in!" Nick and I shouted.

Wes peaked his head through the door. "It's time!"

"For?" Nick asked.

"My cooking lesson," I said.

"Yup," Wes said, happily as he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room. I waved 'Bye' to Nick. He looked confused. I couldn't remember if I had told him about the cooking lessons or not, but I would later.

We got to the kitchen and Blaine was sitting at the table reading. "Why is Blaine here? Can he even cook?" I asked Wes.

"I'm right here, Jeff," Blaine said.

"Whatever," I said. "Why aren't you with Kurt?"

"He's studying," he said. "Plus, Wes asked me to be here because I know how to use the fire extinguisher."

"Wait are we setting things on fire?" I asked.

"No, you're just not very good in the kitchen..and.. I..," Wes said as he trailed off and looked away awkwardly. "Anyway, we are going to be making spaghetti!" he shouted.

"Oh okay," I said. "That sounds like a lot for one night."

"Yeah, well, we are going to be making a simple version with no meat," Wes said as he washed his hands. "How do you normally make ramen?" he asked as he gestured towards the sink.

I pushed my sleeves up and washed my hands with that fruity smelling soap. "I just put the ramen in the bowl fill it with water and throw it in the microwave."

"So, you never cook it over the stove?" Wes asked.

"Why would I do that?" I asked. I looked at Blaine. "You can do that?"

"Yes, you can do that!" Wes shouted. "I was going to say that cooking spaghetti is like cooking ramen."

He took out a bottle of Ragu sauce, a large spoon, and a pack of long noodles. He placed a pot on the stove and set up a strainer contraption in one side of the sink. It hooked onto the sink and the strainer sat in the middle. "Now, for spaghetti. fill the pot with water, let it boil, and then you put the noodles in the pot. Then, you will strain the noodles, place them back in the pot and put the sauce on them. Try it out."

"Like now?" I asked.

"Yes, this is all you will need," he said as he pointed to all the items he laid out. He took a seat at the table next to Blaine and watched.

"Okay cool," I said.

I filled the pot with water, put it back on the stove, and turned the gas. "Okay, how long will it take for it to boil?"

"Just a few minutes," Wes said. I stood there and stared at the pot. "You can come sit down. A watched pot never boils."

"Um, okay," I said as I took a seat across from them.

Blaine and Wes both brought books to this event. All I had was my phone so I pulled it out and play some games. I heard the pot boiling so I got up to check it. "Oh my gosh! It's boiling!" I shouted.

"Yes, now, what are you going to do?" Wes asked.

"Put the noodles in," I said. He nodded. I opened the pack of noodles and poured them into the pot. The noodles were so long that they came out of the pot. "Wes, the noodles don't fit in the pot. Is there a bigger one we could use?"

"No, you're going to have to pick up the noodles and break them in half," he said.

"Oh," I said as I picked up a few and broke them over the pot. "Like this?"

"Yeah, just like that," Wes said, nonchalantly staring at his book.

I sat back down and waited for them to boil in the water some. When I got up, Wes said, "Now, what are you going to do?"

"Strain the noodles," I said.

"Yup," Wes said with a smile. He was happy I got it right, and I was too.

I turned off the stove and picked up the pot. "So, I just pour the noodles into this strainer thingy?"

"Yup," Wes said with a laugh.

"Okay," I said.

I strained the noodles and waited for them to cool a bit. I picked up the strainer and poured them back into the pot. I poured the Ragu sauce into pot and used the spoon to stir everything together. "Is this it? Am I done?"

"Yup, that's it!" Wes yelled. "You passed class number 1!"

"Weird," I said. "I didn't know it could be this simple."

"Yeah, well, later I'll teach you how to make your sauce for your spaghetti, and how to cook meat properly," he said.

"Thanks," I said. "Are you and Blaine going to try some?"

"You know I'm not hungry, and since you didn't catch the kitchen on fire, my work here is done," Blaine said as he got up. "Good night, guys."

"Night, Blaine!" Wes waved.

"Night," I said, grumpily. "I bet he left so quickly because he didn't want to taste it."

Wes laughed. "I'll eat it. You can't mess up plain Spaghetti with pre-made sauce."

It ended up tasting pretty plain because I hadn't learned how to season things or cook meat yet, but I'd get there. We added salt, pepper, and even cheese to it to make it taste better. The cheese made it amazing. I thought about adding cheese to everything I made, but Wes said that I should only cover up my food with cheese as a last ditch effort or something. I didn't care either way. I was just happy I could make something besides ramen and sandwiches. I had a good night. My talk with Nick went well and I decided to follow David's advice and just stop worrying like a dad and just be there as a friend. The best part though was the late night cheesy spaghetti, though.

**A/N:** Thanks for reading! Please review. Me=Tinker Bell, reviews=applause :)


	14. TryOuts

**Warning:** This story contains sexual assault, abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and strong language.

**A/N:** Sorry it's a day late! My editor literally just sent it back to me.

**Chapter 14: Try-Outs**

**Kurt's POV**

I heard a knock on my door while I was getting ready.

"Hey, are you coming to breakfast?" It was Blaine.

"Yeah, I'll be over there soon," I shouted back.

"Alright," he said as he walked away.

He sounded sad that we couldn't go to breakfast together. Even his footsteps sounded sad. We had been spending every moment we possibly could together. Back at McKinley, I hated seeing couples that literally were attached at the hip. I understand them now. Being with Blaine was always so wonderful. It just made sense that I never wanted to be apart from him since he made me feel so incredible.

My phone alarm went off. I grabbed it and turned it off. It said that my Warbler audition was today. Oh my god! I still hadn't picked a song! I haven't talked to Blaine about the song choice because I wanted it to be a surprise, but I had completely forgotten about it. I grabbed my phone off of the bed and called Finn. After two rings it went straight to voicemail, so I called the house phone.

"…hello?" Finn said as he yawned.

"My audition is today!" I shouted into the receiver. "I completely forgot! I texted you about helping me pick a song choice remember?"

"Yeah, for the Wobblings or, no, the Wombats," he said, with another yawn. "Yeah, the Wombats, that's what it was. No, I haven't thought about the song. I forgot, too."

"It's the _Warblers_," I corrected him. "What am I going to do? I have nothing to sing. My audition is today! It's this afternoon!"

"So, you're really going to try and be a part of the Warblers?" he asked. "I thought you said you weren't sure, and you were just going to fly under the radar at this school."

"Yeah, I was really nervous about the audition, but Blaine convinced me that I'd do fine and that I sound wonderful," I said thinking back to when Blaine convinced me to audition.

"So, you really like Blaine, huh?" Finn asked.

"Yeah, we're dating," I said, happily. "I have a boyfriend! Isn't that great?"

"What?" I heard Dad yell.

"Dad, were you listening this whole time?" I asked.

"No, I was outside, and then I remembered that I needed to call Carole to remind her to pick up some things on her way home. My cell phone was dead because I never remember to charge the darned thing so I was going to use the house phone. I picked up and heard you shout you had a boyfriend," he explained.

"Oh," I said.

"How long have you two been a thing?" Dad asked.

"About a week or so," I said.

"Oh," Dad said. "That's not long at all."

"No…it's not," I said. "Why did you say it like that?"

"It's just that you don't even really know the kid," he said. "It's nothing too serious."

"It's not Facebook official or anything, but I'd like to think that my relationship with Blaine is serious," I said, offended.

"I'm with Burt on this one, Kurt," Finn said. "You don't know Blaine very well so you guys could break up over something stupid soon and it'll be over so Burt doesn't have anything to worry about."

"What?" I said, confused.

"All I was sayin' is that as you get to know each other more you might find things that you don't like about Blaine," Dad said. "Blaine might find things he doesn't like about you either. It might cause you two to realize that you're not right for each other."

"You're saying that Blaine won't like me anymore once he finds out what kind of person I am or vice versa?" I asked.

"Yeah because you don't really know each other, Kurt," he said.

"I know Blaine just fine," I argued.

"Do you really, Kurt?" Finn asked. "He might be just being nice. You don't really know anything about him."

"Yes, I do, Finn!" I shouted. "Blaine isn't just 'being nice.' He's a nice person. That's just who is he is."

"What kind of car does Blaine drive?" Dad asked.

"I'm not sure, but he's taking me out this weekend in it so I'll know then," I said.

"What school did he go to before he went to Dalton?" Finn asked.

"I don't know we haven't talked about it," I said.

"What do his parents do for a living?" Dad asked.

"A lawyer and a chef," I said confidently. I knew that one. Blaine told me about how the food in the cafeteria was nothing compared to his mother's cooking because she's a chef. I was shocked he wasn't fat from that fact alone and from all the food he consumed daily. He didn't say much about what his dad did. He just said he was a lawyer and not around much.

"What's his favorite color?" Finn asked.

"He says that it's tie between blue and red. He can't decide because—Wait, why does any of that matter? I like him! Can't I like him because I just do?" I asked.

"Sure, son," Dad said. "You can like whoever you want to. I just wanted to make sure you know the guy before you start getting too serious."

"Yeah, Kurt," Finn agreed. "You barely know Blaine, but you're going be his boyfriend and be in a relationship with him?"

"I _am_ his boyfriend, and I _am_ in a relationship with him," I said loudly. I sighed. "Look, you guys don't understand. Sure, yeah, Blaine and I don't talk about his family or his life goals often, but we talk about our dreams. He listens to me and understands me, and I do the same for him. I know I don't know every little thing about Blaine, but he makes me happy. I haven't been happy in a long time. I hated McKinley High, and the students there never really gave me the time of day. Here, Blaine introduced me to his friends, and they are my friends now, too. I have people who care about me. I owe Blaine for that. I was afraid of opening up to him or anyone, but I trust him. I love the way he makes me feel wanted by someone. I didn't think that would happen after what Karofsky did, but he doesn't care about that. He still wants to be with me! This whole week has gone by so fast, but I wish I could relive this whole week and live in the moments Blaine and I had alone over and over again. I loved it every moment of it!"

I zoned out and thought about our week. I smiled to myself. I even loved it when he made me spill coffee one of my shirts. We ran to the bathroom and he tried to scrub it out of my shirt while I was still wearing it. He just ended up smearing it and I had this huge stain on my shirt, so he lent me his Dalton hoodie to wear that day. I hate hoodies, but it was Blaine's so I wore it all day. It was ridiculous, but I loved it and had fun.

"…I think I love him," I said, out loud into the receiver.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Finn said, shocked. "Kurt, you just can't spring the L-word on a guy like that. Guys will freak out on you."

"I am a guy, Finn," I said.

"But you're like the girl in the relationship aren't you?" he asked.

"Really, Finn?" I said angrily.

"Kurt," Dad interrupted. "Finn is just saying that Blaine might not be ready for 'the L-word.' A lot of meaning comes with that word. Blaine might not be able to handle that. He might not take it the way you think he will."

"Are you trying to tell me that you don't think Blaine will ever love me?" I asked, sadly.

"No, that's not what we're saying, Kurt," Dad said. "We're just saying that even though you have fallen really fast for Blaine, Blaine might not have fallen for you like that yet."

"Yeah," Finn said. "But don't worry about it, Kurt. Eventually you and Blaine will break up and you will find a much better guy."

"Wait, you think Blaine's going to break up with me?" I asked.

"I mean not now," Finn said. "I was just saying that if you tell Blaine you love him when you guys go out this weekend and he doesn't say it back, aren't you going to break up?"

"No," I said. "I don't know. I hope not. I hope he loves me, too," I said quietly.

"Me too," Finn said softly.

"We both want him to love to you, too," Dad said. "Just don't get your hopes up too high. Anything could happen, and I don't want you setting yourself up for heartbreak, okay, kid?"

"Okay, Dad," I said.

"I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, Kurt," Dad said.

"Bye," I said.

I heard him hang up the phone and stood silently for a moment. "I, um, I'm sorry if we made you upset, Kurt," Finn said. "We are just looking out for you. Blaine might not be that great of a guy in the end. I know you want to be in love and find someone so badly, but be careful. I don't want anyone to break my little brother's heart."

"Thanks, Finn," I said. I understood, now. They weren't being mean or trying to give me a taste of reality. They were just being overprotective like a 'big' brother and a dad should be. But still, they brought some things to my attention. I didn't know Blaine very well. We had only been dating for a short while. I wanted to know everything about him though. Didn't that part matter to them?

"So, you want to talk about what song you are going to sing?" he asked.

"No, I'm not in the mood for that right now," I told him. "I sort of have an idea of what I want to sing now."

"Oh, okay, listen I—"

"I have to go," I interrupted him. "I'll be late for school."

"Are you okay, Kurt?" he asked. "I didn't mean to upset you. We just—"

"No, I'm fine," I said as I started to cry. "I get it. I think what Blaine and I have is wonderful. You guys think Blaine is just some little school boy crush or that Blaine views me as just a crush. You don't think he loves me at all. You don't think he's taking our relationship as seriously as I think he is. I get it. I don't want to hear it anymore."

"Kurt, that's not it," Finn said.

"Bye, Finn," I said and hung up. I really had hoped they'd be happy for me. I hoped they would be glad that I was finally happy after everything that happened.

My phone buzzed. It was a text.

_I'm sorry. Good luck with your audition. I hope you get into the War Blurs. –Finn_

I smiled at the text, but I was still upset. I sent a text to Blaine that read:

_Sorry I wasn't able to make it to breakfast. I'll see you at lunch. –Kurt_

It was pretty late, and I didn't want Blaine to see me like this with puffy red eyes. I gathered my books and headed to the academic building. It was still really early so not many students were even in the building yet. When I got to my classroom, Nick was already there drinking coffee. My phone buzzed just as I walked in.

_Um okay…see you at lunch…-Blaine_

I sighed. He wanted some sort of explanation for why I wasn't at breakfast. I didn't have a good one to give, at least not one that I could explain through a text. I shoved my phone into my pocket abruptly.

"Trouble in paradise?" Nick joked.

"Not really?" I said as I sat down next to him.

"Well, what's wrong?" Nick asked. "You've been coming in here floating on air, but today you look like us lonely kids who have to use the ground to get around rather than cloud nine."

"Ha-ha," I said.

"Well, what's up?" he asked. I thought about just telling him that I was fine, but it was Nick. I felt like I could trust him with things like this.

"I think I love Blaine," I said. "I really do though. I think I love him, but I'm so afraid that he won't love me. I'm afraid of him telling me that he doesn't love me. I don't want to feel disappointment or feel unloved or feel whatever it is you feel when the person you love does not love you back."

"Oh, I see," he said. "I think you should just tell him. Before you do anything drastic like dismiss you guys' entire relationship, you should talk to Blaine about how you're feeling. I'm actually 99.8 percent positive that Blaine loves you back."

"But what if he doesn't…?" I asked. "What if he breaks up with me? What if it freaks him out that I'm in love with him already? Should I just wait for him to say it first?"

"Well, I don't know the answers to any of that," he said. "That's between you and Blaine, where you go from there. He's not going to just up and leave you, though. He likes you too much to just let you go like that, Kurt. I also think that when you love someone you just know the right time to tell them. What brought this on all of a sudden?"

"Yeah, thanks," I said. Nick was right in a way, but I was still afraid. "It was something my dad and my brother said this morning. They think Blaine isn't who I think he is and that he'll leave me sooner than later."

"I really don't think that's something you should be worried about. Blaine is crazy about you, Kurt," he said. "I wouldn't be surprised if he already loves you because I'm sure that any guy would love to be with you. You're smart, talented, funny, and have great fashion sense."

"Thanks, Nick," I said with a laugh.

"You have nice hair too," he said. We laughed.

"So, Blaine's hair rants are infamous now?" I asked.

"Yes, Blaine went on another rant about how magical your hair is today in the kitchen. I left early for this one. See, he's at least in love with your hair, Kurt," Nick joked.

"Yeah, I'm still scared though," I confessed. "Maybe I can just avoid the whole thing."

"Yeah, that's understandable, but you can't avoid it. You can't just avoid Blaine until it goes away. First of all, it's not going to go away and you can't just distance yourself from your boyfriend who you love," he said. "That would be ridiculous. Secondly, you need to tell him so that you just aren't constantly waiting for Blaine to say it every time you guys talk. It'll get irritating for you."

"Yeah, that'd be weird," I said as the teacher came in. We immediately went silent and got our books out for class. Nick was wrong. I could distance myself from my boyfriend, a little. We did spend a lot of time together. We could limit our time together. Maybe then he would break up with me because he was sick of me acting strangely or something. We might get into a fight because of it, but as long as he doesn't leave me because he gets sick of who I am or just because I love him and he doesn't love me then I'd be fine. I couldn't bear to hear any of that.

My morning classes went by extremely slowly. It's probably because Blaine didn't walk me to any of them. I was surprised at first, but then I remembered that I did tell him I would just see him at lunch. It made sense that he just gave me some space for the morning. At lunch I found him waiting outside the cafeteria for me.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," he said.

He reached out for my hand and I pretended not to see it and walked ahead of him into the cafeteria. "Let's get lunch. I'm starving. I missed breakfast and all."

"Yeah okay," he said as he followed me in.

"I'm going to get a salad and I'll just meet you at our usual spot," I said.

"Uh, okay, sure," Blaine said.

I sat down at our table and Blaine sat next to me as usual. I scooted away from him just a little bit. He grabbed my hand and just smiled. I looked up for Jeff to say something stupid, but he wasn't there.

"Jeff's not here," I said.

"No, he texted me and said he had to work on his art portfolio. He's trying to perfect it for college," he told me.

"Oh okay," I said.

"So, are you okay?" Blaine asked me. He grasped my hand tightly and looked up at me with those big hazel eyes that were filled with worry.

I just sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine." What was I supposed to say? 'No, I'm not okay, but it has nothing and everything to do with you.' I couldn't say that. I was worried he didn't love me and that he'd eventually leave if I confessed it too soon or he'd leave me for a host of other reasons thanks to my talk with Dad and Finn. I couldn't explain that to him.

"Are you sure? You look a little down. I know we haven't been able to spend a lot of time alone together because of school and homework and Jeff—"

"I don't mind Jeff at lunch at all," I told him. "I think he adds some fun to the table."

"Fun?" He asked.

"You're fun, too. Not fun like how Jeff is fun. Not that you aren't as fun as Jeff. You are a different kind of fun than Jeff. Fun really isn't the right word for you, but it is for Jeff—"

He laughed. "It's fine. I get it. I think my ranting is starting to rub off on you."

"Is that a good thing?" I asked.

"I think it's adorable," he said with a smile which made me blush and my heart rush.

I sighed. I took my hand out of his. "I've got to go," I said.

"Wait," he said. "You didn't eat much, and you didn't eat breakfast either. Are you sure you have to go?"

"Yeah, I'll see you later," I told him as I stood up from the table.

"Alright, Kurt," he said.

I liked Blaine a lot, but I don't want him to hurt me either. I guess that's what love was about though, wasn't it? I would eventually get hurt, right? Could I distance myself from my own boyfriend out of fear of being in love like that though? I didn't know what to do. I got up and walked away from the table and headed to my next class alone.

**Blaine's POV**

Kurt had been acting strangely all day. First, he skipped breakfast, and then he didn't want to sit close to me throughout lunch. Then, in all of our classes he completely avoided me. He wouldn't even keep eye contact with me. It was really weird. I wanted to walk him to his classes like normally but he rushed out of the classrooms so fast I couldn't catch him. In our last class before dinner, he ran out so quickly that I had no idea where he went. I headed to dinner hoping to see him already there, but he wasn't. I grabbed a tray, and took my time picking out food. Once everyone was at our table, I just went to sit down.

"Where's Kurt?" Jeff asked as I sat down next to David.

"Oh, I don't know," I said. "He rushed off after our last class. He's probably on the way though."

_Hey I'm not coming to dinner. I wanted to get some practice in before my audition. I'll meet you guys in the music room for my audition. -Kurt_

"Nevermind," I said. "He's not coming to dinner either."

"What do you mean 'either'?" David asked.

"He skipped out on breakfast and didn't really eat lunch," I told him.

"Maybe he's just really nervous about his audition, Blaine," Jeff said.

"I think he's scared of being fat," Wes said as he sat down.

I choked on my coke. "What?"

"Yeah, you're going to have to explain that one," Nick said to Wes.

"Well, he's so small," Wes said. "Maybe he's worried you won't love him if he becomes…" Wes lowered his voice and leaned forward and said, "a fatty."

Jeff, Nick, Thad, and David just laughed at him.

"I'm serious," Wes said.

"No, I don't think so," Nick said.

"Yeah, he might be skipping meals to stay cute and tiny for you, Blaine," Thad joked.

"Just stop," I said. "I refuse to believe that Kurt would do that. He knows that I don't care about that."

"Does he know?" Jeff asked. "You are always talking about how beautiful he is."

"Yeah, you love talking about his eyes," David said.

"And his skin," Nick said.

"And let's not forget the most important feature," Thad said.

"His hair," they all said together.

"Leave me alone! It's not my fault that I've noticed how perfect it is this week," I said as they laughed. "I like a lot of things about Kurt."

"We know," Thad said. Everyone laughed.

"Let's just go to practice already," I said as I stood up to get away from their teasing.

"Fine," Wes said. "Let's go!"

As we headed over to the music room, Wes looked a lot happier than he had looked for the last few days. He even skipped a bit while humming. I think it was "Follow the Yellow Brick Road." He had been more excited than anyone else about Kurt's audition. Kurt wouldn't talk to me about any of the details or the song choice. He wanted it to be a surprise. He didn't want my assistance picking a song because he said that I would be a distraction.

We must have been later than usual because there were already Warblers outside waiting to go in.

"Why is everyone so early?" I whispered to David.

"Thad told me earlier that Wes has been telling everyone that an angel was auditioning today," David said with a smile. "I think they might have thought a girl was coming or someone really amazing. I hope Kurt does well. What's he singing?"

"I don't know," I said. "He never told me, but he'll do fine."

"Yeah," he said.

As everyone piled into the room, I searched around for Kurt. I looked around at all the blazers and sweater vests, and I didn't see him anywhere.

Wes banged his gavel a few times and cleared his throat. "Today, we will be hearing the audition of Mr. Kurt Hummel and voting on it. So, please turn your attention to the back of the room."

I turned around from the chair I was sitting in, and there he was. He was standing next to the grand piano with his hands at both sides of him. He looked so nervous. I wished I could go up there with him and tell him that it would be fine, but Wes would have murdered me. He looked around and finally caught my eye. I smiled at him, but he looked down. He was acting so strangely today. Maybe it was just nerves.

"Kurt, you may begin when ready," Wes said. Kurt nodded and signaled to the pianist that he was ready after taking a deep breath. He started to sing looking away at one of the paintings on the wall solemnly.

_Before I fall too fast_

_Kiss me quick_

_But make it last_

_So I can see how badly this will hurt me_

_When you say good bye_

He turned up and looked straight at me. He was looking at me so sadly. Why would I ever say good bye to Kurt?

_Keep it sweet_

_Keep it slow_

_Let the future pass_

_And don't let go_

_But tonight I could fall too soon under this beautiful moonlight_

I smiled and thought of our date later. His skin would look so beautiful in the moonlight. I was so excited about it. He looked so happy and smiled at me as he sang the next part.

_But you're so hypnotizing_

_You got me laughing while I sing_

_You got me smiling in my sleep_

_And I can see this unraveling_

_And your love is where I'm falling_

_But please don't catch me_

_See this heart_

_Won't settle down_

_Like a child running scared from a clown_

_I'm terrified of what you'll do_

_My stomach screams just when I look at you_

_Run far away_

_So I can breathe_

_Even though you're far from suffocating me_

_I can't set my hopes to high_

'_Cause every hello ends with a goodbye_

Did he think that I was going to leave him? I would never leave him without reason. Was that why he was so distant earlier?

_But you're so hypnotizing_

_You've got me laughing while I sing_

_You've got me smiling in my sleep_

_And I can see this unraveling_

_Your love is where I'm falling_

_But please don't catch me_

_So now you see_

_Why I'm scared_

_I can't open up my heart without a care_

_But here I go_

_It's what I feel_

_And for the first time in my life I know it's real_

Was Kurt trying to tell me that he was afraid of falling in love with me? I was scared too, but love was like that.

_But you're so hypnotizing_

_You've got me laughing while I sing_

_You've get me smiling in my sleep_

_And I can see this unraveling_

_And your love is where I'm falling_

_So please don't catch me_

_And if this is love_

_Please don't break me_

_I'm giving up_

_So just catch me_

The room exploded with applause. People stood and walked over to Kurt to congratulate him. Everyone was so excited to find out that Kurt was a counter tenor. I just sat silently looking at him as everyone else shook his hand and spoke to him. I had no idea he was that afraid of all of this. I crossed my arms. Why didn't I see it?

"Ugh," Wes said as he came up behind me. "I didn't think he would sing such a mainstream type song."

I laughed. "Isn't this what you wanted? You wanted him to try out and he did."

"I know, but I didn't like his song choice at all!" Wes said. "I wanted him to sing a Broadway hit! I wanted him to sing something from any Broadway musical to be honest."

Kurt came over. "I heard you, Wes," he said. "I have to admit that I was thinking of tackling something from _Sunset Boulevard_, but this felt more …right." He looked at me.

Wes looked from me to Kurt. "Oh, so this is Blaine's fault. He made you feel something. Well, you still could have sung something from Rodger and Hammerstein's Cinderella, Sunset Boulevard, Phantom of the Opera, Rent or even Mary Poppins! You could have sung something from any musical because most of them are all about love!"

"Your frustration about his song choice is kind of funny," Nick said as he came over. "He tried out. You didn't ask him to perform a certain song. Plus, don't most of the ones you named have to have to have a male counterpart to sing it with."

"You're right Nick!" Wes shouted. "You're a genius!"

"He knows," Jeff said, jokingly.

"Not really," Nick said.

"No, really," Wes said. "Now that we have a counter tenor, we can do things like that!"

"What is he talking about?" Jeff asked.

"He's talking about using Kurt as the female counter part to lovey dovey duets," Nick said.

"Oh, yeah, Kurt does kind of sound like a girl when he sings," Jeff said, "in a good way though."

"Thanks, Jeff," Kurt said with a giggle.

My eyes widened as I caught on. "Wait stop. I don't think I'm comfortable with my boyfriend singing love songs to other boys."

"Blaine, it's just singing," David said. "It's not like Wes wants him to make out with them at the end of every song just for the dramatic effect."

"Yeah, it's not a play," Jeff said.

"Oh my gosh!" Wes shouted. "We, the Warblers, could put on a school musical! Kurt could be the damsel in distress, and there would be auditions for the prince!"

"_I_ would be the prince!" I shouted in protest.

"Calm down, Blaine," Thad said. "The three heads, me, David, and Wes, would have to agree on that and then have the club vote. I would vote against it and so would most of the boys. We don't have time right now."

"We have time in the spring!" Wes shouted.

"Yeah… we do," Thad said.

"No!" I shouted.

"Calm down, Blaine," Kurt said as he grabbed my hand. "I haven't even been added into the Warblers as a member yet. Since Wes didn't really like my song choice, I bet he makes me try out again."

"No, Kurt, you were flawless as expected," Wes said to him. "Let's vote! I will have order!" Wes shouted. He, Thad, and David took their seats at the head table. The other Warblers quickly took their seats on the various couches and chairs as Wes banged his gavel three times. "Kurt, I must ask you to leave. We must vote on your membership. Your presence in the room might sway the vote because people may not want to hurt your feelings. Blaine, I must ask you to vote honestly on the quality of his audition and not just because he's your boyfriend."

I laughed. "Okay, Wes." I pulled Kurt close to me into a hug and whispered in his ear. "Wait outside for me. We need to talk about why you've been so distant. I wonder if it had something to do with your song choice which was lovely by the way." I let go of him. He was blushing. I loved making him flustered.

He nodded and left the room.

"Okay," Wes said. "We are about to begin voting on the issue of whether or not to add Kurt Hummel to the Warblers. Please keep in mind while voting that being a Warbler has to do with talent and character. If he is added to the Warblers, when people see him, they will see not only Kurt Hummel, but a Warbler. Since we, the Warblers, are like a family, we will become like a brother to all of us. Is everyone clear?" Wes asked.

After seeing everyone nod, Thad began. "All of those in favor of making Kurt Hummel a member of the Warblers, please say 'Aye.'"

I heard the room fill with 'Aye's' and smiled. I let out my breath that I was apparently holding. I don't know why I was so worried.

"Those who do not wish to add Kurt Hummel as a member of the Warblers, please say 'Nay,'" Thad said.

I heard maybe three or four 'Nay's,' but I didn't look around to see who they were. I preferred not to know who they were. I was a little angry that they didn't enjoy his performance, but that was because I was biased. Kurt was my boyfriend, and I would always think he was doing an excellent job.

"Looks like the Aye's have it," Thad said.

"Kurt Hummel is now a member of the Warblers," Wes said. "The council will let Mr. Hummel know of his membership after this meeting, and we will give him his honorary Warbler pin on his first meeting. For now, this meeting is adjourned. It's been a long night."

A few cheers rang threw the room. I got up and immediately rushed out of the room along with others. I looked around outside of the room for Kurt, but I didn't see him anywhere. I looked around again and saw him emerge from the bathroom slowly.

"What were you doing in there?" I asked.

"Oh, I just saw the rush of Warblers come out of the room and I didn't want to bump into to anyone or get knocked over, so I just ran in there," he said. I smiled at him because he smiled, but I thought he had gotten over being around large crowds. But I guess what happened to him isn't something you could just get over. I wonder if that was what the song was about too. I knew it was about us and how he was afraid of us getting to close. I didn't know what to think. I just wanted to protect him from all of his worries.

"Well, you've got nothing to worry about, now," I said.

"Yeah, it looks like most of them are gone," he said, with a sigh.

"Yes, and I'm here now, too," I said with a smile.

"Yes, my prince is here," he joked.

"No, Blaine will have to audition for that role, remember?" Wes said.

He, Thad and David had come up behind us. "Kurt, we just wanted to let you know that you are officially a member of the Warblers!" Wes said.

"Thank you!" Kurt said.

"Well, we're off," Thad said. "We'll leave you two alone to talk or celebrate or make-out. I forget what they're calling it these days."

"Shut up," I laughed.

"Bye," he said as he, David, and Wes went their separate ways.

"Shall we?" I asked as I held my arm out for Kurt to grasp.

"Yeah," he said as he took my arm.

We began our slow walk back to the dorms in silence. "So, what was your song about?" I asked.

"It was nothing," he said. "Just something I've been thinking about today."

"If it was troubling you, then it wasn't 'nothing'," I said, looking over at him.

"It's just that…," he started. "I had a talk with Finn and my dad this morning. They think that I might be falling too fast for you."

"I'll catch you, like the songs says," I joked as I opened the door that lead outside.

"It's not just that," he said. "They think that you don't like me the way I like you. They think that you just have some crush on me and you're not taking this relationship as seriously as I am…and that…you'll leave me soon."

"Do you think that, too?" I asked.

"A little," he said as his eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry," he said as he began to cry. He let go of my arm and covered his face.

"Kurt," I said, sadly. "Come on, let's sit down. There's a bench over there." I grabbed his arm and led him to it. As we sat down, I held him. He put his head on my chest and I ran my fingers through his hair. "Hey, it's okay. I hope you know that that's not what this is. This isn't just some crush for me, Kurt. I was serious when I told you that just want you to be happy. I do. I can't stand to see you like this. I will try my best to never hurt you, Kurt. Do you really think that I would just leave you randomly?"

"I was afraid that as we got to know each other more, you would grow to hate me," he said into my chest. "I was afraid that you get sick of moving so slow with me and sick of how jumpy I am sometimes with crowds and people. I still am."

"None of that is your fault," I said. "I don't mind moving slow at all. I like how we are. One day, you won't be so jumpy anymore, but even if you don't stop being jumpy, I'll still be with you. Those are little things, Kurt. I love your confidence. You try not to stand out, but you can't help it. You embrace it some days, even. Your sense of fashion is out of this world. I wish I had half as much confidence as you did. I also wish I dressed as well as you did." I felt him smile. "I hear Nick talks to you. He never talks this much, but for some reason he's comfortable around you. Wes came to you with his problems about David, not me or Jeff or Nick but you. People can just open up to you about things. I love that about you. It's like you have this aura of love surrounding you. I feel so at peace when I'm around you. Those are reasons why I'm with you, Kurt. Those are things that I love about you."

He raised his head from my chest and looked at me. "Really?"

"Really," I said with a smile. I reached up and wiped his eyes. I left my hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes.

Kurt put his arms around my neck. We were so close. "Blaine, I think that I…." he started, but stopped. He leaned in and kissed me, and I kissed him back. That was one of those moments I wanted to last forever. "I love you," he said as our lips parted.

"I love you too," I said. I smiled so widely. I never thought this day would come at all, let alone so soon. He loved me. We sat on that bench for a while in silence, just being there with each other. "Come on," I said as I stood. "We're going to be late."

"Late for what?" he asked.

"Our reservation," I said. "Our first date is tonight and I am taking you somewhere fancy."

He laughed and stood. "Lead the way."

He grasped my arm tightly as we headed back to the dorms to get ready. Tonight had already started out wonderfully. I just hoped our date would be the same.

**Review responses: **Hey thank you **Master of Midnight, kawaii01, Sarahamanda**, and **Frances** for reviewing the last chapter! I really appreciate it!

**A/N: **Hey, people have been saying my writing style has changed so I'm going to try and fix that. The next chapter will be Kurt and Blaine's date which will be waaaay better than this chapter, I promise! If you have any requests for the place, or something you want them to do send me a message! It's winter right now so keep that in mind.


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